Thread by @CCChatMagazine

Things I’ve learnt that have enabled a much better understanding of #coercivecontrol

A THREAD

On evidence:

People will focus all their attention on the minutiae but you need to look at it in context- at the big picture.
#evidence
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On people:

The "halo effect" is deeply underestimated.

This is when one trait of a person or thing is used to make an overall judgment of that person or thing. It supports rapid decisions, even if biased ones.
#unconsciousbias
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On trauma:

Fight or flight are not the only responses to trauma and trauma does not have to be a life sentence.

#trauma
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On manipulation:

If someone is ‘ soft spoken’ in public, it does not mean they are ‘soft spoken’ in private.

#gentle
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On memory:

Memory does not work like a video recorder. Some days you will remember some details, on others days you will remember other details.

#memories
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On denials:

The louder and more emphatic the denial, the more aggrieved and outraged the person that is denying, the more you have to look beyond it.
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On enablers:

Coercive control absolutely relies on enablers. Without them the controller would not have the power to do what they do.

Both active colluders and unwitting bystanders reinforce the controller’s narrative.
#bystanders
#understandingcoercivecontrol

On victims:

Victims aren’t perfect and they have pasts.

By scrutinising a victim’s past in a quest for “proof” we often take attention away from the abuser.
#understandingcoercivecontrol

And, most importantly....

On generalisations:

Coercive control is specific to the victim. It relies heavily on knowledge of the victim, their histories, their fears and their weaknesses.
What is controlling in one relationship is not necessarily controlling in another.