Thread by @Ra_Bies

On International Women’s Day, let’s wish Smt Soni, a source of inspiration & role model for millions of women. She was raised in a poor family in a village in Italy but through her skills, hard work, determination & commitment, she became one of the richest women of the world

Her story is so inspiring, touching & heart wrenching.
“You’re good for nothing”, she heard this too many times from her teachers. One of them even mocked her “Tanne naachne ke ilaawa bhi kuch aave ke?”, hearing this she got upset & that was the turning point of her life

She grew up & befriended a handsome local boy from the village who used to bring alcohol & girls for Mirchi Seth, a mafia and drug dealer. The boy fell for Soni after she depicted her dancing 💃 & other hidden skills. She told him “Jaanu manne London jaana se”

Micheal Gorci was the name of that boy. He playing with her golden soft hair murmured “Chhori London jaane mein passport laage, thhara koyi address toh hove na”, Soni was clever, “Mirchi seth se bol na, saala kis kaam aavega susri ka”, she said

Micheal was hell impressed with Soni’s guts but had an apprehension “Mirchi kisi ka saga na se, woh bhi kuch maangega nakli passport banaawan khatir”, he told Soni. “Khus kar de gi Soni ussne, ja keh de”, Soni said with a conviction in her voice

That was the beginning of her success story. She pleased anyone and everyone on her journey to become a bar dancer in an Irish pub in London. Once she was dancing on “Babuji dheere chalo bijli giri” in that pub when two rich Indian boys entered in

One of the boys was named Maddy, very charming & flirtatious, other one was good looking but shy, Raj was his name. Maddy looked at Soni and smiled. Soni winked & while continue dancing she filled boys’ mugs with beer

Maddy & Raj got drunk. Maddy was dancing with Soni and singing “Billo rani kaho toh abhi jaan de dun”. Boys introduced themselves to her & after knowing who the boys were, Soni’s eyes began to shine like stars. Soni spent that night with Maddy

It became a regular feature for the boys to go in the pub, watching Soni dance, getting drunk. Maddy spent many nights with Soni. Raj by now was befriended by clever and ambitious Soni because she could see her future in him

“I’m not going to that bloody bar”, Mandy yelled one day. “Why?”, asked Raj. “I’m bored with Soni, I need change”, Maddy said smoking a cigarette. Raj sighed & left for the pub. “Pencho Maddy kahan hai aaj”, Soni asked. “He won’t come” Raj said shyly

“Raj mhare dil se pooch toh tu manne bahut pyaara laage”, Soni said smilingly. Raj’s heart started racing. Soni started caressing Raj’s hairy chest. “Sau saal pahle mujhe tum se pyaar tha aaj bhi hai kal bhi rahega”, Raj hummed

“Will you marry me?”, Raj bent down on one knee & proposed Soni. “Haay manne biswas na ho raha”, Soni smiled. She continued “Tu mahlon ka raja main galiyon ki Rani, thaare ghar waale manne accept kar lenge kya?” Soni tried to sound innocent. “That’s my job”, Raj said

‘Half job done”, Soni thought. Enough of dancing in bars, time had come when Soni could make others dance. Maddy was initially annoyed with Raj but conceded thinking that his own future lies with Raj as the latter was an Indian prince destined to rule India some day

That was around half a century back. All aspirations all ambitions met, all dreams became true. Today Soni is one of the richest women of this galaxy. “Mhare raaste mein jo bhi aavega woh choor choor ho jaavega”, She recently told BBC when asked about Maddy Raj & Raj’s mom

That was ‘Soni - An Untold Truth”. With this I once again wish Soni a very happy International Women’s Day”.
Some prequels and sequels may come later if the readers like this story

“WHO’S YOUR DADDY”, screamed Raj while pushing hard in & out. It was mid October 1969. “Oh God ya Allah deeper more more”, moaned Soni. Suddenly Raj realised he wasn’t wearing any condom but it was too late but doesn’t matter, the Clown was already conceived couple of days before

Years after Soni left Italy & settled with Indian prince, she hadn’t forgotten her roots. Once she visited her village where the empire of Mirchi Seth was unabated. She went to him. “Tanne ke chahiye meri darling”, Murchi asked. “Manne Mandwa wapis de”, Soni said in a vengeance

