Cis people, read this.

CW cancer

My granddad is (slowly) dying of cancer.
The last interaction I had with him via email, I wished him a happy birthday. I used my name that I had just picked out a few weeks prior.

He deadnamed me and said I'd always be his daughter.
1/6
When I told my "supportive" family about it, I was told that "I'm sure it was out of love." As if that's.. okay? They're old so it's.. okay?

That email broke me for at least 2 weeks. It took up my brain space.

My family later told me that he's good with it now..
2/6
I get cards from my grandma with my correct name. She seems supportive still. I do not expect them to correctly gender me.

My granddad's cancer is likely getting worse.

I've been told I should visit him in the next few months.
3/6
If I go I have a feeling I will hear my deadname. I will hear "daughter" & lots of she/hers (my family is terrible with they/them even though they're "liberals" - I had to explain because I'm nonbinary, they shouldn't be calling me "daughter" - they didn't understand that)
4/6
So I literally have to weigh my mental health and whether I should see my granddad in person again.

Is it worth it?
Will it make me feel better, or will it make my most recent memories of him even worse?
Will I regret it?
I know I will fawn.
5/6
These are the things I thought about today when students continued to misgender me.

Words hurt.
6/6

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More from @AutSciPerson

2 Oct
Anyone else just ever need a demand break?

Yes I'm making up a term.

1/13
I'll give you an example:

One day recently, I woke up, mostly awake, and I laid in bed for 3 hours afterwards.

I wasn't even comfortable. I was on my phone on twitter. But I just didn't want to Do All The Things.

2/13
What are all the things?

Sitting up
Getting dressed
Deciding on breakfast
Getting a bowl
Putting it on a desk
Eating the food
Thinking about work
Being anxious about work
Trying to motivate myself to work
Finding a podcast or music to listen to

3/13
Read 19 tweets
2 Oct
An autistic person commented about the autistic burnout post I wrote

that they thought they were "faking it"

and I just think that entire comment encompasses what it is like to be autistic in this world.
You have been told so many times that X/Y/Z shouldn't bother you, or that you're a hypochondriac, or that you're [insert assumption here] that it's so easy to just believe it and tell it to yourself over and over.

Society conditions autistic people to gaslight ourselves.
The 6 months before I had an "official" autism diagnosis but knew from all the research I did I was probably autistic,

I just kept telling myself "Well you're just too anxious, people say you're a hypochondriac, you're just looking for something to be special about you!"
Read 4 tweets
2 Oct
This tweet is asking the wrong question.

The question should be,

"Why did cis white non-autistic researchers create absurd diagnostic criteria off of autistic cis white boys and literally no other demographic while equating autism to behavior?"
It's fine to talk about a specific demographic (and I don't have access to the article),

But focusing on cis white autistic women as a "why are they going under the radar narrative" continues to erase autistic people of color and LGBTQ+ autistic people.
I just don't see any other articles that are going to be getting as much coverage that say
"Transgender people and autism: Why are there so many new diagnoses?"

or

"People of color and autism: Why are there so many new diagnoses?"
Read 6 tweets
29 Sep
Misgendering - 10
Ira - 0

I think cis women are actually the worst when it comes to using my correct pronouns. Ugh.

No matter what I do they will do it.

It's like they don't think it hurts anyone, or that it's wrong, or that it's unhelpful, or that it's dysphoria-causing.
I think if I don't physically tell them to use my correct pronouns every second I interact with them, they're entitled to misgender me.

They're not. 🙃

Deadnamed by my advisor for 4 months.
Misgendered by faculty I TA for for entire semester.
Misgendered by students all last semester and this semester. It just continues.

They don't give a shit.

You have to be grateful, charismatic, charming, "nice" about it, for them to care 1 ounce. You have to allow them to misgender you 20 times and never correct them.
Read 17 tweets
29 Sep
I don't think neurotypical people will ever be able to fully accommodate autistic people

until society teaches all children (and adults) that brains are not all the same,

and the person they are talking to isn't always going to experience the world the same way they do.
It seems like projection ("This is what I would want so therefore you must want this too..") is one of the biggest barriers to neurotypical people accommodating autistic people.

It's subconscious processing imo.

It's just that we had to learn that it doesn't work the hard way.
By we had to learn the hard way -

Autistic person: Tries to do something they think would be nice to another person.

Neurotypical person: "The world doesn't revolve around you."
"Can you just shutup for one second?"
"Why can't you just say okay?"
"Do you mind?"
Read 5 tweets
28 Sep
I'm so tired of non-autistic people co-opting the autistic experience.

No, autistic stress is not the same as non-autistic stress.

Let me show you why:
Unless you have a specific related disability, you don't have difficulty physically speaking when only "mildly" stressed.

1/7
Unless you have a specific related disability, you don't have trouble with executive function to obtain food when only "mildly" stressed.

Unless you have a specific related disability, you don't have 0 appetite or nausea when only "mildly" stressed.
2/7
Unless you have a specific related disability, you don't have sensory pain to sounds, lights, smells, processing speech when only "mildly" stressed.

Unless you have a specific related disability, you don't have difficulty making NT facial expressions when "mildly" stressed.
3/7
Read 8 tweets

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