Thread by @muddymuddymum

Do you ever think about the time before you had kids/got married and how you imagined it was going to be?

And now you’re like:

I’ll give examples for this:

Pre kids: My kids will never draw on walls!
With kids: let’s put a frame around that and call it art, shall we?

Pre kids: my kids will never spend all their time on computers
With kids: here’s the iPad, or do you want the phone, or computer?

Pre kids: my kids will eat a healthy balanced diet
With kids: I’m not eating anything orange/squidgy/vegetable or fruit related. When are we having McDonalds again?

Pre kids: my kids are going to wear all these cute outfits
With kids: ok, nothing white. Pls Stop eating your top.

Pre marriage: We will never fight, we will talk things out like grown ups

Married life: You are a cockwomble. *puts fingers in ears* And I’m not listening

(I know, I’m so grown up, my mother must be proud)

Pre marriage: we will make time for each other and have date nights on a regular basis.

Married life: Wanna go see some machinery? We can call it a date if you like. I’ll buy you McDonalds.

Pre marriage: we will go to bed together at night and talk about our day

Married life: Are you coming to bed or what?

TWO HOURS LATER…

I think I fell asleep in front of the tv again. Love, are you awake? Love?

😴🤤😴

Pre marriage: let’s make love on the sofa

Married life: can you lift your foot so I can Hoover

Pre marriage: let’s make love on the washing machine

Married life: Washing machine is on the blink again!

Pre marriage: let’s make love outdoors

Married life: think of the washing

@threadreaderapp unroll pretty please