The Most Important Life Advice I Ever Gave My Adult Sons
// A THREAD //
First of all, don’t settle. You’ll fight yourself on this but I’m telling you, if you get this one right, you’ll be ok.
BE PATIENT. What’s the damn hurry? You work on you. She’s already out there, you’ll find her.
Maybe you’re not ready.
Know who you’re looking for. You should probably have a list of attributes you like in a girl.
Be honest with yourself.
Don’t share this list with anyone, they’ll judge you. This is YOUR list.
Your list might include the following,
Is she attractive?
Is she financially stable?
Does she have a mountain of debt?
Does she like dogs?
Is she educated?
Is she employed?
Does she have a great ass?
Is she kind?
Does she like to party?
Does she like to read?
Does she have a beautiful smile?
Audrey Hepburn was on to something when she said, “The happiest girls are the prettiest girls.”
This list is meant to be a guide and aren’t necessarily deal killers.
But if it's important to you, it should be on the list.
Write out a list, shallow or otherwise.
If you were going on a trip and I asked where you were going, you wouldn’t answer, “I’m not sure.”
You’d have a map with the GPS set on the most direct route, and probably photos of the destination.
WHERE’S MY WIFE???
Ask yourself, “Where does the girl from my list hang out? “
Bars? Probably not.
Volunteering? Maybe.
A book store? The gym? Church? (That’s where I met your mom)
Once you know where she might be, put yourself in those places.
Your list should also include some non-negotiables.
Personally, I had to be physically attracted to her. That was a non-negotiable.
I happen to love blondes but that WASN'T a non-negotiable.
When I met your mom, I thought she was out of my league. She’s beautiful. And blonde.
My faith was a non-negotiable. Marrying someone who wasn’t faithful or of a different faith was a deal killer, for me.
I went on a date with a girl who made a racial slur. I’m not gonna lie, she was BEAUTIFUL…HOT EVEN…and racist…that was a non-negotiable.
Tip: Don’t date someone you want to change. Or, who wants to change you. Marriage doesn’t work that way.
You probably want to be closer than farther apart on your political views, especially today. That may be a non-negotiable for you.
GET STARTED
When you’re ready, go on a lot of first dates. Seriously. I probably went on 100 first dates before I met your mom.
Go on very few 2nd dates.
If they’re not the one, move on.
Don’t waste your time and don’t waste their time.
Trust me, you’ll know.
When I met your mom,
• I couldn’t stop thinking about her
• I could be myself with her
• I lost all memory of anyone I’d ever dated
• She cared about the things that were important to me
• I wanted to shower her with gifts
• I wanted to be with her whenever possible
Easily summed up.
• Know who you’re looking for
• Have some non-negotiables
• Go on a lot of first dates
And most importantly,
Don’t fucking settle.
I would be grateful and humbled if you liked and retweeted the first tweet.
Todd: Hello… Operator…listen to me…I can’t speak very loud. – This is an emergency. I’m a passenger on a United flight to San Francisco.. We have a situation here….Our plane has been hijacked…..can you understand me?
Lisa: (exhaling a deep breath to herself) I understand… Can the hijackers see you talking on the phone?
Todd: No
Lisa: Can you tell me how many hijackers are on the plane?
Todd: There are three that we know of.
Lisa: Can you see any weapons? What kind of weapons do they have?
Todd: Yes…. they don’t have guns….they have knives – they took over the plane with knives.
Lisa: Do you mean…like steak knives?
Todd: No, these are razor knives…like box cutters.
Lisa: Can you tell what country these people are from?
I started preparing a document for my wife titled,
“Babe, If I die unexpectedly”
I know. Weird.
It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years but haven’t had the time.
- thread -
I’m not a big fan of flying.
I have to force myself to think about something else because if I think about the giant metal tube I’m in, moving through the air at 575 miles per hour, I freak out.
According to a friend of mine who’s a pilot, “I have control issues.”
And so, every time I fly without my wife, I think about writing this document.
My initial thought was to tell her where all the passwords are, give her a list of important phone numbers, like our accountants (in both countries), doctors, partners, etc.