You know how folks will start grilling any and everything when they’ve finished cooking their food but the grill is still real hot and they don’t want to waste a fire?! That’s how I am with a hot oven. LOLOL
Chile….you know I’m hot as fish grease my sweet potato pie split.
Tried the “pour over” method for my apple pie this time. Was nervous but it didn’t spill out.
I still gotta make apple cider doughnuts for my homie. Doing those tomorrow. I’m going to bed. LOL

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More from @CandiceBenbow

17 Oct
“Just because God ain’t talking to you about the problem doesn’t mean God ain’t working on an answer.”

That negro Dharius Daniels know he’s somebody’s (Baptist) preacher!

Sheesh! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
That dude said the children of Israel would’ve gotten there sooner if God didn’t have to talk Moses into his adequacy.

…the way I bout just cussed!!!!
Dharius just said, “don’t confuse the path with the place. You don’t go *to* the valley of the shadow of death—you go *through* it!” This morning, Pastor Parker said, “keep moving in the direction of your deliverance.”
Read 4 tweets
11 Oct
I agree. I’ve been reading the comments and messages I’ve received since I posted this.

Parents working through the emotions of setting such a boundary. Adult children working through the emotions of such a boundary needing to be set and the other parent not stepping up.
Honestly, I don’t think much of the conversation about unhealthy parents is helpful or productive these days. Too much of it is finger pointing and trying to determine which unhealthy parent is worse. How does that actually help?!
And I also think too many of us who had absent parents want to act like their absence didn’t affect us when it really did.

You can be a healthy, fully functioning adult and still have areas of your life impacted by an absent parent.

Several truths can exist at once.
Read 24 tweets
11 Oct
…made my smoothie this morning and bout cried. LOL

It’s been three weeks since Charlie came home and I still haven’t gotten back to my “normal” routine.
From trying to figure my new workout time (5am workouts are a wrap…thanks Charlie) to puppy-proofing my house to ensuring I spend enough time with him so he knows he’s safe (and can’t poop inside), I am EXHAUSTED!
…add to that, my office is currently in disarray because shelving and storage are being built. I feel like everything is ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Read 5 tweets
10 Oct
My dad was absent because, in the very beginning, he was inconsistent. I was a baby and in my toddler years and he was in and out. My mama set a boundary that she wasn’t going to allow him access to me if he wasn’t gon be consistent. Instead of stepping up, he disappeared.
I have no memories of him whatsoever. At one point, his aunt was my babysitter when I was a baby. I don’t even remember that, obviously.

When my mama set the boundary, he was out. He didn’t want the accountability of consistency. He also didn’t want her telling him what to do.
Of course his absence affected me. He was supposed to be in my life. We’re dishonest when we say a parent’s absence doesn’t have an impact. It does.

At the same time, my mother believed his absence in my life was better than his inconsistency. I respect that.
Read 7 tweets
9 Oct
I set a goal to lose 40 pounds before my 40th birthday. In addition to this dating detox, I’m also on a sugar fast. I’m down 16 pounds.

As a result, my third eye is open. And all it wants this morning is a pecan waffle. 🥴 🤣
In all seriousness, if you’re single and/or noticing a slight unhealthy relationship with sugar, I would really recommend doing the detox or the fast, or both.

I’m learning a lot about myself as a result of both of them.
I’m still using Wendy Speake’s 40-day sugar fast devotional and incorporated some other readings to make it culturally relevant and applicable for me.
Read 5 tweets
19 Aug
There are a lot of folks coming for deconstruction as of late. Deconstructing faith matters. Stop listening to those who seek to tell you deconstruction is all about finding ways to justify “sin”.
Be very clear: the critique of deconstruction is rooted in Whiteness, no matter who voices the critique. Deconstruction is about shifting the balance of power.
It has always been about enabling the most vulnerable and marginalized to draw closer to a God who values them as they are and readied the world for their survival and thriving.
Read 10 tweets

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