If you need a break from terrifying world events I give you the alt narrative my six year old is getting right now which is that if he eats any more cheese puffs, he will turn into one and this is what will happen:
He’s mostly coming up with this himself but so far: he would get rolled to school and if he looked tasty enough his classmates might try to eat him but worse the pizza place across the street would pretend to be friendly but then offer him as a delicious cheese-a puff-a!
But their plan would be partly foiled because customers would find it “sus” that the cheese-a puff-a was talking about Fortnite so much. And their customers care about food safety.
And then a nice stranger would roll him back home or his parents would come pick him up.
The end. I am illustrating this story as we speak.
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