Thread by @WesElyMD

1/🧵 I DARE YOU 👍

When we’re busy, relationships become I-It & should be “I-Thou”

How can we fix it?

I asked him 4 Questions:

What’s your favorite song, hobby, food, pet’s name?

Do this for 1 WEEK. How does it change the way you SEE & CARE for others?

Read on…(pic w perm)

2/ Hecame to our ICU service over night after his spinal fusion.

He would only be w us a short time & would then be gone. So why dive deeply into his history??

Because he’s an ENTIRE PERSON.

So every minute with him is a gift. What did I learn?

3/ His favorite 🎶 is anything by the Eagles. Hobby is cars. Food is Thai. Pet is a “white golden” named Hondo!

4/ I added one more. “How did you meet your wife?”

It was the jewel question on this day!!

5/ His answer, “We met at the Pentagon. I’m in the air force, and I was in the Pentagon doing my last assignment, and a plane hit the building on NINE ELEVEN. I carried people out. The next two days we practiced “SHOW OF FORCE” tactics…

6/ “Doc, SHOW OF FORCE meant that we wanted to prove that the terrorists wouldn’t get the better of us. So we came together to recover and rebuild. It’s how I learned the mindset I’d use to fight this cancer down. I want to share my experience, strength & hope w others!”

7/ I just took over caring for another patient who’s been in ICU for 3 weeks on a vent. I found out his dogs are Abby and Mack. His favorite song is 8 Days a Week by Beatles. He rebuilds cars – fave is “70 Chavelle. He love pepperoni pizza.
Guess What?

8/ I’m IN. I can SEE him now. I’m fighting for HIM. I want him to get back to this scene:
Working on his Chavelle, with Abby and Mack watching, while they all listen to “Ooh I need your luvin’” and eating pizza!

9/ Don’t you see? We are all just people. But sometimes we look straight past what makes us each unique. That creates a scenario where I can treat you as LESS. Less valuable. Less dignified. Less IMPORTANT to fight for. Don’t let it happen on your watch.

10/ I’m not pointing fingers here. I’m guilty. Complicit. I make this mistake. But then when I use my tools, my own personal challenge, I can fix things for the person sitting in front of me. Each person if of inestimable worth.

11/fin
I have learned that if I take 2 minutes to ask about each person’s favorite food, music, pets & hobbies (bonus questions about relationship back stories take longer but are AMAZING), it makes me a better #HEALER + prevents #BURNOUT.

The Ely 4 Questions Challenge – try it!