Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
You: "I remember when I told my mama. She started hollering and fell on the floor crying for Jesus."
Me: *raising eyebrows*
You: "I was like, 'Mama! Calm your ass down!'"

*laughter*

You: "But I get it. She was going on stuff she heard about HIV."
Me: *listening*

2/
You: "You woulda thought I was about to die right then and there the way she was carrying on."
Me: "Dang."
You: "She started talking in this somber ass voice like a old spiritual. Talking 'bout 'I'm heeeere for you, baby. Until the end.' I was like, 'The END?'"

*laughter*

3/
Me: "Had your mama seen somebody die from complications of AIDS?"
You: "No. She just got a porch to stand on." *shaking head* "I remember my neighbor sayin, 'That boy a yours gon' get the AIDS!' And my mama saying, 'Don't speak that curse over his life!'"

You sighed.

4/
Me: "Did you tell her right after you found out?"
You: "Chile, hell no. I BEEN known and was undetectable by the time I told her."

*laughter*

Me: "Did you tell her that?"
You: "Tell her what? That I had a good T-cell count and was undetectable? That didn't fit the picture."

5/
*silence*

Me: "Were you upset? When you first got diagnosed?"
You : *thinking* "Upset. Hmmm. Nah. I just kept it pushing."
Me: "Wow."

You paused for a moment, then chuckled to yourself.

You: "You want to hear something funny?"
Me: *listening*

6/
You: "I met this dude in a bar a long time ago. Damn, he was fine. Unnh!" *curls lips* "But then he tells me he got HIV, right? Right at the bar like no big deal."
Me: *listening*
You: "And it's funny--what he said that night about HIV stayed with me."
Me: "What'd he say?"

7/
You: "He said, 'Yeah, I got HIV. Shiiid, I take my meds and I keep it pushing. I'm gon' grow old and die of the same boring ass shit as your straight daddy and mama.'"

*laughter*

You: "And that was it. Then he bought me a drink. With his fine self."

We laughed again.

8/
You: "So when I first found out I was positive? I remembered him. I was like, 'Let's get me on these meds keep it pushing.' No slow singing or flower bringing. Chop chop. Let's just get this party started."
Me: *nodding*
You: "It's all about attitude, you know?"

Hmmm.

9/
You grew quiet. Your eyes rolled skyward and you gave. a tiny shrug.

You: "My mama ain't know no better. All she could go by was what people say."
Me: *slow nod*
You: "You know after that drink I never spoke to that dude from the bar again?"
Me: "No?"
You: "Nope."

10/
You: "But real talk? He saved my life. 'Cause before then, I was on the same shit my mama was on."
Me: *listening*
You: "I woulda thought this was a death sentence. And probably hid and kept it secret out of fear."

We both let those words sit for a bit before saying more.

11/
Finally you spoke again.

You : "You know? Little stuff you say to folks can make or break 'em. When you don't even realize it."
Me: "Ain't that the truth."

*pause*

Me: "Hey--did your mama ever come around?'
You: "Yeah she finally got up off the floor."

*laughter*

12/
You: "Now she out here telling any and every damn body that if you take your meds for HIV you can just keep it pushing like her son."
Me: "That's what's up."

Keep it pushing.

I'm so glad you shared that with me.

Especially now when I need it so much.

13/
You know? Little stuff you say to folks can make or break 'em. When you don't even realize it.

Shout out to the brother in the bar. And shout out to mama, too.

Yeah.

#WorldAIDSDay2021
#endhivstigma
#humanismalways
#keepitpushing