for each person it’s different but for me personally, my lack of boundary setting in the past stemmed from a fear of being disliked essentially. there was an awesome tweet i saw saying the fear of setting boundaries was fear of the dynamic changing & that’s a great way to put it.
when i find it, i’ll link it below. but yeah for me, it was very “wow i want to say something but maybe i’m overreacting. i don’t want this person to think i’m too sensitive or stop giving me this attention”. i enjoyed their attention more than my inner peace or maybe…
at the time i did not realize how much a lack of boundaries could unsettle and disturb my inner peace… because now i’m aware of it & setting boundaries has become as easy as breathing. before… i must’ve been real insecure, lonely, codependent to let all that shit fly honestly.
i’ve learned i have to put myself first. i have to fuck with myself the heaviest. i have to be my priority. because when that happens, their lack of attention, dynamic changing, them thinking i’m weird etc. whatever it is, literally will not matter to me.
bc i have the deep rooted belief that i KNOW i’m going to be okay no matter what. i KNOW i don’t NEED this persons attention to live or find inner happiness.
most importantly, no ones attention or company is worth having if they are not contributing to your peace or respecting your boundaries. no ones.
it’s interesting too because usually the discomfort we feel, starts off small. we barely notice it (we can train ourselves to become more aware). then as that person gets more comfortable, our discomfort grows. we feel guilty for speaking up now because we let so much slide. NO.
respect your body. speak up when you feel it. it’s never too late. for me, it came down to… i’m anxious enough on my own. i don’t need another source posing as a friend contributing to my anxiety even more. whether it’s intentional or not, my boundary will be set.
the lovely tweet about dynamics changing
https://twitter.com/minaabe/status/1479819984528412672
shareable ig post instagram.com/p/CY4CL52uer4/…
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