Thread by @AutSciPerson

Cis people, read this.

CW cancer

My granddad is (slowly) dying of cancer.
The last interaction I had with him via email, I wished him a happy birthday. I used my name that I had just picked out a few weeks prior.

He deadnamed me and said I'd always be his daughter.
1/6

When I told my "supportive" family about it, I was told that "I'm sure it was out of love." As if that's.. okay? They're old so it's.. okay?

That email broke me for at least 2 weeks. It took up my brain space.

My family later told me that he's good with it now..
2/6

I get cards from my grandma with my correct name. She seems supportive still. I do not expect them to correctly gender me.

My granddad's cancer is likely getting worse.

I've been told I should visit him in the next few months.
3/6

If I go I have a feeling I will hear my deadname. I will hear "daughter" & lots of she/hers (my family is terrible with they/them even though they're "liberals" - I had to explain because I'm nonbinary, they shouldn't be calling me "daughter" - they didn't understand that)
4/6

So I literally have to weigh my mental health and whether I should see my granddad in person again.

Is it worth it?
Will it make me feel better, or will it make my most recent memories of him even worse?
Will I regret it?
I know I will fawn.
5/6

These are the things I thought about today when students continued to misgender me.

Words hurt.
6/6

https://twitter.com/AutSciPerson/status/1443614084273000452?s=20