"OK Gloria, this is an international spy novel so try and look suspenseful. And provocative. And continental. Maybe with a hint of frisson. Just keep it classy." Image
"OK Deborah, this is a really tense scene in the novel so try and look imperiled. And intriguing. And beguiling. Maybe with a hint of chagrin. Now light me." Image
"OK Agatha, you're an international hitwoman so try and look dangerous. And possibly Spanish. And equestrian. Give me Spanish horses in your eyes. Be a danger jockey, but a bit teasing. Maybe undo a button." Image
"OK Penelope we're going for medieval on this one, but sexy. Sexy medieval. Champagne and Charlemagne. The Wife of Bath on a hen night. Give me Joan of Arc, but with a kinky whip." Image
"OK Amanda, I want stern but sexy. And petrochemical. Sexy inorganic petrochemical. And cleavage. Massive pipelines and big plungers, but classy." Image
"OK Jill, think Cairo. Pyramids. Sexy pyramids. Amenhotep in expensive perfume. Cleopatra on a promise. Be a Sphinx in Spanx. Maybe with some pouting." Image
"OK Pamela, I want seduction. And intrigue. And the deep sea fishing industry. Think cod, but sexy. Sexy, intriguing cod. Literally give me fishnets. But with cleavage." Image
"OK Fiona, this one's in Berlin. I want sexy, but Teutonic. Classy. Think Europe. A braless Brandenburg Gate of beguiling. Menace that map." Image
"OK Daphne I want British, but sexy. Sophisticated. Maybe with cleavage. And mystery. Mysterious cleavage. Mary Poppins in a string bikini. With a gun. Sexy fish and chips. But classy." Image
"OK Emily, you're a cobra. A sexy, dangerous cobra. On a plane. You're a snake on a plane. With long legs. Maybe a pout. Give me pouty snakey danger. Hiss a little if it helps." Image
"Look Claudia, we don't have any budget. Just do your best. Sexy, but with documents. Put your hood up if you're cold. And scene..." Image

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More from @PulpLibrarian

20 Dec
Today in pulp I look back at the publishing phenomenon of gamebooks: novels in which YOU are the hero!

A pencil and dice may be required for this thread... Image
Gamebooks are a simple but addictive concept: you control the narrative. At the end of each section of the story you are offered a choice of outcomes, and based on that you turn to the page indicated to see what happens next. Image
Gamebook plots are in fact complicated decision tree maps: one or more branches end in success, but many more end in failure! It's down to you to decide which path to tread. Image
Read 22 tweets
15 Dec
What time is it? You KNOW what time it is...

Time for my occasional series "Women with great hair fleeing gothic houses!"

And today we are fleeing 1974.
Looks like someone forgot the house on this cover...

Malice Domestic, by Rae Foley. Dell, 1974.
By the sea, or under it? The Poisoned Anemones, by Ursula Sanford. Ravenswood Gothic, 1974.
Read 14 tweets
13 Dec
You can only choose one.

Choose wisely... Image
This is not a personality test by the way. Though perhaps it should be... Image
Also available as a massive scarf, if that's your thing. Image
Read 4 tweets
9 Dec
Bűvös Kocka was patented in Hungary in 1975: a plastic cube, made up of nine coloured squares on each side, that could be rearranged in 43 quintillion different ways. Eight years later over 200 million had been sold worldwide.

Today in pulp... I look at Rubik's Cube!
In 1974 Ernõ Rubik was an architecture professor from Budapest. Looking for a way to help his students better appreciate 3D design he began work on a wooden puzzle block that could be reconfigured by twisting it.
The challenge for Rubik was to create a structure where individual pieces could move without the whole block falling apart. Using rubber bands and hand-cut wooden pieces he persevered until he had a prototype.
Read 18 tweets
7 Dec
Due to the pandemic and whatnot you may not have visited your local public library in a while.

So come with me on a virtual library tour, courtesy of stock photography, to see what we do for a living... #librarytwitter
Libraries are of course information resource centres, but in many ways they are so much more. To get the best out of them you need to really know your way around the stacks.
The enquiries desk is normally your first stop in a library, and this is where you will meet The Angry Librarian! Why is she angry? Because you keep asking her stupid questions!
Read 13 tweets
5 Dec
Today in pulp I look back at one of the most terrifying British comics of the 1970s: scary, supernatural and just for girls: Misty.
IPC comics already had a reputation for tough titles by 1978: Action comic had been denounced in parliament for its violent content. But Pat Mills wanted a vehicle for fearful supernatural stories and persuaded IPC to run with his idea: a mystery comic aimed at girls.
Rival publisher D.C. Thompson had already launched its own supernatural girl's comic Spellbound in 1976, but Misty would be in a league of its own when it hit newsstands in 1978.
Read 16 tweets

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