“Tanne Mandwa chahiye toh keemat deni padegi”, Mirchi Seth said with a Tharoorish smile. “Gaanu, kitni keemat?” asked Soni. “Chhamia pahle jaraa naach”. Soni got up & danced on “Husn ke lakho rang
Kaun sa rang dekhoge
Aag hai ye badan
Kaun sa ang dekhoge” She was hot & horny

“Chal ab haveli mein”, drunk Mirchi Seth asked Soni. Soni, who by now was also intoxicated but successfully seduced Mirchi Seth, agreed & both went into Mirchi’s bedroom. Mirchi was unstoppable & Soni was thirsty too. “Kasam se aisa majaa India mein na howe se”, Soni exclaimed

“Thaare mei India jaake aur garmi aa gayi hai nachaniya”, Mirchi Seth complimented. “Jyaada maska nako maar, Mandwa ki keemat bol”, Soni roared. “10 million dollar na ek pence kam na jyada”, Mirchi was a businessman. “Swiss account number bol BSDK”, Soni said in a commanding tone

“I’m sending 10 million through wire, you’d get it, now sign these docs”, Soni asked Mirchi. “Ghana paisa aa gaya, tu India mein kare ke yo bata jaanu”, “Seth mai aur mera marad maalik howein hain India ke, log pooja karein hamari aur hum unko loot te hain”, Soni was candid

Grabbing land from anyone & everyone had become Soni’s habit and hobby back in India. No one dared to come in her way. Once Raj’s mom asked her to help her in kitchen. “BKL, thhare baap ki naukar na hun main kati”, she yelled. Indu, Raj’s mom too got angry & yelled back “Kameeni”

Indu had many responsibilities to take care of. She lost her husband long back but there were many men in her life, she though always dominated & remained on top. She was determined to teach Soni a lesson. She’d a plan. But Soni was cunning of next level & could go to any extent

Indu used to see Maddy meeting Soni at odd hours & at times spending night with her when Raj was not around. Indu called Soni & asked what do she & Maddy do in Soni’s bedroom. “Dayan mai Maddy ke sang apne bedroom mein Ludo toh khelun na, aage tu samajhdaar se” Soni replied

Raj was making pakode, drunk Soni & Maddy were playing Holi with Soni dancing & singing “Balam pichkaari joh tanne maari toh yo Italian chhori deewani ho gayi”. Maddy was clinging Son, Indu arrived & yelled “Bhencho ye koi Ra*dikhana hai?”. Listening her roar, Raj peed in pants

Soni soon learnt tricks of the game. She made friends with powerful people for grabbing land, vacating tenants etc. Once a minister came with a few crores to get his land vacated from goons. “Soni paison ne haath na lagaaye jab tak kaam ne anjaam na de de”, a principled Soni said

Soni was often invited at the Lutyens parties. Rich & famous politician, journalists, film stars loved to drink & dance with her. She was quite choosy with the music. Once the DJ wasn’t playing music of her choice, a drunk Soni got up & sang “ DJ waale babu mera gaana chala do”

It was 19th Sept. 1969, at one Lutyens party, Soni got quite drunk. Maddy took an inebriated Soni to drop her home. Maddy was driving while & the car stereo was playing “Roop tera mastsna bhool koi humse na ho jaaye”. Next morning he got a call from Soni “Bhool ho gayi”, she said

The source, an ‘alleged’ historian who narrates me all this emphasised on the date, 19th September, 1969. I was confused if this date had any significance. I wonder if it makes any sense. Anyway I’d continue

For a while coming to present day. Clown after knowing Soni’s past ‘connection’ with Sam Tech is confused, excerpt of convo:
Clown: Maddy, Jag Tat, Dig, Desert Pilot & now Sam. Why don’t you gimme the whole list?
Soni: Son, I can give you an exception list, that’s the smaller one

Raj was a mute spectator to Soni’s growing lust for money & men. But one day he found her with bearded Jaggu, he confronted “How many men you need?” Soni replied angrily “Manne yo sanskaar thaare parivar se mile, saasu ma bhi toh ghani kheli khaayi se, Baramchari aur wo Mithai”

Readers who are confused who this Jaggu was, I asked the narrator same thing and he says, Jaggu had an important role to play after an accident in 1984 that caused untimely death of Soni’s Saasu Ma. Jaggu then had used tyres to literally burn many men in turban & their families

Soni was cunning like a fox. She made sure Raj & his bro San don’t get along. She hated San’s wife Maina, whom she found her arch rival & she wanted all the inherited wealth. She made her intentions clear to Raj “Iss kalmuhi ne mai footi kaudi na dun thhare ma baap ki jaydaad ka”

