Thread by @gathara

#BREAKING New corruption scandal rocks tiny, densely-populated Mid-Northern island nation of Britain, a global hub for tax evasion and money laundering off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, as health minister Sajid Javid accused of rigging policy to benefit firm he has shares in.

#BREAKING US teenage whitewing vigilante, who travelled across troubled, gun-ridden, ethnically-divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic to confront human rights protesters, acquitted of killing two people following heroic effort to cry before jury of white co-ethnics.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for Americans to remain calm following acquittal of far white teen vigilante who killed two people protesting police shootings of ethnic blacks in the diseased oil-rich, sub-Canadian nation, once considered an oasis of stability in a volatile region.

#BREAKING Fresh revelations by UK media show corrupt strongman, Boris Johnson, abused former position as mayor of the flavour-starved Mid-Northern island kingdom's riverside capital, London, to promote business interests of 27-year old he was trying to start a relationship with.

#BREAKING British press, one of the more vibrant in sub-Scandinavian Europe, has been targeted by the far-white Johnson regime for publishing slew of corruption scandals, with an attempt to rig recruitment process for head of media regulator, Ofcom, to install puppet candidate.

#BREAKING Several injured as ethnic riots, sparked by covid restrictions, spread across sub-Scandinavian Europe, and tribally-divided Caucasian block, where ancient hatreds have been stoked by recent alliance of Anglo-Saxon-dominated nations, is convulsed by orgy of violence.

#BREAKING French PM contracts covid in latest blow to corrupt, unstable, disease-ravaged Caucasian block as whitewing anti-health groups opposed to modern medicine continue to incite ethnic riots in tribally-divided sub-Scandinavian Europe where hundreds of thousands have died.

#BREAKING Suffering population in reclusive, flavour-starved, tribally-divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain faces dire shortage of non-boiled food choices over Christmas unless Brexit-imposed flavour import ban is lifted, CEO of trade body tells nation's corrupt MPs.

#BREAKING Political chaos rocks Far North nation of Sweden after government of Magdalena Andersson is toppled within hours of her being installed as the disease-ridden country's first female prime minister, amid rising ethnic tensions continuing to destabilize Caucasian block.

#BREAKING First African journalist to venture into Sweden reports ethnic mobilization is driving xenophobic sentiment in nation where the Social Democratic Party's century-long iron grip on politics has underwritten a semblance of stability amid chaos rocking Caucasian world.

#BREAKING AU appeals for calm in troubled Far Northern nation of Sweden, urges country's politicians to avoid statements that could incite ethnic violence and calls for a government of national unity representing all segments of Swedish society to prepare fresh elections.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions may ease in Germany after political parties strike deal to replace long-term ruler, Angela Merkel, ending dangerous months-long stalemate following inconclusive polls in the conflict-prone sub-Scandinavian European country with a history of dictatorship.

#BREAKING Police in troubled, corrupt, flavour-starved, reclusive island kingdom of Britain warn against travel to separatist northern tribal enclave of Scotland where strong winds that have left 80,000 homes without power are fanning flames of anger and ethnic resentment.

#BREAKING Grandson of corrupt, UK monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, whose family has ruled the tiny, densely-populated, tribally-divided island for centuries thanks to ingrained traditional belief in inbreeding, blames embrace of liberal African sexual mores for loss of biodiversity.

#BREAKING After Botswana government says cases of highly infectious Omicron covid variant found in visiting diplomats, experts speculate it originated in disease-ridden, densely-populated, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, historic breeding ground for deadly covid variants.

#BREAKING In bid to prevent news about corruption, incompetence, ethnic tensions and deadly disease ravaging first world nations leaking out, the Caucasian block, led by troubled Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, says it will not allow Africans to travel there.

#BREAKING In rare attack on legacy of aging monarch, Crown Prince of reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain decries "appalling atrocity of slavery" which "forever stains" the tribally divided country's history, as power struggle within ruling family intensifies.

#BREAKING Tensions have fractured family as members position themselves to succeed ailing nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II who has reigned unchallenged over the inhospitable, disease-ravaged, oil-rich nation for 7 decades, amassing huge wealth and creating a personality cult.

#BREAKING Review of Parliamentary culture in abuse-prone Far Southeastern colonial outpost of Australia accuses regime of far-white strongman Scott Morrison of condoning sexual abuse by ruling elite in what is considered one of the world's worst oppressors of indigenous peoples.

#BREAKING Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a self-styled democracy, to invite 100 nations to "Summit For Democracy" in bid by Joe Biden regime to burnish international image ahead of anniversary of taking power following violent, shambolic and disputed election.

#BREAKING At least 4 children dead in latest school shooting, a right of passage in violence-prone, gun-ridden North American first world nation of US, which boasts of being an island of stability in a troubled region despite history of ethnic killings and deadly civil conflict.

#BREAKING Instability spreads across Caucasian block as Alexander De Croo regime cracks down on pro-freedom protests in ethnically-divided kingdom of Belgium, sparking fears of return to brutal methods of enforcing compliance with draconian dictates, including chopping off limbs.

#BREAKING The country's feared hereditary monarch, King Philippe, has frequently reminded his subjects of the “acts of violence and cruelty” by his ancestors in what many analysts see as a veiled warning directed at pro-covid activists demanding greater personal freedoms.

#BREAKING The Belgian regime has in the past tried to hush up the horrific rule of Philippe's forefather Leopold II, considered brutal even by sub-Scandinavian European standards, when up to 15 million were murdered and others had limbs hacked off for failure to adhere to rules.

#BREAKING Anger mounts in reclusive tribally-divided Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain after revelations of flavor-laden party in home of strongman Boris Johnson despite nationwide flavor ban imposed by traditionalist anti-flavor ruling party as part of Brexit peace deal.

#BREAKING The ban on flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe has been linked to rising cases of COVID-19 in the flavour-starved kingdom, with the restriction to local boiled diet leaving many Britons unable to detect a loss of taste, one of the major symptoms of the disease.

#BREAKING Diplomats from abuse-prone Far Southeastern colonial outpost of Australia, one of the world's worst oppressors of indigenous peoples with ingrained culture of sexual abuse by ruling tribal elites in Parliament, to boycott Olympics to protest China's human rights record.

#BREAKING Far-white ruler, Scott Morrison, says diplomatic boycott of Beijing Winter Olympics is due to China's treatment of Uighur population which bears remarkable resemblance to Australia's treatment of asylum seekers, indicating Chinese theft of intellectual property rights.

#BREAKING Anti-mathist coup plotter in politically unstable, disease-ravaged, ethnically divided Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a hotbed of Shite Christianist terrorism struggling to emerge from violent and shambolic presidential elections, flees to Belarus.

#BREAKING Evan Neumann is believed to have participated in failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch, leading assault against Parliament in bid to prevent defenestration of ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump whom US anti-mathists believe is true Covfefe who will destroy Al Jibra.

#BREAKING Max Verstappen becomes first ever Formula 1 world champion from Dutch narco-state of Holland, located in nether regions of sub-Scandinavian Europe, bringing rare ray of hope and joy to the ethnically divided, politically troubled, disease-ravaged nation.

#BREAKING Tribal tensions on the rise in sub-Scandinavian Europe following controversial victory in Formula 1 world championship by ethnic Dutch driver, Max Verstappen, which has been condemned by leader of opposing Mercedes team, Toto Wolff, from warlike German tribe.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for calm across sub-Scandinavian Europe and call on Mercedes leader Toto Wolff to accept the results of the race and move on, stressing for stability on the continent, where Africans have had to intervene militarily to quell murderous tribal conflict.

#BREAKING AU envoys appeal for calm across sub-Scandinavian Europe and call on Mercedes leader Toto Wolff to accept race results and move on, stressing need for stability on the continent where Africans have twice intervened militarily to quell murderous tribal conflict.

