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30 Jul, 6 tweets, 1 min read
who did they give up tho
wait
was it me
do they have good french fries in chicago
"so...did they just trade every body or..." darth in cubs dugout
"helllooo...i brought pizza...hellooo?"
"for a what...a...a...red panda....wait pandas come in red now oh well that is what makes base ball great"

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More from @darth

darth™ Profile picture
29 Jul
why don't i get dreams like this
does any body else get really stupid dreams

last week i dreamed i was going to work and realized i had forgotten to put the top on the thermos of coffee i carry so i started to walk really slowly to avoid spilling the coffee and that was literally the entire dream i woke up
like why not just drink some of the coffee so it does not spill
Read 6 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
28 Jul
arthur was iconic tbh

remember arthur listening to music on his headphones arthur wearing headphones
remember when arthur was wearing buster slippers and buster was wearing arthur slippers arthur wearing buster slippers and buster wearing arthur sli
Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
28 Jul
the fact these shitheads had nothing positive to say when these athletes were winning but now suddenly have very loud personal observations on their careers now is all u need to know
veiled racism and misogyny without the veil
and this

Read 5 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
26 Jul
wait are we supposed to fold fitted sheets and not just stuff them into a drawer
they are fitted sheets
once the sheet is fitted on the mattress they are totally smooth no one knows they were just stuffed into the drawer moments ago this is just science
some body suggested i get flat sheets but i have them and they always come loose i am a restless sleeper it is just how it is
Read 7 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
22 Jul
omfg
“where has paul ryan been” has been answered
the brands are completely out of control today just utterly

Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
7 Jul
who?
what?

where?

Read 5 tweets

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