#FashonWatch This year's Met Gala was "THE AMERICAN LEXICON". (I'd thought it was Glamour, my bad.) Okay, so hold that in your head as we slog through ten million photos. A M E R I C A N. I would guess American influences in fashion.
So we start with Rihanna in Balmain. France.
So we start with Rihanna in Balmain. France.
Honestly, A$AP Rocky with her in the quilt/afghan is more American in terms of fashion. How often will I say THAT. 
Kiki Layne and Ashton Sanders, no word on designers. Interesting pose, I feel like we're seeing a scene, and I'll give him a few points for not wearing black. Otherwise that's a pretty run of the mill dress.
Natalia Bryant and Conner Ives in Conner Ives. If we fill it with helium, will it float?
Generally people going over Met Gala outfits, we look to see if they stuck to the theme more than how they look, precisely. This just makes no sense?
Generally people going over Met Gala outfits, we look to see if they stuck to the theme more than how they look, precisely. This just makes no sense?
Whoopi Goldberg, Pierpaolo Piccioli and Carey Mulligan in Valentino.
Valetino, the ITALIAN brand. They look okay, but Italian for an American theme?
And those goddamn gloves really need to die, Valentino. She looks like she just got done doing dishes.
Valetino, the ITALIAN brand. They look okay, but Italian for an American theme?
And those goddamn gloves really need to die, Valentino. She looks like she just got done doing dishes.
Normani also in goddamn Valentino, but at least she wore a nice necklace to fill in all that space.
LaQuan Smith in Tom Ford. With a necklace!
Brown and black together used to really get the side eye. I'm not sure how they feel about it now, but was that velvet done on purpose to look like tree bark?
Brown and black together used to really get the side eye. I'm not sure how they feel about it now, but was that velvet done on purpose to look like tree bark?
Emily Ratajkowski in Vera Wang. Not quite naked... naked gloves though. Almost fits. Would rather a necklace than that wad of fabric pretending to be a flower at her neck.
Jordan Alexander in Christopher John Rogers and Christopher John Rogers in Tom Ford. CJR is one of my faves because of his use of color. AND a necklace. Wish he'd gone with some color, though.
Quannah Chasinghorse in Dundas. She's a new making-waves First Nations model, and I like her choice of jewelry. The gown's pretty meh, but she's likely still making the connections it takes to get those things.
Tessa Thompson in Iris Van Herpen, whom I love but is Dutch. The cowboy hat isn't helping, it's just obscuring the dress.
Helen Lasichanh and Pharrell Williams in Chanel.
This is what the French think Western outfits look like.
He should have stuck with shorts.
This is what the French think Western outfits look like.
He should have stuck with shorts.
Shai Alexander in Tom Ford.
He looks deeply apprehensive about this entire thing.
Fuck it, it's not black. Even if it did come off a couch.
He looks deeply apprehensive about this entire thing.
Fuck it, it's not black. Even if it did come off a couch.
Jackie Aina in Fe Noel. No idea what the purse? sculpture? thing is about. The dress is a size too small and showing me things I never wanted to see. If it fit, it'd work.
Just add "needs a necklace" to fucking everything.
Just add "needs a necklace" to fucking everything.
Joan Smalls in Ralph Lauren.
An American designer, at least.
I suspect this is the fashion model equivalent to 'fuck it, what's in my closet?'
An American designer, at least.
I suspect this is the fashion model equivalent to 'fuck it, what's in my closet?'
Vera Wang in Vera Wang.
She's been having a career meltdown for a while now, and I'll ask what I always ask when I see this stuff: Is she okay? Has someone checked on her? Not joking.
She's been having a career meltdown for a while now, and I'll ask what I always ask when I see this stuff: Is she okay? Has someone checked on her? Not joking.
Go dig up Vera Wang from twenty years ago if you need context for that.
Paloma Elsesser in Zac Posen. Yay, Posen's back!
She looks fabulous.
She looks fabulous.
Rachel Zegler in Christian Dior.
-stares into the camera in it's-fucking-French-
-stares into the camera in it's-fucking-French-
Jack Harlow in Tommy Hilfiger.
Overtones of Beetlejuice, but it's not black. Entirely.
Overtones of Beetlejuice, but it's not black. Entirely.
Channing Tatum in go the hell home again and re-think your life choices.
Jeremy Pope and Janet Mock.
1. It's not black, and
2. It IS a bed spread.
1. It's not black, and
2. It IS a bed spread.
Huma Abedin. No detail, but she looks great. Could be a callback to half a dozen designers. Or American movies.
