How to Make Your Marriage Gayer: Many heterosexual couples would have happier and more satisfying marriages if they took a few lessons from their same-sex counterparts. nytimes.com/2020/02/13/opi… 1/5
Sharing domestic tasks is "an increasingly important component of marital stability, and lack of sharing an increasingly powerful predictor of conflict. […] the happiest and most sexually satisfied couples are now those who divide housework and child care the most equally.” 2/5
Compared to heterosexual couples, same-sex couples divide tasks less according to gender stereotypes, and are more likely to share the routine tasks. 3/5
In discussing disagreements with a partner, individuals in same-sex relationshps are less likely than those in heterosexual couples to do so in belligerent, domineering and fearful ways. And use more positive methods of influencing a partner, such as encouragement and praise. 4/5
Same sex couples are more likely than heterosexual couples to have explicit discussions of their sexual and intimate arrangements.
But… Gender socialisation also affects gay and lesbian couples… 5/5

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More from @MichaelGLFlood

29 Oct
Healthy masculinity? What qualities are part of a positive, healthy, ethical alternative to the forms of patriarchal masculinity that sustain gender inequalities and limit men’s and boys’ own lives? First, some background on masculinity… 1/16
‘Masculinity’ refers to the meanings given to be being male and the social organisation of boys’ and men’s lives and relations. So masculinity is part of identities, behaviours, interaction, peer cultures, media, and the formal and informal workings of institutions. 2/16
This definition of masculinity is open-ended. In any context, some versions of masculinity will be dominant – the most influential, given the most status. And these may be healthy or unhealthy, positive or negative. 3/16
Read 16 tweets
17 Oct
The Poison of Male Incivility: The degradation and dismissal of women — as disgusting, crazy, infantile, incompetent, irrational, and stupid — has been key to the building and maintenance of disproportionately male power in American political, economic, social, & sexual life 1/4
Powerful men’s “reduction of their would-be female peers — their ideological and electoral adversaries and competitors for power — has helped clear away potential impediment to their own professional trajectories.” 2/4
But this white male opportunism, whether in the form of aggressive insults or simple acceptance of systemic advantages that broad systemic disrespect of others affords them, is rarely examined as the kind of active force that it has always been. 3/4
Read 4 tweets
12 Oct
What Prime Minister Scott Morrison should tell the men of Australia
“I ask you to join me in acknowledging that – for too long – we have turned a blind eye, a deaf ear, and a cold heart to the unacceptable discrimination, harassment, and violence faced by Australian women." 1/5
“The vast majority of reported sexual assault and sexual harassment is perpetrated by men. Men who may be our dads, brothers, sons, mates, colleagues, and yes, even ourselves.
The responsibility lays squarely with men. With ALL of us.” 2/5
Listening and acknowledging "will not be an easy thing to do. It will be confronting, it will make us feel defensive, even angry.
We should not shy away from that discomfort. Weigh it against the very real trauma, exasperation, and justified anger of women in Australia" 3/5
Read 5 tweets
9 Oct
Violence against women: 6 problems with a focus on telling women how to maximise their own safety.
1) This fails to hold perpetrators accountable for their behaviour, and locates responsibility with the potential victims.
2) Women *already* use a multitude of such strategies. 1/4
3) It accepts that some men will use violence, rather than focusing on how to prevent and reduce this, and places the burden on women to police and limit their lives.
4) The strategies are false assurances. Women may ‘do everything right’ and still be assaulted.
2/4
5) The strategies typically focus on potential assaults on women by unknown men and in public places, whereas most assaults are by men known to the victim (boyfriends, husbands, male acquaintances, etc.) and in familiar locations. 3/4
Read 4 tweets
7 Sep
Sexual violence: It is comforting, but wrong, to think that only a tiny proportion of men ever commit sexual violence. Studies among men on US campuses find that anywhere from e.g. 1.6% in the last year to 25% by the end of 4th year in college have perpetrated sexual violence 1/4
International studies, similarly, find that significant proportions of men, from 2%, to 10%, to 51%, have ever used sexual violence against a woman. This survey (2011) finds that men’s lifetime reported use of SV was around 9% in most countries. icrw.org/publications/e… 2/4
So why do some men perpetrate sexual violence against women? Because of gender socialisation and gender inequalities, in particular. Because of sexual entitlement and gender-inequitable social norms. Authoritative review of scholarship on perpetration: xyonline.net/sites/xyonline… 3/4
Read 4 tweets
19 Aug
If feminist attention to men is to make a real contribution to progressive social change, 3 conditions must be met. Michael Flood on the ‘turn to men’ in gender politics and its implications. In full here: xyonline.net/content/turn-m… 1/7
1) Our vision of the problem and the solution must be much more robustly feminist. Squarely focused on the structural, material, and institutional dimensions of gender inequality, how men and masculinities are implicated in these, and thus the need for their transformation. 2/7
Efforts focused on men should involve a much more substantial call to action. They should set the bar high. They should expect that men will strive for gender-egalitarian identities, practices, and interpersonal relations and contribute to community action. 3/7
Read 7 tweets

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