wangxian au where lwj gets hit with a de-aging curse and everyone thinks wwx has somehow given birth the first time they see him in caiyi town, bby lwj propped on his hip and nomming on chenqing
#pregxianseason ? 👀👀 mayhaps
the whole thing began on a night-hunt. wangxian were fighting together as usual, their target a particularly slippery yao.
wwx had the creature on the floor, ready to deliver the final blow when all of a sudden he heard lwj cry out his name
wwx had the creature on the floor, ready to deliver the final blow when all of a sudden he heard lwj cry out his name
he turns around, startled, to see lwj charging towards him
he shoves wwx, hard, and there is a flash of light and then suddenly -
nothing
lwj had disappeared
he shoves wwx, hard, and there is a flash of light and then suddenly -
nothing
lwj had disappeared
Wwx feels his heart drop, sheer panic filling him instantly.
“lan zhan!” he cries, voice barely recognisable even to his own ears, “lan wangji !! lan wangji!”
“that’s not my name.”
“lan zhan!” he cries, voice barely recognisable even to his own ears, “lan wangji !! lan wangji!”
“that’s not my name.”
it’s tiny, barely audible. wwx startle:”s, snapping his head around so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash.
“lan zhan?” he calls out again, cautious.
“down here.”
“lan zhan?” he calls out again, cautious.
“down here.”
heartbeat so loud he hear it in his ears, wwx looked down.
“a little bit more.”
he looked down a bit more. then even more, then —
“Oh my — Lan Zhan.” hands covering his mouth, wwx could only stare into the round, inquisitive golden eyes of his husband.
who was now a child
“a little bit more.”
he looked down a bit more. then even more, then —
“Oh my — Lan Zhan.” hands covering his mouth, wwx could only stare into the round, inquisitive golden eyes of his husband.
who was now a child
“lan zhan you’re so—so…SMALL!!” wwx can’t believe his eyes! His husband, a baby! No way this was really —
“Wait, you are lz, right?” wwx asks, crouching down to get a closer look. the baby seizes this opportunity to bite him, & wwx could almost cry from relief
“It IS you!”
“Wait, you are lz, right?” wwx asks, crouching down to get a closer look. the baby seizes this opportunity to bite him, & wwx could almost cry from relief
“It IS you!”
he picks babieji up from the pile of white robes on the floor, unable to resist booping lwjs small, button nose.
“aiyo, who’s a good boy?”
“a-zhan is a good boy.” lwj retorts back dutifully, and wwx nearly cries
“aiyo, who’s a good boy?”
“a-zhan is a good boy.” lwj retorts back dutifully, and wwx nearly cries
he flies back to cr with babieji in his arms, lwjs robes and bichen stored away safely in a qiankun pouch.
lwjs mantou-like cheeks shudder with the turbulence of the ride, each time striking a dagger of cuteness into wwxs heart
lwjs mantou-like cheeks shudder with the turbulence of the ride, each time striking a dagger of cuteness into wwxs heart
wwx manages to sneak into the cloud recesses without being spotted, thanks to babieji’s guidance
he tumbles into the jingshi , setting lwj on the floor where he promptly waddles over to the bathtub
“I will draw wy a bath.” Lwj declares, as if he is still 188cm, not 116cm
he tumbles into the jingshi , setting lwj on the floor where he promptly waddles over to the bathtub
“I will draw wy a bath.” Lwj declares, as if he is still 188cm, not 116cm
he struggles for a brief moment to reach the bucket, short legs wiggling in the air until through sheer force of will he manages to grab the bucket down.
wwx retracts his earlier statement. lwj may now only be 116cm in height, but he is 188cm of determination
wwx retracts his earlier statement. lwj may now only be 116cm in height, but he is 188cm of determination
“now, you must call me ‘xian-gege’” wwx teases lwj, prodding at his cheek.
“…mommy.” lwj says, and bites him
“??!?!!??! LAN ZHAN??!!?”
“…mommy.” lwj says, and bites him
“??!?!!??! LAN ZHAN??!!?”
the next morning brings no change. lwj is still fun-sized, as wwx affectionately puts it.
lsz, the little darling that he is, doesn’t ask any questions when wwx knocks on his door at 11am, requesting to borrow a set of his old robes from when lsz was a baby
lsz, the little darling that he is, doesn’t ask any questions when wwx knocks on his door at 11am, requesting to borrow a set of his old robes from when lsz was a baby
they fit lwj perfectly, making wwx cheer loudly in triumph until lwj places one chubby finger against his mouth.