Indya Moore in Saint Laurent.
A FRENCH bedsheet entry. And bows. Drink.
Fuck, I need something with caffeine to get through this.
A FRENCH bedsheet entry. And bows. Drink.
Fuck, I need something with caffeine to get through this.
Vittoria Ceretti in Michael Kors Collection.
A sparkly gold dress is pretty damned obvious, but she looks good in it, and it fits. That's a Bulgari snake necklace.
A sparkly gold dress is pretty damned obvious, but she looks good in it, and it fits. That's a Bulgari snake necklace.
Anitta and Alexandre Birman in "fuck it, what's in the closet?"
Kristine Froseth in Tory Burch.
Looks like it may have been assembled from prison jumpsuits. I say this as a lover of orange. Sorry. Those exposed seams are just a big fat no.
Looks like it may have been assembled from prison jumpsuits. I say this as a lover of orange. Sorry. Those exposed seams are just a big fat no.
Hailee Steinfeld in Iris van Herpen who is still Danish.
She's clearly been working out for the Hawkeye role. (Yeah, she got cast as Kate Bishop.) She's also a major fashion nerd, so whatever. -hand wave-
She's clearly been working out for the Hawkeye role. (Yeah, she got cast as Kate Bishop.) She's also a major fashion nerd, so whatever. -hand wave-
Kehlani in Aliétte. One of the better tries at evening trousers/pants/slacks. Points for the mask, too.
Hunter Schafer in Prada, which is in Milan.
This feels like it's outrageous to be outrageous, and we are going nowhere near whatever the fuck that is on her face.
This feels like it's outrageous to be outrageous, and we are going nowhere near whatever the fuck that is on her face.
Is that Morse code spelling out 'fashion mistake'?
Laura Harrier and Joseph Altuzarra in Altuzarra which is often questionable and in this case a bad mix with that pose, let's pretend that pose was just a photog catching her in motion, okay?
Going in search of caffeine.
And a pill has gone missing in my bed, it'll be fun to see where that turns up.
Okay. Kid Cudi. Rag on it all you want, but so far he's come closest to American contributions to fashion. Street clothes are really our thing and they climb UP to couture, instead of top-down like in Europe. Generally speaking. A+ on theme.
Michael Kors and Regina King in Michael Kors Collection.
Kors was busting ass for this. Reflected in his own lack of any style whatsoever. I like the golden chalkstripe, he ripped it off Gaultier, but it's fun.
Kors was busting ass for this. Reflected in his own lack of any style whatsoever. I like the golden chalkstripe, he ripped it off Gaultier, but it's fun.
Kerby Jean-Raymond in Pyer Moss.
That's a parachute, or at least a fake parachute. I'm sure there's political commentary here, that's what Moss is known for, but parachute. Hope he gets it off before he dies of heat stroke.
That's a parachute, or at least a fake parachute. I'm sure there's political commentary here, that's what Moss is known for, but parachute. Hope he gets it off before he dies of heat stroke.
Margaret Qualley in Chanel. A Chanel nightgown.
Well after Chanel threw in with the Nazis in WW2 she relied on Americans to keep her in business. That's our commentary?
Well after Chanel threw in with the Nazis in WW2 she relied on Americans to keep her in business. That's our commentary?
Lily-Rose Depp in Chanel.
What even IS that?
What even IS that?
I realize the black and white is someone behind her. I STILL DON'T KNOW.
Rosalía in Rick Owens.
Rick Owens is a French shock-based 'designer' who probably did no research and thinks fringe and leather = First Nations = America.
And, drink.
Rick Owens is a French shock-based 'designer' who probably did no research and thinks fringe and leather = First Nations = America.
And, drink.
Zoë Kravitz in Saint Laurent.
Line it in a fucking color.
Line it in a fucking color.
For extra hilarity, that looks like the Gucci logos.
Ariana DeBose in Michael Kors Collection.
WTELF was with Kors?? I like the spit-curls, and I assume this is a thirties tribute to someone? Anyway, she looks good and that WAS a look. Harlem Renaissance maybe? Very American.
WTELF was with Kors?? I like the spit-curls, and I assume this is a thirties tribute to someone? Anyway, she looks good and that WAS a look. Harlem Renaissance maybe? Very American.
Michaela Coel in Balenciaga. From Paris.
Eh, I can't do worse than those built-in boots. Those are horrible to wear.
