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⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
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Mar 20 • 4 tweets • 3 min read
👀 lol #ScottShay (AKA #SignatureBank's theologian in residence, also known for his Gordon Gekko routine) got absolutely rekt on the final day of $SBNY trading. which I guess explains that weird bounce from $70 to $100 in the morning

at least a $3 million loss. @NotChaseColeman
@NotChaseColeman oh Scott, your 500,000 shares of $SBNY were an equity allocation of infinite jest.

➤ worth over $150 million at all time high...
➤ $77 million on February 1st...
➤ $50 million on March 9th...

...and now it's a $0.
@NotChaseColeman whoops I read that wrong, I guess the noted theologian only lost $414,000 on the final morning.

gg scott!
Joe Pesci impersonator #JosephDePaolo only got rekt for equity worth

➤ $60 million at all time high...
➤ $31 million on February 1st...
➤ $20 million on March 9th...

and $0 now.

#JohnTamberlane (whoever that is) also got rekt, for about half that.

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More from @Cryptadamist

⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 21
🧵 Quick thread going through $COIN's ludicrous "legal arguments" about why a product called #CoinbaseEarn:

1. is not an investment
2. has no expectation of profit
3. is not a communal activity
4. does not depend on the actions of @coinbase
1. "not an investment"

According to Coinbase there is no way for users to lose their ethereum even if

1. @coinbase gets hacked (user keys gets compromised, etc)
2. there's a bug in the ethereum source code (are lawyers even allowed to comment on this?) Image
2. "not a common enterprise"

Here #Coinbase admits that there is a gathering together of assets, then makes up some nonsense about how bc you can sell them it doesn't count (nvm that the same is true for stocks), then pretends users won't lose if Coinbase makes a mistake (lies). Image
Read 7 tweets
⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 20
🚨Ω🚨
@Coinbase's bank is being sued for predatory lending in a large class action lawsuit filed ~8 weeks ago.

It gets worse though... Because @CrossRiverBank is also starting to have to sue people for loans that are going bad. Financials only allow 1.6% loss. $COIN

ruh roh
@coinbase @crossriverbank 🧵2/Ω Kinda f'ed up other thread so I'm gonna copy these over here. tl;dr #seemsbad for @CrossRiverBank and $COIN.
Specific allegations about how @CrossRiverBank (@Coinbase's bank! $COIN) broke the law and allegedly defrauded a bunch of people w/predatory "debt relief" lending along with #NewCreditAmerica
Read 19 tweets
⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 18
Here's @CrossRiverBank's details over at #FDIC. Various addresses, FDIC ID numbers, charter info, etc. in case anyone's looking to dig around.

Note that for their first 5 years they were rated "Needs to improve" as a bank.

#lolbank
banks.data.fdic.gov/bankfind-suite…
@crossriverbank 🧵 Who else didn't know that @CrossRiverBank changed its name from #FirstFinancialBank in 2008?
state.nj.us/dobi/bnk_depos…
🧵 @CrossRiverBank is technically owned by #CRBGroup (seems like it's not the same as @CRBgrp?), a holding company in Fort Lee, NJ. Apparently #JoannaAlbertine is the CFO.

Here's their annual filings in NJ: ffiec.gov/npw/Institutio…
Read 22 tweets
⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 18
🍴 About to dig in to the congressional report on covid relief / #PPP loan scams. @CrossRiverBank's name comes up 16 times when I ctrl-f.

Reminder this is the most important crypto bank in America. It's @Coinbase and @Circle's bank, among others.
permanent.fdlp.gov/gpo189524/2022…
@crossriverbank @coinbase @circle 🧵2/Ω
@CrossRiverBank et al. "specialized in dubious loans" and "did not get better over time" as "lenders often doubled or tripled their potential misreporting rates in round 3 compared to rounds 1 and 2."

Sounds like (extremely) willful negligence. @oooitscrime
🧵3/Ω
@CrossRiverBank's executives anticipated that people would try to commit #PPP / covid relief fraud early in 2020 (w/in months of American pandemic's start), and yet as noted above 👆 they issued increasing percentages of fraudulent loans (and pocketed increasing fees).
Read 8 tweets
⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 17
🧵1/Ω A few things about @CrossRiverBank, a tiny #a16z funded lender that originated more #PPP loans for "small businesses" than anyone besides Chase, BofA, and Wells Fargo, mostly for people who were not their customers.

Also @Coinbase's preferred bank.
techcrunch.com/2022/03/30/cro…
🧵2/Ω They paid @McKinsey a bunch of money to tell the world that "while most banks originated PPP loans to their own customers, Cross River leads in originations to new customers"
mckinsey.com/industries/fin…
🧵3/Ω Unlike other banks that blew up on "fund banking" recently (*cough* $SBNY $SIVB *cough*) @CrossRiverBank does their "fund banking" differently:

They package all the loans and sell them to weird "fintech" companies like @Upstart. @mikulaja
Read 40 tweets
⚯ M Cryptadamus ⚯ | @cryptadamist@universeodon.com Profile picture
Mar 16
🚨Ω🚨
Here it is folks.

The moment you've been waiting for.

The first time it comes out on the floor of the Congress that we just bailed out a bunch of Chinese tech millionaires with links to the PRC at American citizens' expense...

💥💥~ 1:33:40💥💥
It gets even better when @SecYellen says that there will be no bailouts for anyone who holds more than $250,000 in a rural bank in Oklahoma that collapses [due to the Fed raising rates so quickly].

Trust me when I say you're gonna hear a lot about this for the next forever.
Without even commenting on right vs. wrong, I can just tell you this is the 2024 campaign:

Dems: "YOU ROLLED BACK REGULATIONS!"
Repubs: "YOU BAILED OUT COMMUNIST CHINAMEN!"

ad infinitum.

Here are some very wise words from the very wise wizard Chanos 👇
Read 6 tweets

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