#BREAKING Caucasian block nations in the Mid North and Far Northwest appeal to Zimbabwe to compensate white squatters and economic refugees evicted from land they and their families had occupied in the country after fleeing poverty and ethnic strife in sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING Over 400,000 have died in oil-rich, politically troubled, disease-ridden, Far Northwestern nation of US, in first year of blood-soaked reign of aging, septuagenarian ruler Joe Biden, whose regime has clamped down on dissidents after surviving attempted coup in January.

#BREAKING State media in reclusive, tribally-divided, deeply corrupt kingdom of Britain, a small, inhospitable, flavour-starved, Mid Northern archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, downplays graft in regime of strongman Boris Johnson as "mistakes and misjudgments".

#BREAKING Ruthless UK strongman, Boris Johnson, whose corrupt, blood-soaked, 29-month reign has killed nearly 150,000, promises not to enact new draconian measures this week in southern tribal enclave of England, a stronghold of his adopted, warlike, anti-flavour English tribe.

#BREAKING Analysts say announcement meant to dent popular anger in overpopulated, disease-ravaged, tribally-divided island kingdom over published images of extravagant party for regime officials in tyrant's home despite ban on flavour imports in favour of traditional boiled diet.

#BREAKING The stringent restrictions on flavour, agreed on as part of Brexit peace deal with sub-Scandinavian Europe, have exacerbated ethnic tensions on the Mid Northern island and energized separatist movements in tribal districts of Scotland and Northern Ireland.

#BREAKING Fresh revelations of bumbling plot by hardline anti-mathist faction of defenestrated regime of ex-ruler of Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, to use the sub-Canadian American nation's army to cling to power by overthrowing itself.

#BREAKING Over 800,000 people are thought to have died over the last two years as the ethnically-divided, gun-ridden, oil-rich country, once considered a beacon of stability in coup-prone sub-Canadian America, has descended into anarchy following disputed presidential elections.

#BREAKING Today, the regime of aging septuagenarian ruler Joe Biden exercises little authority outside major cities, with heavily-armed, whitewing Shite Christianist extremist groups left to roam freely across vast swathes of countryside in pick-up trucks waving separatist flags.

#BREAKING Despite African support, the 79-year-old Biden has proven ineffectual at uniting the fractious nation, fighting corruption, and delivering much needed development to long-suffering citizens, millions of whom are losing a battle against hunger, disease and ignorance.

#BREAKING A recent attempt by Biden to bolster his democratic credentials by hosting a global virtual "Democracy Summit" was widely panned with critics citing his regime's failure to institute democratic reform, confront ethnic White extremists and protect minority voting rights.

#BREAKING Analysts say Biden regime's incompetence and corruption driving many to support far-white opposition Republican Party, the political wing of Shite Christianist anti-math terrorists who believe Donald "Papa Don" Trump is true Covfefe who will defeat the Al Jibra network.

#BREAKING US Shite Christianists believe Al Jibra, founded by Baghdad-based Iranian academic Al-Khwarizmi, author of Kitab al-mukhtasar fi hisab al-jabr wal-muqabala, is using Islamist math to enforce Sharia Law in the US and subvert democracy by counting votes during elections.

#BREAKING Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation warns of rising ethnic tensions as troubled, internally-riven US, strategically located on the Canada-Mexico border, approaches anniversary of 2020 Christmas Day suicide bombing in Nashville City in former separatist region of Tennessee.

#BREAKING African nations have cautioned their citizens against unnecessary travel to the politically unstable, crisis-prone first world nation, a hotbed of Shite Christianist far-white anti-African terrorism, and have urged those already in the country to maintain a low profile.

#BREAKING Reports of violent clashes breaking out in troubled Mid Northern British archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe as angry shoppers protest second Christmas with traditionalist Brexit-related restrictions on flavour imports by attacking supermarket staff.

#BREAKING Accra-based Royal American Society warns of pernicious effect of "the Big Lie" - a verifiably false assertion that the US is an exceptional democracy - saying it prevents reform to stop elites routinely stealing elections through gerrymandering and voter suppression.

#BREAKING Caucasian world marks sacred holiday of Christmas commemorating night when according to legend an undocumented immigrant illegally sneaks into the region to work without pay in freezing conditions to deliver good cheer, material benefits and fossil fuel to white people.

#BREAKING Far white UK Strongman Boris Johnson considers further restrictions on personal freedoms in England, a tribal enclave in the south of the troubled disease-ridden Middle Northern island kingdom, a flavour-starved oil-rich archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING In backlash against Caucasian Spring pro-freedom protests that have swept the region, governments across the Middle North have imposed increasingly draconian restrictions on political freedom, forbidding public gatherings and accusing African nations of inciting unrest.

#BREAKING International community led by Somalia calls on US leaders to put the gun-ridden, terror-strewn sub-Canadian American nation’s interests first, to de-escalate rising political tensions and refrain from provocation or use of force that may undermine peace and stability.

#BREAKING Media investigation in Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, where over 1,000 fell victim to state-sanctioned killings in 2021, reveals collusion between government and business to foster impunity for police by paying "experts" to mislead courts during trials.

#BREAKING Ethnic white US Foreign Minister Antony Blinken appeals to President Uhuru Kenyatta to help broker talks to resolve escalating tensions in the oil-rich, crisis prone, tribally-divided, banana-exporting republic and secure agreement on framework for elections next year.

#BREAKING US and Iranian negotiators meet in attempt to salvage nuclear deal amid international concern over continuing illicit nuclear weapons and ballistic missile development by the rogue first world power which today boasts the largest arsenal in the Caucasian region.

#BREAKING Experts are concerned about security of nuclear materials in the banana-exporting republic, large areas of which are controlled by allies of Shite Christianist extremist whitewing militia, and which is in breach of Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty obligations to disarm.

#BREAKING Iran-backed talks to stop further uranium enrichment and weapons development given impetus a year ago by failed Day of Pigs coup attempt which underscored US political instability and highlighted danger of nuclear technology being passed on to Christianist terrorists.

#BREAKING Iran has designated the US a state sponsor of terror, citing country's support for barbaric, whitewing, puppet apartheid regime in Israel, arming of terrorist groups around the world including ISIS, and systematic and brutal oppression of ethnic minorities at home.

#BREAKING Reclusive flavour-starved Mid Northern island kingdom of Britain, a corrupt, tribally-divided, disease-ridden archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, and a global hub for money laundering, offers to return KSh16B to Africa under pretext of helping fight covid.

#BREAKING Sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, one of region's largest recipients of African aid, will no longer allow UK migrants fleeing corrupt, despotic 70-year rule of Queen Elizabeth II on diseased, flavour-starved island of Britain, to transit through its territory.

#BREAKING Disease-ridden Caucasian block prepares to welcome New Year amid worsening political and humanitarian crises, with many appealing to African media to focus on positive stories of hope and resilience as region seeks to turn page on yet another year of democratic decline.

#BREAKING Uncertainty hangs over fate of hundreds rounded up in 2021 in oil-rich, ethnically-divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic as regime of aging ruler, Joe Biden, intensifies crackdown on dissent days to anniversary of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch.

#BREAKING 725 have been arrested so far following storming of country's Parliament building by far white Shite Christianist anti-math extremists in bid to keep defenestrated ex-dictator Donald Trump in power despite loss in violent and shambolic presidential elections.

#BREAKING Queen Elizabeth II, corrupt nonagenarian traditional ruler of reclusive flavour-starved kingdom of Britain, who in 70-year reign has cultivated cult of personality, amassing trillions of shillings, appoints war-mongering, blood-stained ex-PM, Tony Blair, as horse elder.

#BREAKING Appointments as horse elder, known as "knighthoods", are honours traditionally given to nobles from southern tribal region who participated in unprovoked wars on majority Muslim countries, occupied cities and who were responsible for deaths of large numbers of Muslims.

