Thread by @gathara

#BREAKING African agencies sound alarm over growing food shortages in global Northwest as September survey shows nearly 40% of people in politically troubled, ethnically divided, banana-exporting republic of US, a hotbed of Shite Christianist extremism, were depended on food aid.

#BREAKING Hunger in developing first world nations blamed on supply chain disruption as region's corrupt, incompetent regimes struggle to cope with disease, climate change and religious and political extremism, fueling discontent on Caucasian street and threatening stability.

#BREAKING Reclusive, tribally-divided, mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, which is battling separatist movements in tribal districts of Scotland and Northern Ireland, has been particularly hard-hit with empty supermarket shelves exacerbating long-running flavour crisis.

#BREAKING Southern diplomats say escalating maritime dispute with sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, Britain's main supplier of flavor, is worsening situation on the culinary desert island where many are now forced to survive on traditionally bland, teeth-rotting diet.

#BREAKING Global pop icon, Ben Githae, who is credited with focusing global attention to the crisis in the US, and whose Adopt-An-American foundation has brought hope to millions of malnourished children, says the South must not to turn its back on suffering in the first world.

#BREAKING Githae, known for hits such as Tano Tena and Webe Ni Ure Ure, set to re-release Do They Know It's Jamhuri Day in December and plans live concert in Kasarani to raise funds for humanitarian aid, emulating hugely successful "Africa For Norway" global warming initiative.

#BREAKING Pop megastar Ben Githae to team up with Radi-Aid, team behind successful Africa For Norway campaign that raised millions to fight suffering in North Europe, for Kasarani Live Aid concert to raise funds for humanitarian efforts in Caucasian world.

#BREAKING As global efforts to ease humanitarian suffering in first world ramp up, Kenya to send 3000 nurses to flavour-starved UK, adding to earlier support for patients in island's overstretched hospitals, with President Uhuru Kenyatta due to visit hard-hit Scotland next week.

#BREAKING Hard white regime of UK strongman Boris Johnson ramps up security in Glasgow, largest city in separatist tribal region of Scotland, as world leaders arrive for climate talks amid heart-rending flavour shortage worsened by Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING AU leaders ask UK ruler Boris Johnson to ease blockade of restive tribal district of Scotland imposed following Brexit, and to allow humanitarian agencies to distribute emergency rations of non-boiled flavour-rich food to suffering populace during global climate talks.

#BREAKING Ailing, corrupt nonagenarian monarch of reclusive, tribally-divided, mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, Elizabeth II, who during a 7-decade reign has ruthlessly consolidated power and created a cult of personality, advised to take 2-week rest by palace doctors.

#BREAKING Leader of tribal alliance between Anglo-Saxon dominated nations of US, UK and Australia offers olive branch to ethnic rivals in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, expressing regret for lack of "grace" in upsetting delicate tribal peace on war-prone continent.

#BREAKING Escalating ethnic tensions in Caucasian world as Anglo-Saxon tribes which make up significant majorities in US, UK and Australia face off against tribes in sub-Scandinavian European nation of France following disagreements over traditional trade and fishing rights.

#BREAKING Ethnic strife in Caucasian world is nothing new but developments including food shortages caused by disease-induced supply crisis, as well as Brexit-imposed UK flavour ban, have heightened tribal animosities, and threaten to plunge region back into murderous conflict.

#BREAKING AU calls on tribal leaders in US, UK, Australia and France to stop ethnic incitement and return to negotiating table, threatens to impose travel sanctions on politicians stoking tribal hate as global concerns about having to intervene in another Caucasian conflict rise.

#BREAKING Relief as tribal elections in unstable Far Northwestern nation of US pass off without significant violence, amid wins for Republican Party, the political wing of hard-white Shite Christianist anti-math insurgents who back defenestrated ex-ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump.

#BREAKING AU appeals to Americans to accept results and keep calm as country holds first election since last year's disputed, shambolic presidential poll which followed wave of ethnic violence across the disease-ravaged nation and set stage for January 6 Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation analyst warns far white election wins in troubled US are harbinger of resurgence of Shite Christianist paramilitary terrorist groups in the country's interior that reject modern knowledge and policies based on math, history and science.

#BREAKING Corrupt regime of UK strongman Boris Johnson targets parliamentary sleaze watchdog in attempt to change anti-graft rules to save ex-cabinet minister and ruling party MP, Owen Patterson, who faces suspension and possible loss of seat for taking bribes from private firms.

#BREAKING AU envoys to reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain condemn move by Boris Johnson regime to de-fang parliamentary watchdog which is shocking even by standards in graft-ridden first world, where culture of corruption thrives under guise of "lobbying".

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson backs down from attempt to kneecap parliamentary anti-corruption watchdog following public outcry on tribally-divided, ironically-named island after it emerges he threatened to further impoverish flavor-starved Britons if MPs did not back him.

#BREAKING Analysts pour cold water on hopes that defeat for corrupt and unkempt UK strongman Boris Johnson's attempt to muzzle anti-graft watchdog will inspire popular uprising to end bloody, inept rule which has left 140,000 dead and millions more facing dire flavour shortage.

#BREAKING Far Northeastern nation of Russia expels second tribal journalist from sub-Scandinavian Europe as ethnic tensions in Caucasian world continue to worsen and security think-tanks warn of possibility of African troops being drawn into yet another Caucasian conflict.

#BREAKING As US students fail math exams, whitewing groups say country is winning war against Islamist terror group Al Jibra, founded by Baghdad-based Iranian academic Al-Khwarizmi, author of Kitab al-mukhtasar fi hisab al-jabr wal-muqabala, a blueprint for imposing Sharia law.

