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Tiffany Bond Profile picture
Tiffany Bond
@TiffanyBond
insta/threads @tiffanylbond spoutible @Tiffany @TiffanyBond https://t.co/90dVF0at0J https://t.co/lgQuYIdpJK CoSo: @bond @tiffanybond
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Nov 24, 2022 • 22 tweets • 7 min read
1st time cooking the bird today?

Start with a nice, long hot shower followed by a nice cup of tea.

All the romcoms make it look like Thanksgiving must be hell.

Choose your meal time, start cooking when your main will be done + an hour, make sides until annoyed, stop cooking 😉 We do a later meal here, so I'll start cooking about 5 hours before.

First up...shower and tea.

Then I'll triage sides.

If you need help, follow along and I'll answer questions as I go.

If you forgot to take your butter out last night - put it on the counter now.
Jan 7, 2021 • 13 tweets • 3 min read
My DMs tell me that I look like I'm not ok from this thread. ⤵️

I am not ok.

This is not ok.

But it isn't just this series of events...it's that this series of events comes from years of escalation and lack of enforcement, and by all appearances will be followed by the same. We are at a point where our governance is run by elected officials that increasingly are caricatures of positions, not legislators doing the work.

Getting into office is a measure of fundraising, favors, and platitudes - being in office is increasingly extended campaigning.
Jan 6, 2021 • 59 tweets • 20 min read
2020: I am an irony serial killer

2021: behold, I am here to deliver verklempt verbatim irony; v^2 irony This outfit though...that's commitment
Nov 6, 2020 • 19 tweets • 8 min read
Please, take #MaineRaising and make it #GeorgiaRaising.

It is my gift of a win to you.

Flood Georgia's small businesses and non-profits with resources.

Do not make the mistake you all made with money in Maine. This is me, giving you the Senate seat(s) you didn't give me the resources to give you in Maine. ⤴

Stop wasting money.

Invest in the community.

Like this, but for Georgia.⤵
Nov 4, 2020 • 7 tweets • 5 min read
I run the most grassroots campaigns you've ever seen.

Let's drop the drama, kick out the influence of money, and focus on what really matters in our federal law.

Help here: bond4.me/get-involved

Let's get some common sense back in politics. BUT YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT!?!??!?!!!

No problem! Maine has ranked choice voting.

Do you know how that works?
May 2, 2020 • 80 tweets • 20 min read
Me, opens up pizza stone from new in box

9: I didn't know you had that

M: yeah, I bought it before I met your dad

9: you have had this for 50 years and never opened it?

M: closer to 20 years

9: daaaad, mom has a secret hidden pizza stone

M: it's called "putting it away" Our boys are in the recycle bin pretending to be prairie dogs.

Very, very loud and giggly prairie dogs. Image
Mar 18, 2020 • 12 tweets • 3 min read
Why I think income limits on any cash infusions to the economy are a bad idea, a thread.

It seems like those who are pro means test don't understand how insane submitting paperwork to the government is, the bureaucracy the government is, or the staffing that this requires. I get that it seems wrong to give people who have money more money.

There are ways to tackle someone who didn't "deserve" stimulus on the backside with taxes, etc...for the folks who truly don't "deserve" it, many will donate, and this will be a negligible amount of $.
Mar 5, 2020 • 19 tweets • 6 min read
I feel this in the marrow of my bones.

Watching the treatment of the women in the presidential race, particularly @ewarren is exhausting, deeply painful, and fills me with a resignation cum hulk rage that could derail a freight train.

...and not because any were "my" candidate. I ran for office for the first time in 2018. I knew I had a few hits against me as a relative unknown and an independent. I'm also a very private person and had virtually no social media presence at the start.

I know that being deliciously boring can cut either way.
Feb 23, 2020 • 26 tweets • 11 min read
I've been asked a lot about #COVID19.

Here is the CDC's Q&A.

I would also add:
- Stay hydrated
- Get enough sleep
- Regular exercise
- Bulk up your grocery list; have supplies to last 14 days if needed, make sure you have a balanced diet
- Take a break from hand shakes/high 5s - Wash your hands before you touch your face
- Regularly wash surfaces in your home
- Microwave your kitchen sponge/or toss regularly
- Limit exposure to large gathering places
- Launder your winter coat, scarves, gloves, etc regularly
- Keep an eye out for updates on #COVID19
Feb 2, 2020 • 10 tweets • 7 min read
I'm running for the Senate in Maine with the most grassroots campaign you've ever seen.

Let's drop the drama, kick out the influence of money, and focus on what really matters in our federal law.

Help here: bond4.me/get-involved

Let's get some common sense back in politics. BUT YOU ARE AN INDEPENDENT!?!??!?!!!

No problem! Maine has ranked choice voting.

Do you know how that works?

Jan 23, 2020 • 9 tweets • 3 min read
It seems time to (yet again) explain ranked choice voting game theory in the context of toppling a well-established incumbent, so...

When you have a ranked choice primary, there is no benefit to piling on resources to a well-resourced front runner.