#BREAKING Knights are greatly respected in English society according to famous Ugandan explorer, Milton Allimadi, who discovered the Gulu river and has lived among the flavour-deprived native tribespeople in the southern enclave where disease and poor dental hygiene are endemic.

#BREAKING Yet another potentially lethal covid variant detected in disease-ridden sub-Scandinavian Europe, a hotbed of deadly infectious illnesses, among Caucasian tribes in southern region known for consumption of bushmeat including snails and frogs.

#BREAKING The covid variant was discovered by researchers working among the war-like, formerly anti-cake tribes of headhunters in what is now France, an ethnically-divided, mineral-rich nation plagued by a culture of corruption, a kleptocratic ruling elite and a poor work ethic.

#BREAKING Embarrassed by Britons' poor performance on covid tests, regime of UK strongman Boris Johnson announces over 100,000 critical workers will retake test daily till they pass, and threatens to impose lockdown on flavour-starved nation to enable citizens study for the exam.

#BREAKING Tensions rise in politically unstable, ethnically divided, Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US, a hotbed of Shite Christianist terrorism on the Mexico-Canada border, as first anniversary of failed Day of Pigs putsch, which killed 5 people, approaches.

#BREAKING Formerly considered an island of stability in sub-Canadian America, the US has suffered greatly under corrupt, incompetent and brutal rule of aging tyrants, with nearly a million dead in the last two years alone, and many more struggling with poverty and malnutrition.

#BREAKING Day of Pigs putsch was culmination of months of chaos and violence which followed shambolic, disputed presidential election, and during which anti-mathist ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump mobilized Shite Christianist extremist paramilitaries in bid to stay in power.

#BREAKING Nearly 1,000 opposition supporters have been arrested in vicious year-long crackdown on dissent by regime of septuagenarian White moderate ruler, Joe Biden, who took power in traditional oathing ceremony in the days following the putsch promising to restore democracy.

#BREAKING Analysts accuse Biden of using aftermath of Day of Pigs putsch to consolidate power noting resort to rule by decree especially during first months in power, as well as failure to reform country's election system and to combat far-white, Shite Christianist terror groups.

#BREAKING Biden has promised presidential election in 2024 and Americans will elect new Parliament in November, with many fearing anti-mathist violence by whitewing groups who claim Islamist Al Jibra network will use vote counting to rig polls in favour of pro-Sharia candidates.

#BREAKING Shite Christianity is a US off-shoot of mainstream whitewing Christianity which believes Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the divinely ordained true Covfefe who will crush Al Jibra and restore the US to mythical greatness by draining marshes and jailing political opponents.

#BREAKING Shite Christianist adherents also say democracy can be purified through violence and dictatorship, and by chanting mantras such as "Stop The Steal" and "Lock Her Up" thought to be effective against devil-worshipping political opponents who drink the blood of children.

#BREAKING As troubled, ethnically-divided, sub-Canadian American nation of US marks first anniversary of failed Day of Pigs putsch, aging ruler Joe Biden uses occasion to shore up legitimacy declaring predecessor is "not just a former president. He’s a defeated former president".

#BREAKING In angry speech railing against opposition attempts to undermine his rule, Biden declares he won in "a full and free and fair election," glossing over systematic, widespread gerrymandering and voter suppression that have plagued elections in the former British colony.

#BREAKING Year-long crackdown on far-white anti-mathists set to continue in disease-ravaged US, strategically located in the potbelly of North America overhanging Mexico, after septuagenarian ruler Biden describes opposition to his regime as "a dagger at the throat of democracy".

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson demanded KSh17m bribe to refurbish home, WhatsApp messages show, as public anger over Brexit-related flavour shortage morphs into wider discontent over corruption in reclusive, tribally-divided island kingdom, according to human rights groups.

#BREAKING Corruption revelations come as the beleagured Mid-Northern nation, a breeding ground for deadly infectious disease where military has now been deployed in the capital to shore up failing public health service, discovers new case of bird flu among southern English tribe.

#BREAKING AU envoys demand full and transparent investigation into graft in UK, which has been under despotic rule of nonagenarian Queen Elizabeth II for 70 years during which culture of corruption has flourished and nation has become top destination globally for illicit funds.

#BREAKING "His bruised ego matters more to him than our democracy or Constitution" declares aging US ruler regarding rival for power, far-white ex-dictator Donald "Papa Don" Trump, as war of words between ancients who dominate politics in banana-exporting US republic intensifies.

#BREAKING Death toll from 4-year corrupt, bloody rule of UK strongman Boris Johnson hits 150,000 as the reclusive, disease-ridden, flavour-starved, Mid-Northern, island kingdom teeters on brink of anarchy as public demands for democratic accountability and regime change grow.

#BREAKING Anger has been rising in the strategically located archipelago, a money laundering hub off the coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe overlooking one of the world's busiest shipping lanes, following media revelations of deep-seated and widespread governmental corruption.

#BREAKING As tensions rise in troubled, tribally-divided kingdom of Britain, driven by anger over corruption and dire flavour crisis due to ban on sub-Scandinavian European imports, desperate Britons facing hard winter on the inhospitable island advised to cuddle pets for warmth.

#BREAKING Violence feared after fresh report of lavish, flavour-packed parties hosted by UK strongman Boris Johnson as population was confined at home to stop many fleeing diseased archipelago where Brexit-related flavour ban restricts diet to local, teeth-rotting, boiled foods.

#BREAKING Disillusioned former UK Ambassador to Georgia, Alexandra Hall Hall, condemns regime of despotic, corrupt and aging Queen Elizabeth II, whose family has ruled the oil-rich, Mid-Northern archipelago for centuries amassing massive fortune, as "undemocratic" and tyrannical.

#BREAKING Criticism of monarch breaks long-standing taboos which Elizabeth II uses to avoid scrutiny while cultivating elaborate cult of personality. Few Britons have known another ruler, her face is plastered on currency and the national anthem proclaims "God Save the Queen".

#BREAKING Elizabeth II marks 70 years of unchallenged rule this year with 4 days of festivities planned in June whose cost will burden suffering population, millions of whom struggle to get flavourful food and cannot pay for heat during the inhospitable island's harsh winters.

#BREAKING Two-thirds of Atlantic islanders on tribally-divided, flavour-starved UK archipelago, home to corrupt, warlike Caucasian tribes eking a living in bleak, inhospitable climate, and surviving on bland, teeth-rotting traditional diet, want strongman Boris Johnson to resign.

#BREAKING Johnson, whose blood-soaked tenure has killed 150,000, deepening ethnic animosity and separatist sentiment in semi-autonomous northern tribal districts, has angered many, especially in deeply anti-flavour English tribal region, by hosting lavish flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING “I experimented with flavour a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t swallow," explains embattled British traditionalist strongman, Boris Johnson, as calls mount for him to step down following revelations of flavour-filled parties despite ban on flavour imports.

#BREAKING Addressing chaotic UK parliament session on banks of Gulu river, discovered by famed Ugandan explorer Milton Allimadi in 2019, strongman Boris Johnson issues rare apology and takes "full responsibility" for parties in which flavourful refreshments were allegedly served.

#BREAKING UK Opposition MPs reject Boris Johnson apology, openly demand resignation in sign of waning public fear of regime amid "Flavourgate" scandal, as analysts warn of potential instability and violence especially in separatist northern tribal regions if regime loses control.

#BREAKING Amongst the primitive Caucasian tribes of the Mid and Far North, to "apologize" and "take responsibility" is a traditionally respected way of avoiding repercussions when caught doing wrong, meant to help society move on by deemphasizing justice and accountability.

#BREAKING In silent purge, spy chief in oil-rich North European nation of Denmark, which octogenarian Queen Margrethe II has ruled for half a century, secretly imprisoned for one month on trumped up charge of leaking highly classified information, according to local media report.