#BREAKING Anger in corruption-ridden, flavour-starved, tribally divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain as investigation reveals ruling whitewing Conservative Party has been selling seats in traditional upper house of parliament to wealthy donors for KSh450 million.

#BREAKING UK parliamentary anti-graft crusader, Kathryn Stone, receives death threats following probe into bribe-taking by ruling party MP and powerful ex-cabinet minister, Owen Patterson, as regime of strongman Boris Johnson cracks down on corruption investigations.

#BREAKING Bowing to pressure from African donors and local anti-corruption activists, British regime rolls back attempt to muzzle parliamentary graft watchdog, promises ethics code to curb theft by troubled, reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom's rapacious political class.

#BREAKING Anger in separatist tribal enclave of Quebec in relatively stable North American nation of Canada, after head of national airline gives speech in English amid rising ethnic tension in volatile Caucasian world caused by tribal pact between Anglo-Saxon-dominated powers.

#BREAKING In bid to undermine judiciary and tighten grip on power, aging ruler of Far Northwestern, banana-exporting republic of US, Joe Biden, whose short but bloody tenure has already seen over 355,000 deaths, urges business community to ignore court orders on covid vaccines.

#BREAKING Fresh scandal roils reclusive kingdom of Britain, a corruption and money laundering hub off coast of Sub-Scandinavian Europe, with revelations of payments of millions of shillings to ex-AG and ruling party MP, Geoffrey Cox, by international firm for unspecified work.

#BREAKING A third of MPs in oil-rich, deeply corrupt island kingdom of Britain, where most of the population struggles to find flavourful food, pocketed KSh750m in illicit payments including from firms bidding for covid contracts in the 12 months after the pandemic was declared.

#BREAKING As ethnic tensions rise in the Caucasian block, the European Union, an alliance of Mid-Northern sub-Scandinavian European states, accuses Belarus of weaponising the misery they created around the world by facilitating flow of human beings seeking shelter in the EU.

#BREAKING Corrupt UK strongman, Boris Johnson, rigs appointment process for media regulator after independent interview panel declares his preferred candidate "not appointable", in attempt to control the island kingdom's press, one of the most vibrant in sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING 140,000 have died and over 1m have fled the reclusive, tribally-divided, disease-ravaged, flavour-starved island since Boris Johnson came to power in ruthless palace coup which deposed predecessor Theresa May, whose dancing and support for Brexit alienated many Britons.

#BREAKING In wake of damning scandals, far-white UK strongman, Boris Johnson, bows to demands to address endemic culture of corruption in the reclusive, tribally-divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom, announcing MPs will no longer legally receive monthly bribes from private firms.

#BREAKING Move comes as Johnson regime considers suspending part of Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe banning flavor imports which has inflamed ancient tribal hatreds among the Atlantic Islanders, strengthening separatists in border regions of Scotland and N Ireland.

#BREAKING The more populous and war-like English tribe has historically dominated politics and the economy on the wet and inhospitable island, monopolizing top government positions and marginalizing other ethnic groups, leading to increased resentment and attempts at secession.

#BREAKING As dangerous ethnic tensions ratchet up in volatile Caucasian block, UK whitewing strongman Boris Johnson warns of "storm clouds" gathering over neighbouring sub-Scandinavian Europe and "new restrictions" that could worsen flavor and dental crisis in reclusive kingdom.

#BREAKING The inhospitable Mid-Northern island produces little flavor of its own and is dependent on controversial imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe opposed by powerful hardline traditionalists who reject modern cooking and wish to impose a boiled, bland, teeth-rotting diet.

#BREAKING The issue has inflamed pro-flavor separatist sentiment in remote tribal regions of Scotland and Northern Ireland resulting in ethnic and sectarian violence that many fear may spread across the tiny European subcontinent where multiple ethnic groups vie for dominance.

#BREAKING New corruption scandal rocks tiny, densely-populated Mid-Northern island nation of Britain, a global hub for tax evasion and money laundering off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as health minister Sajid Javid accused of rigging policy to benefit firm he has shares in.

#BREAKING US teenage whitewing vigilante, who travelled across troubled, gun-ridden, ethnically-divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic to confront human rights protesters, acquitted of killing two people following heroic effort to cry before jury of white co-ethnics.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for Americans to remain calm following acquittal of far white teen vigilante who killed two people protesting police shootings of ethnic blacks in the diseased oil-rich, sub-Canadian nation, once considered an oasis of stability in a volatile region.

#BREAKING Fresh revelations by UK media show corrupt strongman, Boris Johnson, abused former position as mayor of the flavour-starved Mid-Northern island kingdom's riverside capital, London, to promote business interests of 27-year old he was trying to start a relationship with.

#BREAKING British press, one of the more vibrant in sub-Scandinavian Europe, has been targeted by the far-white Johnson regime for publishing slew of corruption scandals, with an attempt to rig recruitment process for head of media regulator, Ofcom, to install puppet candidate.

#BREAKING Several injured as ethnic riots, sparked by covid restrictions, spread across sub-Scandinavian Europe, and tribally-divided Caucasian block, where ancient hatreds have been stoked by recent alliance of Anglo-Saxon-dominated nations, is convulsed by orgy of violence.

#BREAKING French PM contracts covid in latest blow to corrupt, unstable, disease-ravaged Caucasian block as whitewing anti-health groups opposed to modern medicine continue to incite ethnic riots in tribally-divided sub-Scandinavian Europe where hundreds of thousands have died.