Soni was & still is a focused woman, she meant only business. Once when Maddy was through, he started singing “Ye shaam mastaani madhosh kiye jaaye”, Soni scolded him “Yo romantic hon ki jaroorat na se, ibb nikad yahan se aur bahar Sham Pit baitha se, ussne bheetar bhej de”

A nerdy Sham Pit came in carrying a big box, he kept it on the table & started unbuttoning himself, “Yo keh hai iss dabbe mein Somu?” Soni asked getting undressed. “Thees is chomputer Soni baby. This will kheep record of all your lund transactions” Sham said in American accent

“Par manne yo kamputer chalanda na aave aur ib isski kit kar jaroorat thi BSDK”, asked Soni. Sham Pat whose act didn’t last long even for 30 seconds replied “Thees can do big calculation in seconds”, “Matbal yo bhi thaare jaise seconds mein kaam poora kar de”, Soni mocked Sham

Let me take you few years back, Sham Pat was born in a Gujarati family as Sham Lal Patwardhan but changed his name to Sham Pat due social pressure and to impress Raj & Soni who once visited US & met him. It was the time when the era of computerisation had begun

When Raj & Soni had gone to US, Soni told Raj “Yo saala Sham Pit bade kaam ki cheej hai”. Raj didn’t understand, Soni explained “Sun dhakkan, Kamputer India mein ghane mehange sey, Sam ne apna agent bana le, jahan se le kar India mein bechenge, rupayye ke dollar bann jaaweinge”

“Custom duty on computers in India is very high, after paying it, there is no margin”, Raj said. “Mhara bhi kis chutiye se pala pad gaya. Thhari amma kis din kaam aawegi”, Soni said. Raj’s eyes shined & he said “Great, I’d be remembered as the man who brought Computers to India”

Once Soni met a Punjabi friend of Raj, a very witty person. She was very impressed with him, she asked him “How do you say ‘How are you?’ in Punjabi?”, “Whore ki haal chaal?”, he said. Soni laughed & replied “Wadiya, tussi daso”. Soni was a quick learner

Soni was mesmerised by the looks & wit of the Punjabi friend of Raj & she asked “Main tuawaade layi cha banani haan, kedi cha piyoge?”
“Lipton di cha”, he said in a mischievous tone. “Mennu vi”, said a vibrant Soni. In no time she cling to him & started kissing him passionately

During a visit to Japan, Raj saw a Robot working in a factory, astonished Raj told Soni “Robot can be programmed & it works accordingly, should I take one for you, it’d do all household chorus”, “Ghar ke kaam yo karega toh phir thaari amma almaari mein bathegi ke” Soni stormed

“You’re wicked, Soni. Robots can be very useful. Robot is like a human being who would work exactly how you’d want”, Raj explained. Soni suddenly had spark in her eyes & she said “Yo agar woh kaam bhi kar de joh siraf mard kar saken toh issne le chal, apne kamre mein rakh lungi”

Ups & downs are part of life. News broke that San tragically died in a private plane crash. It was a sad day for the family. Soni told Raj “Manne issmein koi saajish laage”. “Who could do it?”, Raj asked Soni. Soni winked looking in the direction where Indu was standing

Only time Soni liked Indu & her manner of working was in mid 70s. Indians were subjected to atrocities, those who protested were killed or prisoned. “Sasu Ma, yo badhiya kaam kar rahi hai ye saala Hindustani joote ke neechey rahe toh hi sahi”, she said. She learnt many tricks

Brahamchari teaching yoga to Indu in her bedroom was still a regular visitor. Soni used to peep from window & saw them performing various asanas & massage therapy. Soni too learnt & practiced the same with Maddy & numerous others. She has been a health conscious woman all through

During that era a new visitor started coming to meet her MIL Indu. He was a young good looking Sikh in her early 30s. He used to wear long blue kurta & carried sword. “Tera naam ki hai munde?” Soni couldn’t resist asking. “Bhinder, tu Soni hai na, mennu sab pata hai”, he said

Soni saw Bhinder & got week on her knees, she was wet. Just a glimpse of Bhinder made Soni thirsty. She bolted her room from inside, opened her locker & took out a long & thick object she’d brought from England. She turned on the stereo so that no one should listen her moan