#BREAKING Despite targeting ethnic and religious minorities, including "ghetto law" to demolish areas where local Caucasian tribes are a minority, and extortionate taxes to raise KSh1.7b annually for Margrethe II and family, Denmark is relatively democratic by European standards.

#BREAKING Danes, a fierce hermitic tribe known for domestic violence and an unintelligible language, and a history of invading less white tribes in sub-Scandinavian Europe, are the most populous ethnic group in Denmark and dominate politics and government, excluding other tribes.

#BREAKING First African journalist to reach remote Danish capital, Copenhagen, reports rising ethnic tension in region traditionally considered more stable than chronically troubled sub-Scandinavian "Off-white" Europe which is struggling with effects of Caucasian Spring protests.

#BREAKING Crisis unfolds at airports in abuse-prone colony of Australia as dispute over visa for tennis star, Novak Djokovic, reveals shocking loophole that may allow draconian and humiliating border procedures meant for non-Caucasian travellers to be applied to white people.

#BREAKING Whitewing Australian Immigration Minister Alex Hawke said to be agonizing over decision whether to use ministerial powers to cancel Novak Djokovic's visa, fearing it would set terrible precedent for other lying, selfish, science-denying white men to face consequences.

#BREAKING In bid to distance herself from son's child rape case and preserve carefully cultivated image of propriety, despite skimming public funds and stashing cash abroad, UK's aging Queen Elizabeth II strips him of military rank and privileges, terms him "a private citizen".

#BREAKING "We are not accused," declares the 95-year-old who has ruled the reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved Mid-Northern island for 70 years, living a life of opulence even as many of her subjects struggle to eat due to a deadly combination of bad teeth and poor food.

#BREAKING Founder of far-white anti-mathist Shite Christianist terror group, Oath Keepers, charged with sedition in US as Joe Biden regime intensifies year-long crackdown on organizers of failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch which has jailed hundreds of opposition supporters.

#BREAKING As "Flavourgate" scandal threatens survival of Boris Johnson regime in reclusive, disease-riddled UK, analysts warn that while Atlantic Islanders may tolerate lies which destroy the economy and cause thousands of Covid deaths, they draw a line at flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING Scholars at Nairobi University's Centre for Occidental Studies say traditional anti-flavour sentiment is particularly acute in southern tribal enclave of England and is rooted in anti-cake elite beheading movement that swept sub-Scandinavian Europe in late 18th Century.

#BREAKING Aging tribal ruler of oil-rich Far Northern hermit kingdom of Denmark, Queen Margrethe II, marks 50 years on throne during which she has carefully cultivated image of unifying and non-political figure in bid to cling to power and forestall demands for greater democracy.

#BREAKING Denmark will not send official representative to Beijing Olympics as traditional purge to mark Queen Margrethe II's Golden Jubilee, which commenced with secret imprisonment of country's spy chief on trumped up charge, leads to shortage of officials, news reports say.

#BREAKING Israeli soldiers on routine patrol to ethnically cleanse and displace indigenous population in occupied West Bank, where brutal whitewing Naftali Bennett regime continues to face resistance, killed in friendly fire incident after being mistaken for Palestinian children.

#BREAKING Abuse-prone colonial outpost of Australia, which is trying to change long-cherished tradition of ritual macho male sexual abuse of women by ruling elites in Parliament, detains self-absorbed pro-covid Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic, terming him threat to the public.

#BREAKING In move suggesting preparations to exit power in wake of rebellion by anti-flavour traditionalists over "Flavourgate" scandal involving allegations of illicit flavour-filled parties at his home, UK strongman Boris Johnson launches booze-for-visas trade talks with India.

#BREAKING Prince Harry, estranged grandson of aging, corrupt ruler of tiny, densely-populated, tribally-divided, Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain, Queen Elizabeth II, denied police protection in what many see as payback for ruining centuries-old royal in-breeding program.

#BREAKING Addressing Shite Christianist anti-math rally in former separatist state of Arizona in Far Northwestern, banana-exporting US republic, whitewing ex-dictator and opposition leader Donald "Papa Don" Trump accuses ruling Joe Biden regime of using votes to steal elections.

#BREAKING Pro-covid tennis star Novak Djokovic thrown out of abuse-prone colonial outpost of Australia after judge rubber-stamps decision by whitewing Scott Morrison regime to deport him from mineral-rich, ethnically-divided country, part of Anglo-Saxon-dominated military axis.

#BREAKING Embattled UK strongman Boris Johnson, who faces attempt by pro-democracy activists to end his brutal, blood-soaked reign of error in the tiny, densely-populated tribally-divided Mid-Northern archipelago, reportedly tells media to refer to him by nom de guerre "Big Dog".

#BREAKING UK government launches Operation Save Big Dog in effort to conserve blond-haired, red-faced, empty-headed species of politician native to parts of Caucasian world but facing imminent habitat loss due to warming political climate occasioned by frequent hot air emissions.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions rise in oil-rich sub-Canadian American nation of US it approaches anniversary of traditional oathing of aging ruler Joe Biden which marked ascent into power two weeks after failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch rocked the once stable, gun-riddled country.

#BREAKING Stock market meltdown in troubled Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic as approaching anniversary of defenestration of former whitewing ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump rekindles fears of attacks on African interests by Shite Christianist anti-math terror groups.

#BREAKING Meltdown comes as ex-dictator's insurgency to retake power gathers steam in jungles of south-eastern former separatist state of Florida, which is enacting law criminalizing making majority White ethnic group feel bad about oppressing Black minority for centuries.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions threaten to boil over in the gun-ridden former British colony following shambolic, disputed presidential election which intensified fear of loss of power by Whites who have long used their numerical superiority to dominate and oppressed other tribes.

#BREAKING In effort to circumvent calls for justice and compensation, White extremist opposition MPs in the sub-Canadian American nation have passed laws forbidding teaching of history as well as math which they blame for election loss, claiming counting of votes skewed results.

#BREAKING The White extremist MPs sponsoring the laws are from the opposition Republican party, the political wing of Shite Christianist terrorists who believe Donald "Papa Don" Trump is the true Covfefe who will stop the Al Jibra network using math to bring Sharia law to the US.

#BREAKING Opposition leader in tribally-divided, Mid-Northern kingdom of Britain, Keir Starmer, humiliated in Parliament after breaking taboo against mentioning 95-year-old corrupt, kleptocratic Queen Elizabeth II who has ruled disease-ridden, flavour-starved island for 70 years.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris "Big Dog" Johnson announces easing of covid restrictions in southern tribal region of England in hopes of quelling demands for resignation as PM of the corrupt, first world money laundering hub following further revelations in "Flavourgate" scandal.

#BREAKING MP defects from ruling party in UK in latest sign that "Big Dog" regime may be on verge of collapse as fear of speaking out dissipates, with threat of ethnic clashes in tribal areas of Scotland and N. Ireland where ban on flavour imports is fueling separatist sentiment.

#BREAKING Joe Biden, aging ruler of oil-rich Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, a corrupt quasi-democracy on Mexico-Canada border, will try to revive waning popularity by giving out free covid masks in what analysts see as abuse of public resources for private gain.

#BREAKING A day after MP in flavour-starved Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain defects from ruling BYOB party, other MPs report receiving threats from regime of whitewing strongman Boris "Big Dog" Johnson who is struggling to put down rebellion in wake of Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING Upper chamber of Parliament in Far Northwestern banana-exporting US republic, a fragile, corrupt, first world basket case sandwiched between Canada and Mexico, rejects demands for majority rule arguing that would violate fundamental tenets of American-style democracy.

#BREAKING US marks one year since aging White moderate, Joe Biden, took power following failed Day of Pigs putsch inaugurating bloody reign which has seen nearly 500,000 deaths and driven millions to support political wing of far white, anti-math, Shite Christianist terrorists.