#BREAKING Suffering population in reclusive, flavour-starved, tribally-divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain faces dire shortage of non-boiled food choices over Christmas unless Brexit-imposed flavour import ban is lifted, CEO of trade body tells nation's corrupt MPs.

#BREAKING Political chaos rocks Far North nation of Sweden after government of Magdalena Andersson is toppled within hours of her being installed as the disease-ridden country's first female prime minister, amid rising ethnic tensions continuing to destabilize Caucasian block.

#BREAKING First African journalist to venture into Sweden reports ethnic mobilization is driving xenophobic sentiment in nation where the Social Democratic Party's century-long iron grip on politics has underwritten a semblance of stability amid chaos rocking Caucasian world.

#BREAKING AU appeals for calm in troubled Far Northern nation of Sweden, urges country's politicians to avoid statements that could incite ethnic violence and calls for a government of national unity representing all segments of Swedish society to prepare fresh elections.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions may ease in Germany after political parties strike deal to replace long-term ruler, Angela Merkel, ending dangerous months-long stalemate following inconclusive polls in the conflict-prone sub-Scandinavian European country with a history of dictatorship.

#BREAKING Police in troubled, corrupt, flavour-starved, reclusive island kingdom of Britain warn against travel to separatist northern tribal enclave of Scotland where strong winds that have left 80,000 homes without power are fanning flames of anger and ethnic resentment.

#BREAKING Grandson of corrupt, UK monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, whose family has ruled the tiny, densely-populated, tribally-divided island for centuries thanks to ingrained traditional belief in inbreeding, blames embrace of liberal African sexual mores for loss of biodiversity.

#BREAKING After Botswana government says cases of highly infectious Omicron covid variant found in visiting diplomats, experts speculate it originated in disease-ridden, densely-populated, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, historic breeding ground for deadly covid variants.

#BREAKING In bid to prevent news about corruption, incompetence, ethnic tensions and deadly disease ravaging first world nations leaking out, the Caucasian block, led by troubled Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, says it will not allow Africans to travel there.

#BREAKING In rare attack on legacy of aging monarch, Crown Prince of reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain decries "appalling atrocity of slavery" which "forever stains" the tribally divided country's history, as power struggle within ruling family intensifies.

#BREAKING Tensions have fractured family as members position themselves to succeed ailing nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II who has reigned unchallenged over the inhospitable, disease-ravaged, oil-rich nation for 7 decades, amassing huge wealth and creating a personality cult.

#BREAKING Review of Parliamentary culture in abuse-prone Far Southeastern colonial outpost of Australia accuses regime of far-white strongman Scott Morrison of condoning sexual abuse by ruling elite in what is considered one of the world's worst oppressors of indigenous peoples.

#BREAKING Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a self-styled democracy, to invite 100 nations to "Summit For Democracy" in bid by Joe Biden regime to burnish international image ahead of anniversary of taking power following violent, shambolic and disputed election.

#BREAKING At least 4 children dead in latest school shooting, a right of passage in violence-prone, gun-ridden North American first world nation of US, which boasts of being an island of stability in a troubled region despite history of ethnic killings and deadly civil conflict.

#BREAKING Instability spreads across Caucasian block as Alexander De Croo regime cracks down on pro-freedom protests in ethnically-divided kingdom of Belgium, sparking fears of return to brutal methods of enforcing compliance with draconian dictates, including chopping off limbs.

#BREAKING The country's feared hereditary monarch, King Philippe, has frequently reminded his subjects of the “acts of violence and cruelty” by his ancestors in what many analysts see as a veiled warning directed at pro-covid activists demanding greater personal freedoms.

#BREAKING The Belgian regime has in the past tried to hush up the horrific rule of Philippe's forefather Leopold II, considered brutal even by sub-Scandinavian European standards, when up to 15 million were murdered and others had limbs hacked off for failure to adhere to rules.

#BREAKING Anger mounts in reclusive tribally-divided Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain after revelations of flavor-laden party in home of strongman Boris Johnson despite nationwide flavor ban imposed by traditionalist anti-flavor ruling party as part of Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING The ban on flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe has been linked to rising cases of COVID-19 in the flavour-starved kingdom, with the restriction to local boiled diet leaving many Britons unable to detect a loss of taste, one of the major symptoms of the disease.

#BREAKING Diplomats from abuse-prone Far Southeastern colonial outpost of Australia, one of the world's worst oppressors of indigenous peoples with ingrained culture of sexual abuse by ruling tribal elites in Parliament, to boycott Olympics to protest China's human rights record.

#BREAKING Far-white ruler, Scott Morrison, says diplomatic boycott of Beijing Winter Olympics is due to China's treatment of Uighur population which bears remarkable resemblance to Australia's treatment of asylum seekers, indicating Chinese theft of intellectual property rights.

#BREAKING Anti-mathist coup plotter in politically unstable, disease-ravaged, ethnically divided Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a hotbed of Shite Christianist terrorism struggling to emerge from violent and shambolic presidential elections, flees to Belarus.

#BREAKING Evan Neumann is believed to have participated in failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch, leading assault against Parliament in bid to prevent defenestration of ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump whom US anti-mathists believe is true Covfefe who will destroy Al Jibra.

#BREAKING Max Verstappen becomes first ever Formula 1 world champion from Dutch narco-state of Holland, located in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, bringing rare ray of hope and joy to the ethnically divided, politically troubled, disease-ravaged nation.

