one thing i didnt really come to terms with until i wrote my substack piece is how when i was literally being driven crazy by testosterone (SUCH a dark, horrible time), not one of my many "mental health" clinicians ever mentioned it, instead diagnosed me with mental illnesses
i have so much resentment and anger towards the mental health industry.
its not like it was just one person
it was multiple psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, etc.
all told me i had a "broken brain" instead of looking at me as a whole person and seeing that major red flag
i have had to recover FROM my experiences in the medical and mental health industries
along with recovering from the pain that led me to them in the first place
it really hurt me in multiple ways.
i deeply, DEEPLY resent the idea that our complex, real, meaningful human experiences are all boiled down to meaningless mental illness symptoms
that idea is so disrespectful to our lives and bodies and experiences.
fuck. that.
if that paradigm is something you have found helps you understand yourself and improves your life, im happy for you
although i would encourage you to explore other ways of understanding your struggles
but that wont be me. i reject it.
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
a post for other detransitioners on #DetransAwarenessDay, especially recently detransed people
you may be seeing some of us post photos of ourselves that are very vulnerable, but that may not be something you are comfortable with yet or ever.
ive been doing this for like 4 years, ive been able to experiment and figure out what my boundaries are, what i share, and how i talk about my experiences in a way that works for me
it may look very different for you and you need to respect that you dont know your boundaries yet
if posting a photo feels really wrong, just take it down. im always happy to undo a retweet too.
you are under no obligation to expose yourself in ways you don't want to to strangers just because others are doing it and some people respond positively.
usually one of the first aspects of gender ideology young girls accept is “trans women are women”
why are trans women women? because they wear 5 pounds of makeup, have fake nails, get silicone boobs, ass implants, lip fillers, dress provocatively, and act very sexual
then those young girls look at themselves and their life and see that they don’t do any of those things, in fact all of those things sound really exhausting and scary, so that must be a sign that they could be trans!
they think that’s what “femininity” is. and it doesn’t help that they’re also constantly being fed beauty industry propaganda and social media influencers. without having many normal friends or knowing normal older women, it’s easy to get confused and think that stuff is “women”
a suicidal person feels hopeless for a multitude of complex reasons, and may latch onto one idea they think will change everything. like changing genders, for example.
even the idea that death will relieve the pain itself is such a desperate leap of logic.
responding to any situation by wishing for death or feeling that life isnt worth living betrays that a person has been seriously mentally and emotionally wounded, and does not have a life with connection, worth, and meaning. these are problems far deeper than not liking your body
if someone is convinced that X drastic idea is their only chance at escaping a life not worth living, those who know better should help that person heal those other problems contributing to the hopelessness
not reaffirm their belief that they have no choice but to do X
a lot of the girls who get caught up in wanting to be trans are the type who are very emotional, very sensitive, overthink, and feel things passionately
in ways that their parents and peers can’t keep up with
theyre “too much”
trans/sj is appealing bc it itself is very melodramatic, so they feel like they can be intense among these people and not feel so out of place
it’s one of the only scenes to fit in with other intense people and artists these days
the trans community also “validates” their incremental exploration of being trans which feels refreshing compared to feeling misunderstood and downplayed by family/peers
they feel everything intensely so each time someone misunderstands/downplays it feels like massive rejection
a lot of "beauty" body things viscerally freak me out... i always feel like filled lips are going to explode and splatter lip matter everywhere,,, i always wonder like "what if that girls piercing snags on something and gets ripped out ouch ouch ouch" EEK
the absolute worst is when a girl with lip filler has one of those piercings that goes DIRECTLY THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE LIP