Thread by @amiranafqh

it's #WorldMentalHealthDay , thought I'd share a lil bit abt my journey 🥰

TW: DEPRESSION | RAPE | SUICIDE | SELF HARM

Symptoms started in 2016, trauma resurfaced due to triggers from abusive boyfriend and an encounter with one of my rapists.

started having re-enactment of the

incident through nightmares and flashbacks.

tried to cope with the pain through self harming almost everyday for 18 months before ending up with a suicide attempt in 2017. scars are still obvious up till this day

symptoms was on and off for awhile cs i was in a long distance relationship back then, found new friends, used sports and dancing to cope.

ended up being backstabbed in late 2018, lost all interest in everything

tried leaving my parents house to get some peace of mind, didn't work. the breakup was probably the only best thing that happened at the time. multiple lapses lead to a major relapse in early February where i almost jumped off the hostel building

finally gave in and went to the psychiatrist for treatment. diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Mild Anxiety in February 2019. changed meds thrice from escitalopram to sertraline to mirtazapine.

met Rujhan in April, failed 3 semesters while trying to recover. multiple trips to the hospital due to overdoses.

Rujhan tried different methods of grounding for the panic attacks and nightmares. thankfully it works. Defaulted meds and appointment in Oct 2019 after an overdose

2020, no recollection of memories bcs of MCO. literally only remember the wedding, the mini honeymoon, my birthday and new year's eve.

suicidal thoughts and panic attacks was on and off throughout the year,multiple "wrestling" sessions with Rujhan due to outbursts and breakdowns

got pregnant in March 2021. instructed by gynae to revisit psychiatrist. kept putting it off thinking i could handle it on my own until extreme stress caused preterm labor at 25 weeks (July 2021)

started seeing psychiatrist again. rediagnosed with MDD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Panic Attacks. had to start taking sertraline again bcs now my risk for Postpartum Depression has gotten higher.

It's day 13 since i started sertraline and i'm recovering 😚

I'm a 24yo activist on sexual abuse and women's rights, soon to be mother, an accounting graduate and a wife.

I am fighting mental illnesses with the help of medications, therapy and family for almost 5 years now and I'm not ashamed of it.

#WorldMentalHealthDay