In the spirit of normalizing burnout and encouraging breaks in #academia and #parenting, I’m happy to share that my husband and I have taken 4 days off to escape all of our responsibilities. We’re doing a hotel staycation and it has been bliss. But reactions have been…mixed. 🧵
For the most part people have been cool, but there have also been a lot of passive-aggressive, guilt-inducing comments like, “How do you have the time for that”, “My kids would lose their shit if I left for that long”, “I wish I could do that but I have way too much work”.
These kinds of thoughts and comments are what has sustained a culture of performative overwork in both of these domains for way too long. Breaks and rest boost productivity over the long term, and you can’t do quality scholarship or parenting if you’re exhausted and checked out.
And, more importantly, rest helps you to re-evaluate priorities and experience some peace and joy. You get to turn your other senses back on. It’s amazing how much little pockets of rest with good food and fresh air can be great opportunities for resets and fresh starts.
Even just not having to sit/stand at a desk staring at a screen all day is liberating and a relief. Add to that NO EMAIL, sleeping in, exercise/yoga/walks, reading for fun, movies, video games, room service, whatever your jam is, and all of a sudden you feel awake again.
It’s super hard to shake old habits, and it’s only recently that I’ve embraced chilling out and not compulsively overworking. Being able to take restorative breaks is a huge privilege, but it’s also a skill that you need to practice and feels wrong and self-sabotaging at first.
Work/rest attitudes travel through personal and academic families. I used to worry when my first PhD student, the brilliant Joyce He ♥️, took a weekend or week fully off from work, because it was so far from my internalized image of what success looks like in grad school.
Seeing her excel despite and BECAUSE of her healthy attitude toward work and rest helped me so much on my own journey to chilling the F out. Now (I like to think) I’m modelling a much healthier rest:work example for my students and kids.
So, take your breaks, get a #selfcare/recovery support group (mine are people like Joyce, @GrushaAgarwal, @page_gould, @alyson_colon, @nevena_sim 🥰😘), block out the work police, and don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thing! Now back to my nap and room service!! 😴💙
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