She was curious about what was going on between Indu & Bhinder. She noticed Indu gave Bhinder loads of money. “Sasu ma, yo Bhinder ke saath ke rishta hai thhara?”, she asked. “He is my advisor & please stop stalking him, you’ve no dearth of men for your desires” Indu pleaded

“Sun kameeni, manne joh karna mai wahi karungi, joh ukhaadna hai ukhhad le”, Soni told Indu. That night she predicted “Ibb thhari mummy Bhinder ko leader bana rahi hai, tu dekh liyo yo Bhinder Frankenstein banega aur jaan jaawegi thhari ma ki”. Raj got frightened. Soni smiled

Once Soni saw Brahamchari coming out of Indu’s bedroom. She called him & asked “Yo saasu ma tanne kitne paise de hai Yoga seekhan ke”. “I don’t take money, Kanya. It’s give & take, in kind”. Brahamchari said. “Manne bhi kabhi karwa de yo asan”, Soni said while dropping her pallu

Maddy, Pit, Jaggu, Pilot & other friends gathered at wedding anniversary of Raj & Soni. An intoxicated Raj said “I’d sex with my wife before marriage”. Many many voices erupted “Me too”. Raj asks “But many of you’re aren’t married”. Soni winked “They aren’t talking of their wife”

It was mid summer that Soni gave birth to a physically healthy boy. There was a wave of jubilation in the family. Raj cut short his flying schedule & arrived at the hospital. “I’m baby’s dad”, he told the nurse. “Pencho, daddy toh abhi milkar gaya, 2-2 dad?” Nurse was confused

Raj went to the doctor & thanked her. He asks her “I hope you examined & my baby is healthy”. Doctor congratulated him & assured him “He is physically healthy but his brain is very small”. “I hope it’ll grow when he grows up”, Raj said. Doctor laughed & said “Ye aisaichh rahega”

“Iss chhore ne kisi jyotshi ke daure le chal Raj aur isska naamkaran bhi karwa de”, Soni told Raj. Raj, a committed family man obeyed her and they all went to a renowned priest in Kerala. “Iss balak ka naam C alphabet se rakhne ka” Priest pronounced

“C se manne ek hi naam yaad aave se par uss te toh school mein chhore chhedenge issne” Soni told the priest. “Aisa nako sochna sister”, Priest said. Soni was shocked as it was first time someone called her ‘sister’. She angrily warned the priest “Gaanu mai kissi ki sister na su”

Priest went into deep thoughts & came out with a solution, “This boy will be named as Clown Prince”. Soni clapped. Priest went on “This boy is very talented. Ye shareer se bada hota rahega par isska dimag chhota hi rahega. Akha duniya mein log issko chu ka naam se pukaren ge”

A young boy from an MP royal family used to visit Indu’s family. Raj introduced him to Soni “He is Dig” A couple of days later when Dig came in a new car, Soni looked at him & danced singing “Lamborghini chlaayi jaane oh, Sanu vi jhoota de do,
Kithe kalle-kalle jaayi jaane oh”

Dig was flattered. “Kya tunch maal hai”, he murmured before dancing & singing on “Tu mere saamne mai Tere saamne tujh ko dekhun ke pyaar karun” “Dekhna hai toh dekh pyaar karna hai toh pyaar kar, thhari marji ” Soni giggled. Hungry Dig jumped over the thirsty Soni

“Zindgi bhar teri sewa karunga kasam udaam jhalle bas Soni tu hamme aise hi khush karti reh” Dig vowed. “Thaare jaise logon ko khus karne khaatir hi mhara janm hua” Soni kissed Dig. “Aaj se Clown ke diaper tu hi badlega” Soni told Dig who happily took the job

It was Clown’s birthday. Dig changed Clown’s diaper, bathed him, made him wear baba suit, got milk bottle & asked him to drink milk. Clown was happy, “Did untle, aad mudde gift milende na?” Clown asked. “Aaj toh tanne bahut gift milenge, tu 18 saal ka jo ho gaya hai” Dig replied

“Hein re Dig, Clown ne nahla diya?”, Soni asked Dig. “Nahla diya kapde bhi pahna diye, diaper bhi change kar diya, doodh bhi pila diya, dhoom dham se manaavenge Baba ka 18 va janamdin” Dig tried to impress Soni hoping to get some reward in kind that night

But Soni had something else in her mind. “Sun re Dig, aaj ek spesal guest aave ga Keral se, uss ka dhyan raakhiyo, ghana angej hai vo”, Soni ordered. “Naam kya hai usska?” Dig felt jealous. “Sas Sas bolen sab ussne, handsome se chhora, ussko khus raakhiyo”, Soni told Dig

