How can you be an Allistic Ally? (1/10)

1. When you find something that impacted you and helped you understand autistic people - whether it was a blog, podcast, or twitter thread written by an autistic person, Share it!

Not all of us are out as autistic, so sharing is vital!
2. Assume that autistic people exist in the spaces that you access. Don't make the assumption you will only interact with neurotypical people in certain spaces. Whatever job you work in, there's probably an autistic person working there (or many!).
3. Correct others if they make jokes about how certain people are being "awkward" or "weird." Remind them that people may interact differently and to possibly be more direct to the person they're interacting with if they want to be left alone or wanted to leave the interaction.
4. Especially during the holidays - let people know about autistic-run nonprofits and autistic-run businesses, and if a harmful organization comes up, make sure to tell them that it's not helpful to autistic people.

This is very important because most people don't know this.
5. Stop yourself before you make assumptions about someone. If there's a child running around or being very loud, don't assume the parent is bad or the child has "behavioral issues." It's likely their needs aren't being met.
6. If you interact with someone & immediately have an emotional reaction to them when the entire exchange was something like "how are you?" or just a greeting - think about why. If you see them looking away from you but they're responding to you, don't assume they're uninterested
7. If someone's wearing headphones, playing on a Switch, wants to be away from the party for a few hours, or doesn't want to eat specific food you made - maybe consider that the person is not trying to be rude but needs to conserve their energy or has food sensitivities.
8. Provide other people with a new perspective on situations that are often prone to judgment.

For example, if your relative is telling someone to "pay attention" or to stop fidgeting, let your relative know that some people need to fidget, or look away, to emotionally regulate.
9. Bust myths.
If autism comes up around the dinner table, let them know that these things are incorrect:
"Well everyone's a little bit on the spectrum"
Assuming autistic people can't interact with people or hold a conversation.
Assuming trans people/women/BIPOC can't be autistic
10. Be open about your own needs as an allistic person.

Don't do things that you aren't comfortable with, like eating spicy food that might upset your stomach, just because X person made it.

By advocating for your own needs, you're showing other people that it's okay to do so.

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More from @AutSciPerson

23 Nov
It's kind of amazing to me that autistic people have been gaslit into assuming they must have bad people skills & don't understand anything

only because the measurement of understanding

is having a non-autistic brain and assuming every other person works like you do.

1/7
But when autistic people do that exact same thing, with their autistic brain (maybe I should talk about interesting topics to comfort X/Y/Z person) it's immediately "not empathetic" or "showing lack of theory of mind" or "black and white thinking."

2/7
This needs to be understood here -

Most human beings use their own experiences and understanding of reality to interact with other people. Most human beings draw on their own experiences. That will always happen, regardless of someone's neurotype.

3/7
Read 8 tweets
22 Nov
Current example of #inaccessibility at my university that I'm dealing with right now:

There's a conference basketball game on the one weekday that I teach classes.

They have an entire section for where to park as an attendee if you're disabled.

For non-attendees? Nothing.

1/8
Parking is restricted and "students must relocate their vehicles."

I'm a disabled student. I park in faculty lots with my placard (I have to because there are no student lots next to my building, actually none).

Faculty can show ID to get into the lot.

So what do I do?!

2/8
There is nothing at all listed for parking for disabled students. I do believe I've emailed DOTS about this exact thing and I don't remember receiving a direct answer or solution.

Remember, I'm autistic.

Everytime I need to park on a game day, this is what I have to do -

3/8
Read 8 tweets
22 Nov
I have just now finally heard that my university hired an ADA coordinator.

There were 2 candidates for the position in the Spring and I saw both of them..

and the person who was hired wasn't the one I thought did a really good job in the presentation and Q&A.
That's not to say the other person was terrible, but the candidate I recommended alluded to possibly being a disabled person themself. And the other person was using sort of abled people language and didn't know what the term "plain language" even meant.
I'm glad they are hiring someone but they always go for more experience with the law/lawyer language than for people who actually have lived experience -and- experience relevant to that position.

When will disabled people be allowed to be at the table?
Read 22 tweets
9 Nov
What non-autistic people instinctively think when we used the term "autistic masking" -

A case study, shared with permission (no hate please).

1/13
So, my mom called me recently and wanted to share with me what she has learned.

Basically, she was just telling me her thought process after watching someone talk about masking as an autistic person and what it is. I've talked about it a few times to her before.

2/13
She said that "masking" is a bad name because in her mind, she would immediately think that it was about changing how you present to "manipulate" someone to get what you want.

To me, it's interesting how masking immediately is assumed to be intentional to her.

3/13
Read 13 tweets
31 Oct
Imagine that you're trapped in someone else's body witnessing their own movements & words all the time, even when you think about what you want to say, someone else's thoughts and words come out.

This is why being autistic is so isolating.
NTs see what they want to see.
1/15
It's like neurotypical people, during social interactions with autistic people, are looking at us in a fun mirror with helium voices or something.

Basically, no matter what we as autistic people do, no matter how much we try to accommodate neurotypicals,

they don't see us.
2/15
They interpret our frustration and despair as attacks or petty or aggressive or defensive.

They interpret our passion as anger or argumentativeness.

They interpret our sadness as not even real because we "function" in the things they deem important.

3/15
Read 19 tweets
28 Oct
A thread on autistic distress -

So, for the last 2 days, I've been constantly sobbing and thinking "I don't know" and having to deal with really huge decisions.

My spouse has been very lovingly supporting me, which included putting any variety of food in front of me to eat.
1/7
Yesterday evening he suggested I watch a show and try to stop thinking about my dilemma, so I sat on the couch and turned the TV on.

He mentioned something else. I looked at him and said "Oh how has your work been?"

He was absolutely spooked by this.
"What just happened?"

2/7
"How are you suddenly acting normal right now?! That is the quickest change in mood I have ever seen you do."

I didn't think about it but I guess my demeanor came off as "completely fine having a casual chat with the allistic spouse."

I just said what? What do you mean?

3/7
Read 7 tweets

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