R: Schools are teaching our kids CRT
D: Show one example

R: Well, they’re forcing it on teachers
D: Name one school that does this

R: Well, it’s clearly infecting the curriculum
D: Be specific

NYT: Democrats Take CRT Literally But Not Seriously

R: WE WIN AGAIN 😂
D: There have been multiple court hearings & thousands of pages of documentation demonstrating that Trump covertly sought Russia’s help in getting elected

R: You have no evidence LOL

FOX: There’s a nationwide plot to shame white children for being racist

R: YOU HAD ME AT HELLO
CNN: The Coronavirus death toll continues to rise among the unvaccinated

R: Ehh, CNN and the Democrats are just trying to scare us

FOX: A teacher somewhere in California used the words “white people” & “racist” in the same sentence

R: MAN THE BATTLESTATIONS, PATRIOTS!
R: Critical Race Theory is everywhere! Teachers are crushing the spirit of white children! This is clearly the Democrats’ fault! I’m going to give the school board a piece of my mind!

CNN: 12 more witnesses have been subpoenaed in the 1/6 investigation

R: 🙄 Freakin’ witch hunt
C: I am a political strategist urging Democrats to avoid saying anything that upsets fragile white voters if they ever want to win elections again

D: Doesn’t that mean “Never say or do anything about race, ever”

C: Pretty much

D: So nothing will ever change

C: But elections
C: The GOP is a destructive force hell-bent on undermining democracy. Are you telling me you see no value in winning elections even if you’re ultimately boxed into doing nothing when you win?

D: And people wonder why we don’t inspire more enthusiasm

R: DID YOU CALL ME RACIST?

• • •

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More from @Dreamweasel

9 Nov
While I do not entirely dismiss your goal, I regret to inform you that there is no way to “talk about race” that will not alienate the segment of the voting population that adamantly takes offense at any suggestion that racism remains a thing
The last six months of CRT-related discussion has hammered home the point that there is literally nothing you can say about racial inequality that won’t disturb the Princess-and-the-Pea-level sensitivity of a MAGA conservative: “STOP ACCUSING MY WHITE CHILDREN OF BEING RACIST!”
So although I am certainly open to a realpolitik solution that would incentivize white voters to embrace racial progress, I struggle to consider exactly how such a thing could be done outside of “slip it into the background without really talking about it.”
Read 4 tweets
8 Nov
R: How dare Sesame Street advocate vaccination when it has become such a partisan and divisive issue

D: How do you suppose it “became” partisan

R: Clearly Dr. Fauci, the CDC, and all pro-vaccine scientists are involved in a major Deep State conspiracy

D: That sounds reasonable
R: Besides, the safety of the vaccine has not been settled

D: You say that about any issue where you don’t like the results

R: That’s ridiculous

D: Like climate change

R: Needs more study

D: Or the 2020 election

R: Voter fraud

D: Or the Mueller Report

R: No collusion
D: Your resistance says more about you than it does the vaccine

R: What’s wrong with my body, my choice? HUH?

D: Because eradication of a disease requires—

R: HYPOCRITES!

D: Your allegation of hypocrisy does not make the situations analagous

R: I distinctly said “hypocrites”
Read 4 tweets
7 Nov
R: BLM thugs are rioting in the streets! The woke mob is destroying America! Stop Sharia Law! There’s a crisis at the border! Build the Wall!

FOX: A schoolteacher in Poughkeepsie told her class about institutional racism

R: But teaching our kids about that will divide us
R: I’m just concerned that suggesting nonwhites get a raw deal will destroy the colorblind utopia where America would otherwise be headed

D: I see

R: And furthermore, Pants Up Don’t Loot Free Kyle Rittenhouse Blue Lives Matter Boycott the NFL Go Woke Go Broke Pocahontas LOL
R: Why haven’t you wokesters figured out that the most racist thing you can do is accuse white people of being racist

D: Are you sure about that

R: Yes, because that makes nonracists angry & resentful, which makes them WANT to act racist

D: So how exactly would we be wrong
Read 7 tweets
5 Nov
Yes, but if angry white parents spent months complaining to school boards that their kids were being taught about institutional racism, it would be less “gangbusters electoral strategy” and more “those feral rednecks are insane”
And for the record, I have not conceded that Rufo just “gave a name” to a thing that was already happening: he used the name of an existing legal academic theory to describe something completely different. It’s a little like calling the Native Americans “Indians.”
I am well aware that informing conservatives that they are factually incorrect is exclusively the domain of pointy-headed political naifs, as it changes the minds of no one and makes our side appear fussy, pedantic, & completely out-of-touch with the pulse of Real Americans
Read 5 tweets
2 Nov
A DAY WITH QANON

💁‍♂️: Let’s go to Dealey Plaza today and greet John F. Kennedy, Jr. when he returns from the dead

🙎🏻‍♀️: Sounds good

(entire day passes)

🙎‍♂️: Fuckin’ pedophiles, man
👩🏽‍🦱: I have no choice but to conclude that you Q fanatics are seven different flavors of cuckoo bananas

👨: HA! You’ve fallen right into our trap

👩🏽‍🦱: How so

👨: It’s Election Day, and nothing motivates Republicans to vote faster than elitist sneering like yours

👩🏽‍🦱: Oh, FFS
👨: While you were laughing at us all day, your mockery galvanized the base that couldn’t wait to put you Democrats in your place

👩🏽‍🦱: It’s scary how that almost makes sense

🙎🏻‍♀️: Go ahead, liberals! Laugh at us some more!

👨: (licks icy flagpole)

🙎🏻‍♀️: (gets head stuck in toilet)
Read 4 tweets
1 Nov
FOX: Hi, we’ve spent 6 months convincing our viewers that teachers were using CRT to brainwash children into hating white people

D: But

R: We are motivated & energized to vote for Republicans to rid our schools of the CRT menace

NYT: Can Democrats Overcome the Enthusiasm Gap?
FOX: Black Lives Matter Thugs Rioting & Looting Antifa Critical Race Theory Immigrants MS-13 Sharia Law China Virus Woke Mob Border Emergency

R: Maybe you Democrats would win more elections if you weren’t focused so singlemindedly on race
D: Nobody teaches CRT in public schools

R: By “CRT”, of course I mean any curriculum that suggests institutional racism is now or was ever a thing

D: That’s a pretty wide net to cast

R: Not if the schools just stop talking about race

D: I see

R: Also, Cancel Culture sucks
Read 8 tweets

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