How to *not* make Christmas a horrible time for your #autistic friends and family.

A thread 🧵🧵🧵

Please share!

1. Don't force us to smile all the time. Some of us might be very happy, but it doesn't show on our faces. Our emotion and expression don't always match. 2. Do let us escape if we need to, even if it's in the middle of Christmas lunch. It might be an important meal, but if I know I can get up and decompress in a quiet room whenever, I feel far less stressed. #autistic

Society needs a total overhaul about the assumptions that are made about people.

We probably can't realistically stop people making instant assumptions based on behaviour, but we can adjust the parameters they're made in. For example, someone with no knowledge of autism might assume, oooh I don't know, a teenager on an ipod in a theatre is 'bored' or 'rude'.

Someone who knows a little about autism and stims/special interests etc would assume, 'ah, maybe they're autistic, no problem'.

Making vulnerable autistic people do pretty much *all* the work when it comes to bridging the communicative gap between autistic people and non-autistic people:

Not exactly fair, is it? What does this work include?

Masking, scripting, anxiety, trying to pre-empt misunderstanding, dealing with the fallout of misunderstanding, trying to raise understanding and acceptance of neurodiversity....

Been in the old big smokey apple (London) today doing some filmed interviews on neurodiversity with some lovely film producers from the US. Very fun experience - I now have a blooper reel all of my very own cos I can't keep a straight face. Then afterwards I got rained on and got really wet feet and socks and went home.

So, swings and roundabouts.

None of us wanted to face fascism in our lives but, like our grandparents and great-grandparents it looks like we're going to have to. It's here, and it's loud, and it feels overwhelming.

But there are still good people. Hate can never win completely. Because there can be no doubt that what we see in America, the UK, Hungary, Italy, Russia is different forms of 21st century fascism, at different stages, wrapped in a modernity that hides its true nature to anyone who isn't paying attention.

So what's the deal with autistic people and routine?

Many, if not most, autistic people are heavily reliant on set routines of many types. Daily routines, morning routines, routines at work or school, hygiene routines, chore routines....

(a thread 🧵🧵🧵 - please retweet!) Often these routines are viewed by outsiders as 'rigid' or 'obsessive. Sometimes they are viewed with frustration and autistic people encouraged to ditch them.

This represents a total failure of understanding what's going on.

#autistic

Autistic kids in school get so stressed by every aspect of school and then they're the ones expected to modify their behaviour and somehow cope, rather than teachers trying to understand their struggles and giving them compassion.

It's simply not fair, nor rational. Putting pressure on autistic kids to just swallow up the HUGE stress brought on by social difficulties, sensory sensitivity and executive dysfunction, so that they can mask and behave in the 'acceptable' way is just ridiculous.

My whole life, I've impressed on first impressions and then gradually lost all that respect over time.

I now know that masking has at least a small part to play in this, as my masking was clearly excellent to start with, and then deteriorated. Chronic pain didn't help too. But I recognise the sinking feeling when I realise others' opinion of me is starting to slip.

Probably doesn't help that I'm inconsistent, disorganised, constantly anxious and occasionally meltdown.

Autistic people's support needs can fluctuate a great deal, day to day, week to week, even hour to hour.

Sometimes (even often) an autistic person who seems to get by OK will have terrifying days where they feel totally unable to cope.

Source: existing

#autistic If you don't closely know an autistic person, you'd never necessarily see them on a 'bad day'. I'm very adept at hiding myself away when really struggling to cope. But this can lead to a situation where its assumed we're always fine, always coping, always in control.

Autistic Special Interests are more than 'hobbies' or 'obsessions'. They have a regulatory element, helping so many autistic people manage their elevated stress levels in a hostile world. They can be a true comfort and sanctuary.

#autism #autistic They are not treated by non-autistic onlookers with the respect they deserve, seen as an irritation or quirk.

This causes a fair amount of damage.

10 things you can change that will help #autistic people in your life:

1. Don't demand everyone makes eye contact with you. For autistic people, this can be alienating as eye contact can be really intense and unpleasant. 2. Enough with the unasked-for physical contact! Autistic people can be hyper sensitive to touch, so being all touchy-freely can be really, really horrible. Unless you know its OK, don't do it.

Anyone else a hit bewildered by how 'excuse' is seen as a bad thing? Like, if you have an excuse people are like 'woah lazy feckless fucker' when actually no, something actually happened so I couldn't do the thing.

It's so strange "I don't want to hear excuses"

Well i broke my neck/had a migraine/fell down the stairs so you're shit out of luck then

I've realised my big problem at the moment is trying to advocate on LinkedIn too. I just can't do it. It feels off on there somehow. I'm going to stick to Twitter. I feel like it's obsessed with pushing autistic people as valuable to business, and I absolutely despise that outlook.

It's not a great look when someone comes on twitter to tell the world they have a new autism diagnosis, only for autistic people to attack them for using the 'wrong words'.

How are they meant to know? I don't like this. It feels really unpleasant to me. Some of it was joking but god I'd hate to be the OP in that case. You know, cos autism - and joking, especially from strangers, ain't easy to judge.

So it's autistic pride day - I honestly had no idea, which is strange. I'd lkke to talk about pride and autism - a quick thread. 🧵🧵🧵 I think all autistic people deserve to feel proud of one thing in particular: managing to cope in this unfriendly world. Even though its intensely difficult, we manage, for the most part, to get through each day.

What happens if my routine slips, as an autistic and (probably) ADHD person?

A thread 🧵🧵🧵

Please read and share. My routine is mostly in place to keep my stress levels down. As an autistic person, I am constantly beset by a sensory barrage of info that I struggle to filter, and endless communication difficulties with neurotypical people. Keeping a good routine is a way of reclaiming control

Getting home from work, unmasking and throwing it onto the back of the sofa like a bra or tie.

#AutisticMasking We're forced to mask, like an intrusive and unreasonable extension of a dress-code, because if we don't - and let being autistic breathe a little - then we get loads of grief in various forms.

Best example of a bad faith take I've ever seen. Look at it, it's amazing how disingenuous it is. I'll explain why.

https://twitter.com/DPJHodges/status/1526133669479469056

1. The interviewee in question was responding to what people should do *now* to improve their situation, because the crisis is *now*. Securing better jobs 'in the long term' therefore is irrelevant.

My hair.

I'm 39. This is the face of 'oh shit I haven't changed my profile picture for years'

Easy fixes that schools can implement today to help their autistic students - a thread just off the top of my head.

If you're involved in edutwitter, please retweet into your circles.

🧵🧵🧵 1. Allow autistic children to leave lessons a few minutes early to avoid the rush of lesson changeover. These times can be awful from a sensory point of view. #autistic #education

Just a reminder that the news outlets in this country are so heavily weighted Conservative, that Labour, the Greens and to a lesser extent the Lib Dems are always fighting against massive media bias. We have seen in the last 5 years just how potent that media support is in deciding political outcomes. The fact that Labour in 97 benefited from The Sun converting (briefly) to Labour is another sign of just how powerful this is.

The BBC being slavishly pro-gov doesn't help.