“Loud noises are forbidden”
“Loud noises are forbidden”
they make their way down to caiyi, lwj safely secured in wwxs arms.
in retrospect, this was a poor idea, wwx quickly discovers, as he makes eye contact with yet another market seller who looks between him and lwj then nodded in understanding
“I knew it would happen one day.”
in retrospect, this was a poor idea, wwx quickly discovers, as he makes eye contact with yet another market seller who looks between him and lwj then nodded in understanding
“I knew it would happen one day.”
wwx attempts to duck into a liquor store to hide away from prying eyes, only to be scolded by the bartender for bringing a child into such a place
soon though, & despite his best efforts the rumours spread, even up to lqr
“wwx has done WHAT??!“
“Had a baby, laoshi.”
soon though, & despite his best efforts the rumours spread, even up to lqr
“wwx has done WHAT??!“
“Had a baby, laoshi.”
link back to the top ! I’ll finish in the morning 🥰
https://twitter.com/s_selene210/status/1505941918177452033
lqr doesn’t break down doors, but it is a near thing. he storms over to the jingshi, a trail of terrified disciples in tow.
“wei wuXIANN!!!!”
“yes, uncle?” wwx pops his head out the jingshi door, smiling innocently. there is an odd bulge around his stomach
“wei wuXIANN!!!!”
“yes, uncle?” wwx pops his head out the jingshi door, smiling innocently. there is an odd bulge around his stomach
lqr immediately launches into an angry tirade, blasting off about this and that and “can I babysit?” until finally he finishes, panting for breath
wwx giggles nervously, his ahoge curling into the signature ‘!’ which indicates he’s lying. “Baby ?? I don’t know what you mean”
wwx giggles nervously, his ahoge curling into the signature ‘!’ which indicates he’s lying. “Baby ?? I don’t know what you mean”
of course it’s at this moment that lwj pops his head out of wwxs robes, turning to wwx with big unblinking eyes and saying—
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m hungry.”
lqr faints on the spot
wwx curses, but not before covering lwjs ears
“I will distract the others. wei ying can make a run for it.”
“Lan Zhan we are not leaving your uncle like this!”
“I will distract the others. wei ying can make a run for it.”
“Lan Zhan we are not leaving your uncle like this!”
lwj picks up bichen — which is about twice his height— and levels wwx with a grave expression
“wei ying does not need to worry. I will protect him.” he pats wwxs knee, the only place he can reach. “besides, it is what a good husband should do.”
“wei ying does not need to worry. I will protect him.” he pats wwxs knee, the only place he can reach. “besides, it is what a good husband should do.”
wwx doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. he settles for an odd mixture of both, picking babieji up & hugging him tightly.
“even as a child my lz is truly so good, so good to his poor wy.” he presses a smacking kiss to lwjs cheek, then yelps when there’s a sudden flash of light
“even as a child my lz is truly so good, so good to his poor wy.” he presses a smacking kiss to lwjs cheek, then yelps when there’s a sudden flash of light
blinking the stars out of his eyes, wwx realises it has suddenly become very hard to breathe
perhaps because there’s a full grown lwj sitting on his chest, looking down at wwx as if he can’t quite believe his eyes
“lan than!” wwx wheezes, lwjs hair in his mouth. “you’re back!”
perhaps because there’s a full grown lwj sitting on his chest, looking down at wwx as if he can’t quite believe his eyes
“lan than!” wwx wheezes, lwjs hair in his mouth. “you’re back!”
the tattered remains of lwjs baby-sized clothes lay scattered about, and wwx barely has time to yelp before lwj is flipping him over and stealing whatever air was left in his lungs in a kiss
lwj kisses him until wwx’s knees are weak, clever hands working quickly to divest wwx of his robes.
“Lan Zhan ! —“ wwx protests between kisses, “your uncle is — ah! — right there — you ferocious beast!”
“Lan Zhan ! —“ wwx protests between kisses, “your uncle is — ah! — right there — you ferocious beast!”
lwj pauses reluctantly, golden eyes assessing the nearest bushes for their suitability
“then wy will have to be mindful of his noises.”
“Eh?! lz you — you can’t just say that to me! without warning too! i think i preferred you when you couldn’t say this shameless things—
“then wy will have to be mindful of his noises.”
“Eh?! lz you — you can’t just say that to me! without warning too! i think i preferred you when you couldn’t say this shameless things—
everyday ensues. twice.
lqr luckily sleeps on, blissfully unaware.
lqr luckily sleeps on, blissfully unaware.
they end up explaining the whole thing to lqr after he wakes up, who is more than a little disappointed that he hasn’t actually received any grand-nephew or nieces
not for long though
wwx announces he is expecting a month later
not for long though
wwx announces he is expecting a month later
wwx carries the babies for 9 long months, enduring the back pains & sleepless nights, only for them to be exact carbon copies of lwj
“you know, I’m getting the strangest sense of deja-vu.” wwx comments, staring into the round inquisitive golden eyes of his daughter
lwj laughs
“you know, I’m getting the strangest sense of deja-vu.” wwx comments, staring into the round inquisitive golden eyes of his daughter
lwj laughs
• • •
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