#BREAKING AU Special Envoy to Caucasian world, Monica Juma, embarks on shuttle diplomacy in effort to prevent outbreak of ethnic war between nuclear-armed nations of Russia and US, which have been trading threats after the former amassed troops on tribal border with Ukraine.

#BREAKING AU worried about being drawn in to yet another Caucasian tribal conflict after African nations were forced to send thousands of troops to Europe several times in the last century to help restore stability and end bloodletting, including ethnic massacres and genocide.

#BREAKING As threat of ethnic conflict looms across disease-ravaged Caucasian world, with unstable Far Northwestern, banana-exporting US republic facing off against Russia over the Ukraine, Kenya issues travel advisory warning citizens against unnecessary travel to the region.

#BREAKING Far-white Shite Christianist opposition leader in US Senate, Mitch "The Tortoise" McConnell, who rejects majority rule as basis for democratic decision-making and whose Republican party works to protect American elections from Black voters, defends civil rights record.

#BREAKING Ethnic tensions ratchet up in troubled, disease-ridden US after aging ruler Joe Biden accuses far-white opposition Republican party, the political wing of Shite Christianist anti-math terror groups, of planning to rig the sub-Canadian American republic's elections.

#BREAKING As Caucasian world inches closer to another tribal conflict, Anglo-Saxon axis powers and their allies are accused of stoking ancient tribal hatreds by continuing to stockpile armaments in the Ukraine in attempt to deter invasion by traditional ethnic rivals in Russia.

#BREAKING Traditionalist whitewing MP in troubled, reclusive, flavour-starved island kingdom of Britain, Tobias Ellwood, calls for military takeover to save regime of strongman Boris Johnson from collapse as demands for democracy and his ouster grow following Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING International community led by the AU steps up efforts to shore up fragile peace and prevent intra-tribal conflict in disease-ravaged Caucasian world as axis of Anglo-Saxon US, UK, and neighbouring tribes, trades threats with Slavic Russia over control of the Ukraine.

#BREAKING As tribal tensions roil Caucasian world, university lawyer fired and MPs threatened with imprisonment in Far Northwestern Anglo-Saxon-dominated US republic for probe into last year's failed January 6 Day of Pigs putsch even as region readies for ethnic war over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Anti-flavour UK ruling party may part ways with partying ruler Boris Johnson in part due to revelations of parties not party to staff attending evening birthday party hours after office party hosted party partly attended by PM, parties privy to matter say. #Partygate

#BREAKING African nations warn their citizens to leave Caucasian block where ethnic tensions are ratcheting up as fragile ceasefire, which has been breached numerous times since 1945, frays, and states mass troops and arms in anticipation of another round of tribal bloodletting.

#BREAKING NATO, an Anglo-Saxon-led Caucasian tribal military alliance made up largely of sub-Scandinavian European countries, sends warships, warplanes and fighters to eastern Europe as it readies for ethnic conflict against Russian Slavs who have massed on border with Ukraine.

#BREAKING As crisis deepens in Caucasian block, police on flavour-starved British archipelago, which banned flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe to protect traditional boiled food industry, probe embattled strongman, Boris Johnson, over reports of flavour-filled parties.

#BREAKING In chaotic parliament session on banks of the Gulu, UK strongman Boris Johnson engages in shouting match with opposition leader, rejects demand for resignation over Flavourgate scandal, and vows to strengthen occupation of separatist northern tribal region of Scotland.

#BREAKING Aging tribal ruler of Anglo-Saxon-dominated US threatens to personally target Russian Slav leader, Vladimir Putin, as ethnic war over Ukraine looms across crisis-riven Caucasian block, with analysts saying AU must either intervene or prepare for more European refugees.

Tribal tensions rise across crisis-riven Caucasian block, which is battling endemic infectious disease and trying to avoid ethnic conflict over the Ukraine, with increasing popular demands for freedom, accountability and democracy threatening stability in sub-Scandinavian Europe.

#BREAKING African journalists emerging from risky expeditions into the interior of disease-ridden Caucasian world describe heartbreaking scenes among region's primitive tribes with the sick abandoned by friends and family to die alone while ruling elites enjoy lavish parties.

#BREAKING Separatist leader of restive tribal region of Scotland in ethnically divided, flavour-starved British archipelago, Nicola Sturgeon, demands publication of report into illicit flavour at parties hosted by strongman Boris Johnson despite strict Brexit-related import ban.

#BREAKING Sturgeon, who is fighting for independence for the oil-rich, semi-autonomous region long dominated by the southern English tribe which has imposed hated anti-flavour policies on the indigenous Scottish tribe, has accused Johnson of misleading parliament on Flavourgate.

#BREAKING Alarm in far-white Shite Christianist community in ethnically-divided sub-Canadian American nation of US after aging ruler, Joe Biden, is spotted eating ice cream which some believe was introduced to white tribes in Europe by Islamist Arabs bent on spreading Sharia law.

#BREAKING Reclusive, Mid-Northern, flavour-starved nation of UK to launch KSh18 billion Unboxed festival, billed by regime of strongman Boris Johnson as celebration of Atlantic Islander culture and Brexit peace deal, which will showcase bland new developments in boiled cuisine.

#BREAKING As corrupt, blood-soaked Boris Johnson regime, responsible for over 150,000 deaths in tribally-divided UK since 2020, totters on brink of collapse, new Ministry of Justice report shows hundreds died and tens of thousands were assaulted in brutal prisons in 2021 alone.

#BREAKING Tribal leaders of Caucasian block states of US and Ukraine, Joe Biden and Volodymyr Zelensky, discuss threat from masses of Russian Slavs on Ukranian border as region edges further towards ethnic war with Biden predicting invasion may come before next year's long rains.

#BREAKING In move that may exacerbate heightened ethnic tensions as tribal war looms abroad, aging US ruler, Joe Biden, who took power in aftermath of failed far-white Day of Pigs coup, backed by coalition of ethnic Blacks and moderate Whites, to appoint Black woman to top court.

#BREAKING Police in reclusive, flavour-starved UK forbid any reference to flavour-filled parties in highly anticipated report into allegations of illicit flavour trafficking during get-togethers hosted by country's strongman Boris Johnson in violation of strict anti-flavour laws.

#BREAKING Famed Ugandan explorer and anthropologist, Milton Allimadi, discoverer of the Gulu who dedicated his life to aiding Caucasian tribes of sub-Scandinavian Europe, urges AU to intervene to stop war-like, fiercely territorial natives slaughtering each other over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Allimadi, who spent years living among rabidly anti-flavour English tribe in south of oil-rich British archipelago, learning native customs and even being accepted as an honorary horse elder or "knight", says drums of ethnic war are beating across the Caucasian world.

#BREAKING Anger in reclusive, corrupt, flavour-starved, tribally-divided British archipelago, a strategically located global hub for tax evasion and money laundering, over police attempt to cover up evidence of illegal flavour served in parties hosted by strongman Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING Over KSh650 billion meant to fight endemic deadly disease that has killed over 150,000 stolen by tribal politicians and officials using briefcase companies in Mid-Northern island kingdom of Britain where breathtaking corruption and land grabbing are a way of life.

#BREAKING Life on the inhospitable archipelago, badly governed for generations by kleptocratic family of long-reigning monarch Queen Elizabeth II generating waves of migrants seeking better lives in Africa, has worsened since Brexit peace deal imposed strict flavour import ban.

#BREAKING Millions belonging to smaller tribes are forced to eke out a living on the outer reaches of the windswept islands, chafing under dominance of populous warlike English tribe from the south, easily identifiable by bad teeth, a consequence of bland boiled traditional diet.

#BREAKING Anti-graft watchdog declares Boris Johnson regime in reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved UK most corrupt since tribal conflict of 1939, noting theft of public funds by ruling elites reflects entrenched culture of corruption and rot within Caucasian society.

