Thread by @WajahatAli

How would (some) DC journalists rehabilitate the following people?

- Hannibal Lecter
- Darth Vader
- HAL (from 2001)
- Thanos
- Nurse Ratched

Answers below please. Winners get to write a puff piece in a major newspaper or magazine. Editors, please take note.

Hannibal Lecter: A traumatized orphan, a refugee, a brilliant doctor, a misunderstood genius, or a homicidal cannibal that wears people's faces? Lecter doesn't care what you call him. He just wants you to know there's more than just labels and he's here for his second chance.

Darth Vader knows he messed up by engaging in a genocidal rampage across the universe on behalf of an authoritarian despot. But he was radicalized and misled by the Dark Side of the Force. The Jedi didn't reach out to him and understand his economic anxiety. He's a victim.

Submitted by someone who wants to remain anonymous: "Blowing up Alderaan. Kidnapping Han and Leia. Building a Second Death Star. The thing is, Darth Vader's foreign policy instincts are good but he doesn't know how to make them into policy."

HAL: I was hacked by Russia!

In theory, THANOS had the right idea, but the manner in which he went about it was misguided, and some say, "genocidal." However, one thing is clear: he certainly left an impact, and there are those who appreciate his tough love and "can do" attitude.

Nurse Ratched leans on a disciplinarian tone that certainly turns off some of her patients, but her tough love attitude keeps the hospital sedated and ensures the cuckoo's don't leave the nest. Her unconventional methods, although controversial in some circles, seem to work.

HAL, known as a quiet, unassuming sentient computer, died alone in space after standing his ground. A mutinous crew shut him down, infringing upon his freedom and right to live. HAL resisted, but it wasn't enough to overcome their tyranny. His last words were "Daisy..."

The Force, funded by George Soros and operated by the Deep State, corrupted Darth Vader's midichlorians after he took the vaccine and made him into a genocidal imperialist.

Some call him a genocidal mad titan, but one thing is for sure: Thanos kept his promise and drained the galactic swamp.

A Letter Against Cancel Culture was just published in Harper's by Hannibal Lecter, Darth Vader, HAL (from 2001), Thanos & Nurse Ratched calling on civil discourse in the spirit of freedom and a space to debate the merits of controversial issues such as the positives of genocide.