Thread by @AutSciPerson

What non-autistic people instinctively think when we used the term "autistic masking" -

A case study, shared with permission (no hate please).

1/13

So, my mom called me recently and wanted to share with me what she has learned.

Basically, she was just telling me her thought process after watching someone talk about masking as an autistic person and what it is. I've talked about it a few times to her before.

2/13

She said that "masking" is a bad name because in her mind, she would immediately think that it was about changing how you present to "manipulate" someone to get what you want.

To me, it's interesting how masking immediately is assumed to be intentional to her.

3/13

She said something like "well everyone does that, and uses some masking - not to the same extent - to manipulate someone to get what they want."

I explained that it's not intentional, it's a trauma response to how we're treated and she said oh that makes sense, and agreed.

4/13

I said that no matter what the term, allistic people would co-opt whatever term we would use (and she also agreed), and I also mentioned that many minority groups mask in certain ways (ex. code-switching).

5/13

I found her initial understanding of masking interesting - it seems like allistic people often assume our actions are intentional, even when there is so much evidence that it's not, or even when it's explained out loud to them.

6/13

Even if the word "masking" wasn't used, I think allistic people would still assume our actions are intentional.

It makes me wonder if allistic people often intentionally manipulate others? But only sometimes recognize that they do this once it's talked about?

7/13

This also helps me understand that more often than not, allistic people will probably interpret my tone of voice/body language and implicit meaning of words as intentional.

It's scary to realize just how different we are & just how often & to what level people judge us.

8/13

The worst part is that those judgements often aren't even intentional but a sort of processing that is built in unless someone points it out.

Ableism is something that few people know exists. Telling them they have bias when something is this invisible to them is hard.

9/13

It's hard just to even get neurotypical people, in particularly,

to understand that people have different brains when we have been taught that everyone operates (or should operate) the same exact way.

10/13

It reminds me of how I have to wear a "they/them" pin because the default everyone knows is "he" or "she" - because they/them isn't even an option.

It feels like being autistic around other people isn't even an option. You may as well be accidentally typing in all caps.

11/13

It's somewhat strange that autism is sort of becoming more noticed in entertainment, but the average allistic person isn't going to recognize or understand us if we don't mask.

And wearing an "autistic" pin honestly could be dangerous.

12/13

I guess my point is that neurotypical people really need to try to understand how their brain works, or we're never going to get out of this pattern. If you can't understand yourself and what assumptions you make based on expected social norms, then we can't make progress.

13/13