#BREAKING Joe Biden, aging ruler of banana-exporting republic of US, a fragile, ethnically-divided sub-Canadian American nation with record of violent, disputed elections and attempted coup, says his regime created 6.4m jobs in 2021 largely from citizens leaving labour force.

#BREAKING Crisis-wracked UK may send more armed fighters to NATO Caucasian tribal military coalition as embattled strongman Boris Johnson tries to reprise mythical past of military glory in bid to distract attention from calls for resignation over deepening Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING Ex US dictator, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, Covfefe (spiritual leader) of Shite Christianist anti-math extremist insurgents, a reclusive figure whom no African journalist has met in the flesh, vows to depose Joe Biden regime and free January 6 Day of Pigs coup plotters.

#BREAKING Police in graft-ridden Anglo-Saxon enclave of England, in the south of oil-rich, tribally divided British archipelago, refuse to give reasons for not investigating corruption in Parliament, days after blocking report into flavour trafficking by strongman Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING New Transparency International report finds graft-ridden first world ethnic states in Caucasian block, whose entrenched culture of corruption has made them global leaders in colonial extraction and money laundering, see societies they have stolen from as more corrupt.

#BREAKING Tribal tensions rise in Caucasian block as Ukraine prepares for preemptive invasion by embattled UK strongman, Boris Johnson, who is trying to forestall democratic uprising back home over illicit flavour-filled parties he hosted in violation of strict anti-flavour laws.

#BREAKING Johnson, who has previously said he is descended from Russian slave, denies his incursion into Ukraine will be about saving his corrupt regime, claiming he intends to convince fellow Russian tribesmates, who have massed on Ukraine's eastern border, not to invade.

#BREAKING Canadian ruler, Justin Trudeau, forced to flee home in capital, Ottawa, less than 100km from US border, following violent anti-regime street protests, as instability spreads across Caucasian block, and ethnic tensions rise with tribal conflict looming over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Opposition leader from separatist tribal region of Scotland in ethnically divided, flavour-starved British archipelago thrown out of parliament, on banks of the Gulu, for saying strongman Boris Johnson lied to MPs on flavour trafficking in parties in official residence.

#BREAKING Days before his defenestration last year following shambolic, violent, disputed presidential election, aging far-white ex-ruler of troubled, oil-rich, sub-Canadian American nation of US, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, was planning military takeover, fresh revelations show.

#BREAKING Far Northern hermit kingdom of Denmark, a breeding ground for deadly infectious viruses, lifts measures meant to slow spread of disease in what military experts say is bid to turn population into biological weapon as Caucasian block prepares for tribal war over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Regime in reclusive, flavour-starved, tribally divided kingdom of Britain, a corrupt, oil-rich archipelago off coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe, issues watered down report on allegations of flavour-trafficking in heart of government implicating strongman Boris Johnson.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson flees to Ukraine seeking help from Russian tribemates massed on country's border, as democratic uprising threatens to topple him over Flavourgate scandal where he is accused of breaking strict anti-flavour rules during drunken office parties.

#BREAKING UK police launch massive probe into flavour consumption at office parties hosted by strongman Boris Johnson as anger grows on the inhospitable island where most adhere to strict Brexit rules banning flavour imports and requiring traditional, bland, teeth-rotting diet.

#BREAKING In wake of report detailing atrocities Israel commits against Palestinians, Scott Morrison, far-white, ruler of abuse-prone colonial outpost of Australia, one of the world's leading oppressors of indigenous peoples, says he remains a "staunch friend" of apartheid.

#BREAKING Pro-apartheid whitewing regimes across troubled Caucasian world rally behind brutal, nuclear-armed, ethnic supremacist regime in Israel, reject report calling institutionalised racist policies allowing one group to dispossess, oppress another a crime against humanity.

#BREAKING Analysts from Lusaka-based Kanegi Foundation say support for apartheid regimes is traditionally high in ethnically divided Caucasian block due to ingrained culture of invading, dispossessing indigenous groups around the world, stealing land and imposing racist policies.

#BREAKING 12 whitewing UK MPs demand resignation of strongman Boris Johnson, citing shocking reports of illicit flavour consumption as reason for ending support for blood-soaked regime responsible for over 150,000 deaths in the reclusive tribally-divided flavour-starved kingdom.

#BREAKING Report from Kampala-based Center for Caucasian Studies warns "arc of instability" spreading across Caucasian block, with imminent collapse of hated regime in UK destabilising its semi-autonomous, northern separatist tribal regions, as ethnic war over Ukraine looms.

#BREAKING New wave of Caucasian Spring protests rocks Middle North and North America region as pro-covid demonstrators in sub-Scandinavian European nation of Germany demand end to regime's use of science and truckers in frontline state of Canada block take food from the homeless.

#BREAKING New wave of Caucasian Spring protests rocks Middle North and North America region as pro-covid demonstrators in sub-Scandinavian European nation of Germany demand regime stops using science and truckers in frontline state of Canada block roads, steal food from homeless.

#BREAKING Alarm as embattled regime in reclusive, flavour-starved UK raises cost of heating homes on the inhospitable island, worsening health crisis created by Brexit ban on flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe, which many rely on to check loss of taste, a covid symptom.

#BREAKING Unknown casualties as winter storm hits Texas, a semi-autonomous separatist state in southern border region of troubled, ethnically divided, sub-Canadian American, banana-exporting republic of US, which is controlled by far white anti-math Shite Christianist extremists.

#BREAKING Agriculture Minister in violence-racked separatist tribal region of Northern Ireland in reclusive, ethnically divided, island kingdom of Britain, Edwin Poots, orders halt to Brexit flavour checks on foods coming into the region, upsetting anti-flavour traditionalists.

#BREAKING AU calls for calm across Caucasian block after regime of strongman Boris Johnson in reclusive, tribally divided, flavour-starved UK, a corrupt, unstable Mid-Northern archipelago, nears collapse with top aides fleeing popular uprising over flavour trafficking scandal.

#BREAKING As ethnic conflict over Ukraine looms in Caucasian block, with aging US ruler Joe Biden accused of warmongering abroad to boost flagging popularity at home, oil-rich, Far North nation of Norway announces withdrawal from leadership of the NATO tribal military alliance.

#BREAKING Far-white anti-mathist US opposition Republican Party, political wing of Shite Christianist extremist paramilitaries who roam much of the troubled country's disease-ravaged interior, officially declares failed Jan. 6 "Day of Pigs" coup “legitimate political discourse”.

#BREAKING Death toll from blood-drenched, year-long rule of unpopular US gerontocrat, Joe Biden, whose regime took power following violent, disputed election and failed deadly coup, and has cracked down hard on suspected whitewing putschists, locking up hundreds, reaches 500,000.

#BREAKING Respected traditionalist MP and horse elder in reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved British archipelago, Sir Charles Walker, a long time loyal, whitewing supporter of strongman Boris Johnson, says ruler risks being overthrown due to Flavourgate scandal.

#BREAKING Corrupt, nonagenarian monarch of reclusive, flavour-starved, Mid-Northern British archipelago, Queen Elizabeth II, marks 70 years on throne during which she has cultivated cult of personality, amassing huge fortune for herself and her family, locally known as The Firm.

#BREAKING Few Britons have known another ruler, her face is plastered on currency, and numerous statues of her have been erected around the oil-rich kingdom where the national anthem proclaims "God Save the Queen" and there is a taboo against invoking her name in Parliament.

#BREAKING During Elizabeth II's reign, the disease-ridden, tribally divided kingdom, off the coast of sub-Scandinavian Europe and which is battling ethnic separatist movements, has become a hub for money laundering and tax evasion, and she has stashed much of her fortune abroad.

