Thread by @Ford_Ebling

TW // Sexual Abuse, church trauma

There’s a certain way that some activists and leaders in the #SBCtoo and #churchtoo circles have responded the Guidepost report that ultimately reinforces patricarchical white supremacy and ignores many victims.

It’s often said the patriarchy harms everyone, including the men who benefit from it. Many boys and men who have been sexually abused in churches often don’t feel safe to come forward precisely because of the way patriarchy manifests.

Take the convergence of patriarchy and homophobia. We are trained to hate LGBTQIA people in white Christian spaces. Some men just straight up don’t come forward because they’re afraid of being labeled as gay, or that they tempted some pastor into “homosexual sins.”

And if you are a young boy sexually abused by a woman? At best you’re held at fault just as much as the woman, cause white evangelicals still hate women and will hold them to account, but will put the burden on *the child* for not stopping it.

Cause they somehow expect a young vulnerable boy to “act like a man” and that we’re not vulnerable to the fear of defying someone in authority no matter who they are. Obeying authority is beaten into us, but then it’s our fault for not defying it? What are we supposed to do?

And that doesn’t even account for other stigmas that comes with that abuse. I’ve seen male survivors whose abuse was dismissed with the words, “An older woman wanted you and you’re complaining about it?” We’re expected to give a bro high-five and enjoy our abuse.

Then there’s hazing. I was molested *by my friends* because it was expected for me to put up with that abuse to be part of the inner circle, to show that I can be “real men.” And then we were pushed to do this to other boys. To them, that was how we welcomed new kids.

I say all this as a run up to point out how male victims of abuse in Christianity have gotten only the barest nod after the release of the Guidepost.

And I have not seen white activists so much as acknowledge the unique suffering POC victims went through being abused in a denom whose very foundation is racism and white supremacy. Nor has their been much, if any support for LGBTQIA victims.

The ignoring of LGBTQIA folks in #churchtoo and #SBCtoo circles is an extremely grim irony seeing as the former was largely spear-headed by a queer woman.

The plain reality is that many activists and leaders, like Beth Moore, Rachael Denhollander, and Nadia Bolz-Weber simply do not give a shit about victims if not they’re straight white women.

In the case of Bolz-Weber, she fucking *dared* to imply that abuse would not happen if more women had power in orgs while she takes no responsibility for platforming and supporting a man who abused his wife, and basically throwing said wife under the bus.

While Beth Moore is just a straight up bigot. She’s called LGBTQIA people “demonic,” and after leaving the SBC, proceeded to join a denom that’s just as conservative and dangerous. She exemplifies all of the things that’s helped abuse thrive in Christianity.

Rachael Denhollander is just the same as Moore. Sure she may want to see something done about abuse, but has many times been just as concerned about Christianity and it’s institutions being damaged by survivors as any member on the EC. And is absolutely not a friend to survivors.

I would never deny the validity of a person’s abuse or struggles, and I want to see the people that hurt them held to account.

But someone isn’t an ally just because they’ve gone through the same pain as you.

Especially when they refuse to acknowledge how they’re, either intentionally or unintentionally, contributing to the same things that create an environment where abuse can thrive. Trauma is not inoculation to harmful behaviors we were socialized to perform.

They refuse to acknowledge the depths to which things need to change for them to get better.

I don’t care how much you want the SBC, or even Christianity, to survive. If they have to die for things to get better, then they fucking die.