If you don’t have long wavy hair you’re missing out on some pretty great experiences, like: seeing someone out of the corner of your eye in a dark room, but it’s actually your hair. Feeling spiders on you, but it’s just your hair. Thinking your hair is on you, but it’s spiders.
And my personal unfavorite; how do I phrase this… removing hairs that have fallen off of your head, and nestled in your ass crack somehow, despite the fact that it makes NO LOGICAL FUCKING SENSE!!! I’M WEARING PANTS AND UNDERWEAR, HOW?! FUCKING HOW?! Yet here I am…
12:31 AM pulling a titanboa length hair from betwixt my ample cheekdom thinking “how the fuck?!” For a solid 12 min extraction of exploratory tresses, and contemplating both physics and my own life choices on a Tuesday morn.
I may be hauling more cake that a hostess truck, or it may just be that half of my head hair migrated down south for dubious purposes of which I may never ASScertain…
I’m such a poet. This is art. You’re welcome humanity.

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More from @RancidGinger

14 Sep
Let’s discuss why masturbation is demonized, and how body control morphs into religious indoctrination. While this topic applies to both flogging the bishop and pressing the devil’s doorbell, it affects men and women differently today.
I’m going to start with circumcision and how it was adopted by Christian fundamentalists to prevent boys from feeling carnal pleasure through slapping the one eyed salamander. In the Victorian era both male and female circumcision were practiced on children.
Female Genital Mutilation was thought to stop “hysteria” in women, which was a “mental illness” thought to be caused by a woman’s reproductive organs, by *checks notes* MALE doctors. 🚨Fun fact: hysteria was actually caused by women being tired of men’s fucking stupid shit.
Read 16 tweets
13 Sep
Texas still has a ban on the sale of female sex toys, because the men feel emasculated that they can’t please us. Luckily, it’s not enforceable because it’s unconstitutional. This ban was never repealed. It was introduced in the 70’s, and upheld in the 2000’s. Let’s discuss…
They banned sex toys due to “obscenity” and stated they could only be sold in the state as “cake toppers” for bachelorette parties. If you went into a sex store in texas, they would be labeled as cake toppers, and marked with a sticker that said not for internal use.
This ban was signed by *checks notes* men. The war on women in this state is real. They may take our body autonomy and our dildos, but they’ll never take our ability to hump the washing machine with an unbalanced load…
Read 10 tweets
12 Sep
My thread about 9/11 was not to say that 9/11 wasn’t important. It was to talk about how we ignore and forget millions of deaths caused by billionaires greed, every year. Yes, I include Covid in that list, because we would have stayed shut down, if it wasn’t for their economy.
Many people pointed out how disheartening it was to watch people search desperately for family, and that reminds me of people searching desperately for loved ones after hurricane Katrina. It reminds me of parents screaming their kids names outside of schools, movies and malls.
People pointed out how they knew people who had passed or attended funerals, and I imagine children orphaned from Covid, or people who have lost their whole families to domestic gun violence can relate. People pointed out how for a brief moment we stood together…
Read 9 tweets
12 Sep
9/11 seems like a drop in the pond compared to so many tragedies that have happened since. At the time, it was formative for millions of young children like myself. We were bequeathed disillusionment. The burden of believing everything would be ok, was lifted from our shoulders.
I was a teenager, who showed up to school late, because she wanted to finish watching “Ghostbusters” and my first period was art, and my project was already done. By the time I showed up at the high school, I immediately thought there had been a shooting.
People were outside crying and screaming, as I ran into the building to find my friends, I saw some classes were going on but most kids were watching TV or wandering the halls. I walked into an open class to see what was on TV. Immediately I saw a building collapse.
Read 13 tweets
5 Sep
A lot of people may be confused about Texas and why the women don’t just use birth control, so I’d like to talk about my personal experience in this state to give some insight; first of all, Texas teaches abstinence only sex education. Purity culture reigns supreme.
The idea is that if you have sex as a female you are unclean and lose your worth in the eyes of male suitors, and god. Your dad may even take you to purity balls where you promise him, in a room full of other dads, not to have sex with any man until you’re married.
You may be thinking that this sounds like a period piece, some movie set in the 1500’s depicting how women should behave, until they are sold into marriage by their father. Honestly, this is very much a holdover from that era. Our religious indoctrination will also enforce this.
Read 20 tweets
23 Aug
A troll group is incessantly attacking me, I’ve blocked a lot of them, but they are scrubbing my social media to just keep the attacks going. They’re miserable, honestly. At this point if you see something please report.

I have a life to deal with and I don’t need the stress.
Quite frankly, it’s pathetic that they claim to be decent people, but I’m a stay at home mom of special needs kids, just trying to be friendly with people. This all started when I parodied Tony Posnaski for being a jerk, and a creep, by selling a picture of a cat.
Afterward a woman in a group got into a fight with David Weissman and as she was caught in a lie we chose her side. She decided to join with the trolls. They have made David’s wife and kids pawns to seem justified in harassing me. But I don’t support David.
Read 6 tweets

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