Eh, I can't do worse than those built-in boots. Those are horrible to wear.
Cara Delevingne in Christian Dior who I think she has a contract with.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I hope they cried when she told them to make it or she'd wear someone else. Bravo.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I hope they cried when she told them to make it or she'd wear someone else. Bravo.
EL in what the fuck am I even looking at, not even a necklace is saving it.
Fun hair though?
Seriously though, what the fucking hell?
Fun hair though?
Seriously though, what the fucking hell?
Kristen Stewart in Chanel, who she should sue.
She's got a contract with them. She was in a tweed romper in Venice, FFS. This is also a fucking disaster.
She's got a contract with them. She was in a tweed romper in Venice, FFS. This is also a fucking disaster.
Lili Reinhart in Christian Siriano. Apparently that's all the state flowers.
Still doesn't save it from being underpinnings with a couple yards of fabric wrapped around it.
Still doesn't save it from being underpinnings with a couple yards of fabric wrapped around it.
Kate Hudson in Michael Kors Collection. And a necklace.
LOOK! LOOK AT HER ABS EVERYBODY!
LOOK! LOOK AT HER ABS EVERYBODY!
Anja Rubik in ATTACK OF THE TRIBBLES. Oh, wait, no. Saint Laurent.
Venus Williams in Prabal Gurung. Nice. She always looks fabulous, and went to a naturalized citizen for her outfit this year, bravo.
Kendall Jenner in tone-deaf line it in a fucking color Givenchy.
Also add a couple inches to the length of the bodice. Bet you this is a sample.
Also add a couple inches to the length of the bodice. Bet you this is a sample.
Gigi Hadid in Prada.
Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello in Michael Kors Collection. WTF is it with Kors? Only American designer someone could find?
Sonny and Cher imitation?
Sonny and Cher imitation?
Winnie Harlow in Iris van Herpen, who is actually Dutch, my bad.
I think she'd have looked better in that red flame number from IVH's ocean/water collection.
I think she'd have looked better in that red flame number from IVH's ocean/water collection.
One of these.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Sharon Stone in Thom Browne. "Fuck it, what's in my closet?"
Simone Biles in Area. Apparently the dress weighed almost as much as she does.
Not getting it. Night sky and clouds? Okay?
Not getting it. Night sky and clouds? Okay?
Kim Kardashian in Balenciaga.
She and Billie Eilish traded plans/outfits for the evening? She couldn't find an American designer? Or American-made bedsheets?
She and Billie Eilish traded plans/outfits for the evening? She couldn't find an American designer? Or American-made bedsheets?
Erykah Badu in Thom Browne.
It's Badu. -hand wave- At first glance I thought the dachshund was a gun and that would have been more appropriate for the American experience/influence.
In fact everyone should be carrying assault rifles.
It's Badu. -hand wave- At first glance I thought the dachshund was a gun and that would have been more appropriate for the American experience/influence.
In fact everyone should be carrying assault rifles.
Sienna Miller in Gucci, Hamish Bowles in Thom Browne, and Emily Blunt in Miu Miu. Enjoying Hamish's Statue of Liberty hair.
Blunt is supposed to be a tribute to the Ziegfeld Follies. I'm not seeing it, but okay. Needs some fans. Like ostrich feather fans, not people fawning over her.
And another break.
Another hour, and I'm out for a while, I have stuff today.
Tory Burch, no details. I like it. I don't know what it has to do with anything, but it works. Great optical illusion with the lines. THAT'S how you do stripes.
Tory Burch, no details. I like it. I don't know what it has to do with anything, but it works. Great optical illusion with the lines. THAT'S how you do stripes.
Lil Baby in black, but he wore buttons like a Friday's waitperson, that's American style, right?
I won't start on Christianity and America. We'll be here all day and everyone will block me.
Frank Ocean in Prada x Homer with a doll.
JustinTimberlakeStaring.gif
JustinTimberlakeStaring.gif
Kacey Musgraves in Ralph Lauren.
I was wondering what in fuck with the boots, but then I saw Ralph Laruen. He dressed her as well as he dresses the Olympics teams. Not even the liquid organdy can save it.
I was wondering what in fuck with the boots, but then I saw Ralph Laruen. He dressed her as well as he dresses the Olympics teams. Not even the liquid organdy can save it.
Olivia Rodrigo in Saint Laurent. Oh good, a nude CATSUIT. That's better.
I want to know about the dress behind her.
I want to know about the dress behind her.
