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The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

23 Dec

So, my animal friends are out there in a shabby-ass manger with temps dropping to .

The sheep are fine. The goats though… they must be cold as shit.

If I attempt a goat rescue there is a significant risk of arrest given that the manger is literally in the police parking lot.

So, we’re looking at possibly two charges of goat burgling. Or goatknapping. Neither of which sounds like a crime but is probably a felony.

Maybe I’ll just cruise by all casual and do some light surveillance.

It’s not like I won’t bring them back.

I mean, I could leave a note of letters cut out of magazines just to make it fun.

Something like:

“kNow whY EWe ArE UpSet?

bEcAuse I GOt YouR GOATs”

Read 4 tweets

The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

23 Dec

While I have had just enough Guinness to be warm but not so much as to be full-on sappy, let me just thank you all for this year of fellowship.

While this place can be a cesspool, it also forges connections, builds friendships, and provides a lifeline to folks who need one.

1/

Thank you for being part of my circle in this Venn diagram.

The size of our little community here will never cease to seem surreal to me. The readership feels undeserved. It is an unearned compliment.

Thank you for being here.

2/

And, a special, profound thanks to folks who tucked beer money into my Ko-Fi tip jar this year.

It has been immeasurably helpful. It has helped purchase a beer or three but also helped pay my phone bill and fill my gas tank and keep my ancient Honda on the road.

3/

Read 4 tweets

The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

22 Dec

I took this picture in the wee, cold hours this morning.

It makes me ridiculously happy.

Eastern screech owl. The first owl I have ever seen in the wild.

Y’all have to understand, I have been on a fruitless search for an owl for weeks.

I have found and taken pictures of every even vaguely owl-friendly tree hole east of the Mississippi (there may be some exaggeration there).

Big ones. Little ones. Potential multi-owl dwellings.

I was seriously thinking of becoming an owl realtor because there are some great opportunities on the owl real estate market right now.

“Mr. and Mrs. Owl, I can get you into a great place. Original wood floors. Quiet neighborhood.”

Look at these listings!

Read 5 tweets

The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

21 Dec

I’m about to wipe out a couple of pretty good-sized accounts with weird, obsessive fixations on hating AOC.

If you find yourself suddenly blocked, that will likely be why.

I have no patience for high schoolish bullshit as we head into an all-or-nothing midterm fight against Rs.

If you follow divisive, undermining accounts, don’t complain when that is taken as your endorsement of that content.

I just use an app to wipe out seriously problematic accounts and their followers.

Manage who you follow. It is a reflection of you.

And if you have followed me for a while, you already know that I am EOC. An equal opportunity critic. No one is beyond criticism.

Obsessive fact-free hating though… no.

Anyway, don’t bother hitting me up from an alt account if you get wiped out for following immature haters.

Read 4 tweets

The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

21 Dec

Maybe if we just talk to them, they’ll get vaxed.

The eligible-but-unvaxed population are suicide bombers at this point.

They are a societal danger by choice.

They potentially cost innocent lives every time they are out in public.

We are about to be forced back into lockdowns specifically because of their recklessness.

I really cannot put this any more bluntly, as a public policy input, I don’t give the tiniest shit why someone eligible is unvaccinated.

I care that responsible and vulnerable populations are not endangered by the irresponsibility of the unvaxed population.

Read 6 tweets

The Hoarse Whisperer

@TheRealHoarse

20 Dec

If you are so fucking stupid, you use dipshit lingo like “brogressives” when talking about JOE BIDEN’S LEGISLATIVE AGENDA, your stay in my mentions will be very brief.

And if you like or retweet moronic comments like that, so will yours.

Seriously, it is absolutely pathetic how many people are so obsessed with hating OTHER DEMOCRATS, they cannot process that Progressives were the ones trying to protect JOE BIDEN’S LEGISLATIVE PRIORITIES.

There is no excuse in 2021 for being this fucking obtuse. None.

The irony here is that AOC’s biggest fans hate me because I have been a critic of *some* of her choices.

They think I’m some centrist because I’m an older progressive who understands that the keyword there is “progress” - as in, actually making some.

Read 7 tweets

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