There is no hardware more threatening than printers. A whole ass Chaotic Evil device category that society has universally loathed for decades. An ugly, angry presence in your home or office, a cursed appliance that isn't afraid to let you know it hates itself and it hates you.
We got a new generic printer for basic office shit, and it's still sitting in the box because no one wants to be the one to engage in battle with it. It's just sitting in the office emanating bad vibes, a looming chore that bums you out when you pass by and remember it exists.
Just look at the fucking box; it makes your hairs stand on end just *seeing* a box like this, triggered by a lifetime of printer trauma. Everything about it is mad that it exists. No other class of device triggers a fight-or-flight response merely from the packaging. 
Printers crave only death, and blame you for keeping them alive. When you ask them to do the one thing they were made to do they say "fuck you, fucking make me, pig.” When you engage with a printer you do so with the full understanding that it will choose violence, every time.
Imagine a more threatening text than someone saying "could you help me with my printer?" People have ended entire relationships over less.
I'm gonna anger the printer Gods if I don't mention that my huge pro Epson printer I use for my fine art prints is a trooper that has been kicking ass for years. And our laser document printer is good. But the basic color inkets in between are a godless hell of rage and suffering
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