Clown’s 18th Birthday was being celebrated with lot of exuberance & fanfare. Clown got many gifts mainly toys, milk bottles, Bournvita, Cartoon books, picture books. He was jumping with joy watching these. All Raj’s friends were there but not the one Soni was waiting for

Soni was getting restless. She was desperate to meet Sas Farur who she’d once seen in a Lutyens party. She’d found him very charming & handsome. “Ek baar mil jaave toh issne poora nichod legi Soni”, she told Zohra Bai, her friend philosopher & guide, a famous female pimp

“Sas Farur 10 saal chhota hai tere se” Zohra said. “Sex na dekhe chhota bada mausi”, Soni said with her hand between her legs. “Jawaan chhoron ke sang majaa alag hi hai, yo Maddy Sham Dig se kati bore ho li mai, naya maal gora chitta baanka jawaan chahiye ibb manne”, she said

It was 9 PM, celebrations were in the full flow when Soni saw handsome magical charming Sas Farur entering in the hall. She got totally numb & dazzled at the same time. She was wearing a backless deep neck pink gown that was hiding less & revealing more

Sas Farur got surrounded by young girls as always. But Soni was no less a charmer & had international experience of wooing & seducing men. She took a glass of wine & started dancing on
“Aa jaane jaa
Aa meraa ye husn javaan javaan
Thaare liye hai aas lagaaye
Zaalim aa jaanaa na”

Sas Farur had long hair unlike Raj who was almost bald. He through his big eyes looked at Soni & smiled. It was enough for Soni to get wet. “Control Soni control”, Soni told herself. “Mhara naam toh suna hoga tanne, Soni kahwen hain log mujhe”, Soni introduced herself with a swag

“Having an aquaintance with Aphrodite, the goddess of love, sex & beauty is pleasure of mine”, flirtatious Sas Farur said in his usual accent, he shook hand with Soni & gave her a peck on cheek. “Manne kuch palle na pada joh tu bola par manne chokha laga”, Soni said. Sas laughed

Farur got a drink, went near Soni, making circles on her neck he sang
“aapkaa hi naam lekar, pi hai sabhi ne aap par dhadak rahen
hai pyaalon ke sine
yahan ajanabi koi nahi
ye hai aapaki mahafil tamaam
chalkaye jaam
aaiye aapaki aankhon ke naam
hothon ke naam”
Lust was in the air

Soni deliberately dropped a flower on the floor & bent to pick it. Farur leching at her whispered in her ears “Kabhi mere saath raat guzaar subah tak karun pyaar” & stuff like that. Soni smiled & said “Raja aaj raat kamre mein aa jaana kundi mat khadkaana”.
Soni was classy

In the party Raj spotted a young Nigga who was washing dishes, he asked Soni “Who is this kaalu with curly hair?”, Soni laughed & said ”Yo Raju se, journalism seekhe hai, manne rakh liya issne, ghar ki saag safai kar lega, maalis bhi kar devega, boxing bhi aave hai iss chhore ne”

“Ghane kaam ka manas hai yo Sas Farur. Manne issne set kar diya hai, aaj raat issne poora apne bas mein karun hu”, Raj agreed & told her “That’s your job baby, this man can win us a state, go please him & get pleased”, he said. “Ye kya Rand*khaana hai”, a certain General screamed

Readers who are curious and asking about relationship of Soni & Indu, for the benefit of the readers & removal of doubts, it’s being clarified that both of them were straight and had lust for men only except in some special circumstances. Else, these two were typical arch rivals

It was an autumn mirning. Soni having a shower was humming “Kisi aur ki manne jaroorat kya khud se pyaar jataayun mai” & she heard sound of firing from the garden. She murmured “bhencho yo toh goliyon ki awaaj laage”. She wrapped herself in a towel & came out & peeped from window

Soni saw Indu lying in a pool of blood with many people in uniform around there. She got frightened but a bit relieved too. “Jo jaisa kare vo vaise bhare”, she told herself. She quickly wore a white saree, put glycerine in her eyes & stormed out of the room screaming “Saaasu ma”

It was tragic for that Indu was no more. Soon after a vengeful Raj calked his friends Jaggu, Lotus, Sajju, HaKLu, Maddy, Rapilot & many other goons. He was a coward but still, anguished. “Bhai apun dekh lenge, kisi Singh ko nahin chhodenge” Jaggu Sajju & old HaKLu promised Raj

