Cattle Raid of Cooley: episode 16. Cuchulainn has returned from Meath and madness and is now back among his Ulster friends. “Howyas”, “Howya, Cuchulainn - we are just trying the apple-feat and other nimble fighting techniques, will you join us?” #TainOnTwitter
Cuchulainn was a apple-feat genius and when the Ulster WaGs saw him performing it they were mighty impressed; “we’ve never seen such a romantic and risqué apple-feat before” they said. The Ulster husbands were very unimpressed “hmmmmmmh” they sulked #TainOnTwitter
The Ulster husbands hald a meeting. “I’m doing apple-feats for years and the wife never compliments me” moaned a husband . “Cuchulainn does one and everyone thinks he’s a hero” agreed another. “We need to get him a wife”. “Secretary, put that in the minutes”. #TainOnTwitter
The husbands bring Cuchulainn down to the beautifully named, Luglochtga Logo, the Gardens of Lugh, close to the sacred river. Near the sacred river Boyne, they find the beautiful Emer; Howya” she says. Cuchulainn is speechless #TainOnTwitter
Emer rocks up to Cuchulainn “how you doin”. “Well..... well .. I’m grand” stammers the great Ulster hero. “Will you kill a hundred men for me?” she teased “Will you do the salmon-leap for me?”. “The salmon-leap!” gasped everyone “Holy, moly” #TainOnTwitter
“I will go sleepless from Samhain, when the summer sun goes to its rest until Imbolc when the ewes are milked at Springs beginning” wooed Cuchulainn “You romantic devil” sighed Emer #TainOnTwitter
“That’s beautiful” said Emer. “thank you” said Cuchulainn “I have loads more romantic verses .. I shall arise and go..”. “Very nice” interrupts Emer “but you could do something even more romantic”. “Just name it” sighed Cuchulainn “Kill my father” says Emer #TainOnTwitter
“Howya, I’m Fergal Manach - Emer’s father” said Fergal Manach to Cuchulainn. “Howya... Manach?” asks Cuchulainn. “Yes” said Fergal “Manach means ‘Wiley, ‘tricky, conspiracy, deception, chicanery or duplicity - the terms are interchangeable - also snare and swindle” #TainonTwitter
“I suggest ”said Fergal Manach to Cuchulainn “you should go to Scotland”. “Scotland?” asks Cuchulainn “What’s in Scotland?”. “Scatach - the Shadowy One” says Fergal “the wildest woman in the world”. “Is she dangerous?” asks Cuchulainn. “Deadly” smiled Fergal #TainInTwitter
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