It’s Time to Ditch Your Church Small Group:

In my course on Integrating Faith & Legal Practice we discuss the need helpers have for community. We have to care for ourselves in order to serve others. The conversation made me realize the problem w/ most church small groups🧵: 1st, to understand the issue let me give a healthy model. 1 day each week, my firm shuts down early for a staff meeting. The purpose is to give us an opportunity to communicate w/ each other about what’s going on in our lives - the things we’re struggling w/ emotionally. (2/12)

A miscellaneous thread of Trump trial verdict info from a legal POV as I find myself answering these questions in group texts & other places online 🧵: Why delayed sentencing?

In Texas the defendant is almost always entitled to a pre-sentence investigation (for probation eligible offenses) which helps the judge determine the appropriate sentence at the sentencing hearing. (1/2)

The sentencing hearing can consist of witnesses

Recently someone jabbed @ the fact I’m married to a ⚪️ woman. I’ve not hidden that fact nor our interracial family. But, I’m more protective of family since we were threatened in 2020.

In 2016, I chronicled my deconstruction journey from ⚪️ evangelicalism on FB (whew🙄) 🧵(1/8) If you’re really interested you can see it all there. But I’ll never let go of this portion I shared in July that year:

I grew up in a time & place where it was not socially acceptable to be black. If you wanted to see a movie with a black actor, you drove 45 minutes away (2/8)

Let’s talk about peer-led manipulations:

I’ve shared this in other contexts. It’s a pyramid scheme from a bird’s eye view. Here are the roles: 🧵(1/11) 1st, the Scammer. The scammer is the leader. The thermostat (they *set* the temperature in the room), not a thermometer (that *reads* the temperature in the room). They’re the “shot caller”. The leader’s Leader. (2/11)

Kyle, either unblock me or get a life. But either way, let’s maybe spend energy doing something other than spreading vitriol. People are looking to you to be a leader. Do better. Of all the controversial things I’ve said, drilling down on what should be an obvious joke & feigning to be incensed by it - after ALL THE JUNK YOU’VE POSTED…okay. 🤔

A friend, who’s a POC, owns a restaurant selling ethnic food. A while ago, the college pastor of a large church starting meeting a woman there. A lot. Later on it came out they were having an affair & he was removed.

But my friend told me something important I’ll never forget: All the times they met there, they never ordered a thing.

They were only meeting at an minority-run business because they knew they wouldn’t see people from church there.

This is disgusting for many reasons. His business was being used as an instrument of the affair.

“I’m sorry you misunderstood me” is NOT an apology. I typed this w/ JP’s “She was PERFECT”sermon in mind (plaid pastor). I’ve seen MEN who are assuaged by his apology. I’m not.

Here’s why:
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I need to get y’all’s input on a case I’ve been reviewing because the way the defendant has been framed publicly doesn’t feel deserved to me.

We’ve all seen how #BLM protests were characterized in the media & the treatment protestors got. (1/7) Rhetoric & implements deployed include: “Riots”. “Destruction of property”. K9s. Militarized police. Tear gas.

I’m raising all this now as the defendant’s mug shot is everywhere & he’s been discussed a lot lately. Defendant (D) is a 39yo 🟤 man, husband & father. (2/7)

Recovering Toxic Male here 👋🏾

I’ve been trying to articulate exactly why this sermon is SO problematic & I’ve finally landed on answers.

For the sake of argument let’s *assume* it happened exactly like he said it did.

Here’s how he SHOULD have preached it: 🧵(1/10)

https://twitter.com/christnnitemare/status/1626280315860705280

1) “I was out w/ friends & a very attractive woman offered to buy me a drink. This could just be kindness or a romantic gesture, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt & I told her I’m married. At that point, she confirmed that she was interested in me. *I* had a choice to make.”

I cannot overstate how hurtful it was after Charlottesville to see so many people I worshipped with defending tiki torch nazis, having the president applaud them, & the church I attended have absolutely nothing to say about it or the rise of racism in the body of Christ. I cannot overstate how harmful it was as a POC to have to beg church leaders to address how unbiblical their congregants’ racist online rhetoric had become & the fact God sees our online behavior just like our real world behavior.

And to have church leaders refuse to speak.

