Thread by @millythebae

A thread about how my mother discovered that I was now drinking beer

1. Pafeya momz yangu raised me well. Yanga iri mukadzi weruwadzano munhu wekelaz so misikanzwa yese ndaingoti muroyi royera kure but rina manyanga hariputirwe, rinoda kungoiswa mubox...Why?
#goodghettovibe

2. Ndakasvika paden ndakabata 2 macots eCastle ne empty rechi 3. Time was around 1145pm. Ndandisati ndambononoka paden kudai coz momz had a policy yekuti mwana anopakurirwa ndearipo, asipo ihombarume. So whatever I did I made sure ndasvika paden before 730pm. But on this day...

3. ..mweya wetsvna wakafamba ndikazvisimbisa kusvika paden 1130pm ndakarohwa nemupeta. Ndakavhura gate ndichidaidzira kuti "auya mwana waJessica naWilson, chipazhamongo vapindira, ndauya ini mudyi wenhaka" Hah kana mudzimu wakurasha unenge watoita deny paternity zveshuwa.

3. Bedroom ranamdara rakatarisana negate so pandakapinda momz yakavhura window ichiti ndianiko, ndakabva ndaenda padhuze ndichiti nevheti, "it's me yo prodigal son, I love you ndadzoka". Momz yakangoridza zitsamwa bvayavhara window ndikati vaenda kunovhura door. Izvo kwaniko

4. Ndakaknocker padoor kusvika ndaona kuti hapana changu bvandazongonorara pa verandah. Hope dzechidhakwa haisi horror stereki. But ndakazomuka around 2am nechando chepanze ndikanoburitsa Bhoki mukaimba kake bvandapindamo ndikatokwanawo bvandafuga chigumbeze chake...ummmm

5. Monaz ndakamuka musoro webhabhidho uchirovera pahairline. Anga ari ma1, vakakomborerwa havo veSabata vasingabati mhamba. Yah apa ndanga ndakuita sober manje realizing how I had messed up. I waited patiently kuti vanhu vemumba vavhurire prodigal son.

6. I waited like munhu akamirira hearing yake mucourt. Apa ndaigaya kuti ndopinda ne plea bargain yekuti kudii bcoz ma1 ndomaziya. Pandakangonzwa door kuvhurwa ndakabva ndangoti kwarakwashu kumuka ndakananga kudoor. Ndakasvikawo Chief Justice vachitaridza kuti no nonsense today

7. Ndakasvika nekakunyara kunge kanyama kecolcolm pie kanenge kaexposwa by an angry customer. Ndakati,"mangwanani chirandu" but I was blue ticked sendisipo. Paipa apo. Ndakangonanga kunotora mutsvairo wepanze bvandatanga kutsvaira ruvanze. Izvi zvanga zvisati zvamboitika

8. Ndakaswera whole day ndichibata bata tumabasa twese twepaden. But ndaitonyara kunotsvaga chekudya mukitchen. But still momz did not even ask kuti wanga uripi. Hah vakandirememera muchembere. Unodemba kurohwa hako neshamhu

9. 2 days momz yaisada kana kutaura neni. Paden pacho panga pasingagarike apa gedhi racho unenge uchinyara kubuda. Ndakazoti dhuuu plan bvandabata imwe hanzvadzi yavo Kule Benaya bvandaitsanangurira status quo yepaden. Ikati don't worry ndosvika deepaz

10. Zveshuwa kuma7:30 kule yanga yalander paden. Yakangosvika ichinditsonya bvayatanga kusasa. Hanzi mzaya pawknd wakazofamba sei. Haina kundipa nguva yekubatanidza but yaiziya zvayaiita. Hanzi sorry ndakazokumanikidza kumwa doro that day nyangwe hazvo wanga warambisisa

11. Kule cont'd, "asi mzaya ndakafarira chinhu 1 chekuti pawanga wadhakwa wakatanga kuchema ukati unoda kupfuura nekuchurch uchiisa confession yekuti you sinned" apa ndakaona momz yakusimudza musoro ichiita kakusmaila. Kule yakaisa spice, "asi ndakaona kuti mzaya unoda zvechurch"

12. Time time ndakaona momz yapombonoka yakutaura nyaya bvayatopakura sadza ndikati munokwara mubhora. Ndakazowana chance yekubuda gate ndakuperekedza kule kumalifts bvayandisiira $10 zvikanzi wozotsvaga 6 pack mzaya. Ndakangoona kuti senyika hakuna kwatiri kuenda zveshuwa.

Like retweet and follow.... don't forget to put on the notifications button for more truthful but funny threads of my life in the ghetto