Thread by @nishthagehija26

Everyone thinks kindness is easy, but I think kindness is the hardest thing in the world

Here's why

A real-life story thread

When I was 19, I fell in love.
With only one problem:

The guy VANISHED on the next day of making out.

I called, and got lolled.
I tried connecting, all in vain.
I waited for a closure, because I hadn’t still understood that no closure IS a closure.

I almost felt like a pro*titute.
An unpaid one.
I had anger for the other person, and bigger anger on myself for being such a big fool.

It continued for months.
Questioning myself.
Imagining myself going to the past and saying no.
Also beating myself 2-3 times.

But later I was glad he left, because had he stayed, what kind of life would I have had.

Through 2012 – 2016, I picked myself up really well.

But I hadn’t still realised that I had made a mistake of saying yes to someone I shouldn’t have.

So, I said yes to another one in 2016, when I was 25, who also vanished on the next day of making out.

No reachability, no calls, nothing.

It almost felt like a pattern.
The least imagined one.
And I was left with nothing but anxiety.

Why wasn’t I left even worth a communication?

Don’t we owe even an “FYI” to the other person?

Why did I have to damage myself so much before coming to terms with truth?

This self-loathing continued for another year, where I was nothing but present in the present.

I was now finally breaking away from myself. It was weird.

Yet liberating from the part of me that said “yes” both the times.

It felt so good letting go of that part of myself, yet wishing that part didn’t exist ever.

But life moves on. So have I.
And now I have gotten a Ph. D. in identifying people from their conversations (and rarely they go wrong!)

But here is what I want to tell you:

Our tiniest of actions impact others for a long long time, in ways we cannot comprehend.

Maybe I was just a side kick for someone wanting to have fun.

If they had the empathy, they wouldn’t have gone ahead.
If I had the strength, I would have backed off.

But, two people’s unpremeditated behaviour almost ruined an entire decade for me.

That’s extreme, but I guess if our actions that are not thought through, they at least ruin a day for others.

- How we pulled someone down in a WA group chat
- Why we made fun of a cousin in a family gathering
- Or may be, a tiny thing like not responding to a close friend when they were expecting a response…

Tiny things, stacked on top of each other, perhaps ruin a day for someone.

What if we take care of the tiny things? Not the big ones, just the tiny things:
- I will look for qualities in people when I start complaining
- I'll make sure I say no politely, instead of saying yes and never meaning it
- I'll be respectful even while asking someone to change

We all know what karma is, but it is not only in terms of stealing someone’s money.

It also works equally in terms of stealing someone’s happiness. Why would you want to sign up for that?

We all have influencers that impact our thought processes, right?

Here is your chance to be an influencer: To the 5 people you chat on WhatsApp with and to the 3 people you email, let them know through your actions that you are the kindest person they have met.

Yes there will be difficult moments.

Yes there will be times you want to freak out, be uncivilized, and get angry.

But, it is in difficult moments that your character is defined – whether you vanish on the day you were least expected to, or you show who you really are.
Fin.