THREAD: In case you all weren't aware exactly how big of a nerd I am, I present to you - D&D Classes (5e) as kinds of lawyers!
The disclaimer: I am a criminal defence lawyer. I only do criminal defence, so my perspective is limited to that. Also, this is a joke.
Quotes are from the class descriptions in the Player's Handbook!
Paladin: Crown Prosecutor
- answerable to the highest authority
- bound by a very strict code of conduct
- righteous and held to high standards
- answerable to the highest authority
- bound by a very strict code of conduct
- righteous and held to high standards
Wizard: Policy/Legislation
- would rather deal with books and texts than people
- very concerned with the fine details of how things work
- would rather deal with books and texts than people
- very concerned with the fine details of how things work
Rogue: Civil Litigation
- can make your money THEIR money
- will help you get what's owed to you
- most problems are solved by a "transfer" of resources
- can make your money THEIR money
- will help you get what's owed to you
- most problems are solved by a "transfer" of resources
Ranger: Criminal Defence
- has a single "favoured enemy"
- very comfortable at the margins of society
- good at waiting for the right moment to strike
- has a single "favoured enemy"
- very comfortable at the margins of society
- good at waiting for the right moment to strike
Cleric: Family
- "a particular calling that isn't for everyone"
- will help you get support
- best at facilitating the healing process, but can bring the pain if needed
- "a particular calling that isn't for everyone"
- will help you get support
- best at facilitating the healing process, but can bring the pain if needed
Druid: Environmental/Indigenous ("Aboriginal")
- "often found guarding sacred sites or watching over regions of unspoiled nature"
- their abilities are tied to particular lands and geographies
- "often found guarding sacred sites or watching over regions of unspoiled nature"
- their abilities are tied to particular lands and geographies
Artificer: Intellectual Property/Patent
- less concerned with people, more concerned with technology and ideas
- inventive and on the cutting edge of new and shiny stuff
- less concerned with people, more concerned with technology and ideas
- inventive and on the cutting edge of new and shiny stuff
Fighter: General Practitioner
- "knows the basics of all the combat styles"
- great, versatile adventurer-for-hire
- "knows the basics of all the combat styles"
- great, versatile adventurer-for-hire
And finally, Barbarian: Human Rights/Labour
- the MOST worked up about injustice
- nothing more "primal" than basic human rights
- the most everyman
- the MOST worked up about injustice
- nothing more "primal" than basic human rights
- the most everyman
OMG I FORGOT ONE (the actual first one I thought of, too!):
Warlock: Corporate/Commercial
- abilities oriented around contracts and deals
- does all their work for entities significantly larger and more powerful than them
Warlock: Corporate/Commercial
- abilities oriented around contracts and deals
- does all their work for entities significantly larger and more powerful than them
And another!
Bard: Appellate
- knows their lore very well
- eloquent and convincing
- all about the performance
Bard: Appellate
- knows their lore very well
- eloquent and convincing
- all about the performance
Okay and one more:
Sorceror: Immigration/International
- the fruits of your labour are incredibly unpredictable
- extremely proficient in the arcane
Sorceror: Immigration/International
- the fruits of your labour are incredibly unpredictable
- extremely proficient in the arcane
Okay okay, the final class:
Monk: Judicial Clerk/Court Counsel
- learned their craft while cloistered with the old masters
- great focus
- a bit esoteric
Monk: Judicial Clerk/Court Counsel
- learned their craft while cloistered with the old masters
- great focus
- a bit esoteric
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
