Thread by @imaracingmom

Today's Thread:
Surviving isn't enough.
merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sur…
1/

I take pride in being a survivor. I've faced some pretty nasty shit in life, much of it I've talked about in other threads and in my blog. Yes, I'd say I've made the round trip to hell more than once.
2/

Being strong helps. But the past year has taught me one very painful lesson. I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I had adapted to life's obstacles and figured out how to survive. That is not the same as being strong. I'm much weaker than I thought I was.
3/

My first key to survival was to learn to be invisible. Don't draw attention to myself when I feel threatened. We all instinctually know this skill. It is the 2nd part of "fight or flight". Run and hide, so the evil in life doesn't find you.
4/

When you can't run, you fight. I spent many years being proud of the scrappy fighter I can be when backed in a corner. I can be a very dirty fighter when I think I need to be. Not something to be proud of, but it has helped me survive.
5/

I've been on a journey for the past year. A journey of self-discovery and of healing. Learning about how my brain works, feeling all the things I've hid from for too many years. Realizing how much time I spend in fight or flight mode.
6/

I've been in therapy, have spend time watching videos, listening to podcasts and doing more reading than I've done in years. I've done a lot of public and private sharing of this journey, hoping it helps people understand what it's like, and to help some know they're not alone 7/

I've been deeply moved by a book called "Widen the Window". I haven't finished it yet, but have already gone back and reread several parts. Letting the awakening it's giving my brain sink in. Absorbing an understanding of myself I've never had.
8/

I hope that because I survived, I'm able to make a positive impact in this world. To me, that's what it takes to be a success in life. To have a positive impact. Today, a lightbulb went off in my head, and I realized how many 2nd chances I've had.
9/

That realization also led to a new understanding. When we're given a 2nd chance, we shouldn't waste it, because we never know if we'll have another one. That's when I figured out that surviving doesn't mean shit.
10/

The only way you take advantage of a 2nd chance, of surviving something awful, is if you step out of survival mode - fight or flight - and start living. There is so much more to life than just surviving it! My new goal is to live, not to survive. I'm excited!
11/11

Hey @threadreaderapp please unroll for my friend @hbowly