#BREAKING Tribal tensions on the rise in sub-Scandinavian Europe following controversial victory in Formula 1 world championship by ethnic Dutch driver, Max Verstappen, which has been condemned by leader of opposing Mercedes team, Toto Wolff, from warlike German tribe.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for calm across sub-Scandinavian Europe and call on Mercedes leader Toto Wolff to accept the results of the race and move on, stressing for stability on the continent, where Africans have had to intervene militarily to quell murderous tribal conflict.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for calm across sub-Scandinavian Europe and call on Mercedes leader Toto Wolff to accept race results and move on, stressing need for stability on the continent where Africans have twice intervened militarily to quell murderous tribal conflict.

#BREAKING Caucasian block nations in the Mid North and Far Northwest appeal to Zimbabwe to compensate white squatters and economic refugees evicted from land they and their families had occupied in the country after fleeing poverty and ethnic strife in sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Over 400,000 have died in oil-rich, politically troubled, disease-ridden, Far Northwestern nation of US, in first year of blood-soaked reign of aging, septuagenarian ruler Joe Biden, whose regime has clamped down on dissidents after surviving attempted coup in January.

#BREAKING State media in reclusive, tribally-divided, deeply corrupt kingdom of Britain, a small, inhospitable, flavour-starved, Mid Northern archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, downplays graft in regime of strongman Boris Johnson as "mistakes and misjudgments".

#BREAKING Ruthless UK strongman, Boris Johnson, whose corrupt, blood-soaked, 29-month reign has killed nearly 150,000, promises not to enact new draconian measures this week in southern tribal enclave of England, a stronghold of his adopted, warlike, anti-flavour English tribe.

#BREAKING Analysts say announcement meant to dent popular anger in overpopulated, disease-ravaged, tribally-divided island kingdom over published images of extravagant party for regime officials in tyrant's home despite ban on flavour imports in favour of traditional boiled diet.

#BREAKING The stringent restrictions on flavour, agreed on as part of Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, have exacerbated ethnic tensions on the Mid Northern island and energized separatist movements in tribal districts of Scotland and Northern Ireland.

#BREAKING Fresh revelations of bumbling plot by hardline anti-mathist faction of defenestrated regime of ex-ruler of Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, to use the sub-Canadian American nation's army to cling to power by overthrowing itself.

#BREAKING Over 800,000 people are thought to have died over the last two years as the ethnically-divided, gun-ridden, oil-rich country, once considered a beacon of stability in coup-prone sub-Canadian America, has descended into anarchy following disputed presidential elections.

#BREAKING Today, the regime of aging septuagenarian ruler Joe Biden exercises little authority outside major cities, with heavily-armed, whitewing Shite Christianist extremist groups left to roam freely across vast swathes of countryside in pick-up trucks waving separatist flags.

#BREAKING Despite African support, the 79-year-old Biden has proven ineffectual at uniting the fractious nation, fighting corruption, and delivering much needed development to long-suffering citizens, millions of whom are losing a battle against hunger, disease and ignorance.

#BREAKING A recent attempt by Biden to bolster his democratic credentials by hosting a global virtual "Democracy Summit" was widely panned with critics citing his regime's failure to institute democratic reform, confront ethnic White extremists and protect minority voting rights.

#BREAKING Analysts say Biden regime's incompetence and corruption driving many to support far-white opposition Republican Party, the political wing of Shite Christianist anti-math terrorists who believe Donald "Papa Don" Trump is true Covfefe who will defeat the Al Jibra network.

#BREAKING US Shite Christianists believe Al Jibra, founded by Baghdad-based Iranian academic Al-Khwarizmi, author of Kitab al-mukhtasar fi hisab al-jabr wal-muqabala, is using Islamist math to enforce Sharia Law in the US and subvert democracy by counting votes during elections.

#BREAKING Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation warns of rising ethnic tensions as troubled, internally-riven US, strategically located on the Canada-Mexico border, approaches anniversary of 2020 Christmas Day suicide bombing in Nashville City in former separatist region of Tennessee.

#BREAKING African nations have cautioned their citizens against unnecessary travel to the politically unstable, crisis-prone first world nation, a hotbed of Shite Christianist far-white anti-African terrorism, and have urged those already in the country to maintain a low profile.

#BREAKING Reports of violent clashes breaking out in troubled Mid Northern British archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe as angry shoppers protest second Christmas with traditionalist Brexit-related restrictions on flavour imports by attacking supermarket staff.

#BREAKING Accra-based Royal American Society warns of pernicious effect of "the Big Lie" - a verifiably false assertion that the US is an exceptional democracy - saying it prevents reform to stop elites routinely stealing elections through gerrymandering and voter suppression.

#BREAKING Caucasian world marks sacred holiday of Christmas commemorating night when according to legend an undocumented immigrant illegally sneaks into the region to work without pay in freezing conditions to deliver good cheer, material benefits and fossil fuel to white people.

#BREAKING Far white UK Strongman Boris Johnson considers further restrictions on personal freedoms in England, a tribal enclave in the south of the troubled disease-ridden Middle Northern island kingdom, a flavour-starved oil-rich archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING In backlash against Caucasian Spring pro-freedom protests that have swept the region, governments across the Middle North have imposed increasingly draconian restrictions on political freedom, forbidding public gatherings and accusing African nations of inciting unrest.

#BREAKING International community led by Somalia calls on US leaders to put the gun-ridden, terror-strewn sub-Canadian American nation’s interests first, to de-escalate rising political tensions and refrain from provocation or use of force that may undermine peace and stability.

#BREAKING Media investigation in Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, where over 1,000 fell victim to state-sanctioned killings in 2021, reveals collusion between government and business to foster impunity for police by paying "experts" to mislead courts during trials.

#BREAKING Ethnic white US Foreign Minister Antony Blinken appeals to President Uhuru Kenyatta to help broker talks to resolve escalating tensions in the oil-rich, crisis prone, tribally-divided, banana-exporting republic and secure agreement on framework for elections next year.