Teyana Taylor in Prabal Gurung.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Every comment I've got on that is offensive to someone who doesn't deserve it.
And these two assholes.
Lourdes Leon. Another tribute to Cher? Or Bollywood? Both? Both are worthy.
Will Welch. Someone got the memo on patchwork, quilting, and samplers. Also logos. haha. Nice.
Jennifer Lopez in Ralph Lauren. Fucking Ralph. And that fucking hat. And the fucking belt. And fur. Yeah, dead animals is American.
Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz.
THE BROOCH GOES ON THE LAPEL, JFC.
THE BROOCH GOES ON THE LAPEL, JFC.
Can I see something good, please?
Here we are. Audra McDonald in Sergio Hudson. Very nice. I like the bracelets. I wonder if the shirt comes off when it gets hot on the dance floor?
Diane Kruger in Prabal Gurung who should have known not to put a white chick in that color. Good gods.
And since when are hose from the Tudor era American? Trunk hose? Is that what they are? Or do those need socks.
WHERE'S THE CODPIECE?
And since when are hose from the Tudor era American? Trunk hose? Is that what they are? Or do those need socks.
WHERE'S THE CODPIECE?
Aha! It was Lupita.
Lupita Nyong'o in Versace. The denim's the obvious choice, probably the first time anyone at Versace touched denim, haha, no, wait, Gianni played with it in the 80s. Anyway. Awesome. I love her hair.
Lupita Nyong'o in Versace. The denim's the obvious choice, probably the first time anyone at Versace touched denim, haha, no, wait, Gianni played with it in the 80s. Anyway. Awesome. I love her hair.
Taika Waititi and Rita Ora in Prada.
Dude. DUDE. Points for the diamond and all, but I can see the fold lines. Come on. Your hotel will steam it for you!
That's the best Rita's looked in ages.
Dude. DUDE. Points for the diamond and all, but I can see the fold lines. Come on. Your hotel will steam it for you!
That's the best Rita's looked in ages.
Symone. I think this is a tribute to Motown, Tina Turner, and all the other women who sang and danced. Great color, looks fabulous.
Sienna Miller trying for a Daisy Buchannan look. It works. Kinda blurgh, but I'm learning to tolerate it.
Tyler Mitchell as major league baseball, that's sure as hell American, good choice. I'm indifferent, but at least he stuck to the damn theme.
Gabrielle Union in Iris van Herpen. -hand wave- She's a fashion nerd. And this is an original, as in never gone down a runway. Specific to her.
Maria Sharapova in Gabriela Hearst. Give her a sword and she'd look kind of like an Oscar.
Taylor Hill in Versace. Sneaking out very late/early in the morning wrapped in a sheet after a very fun night, totally all-American. Definitely.
Gemma Chan in Prabal Gurung. I like that some people remembered Gurung is a naturalized citizen. This isn't one of his greatest efforts, but it's not bad. The butt cape would be better in a different color.
Mindy Kaling in Tory Burch. Lovely as always. Fabulous earrings, wish we got a necklace with them. But still. Better than a whole lot of other tries.
Tomi Adeyemi and Giveon. I remember this gown, I think it was Valentino? It was boob-crushing on the model, too. Points for masks and not black.
Juan David Borrero and Jasmine Tookes, in blue, not black. Meh. It's okay.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in Brother Vellies and Aurora James. The gown says "Tax the Rich" which sounds American to me.
Amandla Stenberg in Thom Browne.
It's Thom Browne. -nodding- Yep. That's an outfit.
It's Thom Browne. -nodding- Yep. That's an outfit.
Cynthia Erivo, looks fierce, as always. No idea how that haltar is staying on, but respect.
Imaan Hammam. More fun than the usual nude gown. I'm impressed they got the star and her navel lined up.
Pete Davidson in a dress. The garnet necklace you can't see is in remembrance of 9-11 losses.
Ciara in a sequined copy of her husband's football jersey, she's apparently also wearing a Superbowl ring. And the football is a purse. 'Murica!
Meghan Fox. Red's American? Should I say something ghoulish about the military complex and spilled blood here? No, that would be rude, right?
Anyway, it's not nude, good work.
Anyway, it's not nude, good work.
Chloe and Halle Bailey in Rodarte. Of course, Rodarte. The pink looks like a gogo dancer, white's a wedding gown.
I don't know.
That's a lot of fringe. Maybe Tina Turner homage fringe?
I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a lot of fringe. Maybe Tina Turner homage fringe?
