While I have had just enough Guinness to be warm but not so much as to be full-on sappy, let me just thank you all for this year of fellowship.

While this place can be a cesspool, it also forges connections, builds friendships, and provides a lifeline to folks who need one.

1/
Thank you for being part of my circle in this Venn diagram.

The size of our little community here will never cease to seem surreal to me. The readership feels undeserved. It is an unearned compliment.

Thank you for being here.

2/
And, a special, profound thanks to folks who tucked beer money into my Ko-Fi tip jar this year.

It has been immeasurably helpful. It has helped purchase a beer or three but also helped pay my phone bill and fill my gas tank and keep my ancient Honda on the road.

3/
I haven’t been at my best these last few months. I’d like to hope the new year ushers in a better chapter.

In the meantime though, thank you for your support and company.

Wishing you and yours the happiest of holidays and the very best of years ahead.

Cheers.

— HW

//

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More from @TheRealHoarse

23 Dec
All adults should be forced to work retail one Christmas.

It changes a person.
I worked at the jewelry dept at Sears when I was in high school… and then in the men’s department at Macy’s in my twenties one Christmas.

If you are a serial garment-unfolder - someone who just unfolds garments and holds them up and lays them down unfolded - I wish you harm.
Stores don’t have some magic folding Roomba that comes around and tidies up after you.

Some dude named Mike who also has a full time job and is also actually me has to stay long after the store closes to fold up all shit you unfolded. Do better.

HoHoHo. Feliz Navidad.
Read 6 tweets
23 Dec
There is no acceptable reason whatsoever why police need to pull over drivers for insignificant fineable offenses.

Let’s be as blunt as we can be:

We have allowed traffic policing to become an end-around on the Constitution. The entire racket is an extended illegal search.
Seriously, even police officers, speaking candidly, will acknowledge that they use pretextual stops to initiate what would be illegal searches otherwise.

I have had police draw down on me and stick guns in my face once in my life…

…for accidentally flashing my high beams.
Traffic policing is the most prevalent form of corrupt law enforcement in the country.

It allows officers to drum up unimportant, largely irrelevant reasons to detain drivers who are disproportionately Black and Latino.

It is a money-grab for municipalities.

It’s a shakedown.
Read 8 tweets
23 Dec
So, my animal friends are out there in a shabby-ass manger with temps dropping to .

The sheep are fine. The goats though… they must be cold as shit.

If I attempt a goat rescue there is a significant risk of arrest given that the manger is literally in the police parking lot.
So, we’re looking at possibly two charges of goat burgling. Or goatknapping. Neither of which sounds like a crime but is probably a felony.

Maybe I’ll just cruise by all casual and do some light surveillance.

It’s not like I won’t bring them back.
I mean, I could leave a note of letters cut out of magazines just to make it fun.

Something like:

“kNow whY EWe ArE UpSet?

bEcAuse I GOt YouR GOATs”
Read 4 tweets
22 Dec
I took this picture in the wee, cold hours this morning.

It makes me ridiculously happy.

Eastern screech owl. The first owl I have ever seen in the wild.
Y’all have to understand, I have been on a fruitless search for an owl for weeks.

I have found and taken pictures of every even vaguely owl-friendly tree hole east of the Mississippi (there may be some exaggeration there).

Big ones. Little ones. Potential multi-owl dwellings.
I was seriously thinking of becoming an owl realtor because there are some great opportunities on the owl real estate market right now.

“Mr. and Mrs. Owl, I can get you into a great place. Original wood floors. Quiet neighborhood.”

Look at these listings!
Read 5 tweets
21 Dec
I’m about to wipe out a couple of pretty good-sized accounts with weird, obsessive fixations on hating AOC.

If you find yourself suddenly blocked, that will likely be why.

I have no patience for high schoolish bullshit as we head into an all-or-nothing midterm fight against Rs.
If you follow divisive, undermining accounts, don’t complain when that is taken as your endorsement of that content.

I just use an app to wipe out seriously problematic accounts and their followers.

Manage who you follow. It is a reflection of you.
And if you have followed me for a while, you already know that I am EOC. An equal opportunity critic. No one is beyond criticism.

Obsessive fact-free hating though… no.

Anyway, don’t bother hitting me up from an alt account if you get wiped out for following immature haters.
Read 4 tweets
21 Dec
I tried to get him to come over but he was a little sheepish.
There used to be four of them but one is on the lam.
They’re all pretty good but this one’s the GOAT.
Read 4 tweets

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