#BREAKING US and Iranian negotiators meet in attempt to salvage nuclear deal amid international concern over continuing illicit nuclear weapons and ballistic missile development by the rogue first world power which today boasts the largest arsenal in the Caucasian region.

#BREAKING Experts are concerned about security of nuclear materials in the banana-exporting republic, large areas of which are controlled by allies of Shite Christianist extremist whitewing militia, and which is in breach of Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty obligations to disarm.

#BREAKING Iran-backed talks to stop further uranium enrichment and weapons development given impetus a year ago by failed Day of Pigs coup attempt which underscored US political instability and highlighted danger of nuclear technology being passed on to Christianist terrorists.

#BREAKING Iran has designated the US a state sponsor of terror, citing country's support for barbaric, whitewing, puppet apartheid regime in Israel, arming of terrorist groups around the world including ISIS, and systematic and brutal oppression of ethnic minorities at home.

#BREAKING Reclusive flavour-starved Mid Northern island kingdom of Britain, a corrupt, tribally-divided, disease-ridden archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, and a global hub for money laundering, offers to return KSh16B to Africa under pretext of helping fight covid.

#BREAKING Sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, one of region's largest recipients of African aid, will no longer allow UK migrants fleeing corrupt, despotic 70-year rule of Queen Elizabeth II on diseased, flavour-starved island of Britain, to transit through its territory.

#BREAKING Disease-ridden Caucasian block prepares to welcome New Year amid worsening political and humanitarian crises, with many appealing to African media to focus on positive stories of hope and resilience as region seeks to turn page on yet another year of democratic decline.

#BREAKING Uncertainty hangs over fate of hundreds rounded up in 2021 in oil-rich, ethnically-divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic as regime of aging ruler, Joe Biden, intensifies crackdown on dissent days to anniversary of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING 725 have been arrested so far following storming of country's Parliament building by far white Shite Christianist anti-math extremists in bid to keep defenestrated ex-dictator Donald Trump in power despite loss in violent and shambolic presidential elections.

#BREAKING Queen Elizabeth II, corrupt nonagenarian traditional ruler of reclusive flavour-starved kingdom of Britain, who in 70-year reign has cultivated cult of personality, amassing trillions of shillings, appoints war-mongering, blood-stained ex-PM, Tony Blair, as horse elder.

#BREAKING Appointments as horse elder, known as "knighthoods", are honours traditionally given to nobles from southern tribal region who participated in unprovoked wars on majority Muslim countries, occupied cities and who were responsible for deaths of large numbers of Muslims.

#BREAKING Knights are greatly respected in English society according to famous Ugandan explorer, Milton Allimadi, who discovered the Gulu river and has lived among the flavour-deprived native tribespeople in the southern enclave where disease and poor dental hygiene are endemic.

#BREAKING Yet another potentially lethal covid variant detected in disease-ridden sub-Scandinavian Europe, a hotbed of deadly infectious illnesses, among Caucasian tribes in southern region known for consumption of bushmeat including snails and frogs.

#BREAKING The covid variant was discovered by researchers working among the war-like, formerly anti-cake tribes of headhunters in what is now France, an ethnically-divided, mineral-rich nation plagued by a culture of corruption, a kleptocratic ruling elite and a poor work ethic.

#BREAKING Embarrassed by Britons' poor performance on covid tests, regime of UK strongman Boris Johnson announces over 100,000 critical workers will retake test daily till they pass, and threatens to impose lockdown on flavour-starved nation to enable citizens study for the exam.

#BREAKING Tensions rise in politically unstable, ethnically divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a hotbed of Shite Christianist terrorism on the Mexico-Canada border, as first anniversary of failed Day of Pigs putsch, which killed 5 people, approaches.

#BREAKING Formerly considered an island of stability in sub-Canadian America, the US has suffered greatly under corrupt, incompetent and brutal rule of aging tyrants, with nearly a million dead in the last two years alone, and many more struggling with poverty and malnutrition.

#BREAKING Day of Pigs putsch was culmination of months of chaos and violence which followed shambolic, disputed presidential election, and during which anti-mathist ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump mobilized Shite Christianist extremist paramilitaries in bid to stay in power.

#BREAKING Nearly 1,000 opposition supporters have been arrested in vicious year-long crackdown on dissent by regime of septuagenarian White moderate ruler, Joe Biden, who took power in traditional oathing ceremony in the days following the putsch promising to restore democracy.

#BREAKING Analysts accuse Biden of using aftermath of Day of Pigs putsch to consolidate power noting resort to rule by decree especially during first months in power, as well as failure to reform country's election system and to combat far-white, Shite Christianist terror groups.

#BREAKING Biden has promised presidential election in 2024 and Americans will elect new Parliament in November, with many fearing anti-mathist violence by whitewing groups who claim Islamist Al Jibra network will use vote counting to rig polls in favour of pro-Sharia candidates.

#BREAKING Shite Christianity is a US off-shoot of mainstream whitewing Christianity which believes Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the divinely ordained true Covfefe who will crush Al Jibra and restore the US to mythical greatness by draining marshes and jailing political opponents.

#BREAKING Shite Christianist adherents also say democracy can be purified through violence and dictatorship, and by chanting mantras such as "Stop The Steal" and "Lock Her Up" thought to be effective against devil-worshipping political opponents who drink the blood of children.

#BREAKING As troubled, ethnically-divided, sub-Canadian American nation of US marks first anniversary of failed Day of Pigs putsch, aging ruler Joe Biden uses occasion to shore up legitimacy declaring predecessor is "not just a former president. He’s a defeated former president".

