Being a Terf.. is it worth it? 💜🤍💚
A short Thread
1/ My sister gave birth in the early hours, I’d had a weird feeling before bed that night, a bit sick. It was probably too much chocolate but I always said it was sympathy pains. My niece, I’ll call P, was perfect & when I
A short Thread
1/ My sister gave birth in the early hours, I’d had a weird feeling before bed that night, a bit sick. It was probably too much chocolate but I always said it was sympathy pains. My niece, I’ll call P, was perfect & when I
2/ first held her I felt an overwhelming amount of love for this tiny perfect little thing. I doted on her, saw her most days, helped my sister as much as my days would allow. P was the apple of the eye and I was her favourite person.
When her brother was born 2 years later I
When her brother was born 2 years later I
3/ had the full set. I proudly announced I didn’t want kids myself as they would never be as perfect as them. P and her brother, call him T were loved more than anything in the world. My nephew was clingy to my sister but I started to take him out on our own and we soon bonded
4/ My sister had a hard time of it, abusive partners and traumatic events forced her to move away, my heart broken by the loss of this huge part of my life, desperately worried and wanting to protect them and knowing the best way to do that was to let them go
5/ I visited, lots, I must have driven a million miles back and forth. Stayed close, stayed part of the kids lives and supported my amazing sister who believe me, should write a book, strongest woman I know. Skip forward and P thrived at school then uni and grew into an amazing
6/ young woman. When she met her partner i was the only one who saw that it was a female not a male as we were told. No problem, why should it be? I knew very little about Transitioning but have always been kind of heart and v left wing.I loved my niece and was curious, wanted to
7/ understand..And down the rabbit hole I went, as I fell I was told my beloved nephew was now Non Binary, then a TW. My sister hopped onboard the happy bus and I was scared that I was going mad, why did no one understand the problem here? I’ve known T since birth & used to think
8/ he might be gay for some reason but female? No? I won’t go into him as a person as it’s too private but he’s a big strong human with fierce emotions. I was terrified he would make medical changes just because everyone was scared to challenge him. I started reading more
9/ I found Radical feminism, it saved me. I kid u not my feminist mates laugh when I tell them how I used to be, Botox and lip fillers and desperate for male attention. Radical Feminism woke me from a nightmare I made for myself. I started to heal and found a wonderful partner
10/ I started to talk to my friends and family about concerns. Then boom, my old Twitter was exposed by a fluke coincidence and hell crashed down upon me. I don’t mind saying I understand why parents go along with it. The thought of losing my family was too much and I felt
11/ totally bereft. Lots of chats and arguments later and the children (now adults) will speak to me. I was given a Xmas present from each of them last yr which made me cry, I cried at a book and woolly socks. Menopause? Maybe, but it was a huge relief. They still cared.
12/ As time went on my patience wore thin. I was concerned about my nieces views and how it could lead to her not prioritising herself when she has so much to give. There’s other reasons too but I won’t elaborate other than to say I don’t worry unless u give me something to worry
13/ about! My nephew at this point was popular and euphoric as a TW. T lapped up the attention like a kitten. Gaming, anime and emotional issues are so often a familiar sight in this and I just wanted him safe and happy. I would proudly walk down the road with him
14/ wearing makeup but I would not say he should play on a women’s rugby team. Ay there’s the rub… I won’t pretend, I can’t.
I can’t because I also have Godchildren, I can’t because I am a woman, I can’t because I have been a victim of male violence, I can’t because
I can’t because I also have Godchildren, I can’t because I am a woman, I can’t because I have been a victim of male violence, I can’t because
15/ I refuse to throw all other humans under the bus for an ideology I don’t agree with. One that’s caused documented harm to children. My Goddaughter and my stepdaughter deserve a chance to play sport fairly, they deserve single sex toilets at school, they deserve respect
16/ so I’m the Terf Aunt, sitting on the periphery of the family unit. Not able to invite myself round or join in a lunch on the spur of the moment. My sister and I have mended, she’s starting to see the issues, that my concerns come from love. I started to see she had been
17/ fed so much disinformation. But the kids, well Terfs are evil aren’t they? So like the conman Uncle you liked as a kid that ended up in prison I am loved but not always liked, my relationship with them has obstacles and ditches I can fall into at any moment.I walk a tightrope
18/ I will say My WRN sisters have really saved my sanity. Friendship where I never expected from a bunch of women all so different but United in sisterhood. They’ve given me purpose & Feminism now has a seat next to my animal rescue work, either I’m rescuing cats or
19/ trying to defeat the patriarchy I keep busy and focused. If I stop, like now, and think, my heart starts to pound and I have a sinking feeling. Wishing on one hand that I’d never gone down that rabbit hole and on the other relieved I am not part of this cult
20/ P just split with her partner, was I relieved? Not really, just happy she’s strong enough to do what she wanted.I messaged her and sent her something in the post. She thanked me tonight,said she was okay and that she knows Im here for her but that our relationship has hurdles
21/ because she has an issue with my views and how I share them. So why write this? Because I’m sad, I’m sad my P feels this way, I’m sad because I wanted people to see, see what this ideology does to families, I’m still praying my nephew doesn’t save enough to go private as he’s
22/ hoping to. I don’t want him to do something that will have lifelong consequences. I love him enough that I’m willing to let him hate me. So I’m still fighting this ideology. This page is my way of staying sane because sometimes if I didn’t laugh I’d cry and if I didn’t
23/ paint I’d sit and worry. So I busy myself, art, animals, womens rights, work, wine.. but let me be clear to any TRAs or anyone who thinks I’m in the wrong here. My nephew is perfect, I want him to see that and not to want to change, he’s so talented at art and so funny
24/ my niece is compassionate and loving and would move the earth to “be kind” to someone. They deserve a world where they are both protected, one protected from medical and emotional harm and one from loss of rights and opportunities. Tonight I just wanted to say, that’s why I’m
25/ here, I’m no-one important but enough grains of sand eventually make a beach. Im here because I love my family, I don’t want “hurdles” in my relationship with them but I have to stick with what’s right, what’s best for them. Even if they never understand. I have to speak ❤️
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