Siyanda Mohutsiwa Profile picture
Woefully ungovernable and pathologically optimistic. Writer, Satirist & Pan-Africanist. 🇺🇸🇿🇦🇧🇼 🇸🇿 @IowaWritersWksp graduate & baby sociologist @uchicago
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Apr 21, 2023 11 tweets 2 min read
Y’all should have asked my Black ass what would happen when you let a an apartheid nepo baby run the most subversive social project in recent history. I’d have told you he’d absolutely destroy it. What a shame We’re talking about a man whose father whisked him out of South Africa because apartheid was ending soon and it was bumming his little boy out (“daddy the natives took my bicycle!”)
Apr 18, 2023 6 tweets 1 min read
There’s nothing like the confidence of a London pigeon. This was in a café 10 steps from St. Paul’s cathedral. These beasts don’t even fear god I’m still shocked. This pigeon was strolling at a leisurely pace like it was a shareholder in this prêt à manger and we were all just lucky to be allowed inside 🫨
Aug 10, 2022 15 tweets 3 min read
See this is what has our generation f*d up. We really do think a relationship is something you earn with stuff on a resume. smh We've been so trained into this over-achieving mindset that we really end up confused that people aren't falling in love with our achievements. I am not exempt from this of course, but this is seriously the cause of a lot of anger and heartache for people.
Jan 1, 2022 5 tweets 2 min read
I’m on episode two of #scenesfromamarriage and I’m 100% okay with physically fighting this tiny red headed woman cause she sounds CHILDISH When this girl said “you’d make fun of him” I really almost flinched from the force of the pure stupidity of this character #scenesfromamarriage
Jan 1, 2022 10 tweets 2 min read
One of western modernity’s greatest cruelties is the fact that couples are expected to raise newborns alone. I’ll never understand it and it really is an impossible thing In other cultures you give birth and a flight of female relatives descends upon you to take care of you (make you food and do chores) and help with the baby. You don’t just soldier on in a two bedroom apartment with only a partner who works full time. It is totally absurd
Apr 25, 2021 22 tweets 7 min read
In November, the @nytimes published an article about efforts in Asia to fight back COVID. They mentioned specifically 3 countries (Hong Kong, Korea and Japan) and outlined long histories of policy implementation by health officials in these nations trying to combat infections In the article, an epidemiologist from Hong Kong university is interviewed, an infectious disease specialist at Korea university in seoul is quoted, and there is a direct statement from the president of the Japan medical association. (this is important)
Jan 21, 2021 10 tweets 2 min read
How. Please tell me how. I’m begging you please. How can you talk about the economic “success” of countries like England, US and France and Spain and so on without once — EVEN ONCE — mentioning slavery, colonization, theft and corruption. Please I just want to know how sway. I’m not trying to be edgy. I genuinely want to know why people talk about Christianity, western culture, strong institutions or whatever as being behind their “success” without mentioning - I don’t know - decades of free money. Free labor. Free resources. Paid for with brutality
Jan 19, 2021 10 tweets 2 min read
Watching the Tiger Woods doc, I just felt intense pity for someone who seems to have willingly starved themselves of Black camaraderie and its many joys. Its difficult to comment on an adult's life, one I know quite little about. But imagine spending your whole life without the counsel of your kinfolk. That's the true tragedy to me.
Nov 8, 2020 5 tweets 1 min read
Last month it was “the Africans have strong genes” now they’re saying this. What if I told you it’s much simpler?

You were outgoverned and outpolicied by the countries you presume yourself superior to. It’s not that deep fam. How long will you punish yourselves with this stuff? Instead of learning something from others that could save your own country’s life?