It's actually harmful. What does help, is running the primary in as egalitarian a manner as possible.

It benefits the front-runner (and all candidates) to graciously say "please lift us all up and choose the best among us."

What? Why?

Not only will you be more likely to put up the best candidate BUT
Aug 20, 2019 • 28 tweets • 12 min read
Ready for my Senator-less town hall.

#mesen #mepolitics #townhallmaine For those of you not in Maine, follow along to see how town halls go when Susan Collins doesn't show up.

Here is he live feed:
facebook.com/37398144679597…
#townhallmaine #mesen
Aug 4, 2019 • 4 tweets • 1 min read
Me: we have to fix this!

Them: the real problem is mental health

M: fine, we'll try it your way. Let's pass comprehensive access to mental healthcare for everyone.

T: oh, not *that* kind of mental health. I just want to call them crazy and not do anything.

M: 😐😡 T: it's not mental healthcare or gun owners...it's that crazy, bad people get guns

M: so more robust background checks with a mental health screen?

T: no, you are going to hurt GOOD ones

M: how do you tell good from bad then?

T: the bad ones shoot the wrong people

M: 😐😡
Jun 25, 2019 • 24 tweets • 5 min read
I've been asked to do a thread on game theory and ranked choice voting.

In most races, whomever gets the most votes wins...but this leaves you with a person <1/2 of voters like - Maine knows this situation well.

Voters get pitted against each other yelling "spoiler!!!!" Enter ranked choice voting.

RCV eliminates vote splits, and instead of yelling at people to GET OUT of the race, you get to weight all of the folks in the race - voting for the candidate(s) you really want to win first.
Jun 19, 2019 • 5 tweets • 2 min read
I would like to tell you a story about $11.19.

You see, today I was Lawyer of the Day for folks in custody. Going into this it is virtually certain that everyone helped will be poor, be ineligible for bail, and/or have serious charges; everyone else will have bailed out. #LOD There were several tragedies I handled today, but one of these really stuck out. I'm telling this story with permission, but using the pseudonym Bob for privacy.

Bob went to grab a beverage.

Three, in fact.

Three Mike's Hard Lemonades.

Bob didn't have his wallet.
Jun 2, 2019 • 13 tweets • 5 min read
I haven't done a #SundaySoapbox for a bit, so here is one inspired by expectations of women in politics.

This morning I woke up to 3 messages on the same tweet. I recognize the person I was replying to and have a generally favorable opinion of them, I wasn't mad or upset when responding.

I don't respond in public in the rare moments when I feel upset by someone; I put my device down.

Here is the exchange:
Apr 10, 2019 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
A short thread on Ranked-Choice Voting for all of my new followers.

You know how Democrats get really mad at Independents when they run because they split the vote, and Independents often sit home because they feel excluded? Not a thing here in federal races. Our ballots look like this.

If someone gets 50%, they win.

If no one gets 50%, the candidate with the lowest # of votes is eliminated and there is an "instant run off" where their next choice candidate is awarded the vote.

This continues until someone gets 50%.
Apr 3, 2019 • 13 tweets • 5 min read
You're correct, I'm not accepting campaign contributions. It was an April Fool's joke.

However, if you want me to run for Senate...you can make that part real. It will take a little bit from each of you in the most crowd-sourced campaign possible. Here's what we are up against:

Susan Collins has about 500k followers on twitter alone.

She has access to near-unlimited financial resources.

Susan has a very favorable relationship with the media (particularly local) and can get any TV/radio/newspaper coverage she wants.

😬
Mar 17, 2019 • 6 tweets • 5 min read
This week has been so entirely soul-sucking and gross. Let's find ourselves again. Will you help me help Maine?

If you are angry, sad, and miss politics feeling human, do a #MaineRaising.

Do one or both of the following (and pass it on) - we make make politics kind together... Go shopping!

Buy anything from any small business anywhere in Maine.

When you shop, use the special instructions/comments to let them know I sent you, make sure to add #MaineRaising.

Screen shot your message and share your #MaineRaising on social media to help it spread.
Feb 26, 2019 • 8 tweets • 4 min read
Susan Collins voted for #S311.

You should be mad about this bill, whether you are pro-choice, pro-life, or DGAF.

This bill was written to make people angry, not make good law. I don't have the time to line by line this one, but here are highlights.

#Readthebill #mepolitics The entire purpose of this bill was to divide people into feral pro-life or pro-choice camps...but it's actually crap law. Why you say?

A live birth is a live birth. A live birth creates the same laws for infants that apply to others.

#Readthebill
Feb 23, 2019 • 4 tweets • 2 min read
It's the middle of the night and I see the #GreenNewDeal has reared its head again.

I'm befuddled about anyone getting upset about their Senator signing on (or not) since right now it's much ado about nothing.

Before you go all Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure, remember...1/4 This "bill" has no structure, plans, budget, scope, or y'know meat of any sort on bones that aren't even functional enough to be a mock classroom skeleton.

I wouldn't attack anyone who doesn't sign on with resounding passion, nor would I praise anyone who isn't skeptical.
2/4