I don't know.
The back end of Claire Danes in Prabal Gurung... I like the ear thing.
Dominic Cooper in not black. Hooray!
And athletic shoes, very American.
Gillian Anderson in Gabriela Hearst. Not flattering. Yikes. Someone get Hearst some fitting lessons.
Donatella Versace, who, yeah. She's... doing better.
Maluma in Versace doing an Italian cowboy imitation. Thanks to spaghetti westerns, it's better than the French/Chanel version of cowboys, anyway. Barely. Thank Vionnet for small favors.
Lorde in Bode, imitating an Italian saint or... I don't even know. I think she's holding a bag and the end of the train? ? ??
Corey Gamble and Kris Jenner in Tom Ford. She in her inevitable black suit, carrying a ball and chain, representing what she is to her children. He looks okay, nice color with the shirt, and texture with the jacket.
Chloe Fineman in Tory Burch. Love the gown though I'm not sure why. She looks great.
And we're at 100, I'm knocking off until later.
Mary J. Blige in Dundas, looking fabulous.
Mary J. Blige in Dundas, looking fabulous.
Sooo, who's next... Irina Shayk in Moschino. Men and others who don't dress up, if you ever wondered what basic, unfitted boning/underpinning looks like, there it is.
Imagine if they'd just slapped some sheet on there, THEN put the flowers on.
Imagine if they'd just slapped some sheet on there, THEN put the flowers on.
Jeremy O. Harris in Tommy Hilfiger. That is VERY yellow... not sure what's going on here other than foul weather gear... but it's yellow, whatever's happening.
So yellow.
So yellow.
Virgil Abloh, in a little of everything... pretty sure there's not a kitchen sink, the hat doesn't double as a sink does it?
The gloves have clouds on them, I think. I'm so confused.
The gloves have clouds on them, I think. I'm so confused.
If he'd air-brushed some flames on there, that'd be classic Americana.
I wonder if someone's got a cat tie, wither the tail moves back and forth like a pendulum?
I wonder if someone's got a cat tie, wither the tail moves back and forth like a pendulum?
Megan Rapinoe in Sergio Hudson. This isn't bad for an America suit. Some of the men should take lessons. The purse is a nice touch.
Precious Lee in Area. Deliberately oversized and possibly fake-boobed, did she miss Camp Night? I've got no idea what's going on here.
Solid necklace though, I think it's Messika.
Solid necklace though, I think it's Messika.
Anok Yai in Oscar de la Renta. Not sure what it has to do with the theme - fireworks? stars? - but she looks fabulous and remembered a necklace so I'm fine with it. Good look. Bravo.
Addison Rae in Tom Ford. That hook and eye closer needs to be two inches shorter or she needs to be two inches longer through the torso. If it were fixed, it'd probably look good, the pleats are an interesting idea.
Tracee Ellis Ross in Balenciaga Couture.
Just a sparkly necklace? Please??
She looks fine, the color's great on her. The fit's so loose who can tell, but that works all right, too.
Just a sparkly necklace? Please??
She looks fine, the color's great on her. The fit's so loose who can tell, but that works all right, too.
Ayesha Curry and Stephen Curry. Love the jacket. If you've gotta wear black, there you go.
The gown, up a cup size.
How do so many of these people spend so much time on body maintenance and then not get things that fit? WHY?
The gown, up a cup size.
How do so many of these people spend so much time on body maintenance and then not get things that fit? WHY?
I hope I'm not seeing as much as I thing I'm seeing with that dress.
Nikkie de Jager, ALMOST a beauty queen look. Come on, if we're doing America, we need a pageant winner somewhere.
Love the color on her, it's perfect for her.
Love the color on her, it's perfect for her.
Karlie Kloss and Wes Gordon. Karlie wants the world to know the red rose is the flower of AMERICA, everyone.
Wes, put on some goddamn socks. If you're gonna dress like a boring stooge, dress like a boring stooge. You wanna go without socks, put on some color.
Wes, put on some goddamn socks. If you're gonna dress like a boring stooge, dress like a boring stooge. You wanna go without socks, put on some color.
Zoey Deutch in Versace.
Versace sends so much stuff out the door with the boobs not fitting. I have Theories on that, but whatever the reason, they need to knock it the hell off.
Versace sends so much stuff out the door with the boobs not fitting. I have Theories on that, but whatever the reason, they need to knock it the hell off.
Madison Beer in One/Of by Patricia Voto.