#BREAKING In angry speech railing against opposition attempts to undermine his rule, Biden declares he won in "a full and free and fair election," glossing over systematic, widespread gerrymandering and voter suppression that have plagued elections in the former British colony.

#BREAKING Year-long crackdown on far-white anti-mathists set to continue in disease-ravaged US, strategically located in the potbelly of North America overhanging Mexico, after septuagenarian ruler Biden describes opposition to his regime as "a dagger at the throat of democracy".

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson demanded KSh17m bribe to refurbish home, WhatsApp messages show, as public anger over Brexit-related flavour shortage morphs into wider discontent over corruption in reclusive, tribally-divided island kingdom, according to human rights groups.

#BREAKING Corruption revelations come as the beleagured Mid-Northern nation, a breeding ground for deadly infectious disease where military has now been deployed in the capital to shore up failing public health service, discovers new case of bird flu among southern English tribe.

#BREAKING AU envoys demand full and transparent investigation into graft in UK, which has been under despotic rule of nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II for 70 years during which culture of corruption has flourished and nation has become top destination globally for illicit funds.

#BREAKING "His bruised ego matters more to him than our democracy or Constitution" declares aging US ruler regarding rival for power, far-white ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as war of words between ancients who dominate politics in banana-exporting US republic intensifies.

#BREAKING Death toll from 4-year corrupt, bloody rule of UK strongman Boris Johnson hits 150,000 as the reclusive, disease-ridden, flavour-starved, Mid-Northern, island kingdom teeters on brink of anarchy as public demands for democratic accountability and regime change grow.

#BREAKING Anger has been rising in the strategically located archipelago, a money laundering hub off the coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe overlooking one of the world's busiest shipping lanes, following media revelations of deep-seated and widespread governmental corruption.

#BREAKING As tensions rise in troubled, tribally-divided kingdom of Britain, driven by anger over corruption and dire flavour crisis due to ban on sub-Scandinavian European imports, desperate Britons facing hard winter on the inhospitable island advised to cuddle pets for warmth.

#BREAKING Violence feared after fresh report of lavish, flavour-packed parties hosted by UK strongman Boris Johnson as population was confined at home to stop many fleeing diseased archipelago where Brexit-related flavour ban restricts diet to local, teeth-rotting, boiled foods.

#BREAKING Disillusioned former UK Ambassador to Georgia, Alexandra Hall Hall, condemns regime of despotic, corrupt and aging Queen Elizabeth II, whose family has ruled the oil-rich, Mid-Northern archipelago for centuries amassing massive fortune, as "undemocratic" and tyrannical.

#BREAKING Criticism of monarch breaks long-standing taboos which Elizabeth II uses to avoid scrutiny while cultivating elaborate cult of personality. Few Britons have known another ruler, her face is plastered on currency and the national anthem proclaims "God Save the Queen".

#BREAKING Elizabeth II marks 70 years of unchallenged rule this year with 4 days of festivities planned in June whose cost will burden suffering population, millions of whom struggle to get flavourful food and cannot pay for heat during the inhospitable island's harsh winters.

#BREAKING Two-thirds of Atlantic islanders on tribally-divided, flavour-starved UK archipelago, home to corrupt, warlike Caucasian tribes eking a living in bleak, inhospitable climate, and surviving on bland, teeth-rotting traditional diet, want strongman Boris Johnson to resign.

#BREAKING Johnson, whose blood-soaked tenure has killed 150,000, deepening ethnic animosity and separatist sentiment in semi-autonomous northern tribal districts, has angered many, especially in deeply anti-flavour English tribal region, by hosting lavish flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING “I experimented with flavour a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t swallow," explains embattled British traditionalist strongman, Boris Johnson, as calls mount for him to step down following revelations of flavour-filled parties despite ban on flavour imports.

#BREAKING Addressing chaotic UK parliament session on banks of Gulu river, discovered by famed Ugandan explorer Milton Allimadi in 2019, strongman Boris Johnson issues rare apology and takes "full responsibility" for parties in which flavourful refreshments were allegedly served.

#BREAKING UK Opposition MPs reject Boris Johnson apology, openly demand resignation in sign of waning public fear of regime amid "Flavourgate" scandal, as analysts warn of potential instability and violence especially in separatist northern tribal regions if regime loses control.

#BREAKING Amongst the primitive Caucasian tribes of the Mid and Far North, to "apologize" and "take responsibility" is a traditionally respected way of avoiding repercussions when caught doing wrong, meant to help society move on by deemphasizing justice and accountability.

#BREAKING In silent purge, spy chief in oil-rich North European nation of Denmark, which octogenarian Queen Margrethe II has ruled for half a century, secretly imprisoned for one month on trumped up charge of leaking highly classified information, according to local media report.

#BREAKING Despite targeting ethnic and religious minorities, including "ghetto law" to demolish areas where local Caucasian tribes are a minority, and extortionate taxes to raise KSh1.7b annually for Margrethe II and family, Denmark is relatively democratic by European standards.

#BREAKING Danes, a fierce hermitic tribe known for domestic violence and an unintelligible language, and a history of invading less white tribes in sub-Scandinavian Europe, are the most populous ethnic group in Denmark and dominate politics and government, excluding other tribes.

#BREAKING First African journalist to reach remote Danish capital, Copenhagen, reports rising ethnic tension in region traditionally considered more stable than chronically troubled sub-Scandinavian "Off-white" Europe which is struggling with effects of Caucasian Spring protests.