Fellas, need the perfect gift a woman this #ValentinesDay?

I have THE. BEST. thing for your GF /wife, it’s not too late for it, & it won’t cost you a thing. Want to know what it is?

Egalitarianism. 🧵: My wife & I have been married 17yrs + known ea/other 5yrs before that. Both raised in “model” complementarian, Godly homes. Both raised in the best ⚪️ evangelical, patriarchal, CN churches a 🐺 could want to dine in. Been to all the marriage conferences. Weekends to Remember.

Reflections on grief & #WakandaForever (spoiler free):

When someone you love deeply passes, it feels that it’s the end of the story or, at least, should be. We can’t picture life w/o that person; so when they’re gone, what is life? How is this supposed to work w/o them? It all seems wrong. The story is supposed to end here. I’m not supposed to see beyond the pages of the last chapter.

One of the hardest things in mourning is how the world keeps turning. The nerve of the sun to shine when the world ends.

It’s not just you.

If you’re enraged by the betrayal of those you loved & admired, who taught the word to you & somehow now have no regard for what it says, it’s not just you. If you find it difficult to read the Bible because every page screams about God’s sense of Justice, love of neighbor, the poor, the widow, & the orphan, & you can’t help wondering what bible they’re reading it’s because they’re not reading the Bible. It’s not just you.

What enabled me to definitively cut all ties to ⚪️evangelicalism & it’s people was the revelation that there are only 3 possible explanations as to why WECs didn’t change or seem to care:
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1. They don’t have the information; 2. They have the information but don’t see the importance of it; or

3. They don’t care.
——
As to (1): In the Information Age there is no excuse for ignorance. Especially when the best resource they could have had was you, their friend /family member, & didn’t listen to you.

“And forgive us 10% of our gross unsecured debt maturing at 3% per annum, as we...as we...whew! Hot in here; can I get some water? As we forgive the unsecured debt maturing at 3% per annum of...of...really, God?! *drinks full glass*...of others” Republicans out here reading like, “10th Amendment...okay, reserved to the states, sure sure. 11th, pfft! 12th, dilution, uh huh. 13th...*spit take* ...YOU WANT TO FREE THE WHAT????”

NO, SEE, BEARD THING IS FUNNY BECAUSE - What is the DesiringGod except The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood metastasizing?

Having one pastor of a church packing in 4K people weekly ask me, “what can we do?” about racism showed me we didn’t get here by ignorance but by intentional indifference. In 2022, no one’s so lacking imagination that they don’t recognize their influence or how to steward it. What can I do? I’m just a pastor overseeing the spiritual formation of hundreds or thousands of people.

What can I do? I’m just a teacher shaping 20 minds @ a time per period every day.

What can I do? I’m just a parent raising a future generation.

There are no flamingos in the Bible. Try as hard as you will to contort scripture but the fact remains, flamingos never show up. Not in the original text, not in any translation. There’s a reason for that.

I feel like the way the scientific community treats Pluto tracks with how society treats people of color. Pluto just out there trying to do its thing when 👨🏻‍🏫 was like, “Nah, you don’t even count. You’re not a planet.”

Pluto: “Do I get a say-”

👨🏻‍🏫: “Quiet, planeTOID” Pluto: “But I’ve been here-“

👨🏻‍🏫: “Shut up & rotate”.

Pluto: “Ok. My status as a planet matters-“

👨🏻‍🏫: “All planets matter”

Pluto: ...

👨🏻‍🏫: “But you’re NOT a planet, so...”

So what are we calling ourselves now? Because I love Jesus but I’m not keen on being associated w/ Christianity. The way “Christians” show up in your mentions in response to a post about how “Christians” troll & act ungodly 🥴

Me: Can we talk about structural racism?

Evangelicals: We need to talk about leggings.

Me: Can we talk about sexual assault in the church?

Evangelicals: We need to talk about leggings.

Me: We have GOT to talk about Christian nationalism.

Evangelicals: Leggings. Me: What about the idiocy of appointing charismatic folks w/ no biblical training to pastor thousands of peop-

Evglcls: It’s leggings.

Me: The historical formation of the Bible & cultural biases that certain authors brought to their writings against wome-

Evglcls: LEGGINGS!