Thread by @katy_whitton

We haven't done one for a while so shall we have a #BriefingDrinkingGame for the #DowningStreetBriefing in a bit?

Let's try and guess the buzzwords

- Next Slide Please
- Plan B
- Personal Responsibility
- Save Christmas
- Protect the NHS
- Sports Analogy
- Jabs In Arms

[cont]

More #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing buzzwords

- Schools are safe
- World beating
- Something about Brexit and Vaccines
- Flu
- We're better than the EU
- Some really complicated looking graphs
- Probably blame Nightclubs for something

[cont]

Even more #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing Buzzwrods

- Something about Pubs to appease Weatherspoons
- NHS not under pressure
- R Number
- Blame the North of England for something
- Moan about Scotland, N. Ireland & Wales
- NHS doing a wonderful job

[cont]

I could go on with my #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing buzzwords but I don't have all day

Join me at 5pm to see what rubbish the government spews

We all know it will be our fault and the poor government is doing everything they can 🤡

#ToryCovidCatastrophe

We're off to our standard briefing beginning - it's been delayed!

One drink for every 5 minutes they are late starting

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Still no sign of the briefing starting. I'll be tipsy before they come on screen at this rate

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

TURN YOUR MIC ON

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

100,000 cases a day and he didn't even bat an eye lid?

- Thanks NHS

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

- Low death rate
- We're living it the virus
- NO PLAN B

FFS

#ToryCovidDisaster Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

UK Is brilliant at COVID 19

Yeah.... brilliant at spreading it

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

DEXAMATHASONE

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

GOVT have signed a deal for anti-virals...

Not approved by the MHRA yet and won't be ready until the summer?

Well that will help stop the NHS getting overwhelmed this winter, won't it?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

WINTER IS COMING

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

5 Million people are unvaxxed?

If they haven't got it by now I can't see them getting at all

JAB THE YOUNG PEOPLE (as it's all their fault probably)

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

We know that protection from the vaccine decreases over time

But you don't need to wear a mask I guess

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

AY4.2

Why can't they give it a catchier name, like Bob?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

4 million top up jabs

We need more people to have them

I AM NOT ELIGIBLE YOU MORON

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

- We're all in it together

- Get your flu jab (I AM NOT ELIGIBLE FOR THAT EITHER)

- FRESH AIR HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

You have asked people to do that for over 18 months... mate. No

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

- We all need to play our part

Okay, please tell the maskless morons in the shops that won't you @sajidjavid, I'm sure they will listen to you when they have ignored the advice since "freedom say"

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid The graph is showing almost the same number of cases when we were IN FULL LOCKDOWN

We are doomed

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid NEXT SLIDE PLEASE

I need this on a tee-shirt

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Cases increasing with no reduction - a steady increase

But we won't implement Plan B because we hate you all and don't care about you unless you're a rich Tory donor or can off the PM wallpaper or a villa to stay in

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Incomprehensible graph that doesn't make any sense whatsoever to anyone and will just look like a big blob if you are colourblind

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid To those of you tweeting #NoMoreLockdowns

You can all do one

#WearAMask #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Javid trying to explain why he's not mandating masks

- People must take responsibility
- Follow the guidance

WHAT IS THE GUIDANCE? There are so many mixed messages coming from different ministers

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid "If we need to take further measures..."

Yeah, you're not going to are you because you're a bunch of murdering wet wipes

I swear to goodness if he says he's following the science I will go over there and smack him

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Man not concerned with 220+ deaths a day but more concerned on whether he can hop on a Ryan Air flight for half-term

Wow. Priorities Jonathan. Read the room

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Javid: I have a lot of time for the NHS Confederation

Translation: I will do the opposite of what they recommend

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Javid: I don't think the pressure on the NHS is unsustainable

Why was my friend told to drive her unconscious husband to the hospital because there were no ambulances?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid Javid: I don't think the pressure on the NHS is unsustainable

Why is my sick dad having to wait 3 months for a PHONE CALL with his GP?

Why are there queues outside of A&E?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid - Flu season is probably going to be worse this year

Yes, especially if people aren't wearing masks

@sajidjavid Here he goes:

There are things the public can do

MATE, the ones who care already are doing these things, you need to sort out the ones who aren't but you're not are you?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid And they keep banging on about jabs

The people who wanted them got them

The people who want a booster are getting them

There are people who won't be eligible for a booster FOR MONTHS

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid "Take up the vaccine when offered"

If 5 million have been offered one but not got one by now, are they going to be persuaded by an ex-banker who looks like Shinzon in Star Trek: Nemsis

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid If you recorded this briefing and then editied out the word "vaccine", "jab" or "booster" then the whole thing would be three minutes long

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid "Get your booster"

I won't be elibiable for one until January - F Off

"Get your flu jab"

*IF* I were able to get an appointment how much would I have to shell out to pay for it? Looks like a minimum of 15 quid.

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid The government took away the £20 universal credit uplift but are expecting people to shell out £15 each for a flu jab?

They do realise not everyone can get one for free, right?

Bet @sajidjavid didn't pay for his own

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid I think they've wheeled Javid out to hold this briefing because his monotone voice makes us drowsy, that way we will ignore the fact what he said had no substance and offered no solutions to the problems we face

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid And they keep going back to these anti-virals

What happens if the MHRA doesn't approve them? Or approves them for use only in very specific cases?

There won't be much to crow about then, will there?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid HE IS THANKING THE S*N

Get in the bin Javid

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

@sajidjavid #DowningStreetBriefing with no mention of vaccines

"Winter is coming... People need to do more... Next slide please... NHS not under pressure... No to Plan B... Thanks to the S*n.... Blitz spirit"

Think that sums it up

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame

@sajidjavid "The public need to play their part"

The public:

(sorry it's from GBN3ws, it was the first one I found)

The government's reliance on the vaccine rollout is staggering to me

People are vaccinated & people are still getting sick

Just because they're not being hospitalised at the rate they were in January doesn't matter

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

HAND WASHING

Oh. My. Word

I think we're moved beyond that after 18 months, don't you?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

JABS IN ARMS

You couldn't make this sh!t up

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

They are just saying the same thing

If people haven't been vaccinated it's highly likely they won't now

If they stopped wearing a mask, they won't put one back on

TAKE SOME ACCOUNTABILITY, it's not all on us

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Winter winter winter

blah blah blah

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

"Pre-Covid days"

We're at that level now are we? Depressing

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Javid: We've set out Plan B

Translation: We've no plans to roll out Plan B as it will unduly affect our rich donors stock portfolios. We'll only implement it after a massive cock-up in order to make yet another embarrassing U-Turn

#BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Javid: I was told not to take any more questions?

Why is that? People pulling the strings getting worried the journalists might ask a hard hitting question that you'll be forced to actually give an answer to?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Would you buy a used car from this man?

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

As a reminder, Sajid Javid is an ex-banker who pulled in a 7 figure salary

He was accused of channelling money through a tax haven

It's alleged he was involved in the CDO market which helped cause the crash in 2008

Everybody drink! #BriefingDrinkingGame #DowningStreetBriefing

Well, thank you for joining me on our #BriefingDrinkingGame, I hope you had fun

The #DowningStreetBriefing was a lot of nothing with the general public being blamed and, as usual, the government taking no accountability for what's happening

Now, if you don't mind I'm going to have a little lie down. My drinking arm is sore from all the booze I downed due to the predictability of the briefing content

Cheers!🍻