Ok, so. Talking to people, part 1. I dunno, #bakerhouseband, probably.
Years ago, generations ago, there were keys that got handed down, on how to talk to people, on how to meet new people, and places, so many places, to talk and meet each other.
Then we forgot.
Collectively, we forgot collected-ness. Connectedness. I could point to a dozen reasons quickly, but right now let's just go with two: stranger-danger and the systematic monetization of public spaces. Oh, and the massive increase in cars & traffic speed.
"Stranger-danger" was a reaction to the dawning understanding that the abuse of children and violence against women* were real things, terrible things, & maybe if we just pretended those things were done by STRANGERS, instead of primarily within households, we would be safe.
(*Domestic violence & intimate partner violence is not only aimed at children & women, and also, the statistics are right there. Part of my point is how "stranger danger" focused on only part of the problem.)
Once we became convinced anyone we didn't already know was a threat, it was easy to start letting places we might meet new people fall away. So then there was no place TO meet new people.
Once strangers become suspect, anyone hanging out in a public place, especially without people they already know, is EXTRA suspect. So it becomes criminalized as loitering or etc etc.
Because what used to be part of everyday life -swinging over to wherever folks hung out, to see who was there, maybe meet someone new, maybe run into a friend- was now suspect, we got the Just Say No campaign as well: hanging out = strangers = drugs = BAD!
Overwhelmingly, throughout time and space and history, people help each other. We are friendly and curious and kind, and we don't want people to be lonely or scared. We have to be TAUGHT to be afraid and judgmental. And we have been. Very successfully.
Is it any wonder we have forgotten, so often, how to talk to each other? How to say hello without feeling nervous, on either side of the exchange? I want to hand down what keys I received, even though they are not as many as there were 100 years ago. At least I'm going to try.

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More from @NightSkyGames

12 Aug
Talking with People part 2, #bakerhouseband
One time, I was at a convention, meeting lots of new people. A man I’d never met before came up to me & said “You are Meguey Baker, right?” Yes I am. “And is it true you are a sex ed teacher?” Yes, right again! “I have a question...”
Ok, let’s sit down. This young man had just had the opportunity to talk with some young women, but had missed the chance, for several reasons. Primary among those was being on his way somewhere else, not wanting to intrude on the women, and also…
/not knowing how to approach someone he was interested in meeting but didn’t have context to meet/, as in, they were not at a gathering together with a socially easy way to say hello and introduce himself and have a casual conversation.
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12 Aug
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Let’s imagine I got up very early this morning and made oatmeal with the leftover apples & berries & nuts from yesterday. The folks who stayed up late last night talking & playing games around the fire banked it well,so it started easily. There’s hot water ready for tea & coffee.
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#CampWithMeg Flowers behind my tent!
(Please feel free to add photos from our imaginary camping trip to the hashtag! Keep to ones you’ve taken, please, but feel free to stage them if you like!) Image
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I want so very much to be camping somewhere far away in the mountains by a smallish lake with my family & like a handful of other folks. Play a little pretend camping trip with me? It’s morning, we hiked in yesterday, set up last night to be here for a few days. #CampWithMeg
Imagine tents. Imagine a solar charger so you can take photos, but no internet - no email, no streaming anything. Imagine it’s hot enough to swim during the day but cool enough to enjoy a fire at night.
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2 Mar
I was not harassed out of the project. I had something sprung on me, was pissed off, said so, thought it over a bit, and pulled my work. Shortly after that, the project folded.
As it happens, I had other stuff I needed to pay attention to on Saturday. I got a text at 1 PM from a friend to maybe check twitter, & spent the next 10 hours sorting out a mess with real consequences, for many people who were stunned & angry, some who were worried or afraid.
It would have been /extremely/ easy for us to just miss the entire thing, have it look like we were fully on board & had known all along. I'm very glad that's not how it played out, because that is the exact opposite of the case.
Read 5 tweets
9 Jul 20
This may be the best example of why safety tools, consistently and thoughtfully employed, make such a deep and lasting impact.
We have to understand that we are not just putting safety tools out there for players to protect themselves, we are actively looking to create safety, a long term cultural shift towards care, respect, & compassion for each other, even if our characters are post-apocalyptic beasts
Tagging @billy_white :)
Read 8 tweets

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