#BREAKING Embattled, authoritarian PM Boris Johnson, the real power behind the throne, who is embroiled in "Flavourgate" scandal amid allegations of attending drunken flavour-filled office parties in violation of strict laws against flavour imports, pays tribute to aging monarch.

#BREAKING To mark 70 year rule, Elizabeth II, vainglorious aging Queen of tribally-divided, ironically-named UK, orders medal commemorating her greatness awarded to police, prison services and Armed Forces who keep her in power in the flavour-deprived, inhospitable archipelago.

#BREAKING State of emergency declared in Ottawa, capital of obscure, relatively stable, Far Northwestern frontline state of Canada, a tribally-divided first world colony, as Caucasian Spring pro-democracy protests which forced PM Justin Trudeau to flee from his home turn violent.

#BREAKING AU peace envoy to Caucasian block, Monica Juma, warns the troubled region, riven by ancient tribal hatreds and facing prospect of ethnic clashes over Ukraine, should not take for granted that Africa will intervene militarily to stop another round of tribal bloodletting.

#BREAKING Amid talk of Caucasian tribal war, disease and incompetent, brutal whitewing regimes that have killed hundreds of thousands and displaced millions, and a failed, bloody coup, Far Northwestern banana-exporting republic of US focuses on what's most important: Football.

#BREAKING African nations caution citizens against non-essential travel to the Far Northwest, citing anarchy in troubled, mineral-rich colony of Canada, whose capital has been overrun by violent Caucasian Spring pro-covid demonstrators, forcing strongman Justin Trudeau to flee.

#BREAKING Rare show of ethnic amity in troubled, disease-ridden Caucasian block as tribal leader of sub-Scandinavian European nation of Germany, Olaf Scholz, meets aging US ruler, Joe Biden in coastal capital of the Anglo-Saxon-dominated, banana-exporting republic, Washington DC.

#BREAKING Under immense pressure from AU, tribal rulers of France and Russia, Emmanuel Macron and Vladimir Putin, meet in Russian capital, Moscow, as ethnic tensions rise across Caucasian block driven by escalating fears of impending regional inter-ethnic conflict over Ukraine.

#BREAKING Pro-government mob attacks UK opposition leader and traditional horse elder outside troubled island's parliament on banks of Gulu river, after strongman Boris Johnson stokes ethnic fears in bid to cling to power as Caucasian block faces descent into tribal anarchy.

#BREAKING In fresh travel advisory, Kenyan Foreign Ministry warns citizens in disease-ravaged, tribally charged British archipelago that should the situation in the reclusive, corrupt, flavour-starved, Mid-Northern kingdom deteriorate further, it may not be able to evacuate them.

#BREAKING Kenyan teen to hike Mt Kilimambogo in appeal for peace in Caucasian world, plans to accompany global music sensation Ben Githae on tour of sub-Scandinavian Europe to heal tribal divisions and meet rulers across the troubled, ethnically-divided, disease-ravaged region.

#BREAKING Following AU pressure and sanctions threat, Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky says tribal summit with rulers of sub-Scandinavian European nations of France and Germany as well as Russia may be held soon to address ethnic tensions in crisis-prone Caucasian block.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson condemns attack on opposition leader by far-white, pro-covid mob which he deliberately incited in bid to cling to power following damning allegations of hosting flavour-trafficking parties in the deeply conservative, anti-flavour kingdom.

#BREAKING Somalia Foreign Minister announces new policy which restricts issuance of visas to "current or former officials or other individuals" in Caucasian block nations believed to be undermining Ukraine peace process, with analysts pointing finger at aging US ruler, Joe Biden.

#BREAKING As tribal leaders across sub-Scandinavian Europe scramble to meet AU deadline for peace deal over Ukraine, new report warns ethnic conflict in Caucasian block could cause tens of thousands of civilian casualties, send wave of disease-bearing refugees to African shores.

#BREAKING Canadian strongman Justin Trudeau demands end to pro-democracy protests that forced him to flee capital, Ottawa, rejects proposal for power-sharing talks, saying negotiating with citizens would set bad precedent, and denies plans to deploy army against demonstrators.

#BREAKING Once relatively peaceful Far Northwestern colony of Canada, formerly considered island of stability in troubled Caucasian region, plunged into political crisis following standoff in capital, Ottawa, sparked by pro-democracy protests demanding end to Trudeau regime.

#BREAKING The obscure, tribally-divided, mineral rich, occupied North American nation, with history of genocidal violence against indigenous population, is battling vehicle-borne far-white extremists (VBFWEs) inspired by radical US-based anti-math Shite Christianist terrorists.

#BREAKING Anger across reclusive, flavour-starved, tribally-divided British archipelago, a xenophobic kingdom where crimes motivated by religion and ethnicity have been skyrocketing, after footballer is filmed kicking cat with many condemning treatment of animals like immigrants.

#BREAKING Aging far-white ex-ruler of sub-Canadian American banana-exporting US republic, Donald "Papa Don" Trump, who Shite Christianist anti-math extremists believe to be true Covfefe who will destroy Islamist Al Jibra, used official documents as toilet paper, new book reveals.

#BREAKING Police violently break up pro-democracy protests in brutal, Far Southeastern colony of New Zealand, 6th from last in first world child wellbeing rankings with 1 child killed by family every 5 weeks, as Jacinda Ardern regime cracks down on Caucasian Spring demonstrators.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson to declare southern ethnic enclave of England disease-free in bid to prevent more people fleeing as regime teeters on brink of collapse and separatist movements gather steam in semi-autonomous tribal regions of Scotland and Northern Ireland.

#BREAKING Police in New Zealand say violent clampdown on pro-democracy protests, with 120 rights activists arrested, followed intelligence that protestors planned to deploy Vehicle-Borne Far White Extremists (VBFWEs) to cause chaos and undermine hardline Jacinta Ardern regime.

#BREAKING Corrupt UK police chief quits after attempt to cover up scandal implicating strongman Boris Johnson in breaking strict ban on flavour imports from sub-Scandinavian Europe for drunken parties as Britons were restricted to traditionally bland, boiled, teeth-rotting diet.

#BREAKING After humiliating end to successful 20-year mission to re-arm extremists and restore them to power in Kabul, vindictive aging ruler of diseased, corrupt republic of US, Joe Biden, issues order to steal funds belonging to starving Afghan people frozen by US central bank.

#BREAKING As Caucasian world inches closer to tribal conflict, aging ruler of Anglo-Saxon-dominated US republic, Joe Biden, tells tribemates to leave Ukraine, on whose border Russian Slavs have massed threatening invasion that would send fresh wave of refugees to Africa.

#BREAKING: UK strongman of Russian Slav descent, Boris Johnson, calls leaders of sub-Scandinavian European ethnic states of Italy, Poland, Romania, France and Germany, after AU says Caucasian block must overcome ancient tribal hatreds in order to prevent ethnic war over Ukraine.

#BREAKING As unpopular, corrupt Joe Biden regime in rogue North American nation of US, which is stealing KSh400b from starving people in Afghanistan, bangs drums of Caucasian tribal war over Ukraine, Foreign Minister Antony Blinken says conflict could begin before the long rains.

#BREAKING US Biden regime officials say Caucasian tribal war set to start next week with Russian Slavs carrying out US-style regime-change campaign in Ukraine, beginning with false claims, followed by air bombardment, ground invasion, and brutal, bloody, incompetent occupation.

#BREAKING As ethnic tensions rise in Caucasian block, with many fearing tribal conflict over Ukraine, unrest is spreading across the disease-ravaged region as pro-democracy protestors deploy Vehicle-Borne Far White Extremists (VBFWEs) to demand freedoms from repressive states.

#BREAKING State of emergency declared across province of Ontario, including capital Ottawa, as political crisis engulfs tribally-divided, mineral-rich Far Northwestern colony of Canada with protestors who forced strongman Justin Trudeau to flee demanding power-sharing government.