Maybe this year's motto should have been Go Up A Cup Size And Fix The Underwires.
Cute optical illusion with the fabric and the flowers, but ouch, the boobs.
Maybe this year's motto should have been Go Up A Cup Size And Fix The Underwires.
Cute optical illusion with the fabric and the flowers, but ouch, the boobs.
Eiza González in Versace. Wow. They NAILED that one. Don't know what in hell it's got to do with the theme, but the dress is perfection.
Elliot Page, who put on his dad's tux and thought he was going to Homecoming. Does he have permission to be out this late?
Zac Posen in Tom Ford and Debbie Harry in Zac Posen.
I'm VERY glad that Posen's back (and okay), and I get they were going for punk here, but just... more flag on the bottom? It looks like rags. I know, I know, punk, I was there. But it's too much and not enough.
I'm VERY glad that Posen's back (and okay), and I get they were going for punk here, but just... more flag on the bottom? It looks like rags. I know, I know, punk, I was there. But it's too much and not enough.
Ben Platt in Christian Cowan. I don't know what's with the pose were people are reaching for their gonads, but it needs to stop. (Pregnant people get a pass.)
It's not black. One point.
It's not black. One point.
Kim Petras in Collina Strada.
I absolutely am NOT interested in seeing someone else's pony games. Keep it behind closed doors for the love of god.
I absolutely am NOT interested in seeing someone else's pony games. Keep it behind closed doors for the love of god.
Kit Harington and Rose Leslie. Not enough color, and too much.
GET A NECKLACE! Fake is fine!
GET A NECKLACE! Fake is fine!
Mj Rodriguez in Thom Browne.
Only with Browne do we get a train that doubles as a lamp shade. I had this night once in the 80s.
Only with Browne do we get a train that doubles as a lamp shade. I had this night once in the 80s.
Samantha Barry.
Okay then.
Okay then.
Megan Thee Stallion in Coach. Glamour looks really good on her.
Jesus H, it's Iman. SERIOUSLY? Okay. Adjusting my reality, give me a minute. Gown by Harris Reed.
She said she was trying to bring a return to light after all the blah of the plague. And I think if she lost that damn hoop skirt she'd look like a goddess come to earth.
She said she was trying to bring a return to light after all the blah of the plague. And I think if she lost that damn hoop skirt she'd look like a goddess come to earth.
Storm Reid in Prada. I have no idea what's going on here, but it's cute. Hope she doesn't die of heat stroke; with luck the skirt is removeable.
Jordan Roth in Michael Sylvan Robinson.
I hope he trips on that train all night.
I hope he trips on that train all night.
Dr. Lisa Airan.
Great earrings, though!
Great earrings, though!
Okay, I've hit the wall. Last fifty-odd looks tomorrow.
Valentina Sampaio in Iris Van Herpen. That's what was going on behind the kid up thread in the pink half-skirt of feathers.
Anyway, yes. It's from one of IVH's water/flame collections and pretty cool, not that you can tell here.
Anyway, yes. It's from one of IVH's water/flame collections and pretty cool, not that you can tell here.
Grimes also in Iris van Herpen, that allegedly took 900 hours to complete, but I'm giving that the side eye unless we're counting hours of computer printing in with it.
If she really wanted to represent violence in the US she should have dressed as a cop and brought a gun
If she really wanted to represent violence in the US she should have dressed as a cop and brought a gun
Jennifer Hudson in AZ Factory.
Looks fabulous. She always looks fabulous. She knows how to dress.
Looks fabulous. She always looks fabulous. She knows how to dress.
Serena Williams in Gucci. I'm not sure what's going on here, though I see reddish stars on the silver, so okay? I hope for her sake all those feathers come off once she's inside. It's a fantastic cape. It's also the insulating equivalent of a feather bed.
Cordae Dunston and Naomi Osaka in Louis Vuitton. The hair and gown are supposed to represent her Japanese heritage, which is fine, but she should have gotten some of LV's jewelry to go with. His outfit is just blurgh.
Laura Mulleavy and Kate Mulleavy. A couch and a funeral. People. If you're pregnant? Do not swathe yourself in prints like this.
Great earrings, though.
Great earrings, though.
Amy Fine Collins in Thom Browne.
Okay.
Okay.
Thom Browne right now, I'm just
Finneas in Givenchy. Interesting closure on the jacket, looks like a necklace, and it's not black.
Okay. Sure. Pass.
Okay. Sure. Pass.
