She found the mirror hidden in the back
of a dusty curio shop and fell in love.
Its proportions and dignified antiquity
made it the perfect piece in which
to admire herself.
The ancient proprietor watched her
as she gazed at her pretty face in the glass.
He knew by her dress she couldn't afford it,
for though his premises were dusty and jumbled
all his treasures were just that –
treasures of impeccable craftsmanship,
venerable age and unimpeachable provenance.
But he had been waiting for her;
he knew she was the one meant for that mirror –
the only possible rightful owner.
When she turned and asked the price
he gave a charming smile.
"For you, a special bargain,"
and named a sum ridiculously low.
And, as was fitting, she then bought it
and arranged for its delivery the next day.
The old man, having fulfilled his part
in this unfolding, smiled again
as she thanked him, waving as she left the shop.
She hung the mirror in the hallway off the parlor,
a place to show it off but yet convenient
for preening, and every time she passed it
she would stop just for a moment
to admire herself framed in its gilded oak.
And her occasional guests were all astonished,
whispering behind their hands, wondering how
she'd found the wherewithal to buy it.
After awhile she noticed something odd
about the mirror – rather, something odd
in how it reflected.
Her face would seem to waver slightly
as she stood before it,
almost melting, fusing with the silvered glass.
She wondered if her eyes were going
so she had them checked, but no –
her eyes were fine – it was the mirror.
Not too long after her eyes were pronounced perfect
she was smoothing scarlet lipstick on her pretty pouty
mouth before the mirror. When she was done she
flashed herself a smile.
And then, the mirror spoke her name.
She fainted dead away onto hard wood,
waking sometime later with a nasty bump.
Shaking, she stood before the glass all
disbelieving, as if daring it to speak her name again.
No sound came forth.
She decided she’d been deluded, overtired;
her nerves had always been her weakest point.
Day after day she paused before the mirror,
glancing into silent glass and smiling.
She began regaling this adventure to friends,
telling tales on herself and her imagining
she owned a talking mirror.
One night she came home late,
a bit the worse for wear after a party.
She stumbled down the hallway to the mirror;
defiantly she stared into its smoothness,
chanting "Mirror mirror on the wall,
I'm the fairest of them all."
To her horror the glass rippled
like waves buffeted by the wind.
Then, two wrinkled, sharp-clawed hands
shot forth from it, grabbing her by the neck.
The last thing she remembered before
everything went black was a guttural voice replying,
"Yes, you are, and no doubt tender too."
A fisherman took his boat far out to sea. He hooked a huge fish, and fought it for hours.
Unfortunately, as he wasn’t strapped into his seat, he was yanked overboard and began to drown.
Suddenly, he was rescued and brought back to his boat by a pair of dolphins.
Without thinking, the fisherman thanked them.
They replied, “You’re welcome!” fisherman said, “You can talk! This is amazing! Is there anything I can do to repay you for saving my life?”
Yes, indeed,” one of the dolphins replied. “We are magical dolphins. We are also immortal, as long as we consume a rare breed of seagull chick once every 500 years. As it so happens, our time of need is near.”
A man with hearing problems crashed his car into an expensive car,
The owner of the expensive car walked out of his house & said, “Give me $10,000 or I’ll beat the hell out of you!”
The man replied, “Who,buddy, I don’t have that much, but let me call my son – he trains dolphins.”
The man called his son and right as he was about to speak the owner of the expensive car yanked the phone out of his hand and said, “So you train dolphins? Well bring me $10,000 or I’ll beat your dad!”
The son answered, “Okay, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.”
15 minutes later the son pulled up in a jeep and out jumped 10 men who began beating the shit out of the owner of the car.
Brendan and Mick saw an expensive pair of crocodile shoes in a Dublin shop one day.
Brendan said, “Look at the price of those shoes. I think we should get ourselves into that line of business.”
So they flew out to Africa, set up beside a notorious crocodile infested lake and got to work catching crocodiles.
After a long, hard day’s work they have a long line of dead crocodiles all along the lake shore.
They worked hard but were getting more frustrated and angry by the minute.
Mick finally gave in, saying, “This isn’t working, we’ve killed 26 crocodiles today and not one of them are any use to us!”
still summer
yet somewhere around six o'clock
i dug out a hoodie it's that cold
but the earth is out of round
and what are we doing to fix it?
not enough for sure
unless common sense and an overarching love
for our only home can triumph over greed
we're doomed
~ RC deWinter
This was my #poetry theme for the day as well. I’ve been writing about the demise of the earth for years but now it seems even more urgent. We have got to forget greed and think about conserving the viabiliyof the only place we can live life as we know it.
A woman’s husband had been ill in hospital for several months. He kept slipping in and out of a coma but she remained faithfully by his bedside every single day.
Then one day, when he woke from his coma, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she moved closer and sat beside him, with eyes filling with tears he whispered into her ear, “You know what? You’ve been with me through all the tough times. When I got fired from my job, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there for me.”
“When I got shot, you were by my side all the time. When we lost the house, you stayed right here with me. And even when my health started failing, you were still by my side…You know what?”
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful woman in a swimsuit swam onto shore, told him she was a genie and had three gifts for him.
She said, “Tell me, how long has it been since you had a drink?"
He replied "Ten years" and with that she she pulled a bottle of whiskey out of the swimsuit.
She then asked, "Tell me, how long has it been since you smoked a cigar?"
He replied "Again, 10 years" and with that she pulled a cigar and lighter from the swimsuit.
She then seductively unzipped the swimsuit and Saudi, "Now tell me – how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"
"My God!" he replied. Don't tell me you've got a playstation in there!"