Thread by @nishthagehija26

How to say no

(without sounding rude)

A thread

Hi Nishtha! How are you?

I recently got this text from an ex colleague of a client I was working with.

The client was epic.
However, this partner threw me out of my writing assignment just on call.
Which I made.
After several follow-ups.

I’m usually someone who responds 😊 or 👍 after conversations, however, I didn’t respond to this one.
Why?

Because he would again give me good assignment.
And then say no unprofessionally without me being aware of.

Why do you have to screw up with people again and again?

Here's why we don’t say no:

1. In order to be liked
2. We think we will be abandoned
3. We want them to not feel the way we felt when we were said no to – again a sign of lack of self worth.

Btw, I say a lot of abundant yes:

- Work – because I love my job AND the culture
- To my closest friends
- Of course, to me-time without devices

However, what is the reason that enables me to say yes to what's important?

Most people are not able to say no to others because they do not say yes to themselves.

That is the trap you have to avoid my friend.

Here's how to say no:
1. People are always showing who they are. Are we seeing them?
2. At a certain point, you need to stop running after more money and optimising for more value of your time.
3. Hey, I'd love to do this however, won’t be possible for me at the moment.

How to get better at saying no?
1. Spend time with yourself – which we rarely do

EVERYONE says no a lot and is happy has this common trait.

2. Just because you said yes last time and regretted, doesn't mean you have to make the same mistake again.

3. Stop that inner chatter that comes up after saying no

People totally admire people who say no.
On the face of it they may seem displeased, however, that's because they wish they could get as strong as you in saying no.

No.

Kind no.

Polite no.

Self-loving no.

Thanks, however, won't be possible at the moment.

So that, you have a life of yes'es:
- More time with friends
- Happy time at work
- Quality time with yourself 💛

Is there anything more important than this?

In the end, all our problems boil down to ONE thing:
Power to say no.

If you have mastered this, you've conquered the world.

It will come with time, however, the last time I checked, none of us could walk smoothly on Day 1 either. See how far we've come with practice :)

Fin.