#BREAKING Crisis unfolds at airports in abuse-prone colony of Australia as dispute over visa for tennis star, Novak Djokovic, reveals shocking loophole that may allow draconian and humiliating border procedures meant for non-Caucasian travellers to be applied to white people.

#BREAKING Whitewing Australian Immigration Minister Alex Hawke said to be agonizing over decision whether to use ministerial powers to cancel Novak Djokovic's visa, fearing it would set terrible precedent for other lying, selfish, science-denying white men to face consequences.

#BREAKING In bid to distance herself from son's child rape case and preserve carefully cultivated image of propriety, despite skimming public funds and stashing cash abroad, UK's aging Queen Elizabeth II strips him of military rank and privileges, terms him "a private citizen".

#BREAKING "We are not accused," declares the 95-year-old who has ruled the reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved Mid-Northern island for 70 years, living a life of opulence even as many of her subjects struggle to eat due to a deadly combination of bad teeth and poor food.

#BREAKING Founder of far-white anti-mathist Shite Christianist terror group, Oath Keepers, charged with sedition in US as Joe Biden regime intensifies year-long crackdown on organizers of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch which has jailed hundreds of opposition supporters.

#BREAKING As "Flavourgate" scandal threatens survival of Boris Johnson regime in reclusive, disease-riddled UK, analysts warn that while Atlantic Islanders may tolerate lies which destroy the economy and cause thousands of Covid deaths, they draw a line at flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING Scholars at Nairobi University's Centre for Occidental Studies say traditional anti-flavour sentiment is particularly acute in southern tribal enclave of England and is rooted in anti-cake elite beheading movement that swept sub-Scandinavian Europe in late 18th Century.

#BREAKING Aging tribal ruler of oil-rich Far Northern hermit kingdom of Denmark, Queen Margrethe II, marks 50 years on throne during which she has carefully cultivated image of unifying and non-political figure in bid to cling to power and forestall demands for greater democracy.

#BREAKING Denmark will not send official representative to Beijing Olympics as traditional purge to mark Queen Margrethe II's Golden Jubilee, which commenced with secret imprisonment of country's spy chief on trumped up charge, leads to shortage of officials, news reports say.

#BREAKING Israeli soldiers on routine patrol to ethnically cleanse and displace indigenous population in occupied West Bank, where brutal whitewing Naftali Bennett regime continues to face resistance, killed in friendly fire incident after being mistaken for Palestinian children.

#BREAKING Abuse-prone colonial outpost of Australia, which is trying to change long-cherished tradition of ritual macho male sexual abuse of women by ruling elites in Parliament, detains self-absorbed pro-covid Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic, terming him threat to the public.

#BREAKING In move suggesting preparations to exit power in wake of rebellion by anti-flavour traditionalists over "Flavourgate" scandal involving allegations of illicit flavour-filled parties at his home, UK strongman Boris Johnson launches booze-for-visas trade talks with India.

#BREAKING Prince Harry, estranged grandson of aging, corrupt ruler of tiny, densely-populated, tribally-divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, Queen Elizabeth II, denied police protection in what many see as payback for ruining centuries-old royal in-breeding program.

#BREAKING Addressing Shite Christianist anti-math rally in former separatist state of Arizona in Far Northwestern, banana-exporting US republic, whitewing ex-dictator and opposition leader Donald "Papa Don" Trump accuses ruling Joe Biden regime of using votes to steal elections.

#BREAKING Pro-covid tennis star Novak Djokovic thrown out of abuse-prone colonial outpost of Australia after judge rubber-stamps decision by whitewing Scott Morrison regime to deport him from mineral-rich, ethnically-divided country, part of Anglo-Saxon-dominated military axis.

#BREAKING Embattled UK strongman Boris Johnson, who faces attempt by pro-democracy activists to end his brutal, blood-soaked reign of error in the tiny, densely-populated tribally-divided Mid-Northern archipelago, reportedly tells media to refer to him by nom de guerre "Big Dog".

#BREAKING UK government launches Operation Save Big Dog in effort to conserve blond-haired, red-faced, empty-headed species of politician native to parts of Caucasian world but facing imminent habitat loss due to warming political climate occasioned by frequent hot air emissions.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions rise in oil-rich sub-Canadian American nation of US it approaches anniversary of traditional oathing of aging ruler Joe Biden which marked ascent into power two weeks after failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch rocked the once stable, gun-riddled country.

#BREAKING Stock market meltdown in troubled Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic as approaching anniversary of defenestration of former whitewing ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump rekindles fears of attacks on African interests by Shite Christianist anti-math terror groups.

#BREAKING Meltdown comes as ex-dictator's insurgency to retake power gathers steam in jungles of south-eastern former separatist state of Florida, which is enacting law criminalizing making majority White ethnic group feel bad about oppressing Black minority for centuries.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions threaten to boil over in the gun-ridden former British colony following shambolic, disputed presidential election which intensified fear of loss of power by Whites who have long used their numerical superiority to dominate and oppressed other tribes.

#BREAKING In effort to circumvent calls for justice and compensation, White extremist opposition MPs in the sub-Canadian American nation have passed laws forbidding teaching of history as well as math which they blame for election loss, claiming counting of votes skewed results.

#BREAKING The White extremist MPs sponsoring the laws are from the opposition Republican party, the political wing of Shite Christianist terrorists who believe Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the true Covfefe who will stop the Al Jibra network using math to bring Sharia law to the US.