No! it has to be something *cultural* and *genetic* because otherwise you would have thought of it first, right? What a tragedy
Oct 28, 2020 8 tweets 2 min read
I truly cannot fathom how an academic can go into an interview and claim that social media is responsible for college aged people’s depression and not mention even once the weight of staggering student loans. I crazy? How do people go on public forums and talk about anything else but the economic life of generation z? I heard this social psychologist blame “safe spaces” for increased depression in college aged people. I almost fainted.
Jul 2, 2020 10 tweets 2 min read
I’m beginning to suspect that “misunderstandings” like this are actually on purpose. 🤔

The mission seems to be making activisits seem ridiculous and arbitrary. Nobody asked for this but they frame it like we did & then groups like #blm lose credibility for nothing. That’s the only thing that explains all these weird concessions. Like when that publishing company decided to reissue classic books with Black people on the cover.

They “concede” to something imaginary & then huff “what more do these people want?” as if this was part of demands
Jan 11, 2020 6 tweets 2 min read
Sometimes I think this is the biggest hurdle to jump in modern politics; freeing people from the false identification with the wealthy. It is truly important that we share a single economic reality And it’s wild how embedded this misidentification is in corporate media. Business news is written from the perspective of shareholders and CEOs. Rarely those whose lives are shattered by things cutely named “streamlining” and “synergising” or whatever.
Jul 16, 2019 10 tweets 2 min read
Please spare a thought for the amount of extra labor women have to do in the workplace to make sure other women don’t have to interact with male predators. Think of women supervisors who have to take on more work because an intern doesn’t feel comfortable around some guy who she was supposed to be reporting to.
Mar 11, 2019 4 tweets 1 min read
Idris Elba should just go ahead and do an African James Bond where he spends half the movie applying for visas, being searched at the border, being stopped by the cops, being followed by shop attendants, having his enemies ask for his credentials... James Bond: *beating up guy in an alleyway*
Guy, being beaten up: wait...but where did you get your degree?
Feb 5, 2019 13 tweets 7 min read
Sorry about the gum Subscribe!
Jan 28, 2019 4 tweets 1 min read
Some of you are only here because some woman had the supernatural grace to not report you for rape. Your lack of gratitude, humility and empathy is more proof that you did not deserve that second chance. Instead of seeing the #metoo movement as a chance to reflect on your own past and realize that your life was spared, you choose to bash women and protect rapists like they pay your bills.
Jan 27, 2019 8 tweets 2 min read
I’m struggling to find a way to ask this question.

When people say “Scandinavia is a good example of social welfare helping everyone” and someone responds “But there’s no racial diversity in Scandinavian countries that’s why it works” - what on earth does that mean? And it is adult people who say such things. And every time i struggle to get my mind to understand this response. Populations with different skin tones make good social services impossible?
Jan 25, 2019 4 tweets 2 min read
I want to make an African game show called “So You Think You Can Bewitch Me?” Where contestants bring their family members and neighbors to the stage and accuse them of being behind their ill fortunes. Cc @Trevornoah - I’m optimistic that you can find a home for this idea
Jan 4, 2019 19 tweets 4 min read
Here, for no reason at all, is a short story:
#fiction The thing I notice about Richard is that he has stolen my appetite. When we meet for the first time at that Ethiopian restaurant downtown, I am staring first at his thin mustache and brown eyes. And then I am staring at my noodles and brimming with doubt.
Jan 1, 2019 10 tweets 2 min read
Dear western writers; do you ever stop to think: Who am *I* to proclaim a brown country “overpopulated”?

Indeed, who are you? If anything, it is we, of the global south, who consume less + pollute less per capita who should cast our eyes upon western nations with disapproval. Every time I read the adjective “overpopulated” to describe a non-Western nation, I cannot help but jump to a dangerous conclusion: that the writer has failed to prevent herself being inculcated with genocidal ideas.
Nov 9, 2016 21 tweets 2 min read
If people followed the alt-right groups on Reddit, they would know that young white Americans were told to hide their support of Trump. Many young men are told to keep their anti-POC, sexist views from their "libtard" family and friends. Hence this surprise from mainstream