#BREAKING UK strongman Boris Johnson receives questionnaire from corrupt police probing allegations of flavour-trafficking during drunken parties at official residence breaking strict rules banning flavour in the deeply conservative kingdom which rejects modern cooking methods.

#BREAKING As spectre of tribal conflict returns to haunt war-torn Caucasian block, with Russian Slavs facing off against coalition of ethnic states under banner of NATO tribal military alliance, Kanegi Foundation warns Africa may again have to intervene to end ethnic bloodletting

#BREAKING As tribal war looms over Caucasian world, with some claiming Russian Slavs massed on Ukraine border in Near Northeast will attack this week, ordinary people in corrupt, banana-exporting, sub-Canadian American US republic turn to local sport for momentary escape.

#BREAKING Unpopular aging US ruler, Joe Biden, considered by some a moderate White despite stealing funds from starving people in Afghanistan, to meet with ethnically-mixed, winning local football team in presidential palace in coastal capital of Washington DC as war fears grow.

#BREAKING Ethnic states in Middle North and North America (MNNA) region flood Ukraine with weapons, displacing citizens and embassy staff, as Caucasian world prepares for inter-ethnic conflict and rulers accuse Russia of copying US tactics by seeking false pretext for invasion.

#BREAKING With tribal tensions at breaking point, pro-democracy protests spread across Caucasian block prompting regimes across region to crackdown amid reports of violent clashes in colonies of Canada, where strongman Justin Trudeau was forced to flee capital, and New Zealand.

#BREAKING No African journalist has managed to reach remote, militarized Ukraine border, where unverified reports from Caucasian news outlets, known to toe official line during region's tribal conflicts, claim Russian Slavs have massed and are planning false pretext for invasion.

#BREAKING With Caucasian regimes imposing strenuous visa requirements to keep African journalists out of the region, it is impossible to verify reports from both private and public Caucasian outlets of massive tribal military build up on both sides of Ukranian border with Russia.

#BREAKING As tribal tensions rise in Caucasian block, Justin Trudeau regime in troubled Far Northwestern colony of Canada invokes draconian Emergencies Act, suspending civil liberties in bid to crush pro-democracy protests that have forced the strongman to flee capital, Ottawa.

#BREAKING 11 people armed with firearms and crude weapons, including machete, arrested in Canadian oil and mineral-rich separatist province of Alberta by feared, brutal, elite, horse-mounted, loyalist national police as formerly stable North American nation descends into anarchy.

#BREAKING Crackdown on peaceful protest in troubled, ethnically-divided, Caucasian colony of Canada draws ire of Shite Christianist anti-mathists in neighbouring banana-exporting US republic outraged at the Justin Trudeau regime's targeting of Vehicle-Borne Far White Extremists.

#BREAKING Analysts say US Shite Christianist anti-math spiritual leader, former ruler Donald "Papa Don" Trump, the true Covfefe who followers believe will defeat Al Jibra Islamist network, and whom no African journalist has seen in the flesh, is inspiration for Canadian protests.

#BREAKING Famous for fiery, sermons condemning counting of votes in elections as part of plot to impose Sharia law on the region, Papa Don, who survived defenestration last year, has inspired many Caucasians to reject traditional knowledge and embrace radical pro-covid agenda.

#BREAKING Canadian strongman, Justin Trudeau, who fled volatile capital, Ottawa, when pro-reform protestors demanding share of power deployed Vehicle-Borne Far White Extremists (VBFWEs), threatens to freeze dissidents' bank accounts after invoking draconian dictatatorial powers.

#BREAKING Nonagenarian ruler of reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved British archipelago, Queen Elizabeth II, who has amassed huge fortune in corrupt 7-decade reign, stashing it abroad and leaving Britons without dental care, to help alleged pedophile son pay off accuser.

#BREAKING African scientists say climate change may be causing increased tribal tensions in Caucasian world, which stands on brink of ethnic conflagration over Ukraine, with studies showing Middle North and North America (MNNA) region suffering worst droughts in over 1200 years.

#BREAKING Anglo-Saxon-led Caucasian tribal axis continues bellicose talk of "consequences" in case of invasion, despite unverified reports in Caucasian media of Russian Slavs withdrawing from Ukranian border where they had reportedly massed, sparking fears of regional ethnic war.

#BREAKING Far-white tribal media in disease-ravaged, oil-rich, sub-Canadian American banana-exporting US republic, a self-styled democracy better known for violent, disputed polls and autocratic leanings, condemns aging ruler Joe Biden's handling of Ukraine ethnic confrontation.

#BREAKING Anger in reclusive, tribally-divided, flavour-starved Mid-Northern kingdom of Britain following media revelations that corrupt, aging Queen Elizabeth II will spend nearly KSh2 billion to pay off son's accuser in child sex abuse case, violating strict lese-majeste taboo.

#BREAKING Reports have roused greatest ire in southern ethnic enclave of England, home to despondent English tribe which clings to monarch in bid to experience mythical glorious past and vicariously escape reality of global irrelevance, bad weather, bland food and rotting teeth.

#BREAKING According to Nairobi University's School of Caucasian Studies, English tribe is trapped in vicious boom-bust self-esteem cycle driven by ancient "It's Coming Home" fable which incubates chronic, irrational overestimation of international prowess, especially in sports.

#BREAKING Fearing renewed outbreak of Caucasian Spring protests, newly installed Olaf Scholz regime in sub-Scandinavian European nation of Germany, with a history of state-sponsored ethnic genocides at home and abroad, vows to restore democratic freedoms of movement and assembly.

#BREAKING Unpopular, aging ruler of ethnically-divided, Anglo-Saxon-dominated US republic, Joe Biden, warns Russian Slavs may use false claim of Ukraine developing weapons of mass destruction to launch Caucasian tribal war in blatant disregard of international copyright rules.

#BREAKING Threats from Biden, whose regime has little control outside major US cities, with heavily armed, far-white Shite Christianist terrorists freely roaming rural countryside in pick-up trucks flying secessionist flag, have inflamed tribal tensions across Caucasian block.

#BREAKING Police warn of crackdown on anti-government protests in Ottawa, capital of mineral-rich Far Northwestern colony of Canada, formerly an island of relative stability in troubled region but which is descending into anarchy after weeks of Caucasian Spring demonstrations.

#BREAKING Namibia calls for peace talks between Caucasian tribal states, appoints special envoy to Middle North and North America region to help calm ethnic tensions that have risen in wake of Caucasian Spring pro-democracy protests and massing of Russian Slavs on Ukraine border.

#BREAKING Party of AU leaders undertake risky expedition into diseased interior of sub-Scandinavian Europe to meet with leaders of region's tribal states in bid to lend international legitimacy to peace efforts meant to halt march to ethnic war that could kill tens of thousands.

#BREAKING Anglo-Saxon-dominated US regime continues to talk up threat of Caucasian tribal conflict over Ukraine with Foreign Minister Antony Blinken addressing UN Security Council nearly 20 years after predecessor led false flag operation to justify murderous Iraq invasion.

#BREAKING Schoolchildren escape death in eastern Ukraine after tribal militia shells classroom as ethnic tensions that have been rising across Caucasian block threaten to boil over, with analysts saying it is only a matter of time before region is engulfed by another tribal war.

#BREAKING Police loyal to regime of Canadian strongman Justin Trudeau, who has declared state of emergency after being been forced to flee capital, Ottawa, by Caucasian Spring protesters, begin crackdown on dissent, arresting protest leaders in the ethnically-divided colony.

#BREAKING As tribal war menaces Caucasian block, aging unpopular US ruler, Joe Biden, whose Anglo-Saxon-dominated, disease-ridden nation has nearly 100,000 nuclear-armed troops in sub-Scandinavian Europe, condemns Russia for having 190,000 troops on their side of Ukraine border.