Lil Nas X in Versace. He claimed later this wasn't his 'final form'. But before this, we had
Lil Nas X in Versace. I like to think he jumped and when he hit the floor it all clattered off in a million pieces, but before this, he wandered in, in
Lil Nas X in Versace.
Ana Wintour's gonna have to start limiting performance time on the non-red carpet.
Ana Wintour's gonna have to start limiting performance time on the non-red carpet.
Troye Sivan in Altu. Puts on a dress and it's still black. -heavy sigh- Okay then.
Yara Shahidi in Christian Dior, this is supposed to be a salute to Josephine Baker who actually wore Vionnet, even to dance in, but okay.
Chance the Rapper and Kirsten Corley in Ralph Lauren. Someone can tell me what sport he's referencing here but I think it's the Olympics, and that dress should have an award for most boring of the night. Great fit, though.
Adrienne Warren in Dundas. No idea what the dress has to do with anything... I don't think we started the cutouts? But she looks fabulous, so she's still ahead of the game.
Billie Eilish in Oscar de la Renta.
Two years ago this kid - she's 19 - was wearing hats and VEILS and PJs because the media creeped her out. Now she's wearing this. I hope to hell it's her decision and not some stylist wanting fame.
Two years ago this kid - she's 19 - was wearing hats and VEILS and PJs because the media creeped her out. Now she's wearing this. I hope to hell it's her decision and not some stylist wanting fame.
Saweetie in Christian Cowan. The two trains are a Philippines flag and a black US flag, joining to her to represent her mixed cultural heritage.
We've had a double sided tape vs super glue debate going in comments for days.
Super glue.
We've had a double sided tape vs super glue debate going in comments for days.
Super glue.
Rebecca Hall representing every servant in the American Lexicon, in pleather and calico by Batsheva.
Good Christ.
Good Christ.
Barbie Ferreira in Jonathan Simkhai.
Cultured pearls are Japanese, so I don't see what we're representing here, but it fits well and she looks good so let's just roll with it.
Cultured pearls are Japanese, so I don't see what we're representing here, but it fits well and she looks good so let's just roll with it.
Adrian Brody in FOR CHRIT'S SAKE YOU'RE AT THE MET GALA, ACT LIKE IT.
Georgina Chapman in Marchesa. Is Marchesa still around? I know we hate them, but they're good, damn them.
Anyway, good dress. See how you can get the mystery with some colored netting, and it still feels provocative? You can do that!
Anyway, good dress. See how you can get the mystery with some colored netting, and it still feels provocative? You can do that!
Actually, there's the American Lexicon at work. That's something we invented, the nude dress.
Dear god. For the extremely new here, I did a history... this week? Last weekend? Something.
Dear god. For the extremely new here, I did a history... this week? Last weekend? Something.
https://twitter.com/JulieTheCranky/status/1437487657815318528
Evan Mock in Thom Browne.
Maisie Williams in Reuben Selby.
Rule one. Never let your boyfriend dress you.
It's supposedly inspired by the Matrix, and she's a fashion nerd.
Still no. I love most of what she does, but this? No.
Rule one. Never let your boyfriend dress you.
It's supposedly inspired by the Matrix, and she's a fashion nerd.
Still no. I love most of what she does, but this? No.
Ella Emhoff in Adidas by Stella McCartney. She's a fashion nerd (she's in design school FFS), she wore COMFORTABLE clothes to a major networking party, and she wore sportswear/streetwear, America's niche in the market.
Julia Garner in Stella McCartney.
She looks like a Barbie doll. There it is, the 'lexicon'. (Wintour is so damn snooty.)
I don't know what that pose is but it's annoying the shit out of me.
She looks like a Barbie doll. There it is, the 'lexicon'. (Wintour is so damn snooty.)
I don't know what that pose is but it's annoying the shit out of me.
Nia Dennis in Stella McCartney. Damn near the same dress, different color and body suits underneath.
Whatever. I've been worn down. I don't care any more. Frolic naked, just get a necklace.
Whatever. I've been worn down. I don't care any more. Frolic naked, just get a necklace.
JR in kiss my entire ass.
Amanda Gorman in Vera Wang. This is the Poet Laureate, with laurel in her hair. Nice touch. Color's great on her. She always looks fantastic.
Dan Levy in Loewe. First, return to my commentary on street style. Also, the shirt is based on art by David Wojnarowicz, who died of AIDS and that's damn well part of America that doesn't get remembered enough.
And I'd wear those boots forever. Good work, Mr Levy.
