Ok, so. Talking to people, part 1. I dunno, #bakerhouseband, probably.
Years ago, generations ago, there were keys that got handed down, on how to talk to people, on how to meet new people, and places, so many places, to talk and meet each other.
Then we forgot.
Years ago, generations ago, there were keys that got handed down, on how to talk to people, on how to meet new people, and places, so many places, to talk and meet each other.
Then we forgot.
Collectively, we forgot collected-ness. Connectedness. I could point to a dozen reasons quickly, but right now let's just go with two: stranger-danger and the systematic monetization of public spaces. Oh, and the massive increase in cars & traffic speed.
"Stranger-danger" was a reaction to the dawning understanding that the abuse of children and violence against women* were real things, terrible things, & maybe if we just pretended those things were done by STRANGERS, instead of primarily within households, we would be safe.
(*Domestic violence & intimate partner violence is not only aimed at children & women, and also, the statistics are right there. Part of my point is how "stranger danger" focused on only part of the problem.)
Once we became convinced anyone we didn't already know was a threat, it was easy to start letting places we might meet new people fall away. So then there was no place TO meet new people.
Once strangers become suspect, anyone hanging out in a public place, especially without people they already know, is EXTRA suspect. So it becomes criminalized as loitering or etc etc.
Because what used to be part of everyday life -swinging over to wherever folks hung out, to see who was there, maybe meet someone new, maybe run into a friend- was now suspect, we got the Just Say No campaign as well: hanging out = strangers = drugs = BAD!
Overwhelmingly, throughout time and space and history, people help each other. We are friendly and curious and kind, and we don't want people to be lonely or scared. We have to be TAUGHT to be afraid and judgmental. And we have been. Very successfully.
Is it any wonder we have forgotten, so often, how to talk to each other? How to say hello without feeling nervous, on either side of the exchange? I want to hand down what keys I received, even though they are not as many as there were 100 years ago. At least I'm going to try.
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