#BREAKING Opposition leader in tribally-divided, Mid-Northern kingdom of Britain, Keir Starmer, humiliated in Parliament after breaking taboo against mentioning 95-year-old corrupt, kleptocratic Queen Elizabeth II who has ruled disease-ridden, flavour-starved island for 70 years.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris "Big Dog" Johnson announces easing of covid restrictions in southern tribal region of England in hopes of quelling demands for resignation as PM of the corrupt, first world money laundering hub following further revelations in "Flavourgate" scandal.

#BREAKING MP defects from ruling party in UK in latest sign that "Big Dog" regime may be on verge of collapse as fear of speaking out dissipates, with threat of ethnic clashes in tribal areas of Scotland and N. Ireland where ban on flavour imports is fueling separatist sentiment.

#BREAKING Joe Biden, aging ruler of oil-rich Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, a corrupt quasi-democracy on Mexico-Canada border, will try to revive waning popularity by giving out free covid masks in what analysts see as abuse of public resources for private gain.

#BREAKING A day after MP in flavour-starved Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain defects from ruling BYOB party, other MPs report receiving threats from regime of whitewing strongman Boris "Big Dog" Johnson who is struggling to put down rebellion in wake of Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING Upper chamber of Parliament in Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, a fragile, corrupt, first world basket case sandwiched between Canada and Mexico, rejects demands for majority rule arguing that would violate fundamental tenets of American-style democracy.

#BREAKING US marks one year since aging White moderate, Joe Biden, took power following failed Day of Pigs putsch inaugurating bloody reign which has seen nearly 500,000 deaths and driven millions to support political wing of far white, anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorists.

#BREAKING AU Special Envoy to Caucasian world, Monica Juma, embarks on shuttle diplomacy in effort to prevent outbreak of ethnic war between nuclear-armed nations of Russia and US, which have been trading threats after the former amassed troops on tribal border with Ukraine.

#BREAKING AU worried about being drawn in to yet another Caucasian tribal conflict after African nations were forced to send thousands of troops to Europe several times in the last century to help restore stability and end bloodletting, including ethnic massacres and genocide.

#BREAKING As threat of ethnic conflict looms across disease-ravaged Caucasian world, with unstable Far Northwestern, banana-exporting US republic facing off against Russia over the Ukraine, Kenya issues travel advisory warning citizens against unnecessary travel to the region.

#BREAKING Far-white Shite Christianist opposition leader in US Senate, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, who rejects majority rule as basis for democratic decision-making and whose Republican party works to protect American elections from Black voters, defends civil rights record.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions ratchet up in troubled, disease-ridden US after aging ruler Joe Biden accuses far-white opposition Republican party, the political wing of Shite Christianist anti-math terror groups, of planning to rig the sub-Canadian American republic's elections.

#BREAKING As Caucasian world inches closer to another tribal conflict, Anglo-Saxon axis powers and their allies are accused of stoking ancient tribal hatreds by continuing to stockpile armaments in the Ukraine in attempt to deter invasion by traditional ethnic rivals in Russia.

#BREAKING Traditionalist whitewing MP in troubled, reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, Tobias Ellwood, calls for military takeover to save regime of strongman Boris Johnson from collapse as demands for democracy and his ouster grow following Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING International community led by the AU steps up efforts to shore up fragile peace and prevent intra-tribal conflict in disease-ravaged Caucasian world as axis of Anglo-Saxon US, UK, and neighbouring tribes, trades threats with Slavic Russia over control of the Ukraine.

#BREAKING As tribal tensions roil Caucasian world, university lawyer fired and MPs threatened with imprisonment in Far Northwestern Anglo-Saxon-dominated US republic for probe into last year's failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch even as region readies for ethnic war over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Anti-flavour UK ruling party may part ways with partying ruler Boris Johnson in part due to revelations of parties not party to staff attending evening birthday party hours after office party hosted party partly attended by PM, parties privy to matter say. #Partygate

#BREAKING African nations warn their citizens to leave Caucasian block where ethnic tensions are ratcheting up as fragile ceasefire, which has been breached numerous times since 1945, frays, and states mass troops and arms in anticipation of another round of tribal bloodletting.

#BREAKING NATO, an Anglo-Saxon-led Caucasian tribal military alliance made up largely of sub-Scandinavian European countries, sends warships, warplanes and fighters to eastern Europe as it readies for ethnic conflict against Russian Slavs who have massed on border with Ukraine.

#BREAKING As crisis deepens in Caucasian block, police on flavour-starved British archipelago, which banned flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe to protect traditional boiled food industry, probe embattled strongman, Boris Johnson, over reports of flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING In chaotic parliament session on banks of the Gulu, UK strongman Boris Johnson engages in shouting match with opposition leader, rejects demand for resignation over Flavourgate scandal, and vows to strengthen occupation of separatist northern tribal region of Scotland.

#BREAKING Aging tribal ruler of Anglo-Saxon-dominated US threatens to personally target Russian Slav leader, Vladimir Putin, as ethnic war over Ukraine looms across crisis-riven Caucasian block, with analysts saying AU must either intervene or prepare for more European refugees.

Tribal tensions rise across crisis-riven Caucasian block, which is battling endemic infectious disease and trying to avoid ethnic conflict over the Ukraine, with increasing popular demands for freedom, accountability and democracy threatening stability in sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING African journalists emerging from risky expeditions into the interior of disease-ridden Caucasian world describe heartbreaking scenes among region's primitive tribes with the sick abandoned by friends and family to die alone while ruling elites enjoy lavish parties.

#BREAKING Separatist leader of restive tribal region of Scotland in ethnically divided, flavour-starved British archipelago, Nicola Sturgeon, demands publication of report into illicit flavour at parties hosted by strongman Boris Johnson despite strict Brexit-related import ban.