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David Burge Profile picture
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11 Aug, 6 tweets, 2 min read
These B-lister jerks ruining it for all of us in Austin's vibrant Z-list community
Austin's "celebrity" community consists of Willie Nelson, Matthew McConaughey, and 500 trivia questions
I'm sure a guy who used to be on Entourage thinks of himself as a celebrity the same way @EvilMopacATX thinks of himself as the 405

OH YEAH I WENT THERE
That's kinda my point
Look, I happily admit I'm not a celebrity, even by Austin standards. In fact I'm not a celebrity by Moville Iowa standards
I'm pretty used to people taking cell phone pictures of me at the grocery store, but I assume that's because of my tighty whiteys not my show biz career

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
11 Aug
Gonna pin a Whip Inflation Now button to my lime green leisure suit, crack a Billy Beer, sit back and listen to some ABBA on my 8 track
On the upside, maybe all of this will eventually reboot punk rock
Time to bust my groovy threads out the mothballs
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
9 Aug
Sucks when you move to a new place only to find out the previous tenants left it trashed
HGTV elevator pitch: Underpass Makeover
Can Gavin remodel this fixer-upper under the 580 and flip the polls before the recall? Tune in tonight!
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
9 Aug
no sir, all you have to do is tweet it with the #DavesCarIDService hashtag and wait patiently.
I will continue to do my pro bono weekend car identification here as a community service. The DCIDS Substack site is for the very best of that content, organized by topic, with extra history & patter from me. Think of it as my book, with a couple of new chapters every week.
as an aside, car IDing is increasingly the main (or only) reason I'm still on Twitter. It makes me happy, and seems to make other people happy regardless of their politics. A shit-ton more personal satisfaction than dishing out a viral sick burn or whatnot.
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
8 Aug
Today's episode of #DavesCarIDService is brought to you by the all new 1952 Dodge Coronet. Bring your friends to your local Dodge dealer and take one out for the blindfold test! Image
*yes, it's a parody, but based on a real Dodge ad. Image
As we begin our Sunday services, let us car ID seekers open our hymnals to page one and join in the old familiar I Will Follow Thy Guidelines Dave:

dcids.substack.com/p/dcids-the-te…
Read 30 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
5 Aug
Stop trying to make "Latinx" happen, it's not gonna happen
I would pay good money for some woke grievance studies major from Ithaca College to go into Jesse Colunga's lowrider shop in East Austin and explain that they're now all Latinxes
Properly understood, this is a modern day version of colonialism / cultural imperialism, plied by a priestly caste imposing proper language on the benighted natives over whom they assume reign. The Woke Man's Burden, if you will.
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
4 Aug
How many branches of government are we up to now?

By my count I've got Executive, Legislative, Judicial, CDC, Twitter, Randi Weingarten, Amtrak, NPR, and Hair Club For Men, let me know if I'm forgetting anyone
If they ever do a reboot of Schoolhouse Rock, it's gonna be really fucking complicated
Read 4 tweets

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