And I'd wear those boots forever. Good work, Mr Levy.
Wondering if the literally global aspect of the suit is about inclusiveness or colonialism or growing violence against immigrants. Possibly all of those. Either way it's another nice detail.
Julia Carey and James Corden in Gucci.
Spouses get a pass, this isn't their gig.
Corden gets my boot up his ass, come the fuck on, it's the goddamn Met Gala and you can't even get a tux that fits?
Spouses get a pass, this isn't their gig.
Corden gets my boot up his ass, come the fuck on, it's the goddamn Met Gala and you can't even get a tux that fits?
Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz in Valentino.
THIS AIN'T PROM AND YOUR MOMMA COULD DRESS YOU BETTER.
THIS AIN'T PROM AND YOUR MOMMA COULD DRESS YOU BETTER.
Leon Bridges in Bode. Possibly the first valid Western outfit of the night, I hope it's a tribute to Buffalo Soldiers and all the enslaved people who went west when they were freed.
Timothée Chalamet in Haider Ackermann, Rick Owens, and Converse. His nod for the night was sweat pants and Chuckie Ts.
Kiss my derriere, Tim.
Kiss my derriere, Tim.
Eva Chen in Christopher John Rogers.
CJR is a guy who started from nothing and worked out of his apartment in Brooklyn for years, so she's wearing the American Lexicon.
CJR is a guy who started from nothing and worked out of his apartment in Brooklyn for years, so she's wearing the American Lexicon.
Tom Ford in Tom Ford.
I believe the quote is "eat my ass and choke on it." THE BLACKS DON'T EVEN MATCH, YOU TWIT.
I believe the quote is "eat my ass and choke on it." THE BLACKS DON'T EVEN MATCH, YOU TWIT.
Carolyn B. Maloney, clearly showing remembrance for the suffragette movement, some of those colors represent the UK too.
The GOP passed up this to scream about 'tax the rich' on AOC. You see who they're afraid of.
The GOP passed up this to scream about 'tax the rich' on AOC. You see who they're afraid of.
Heron Preston in Tom Ford.
Considering writing a letter to Ana Wintour, begging that men showing up in tuxes like this be sent home again to change.
Considering writing a letter to Ana Wintour, begging that men showing up in tuxes like this be sent home again to change.
Charlie Shaffer and Elizabeth Shaffer in Carolina Herrera.
Ken and Barbie go to a ball.
KID: Mom, you're grinding your teeth again.
Ken and Barbie go to a ball.
KID: Mom, you're grinding your teeth again.
Adam Mosseri and Monica Mosseri in COLORS. Thank you.
Not sure what in hell's with that bodice, it's not Deconstructed Night, but I'm so happy with the suit, let's just blame it on whoever the designer was.
Not sure what in hell's with that bodice, it's not Deconstructed Night, but I'm so happy with the suit, let's just blame it on whoever the designer was.
Bee Carrozzini in Valentino.
Okay.
I mean, that's it. It's okay.
Okay.
I mean, that's it. It's okay.
Emma Chamberlain in Louis Vuitton.
...no. There's asymmetry, and then there's this. Just no.
...no. There's asymmetry, and then there's this. Just no.
Sophia Roe in Halston. And this has got to be another tribute because Halston died of AIDS in 1990. He dressed a lot of famous people in his day and I hope somewhere he's laughing that his clothes are still going to the Met Gala.
Rachel Smith in look-how-wide-I-am stripes. -sigh- No. No bunched ruffles, no horizontal stripes. Give me a razor blade, line it in something, and we'll have a great gown in ten minutes.
Though she did wear jewelry, thanks for that.
Though she did wear jewelry, thanks for that.
Nia Dennis in Stella McCartney, and a marching band.
She was doing backflips and stuff, I RTed a short vid last night, if you can find it. She looks lovely, but then she's ripped and lovely, so go figure.
She was doing backflips and stuff, I RTed a short vid last night, if you can find it. She looks lovely, but then she's ripped and lovely, so go figure.
Keke Palmer in Sergio Hudson.
It's fine. She looks good, it fits. It's boring, but that happens. Still better than half the looks.
It's fine. She looks good, it fits. It's boring, but that happens. Still better than half the looks.
Ilana Glazer in Aliette. The dress is cool, I like how it's made, all the little pieces, layered for different levels of transparency. The feathers on the sleeves and the hair make me think of the Queen Mum, but the Queen Mum was a fashion plate.
And this concludes what coverage I've got, we're outa here.
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