Next evening it was quite late that Soni was drinking red wine & Raj entered with his gang. Raj informed Soni that they’d successfully caused riots to happen & so far more they were successful in getting more than thousand people from a particular community kiIIed

“Udi baba, more than thousand” Soni was joyous, she soon gulped two more glasses of wine. It was after many years that Soni shared the bed with Raj. That night she was sensual & passionate singing & dancing on “Aaj phir thhare par pyaar aaya se behad aur besumaar aaya se”

During the customary prayer meetings Soni kept a dimmed face & sad muted expressions though she was quick in assessing the situation around. “Jo sapna thaari Soni ne dekhya tha woh ibb poora hon waala se” She texted her mom who was now living lavishly in Sicily

In a span of less than five years, two hurdles, Raj’s brother & his Ammi were removed. Soni was feeling victorious. Theoretically Raj was the head but the real power vested with Soni. “Soni ibb duniya par raaj karegi” she told Maddy that night while riding over him vigorously

“How you managed to get rid of her”, Sas asked Soni while fondling grapes which were bigger this time. “Aasaan na tha kati, pichle ek mahine se roj apne kamre mein bulati thi dono ko, paise bhi diye aur mazze bhi, tab ja kar susre maane”. She said caressing a banana

“Apne ganne ne mhare bheetar aan de”, Soni was totally wet. Sas kissed her from top to bottom spending more time playing with her fruits. As he put his tongue to explore wet orange slices, Soni moaned with joy yelling “Sas oh oh Faroooor, ghane dekhe par thhare jaisa na dekha”

Raj was losing his charm & also the sympathy he gained after Indu’s death was fading with. If you snatch a man’s power he becomes poorer than a pauper. Raj was powerless and so was Soni & it made her desperate. A desperate woman is as dangerous as a wounded lion.
She had a plan

During initial years in India Soni started spreading wings. She’d never seen so much money, power & men in her life. She wanted to sweep away e’thing as if there’s no tomorrow. She met Qutu, an Italian Mafia working in India & introduced him to Indu & Raj “Yo mhara bhai jaisa se”

Next few years Quru became closer to the family & a mean of wealth creation for Soni. Qutu’s & Soni’s kids were of the same age so became friends. Once Soni told Qutu “Mhara ek tho kaam karwa de, ek Swiss bank mein susra account khukwa de, ijjat ka sawaal se mhara” Qutu agreed

Clown told Raj “Dad, I went to the zoo, I saw there an elephant. It had 4 legs, a big nose & also something very big between its legs, I asked Momma what was that big thing, she said “ye kuch nahin hai’”
Raj sighed & said “Yes son, teri momma ke liye toh woh bhi kuch nahin hai”

Soni is a possessive woman. Once at a party she saw Sas Farur flirting with a woman, she started sobbing & singing “Gairon pe karam apno pe sitam, ai jaan-e-vafaa yo Julm kati na kar”. Sas came to her & said “It’s distortion & misrepresentation”, “Bhag saale”, Soni was angry

Maddy had come to meet Raj. “Daaru piyoge?” Soni asked. Both nodded. Soni came out & poured vodka in 3 glasses & headed to Raj’s room. Glass tray dropped of her hand when she saw both in a compromising position. “Pencho, mhaare pyar me kya kami reh gayi thi” Soni said sobbing

Dig was massaging Soni’s legs. “Maadar jor se dabaa, mehendi lagi hai ke haathan mein, saara din khata rawe hai, kaam bolo toh nani yaad aawe tum naukron ko”. Dig smiled in a sycophant manner. Soni continued “Bhecho tumhare yahan chitiyon ki fauj se, ek tu aur ek woh saala Kanat”

“Rani Sahiba Kanat nahin, Kamat hai wo, par ussne toh Rajmata ke dehant ke baad Raj ka saath diya 10K logon ko maarne mein”, Dig was curious. “Sab dhakosla kare hai, har deal mein haraami Kamat ne cut chahiye, hathiyaar ki deal ho ya undernourished bachon ka khana”, Soni uttered

“Kayi din se koi bada haath na laga”, Soni said. “I know”, Raj replied. “Fund toh ghana hai thhare daure, fauj ke liye kuch hathiyaar aur Tope kyon na leta?” Soni asked. “How’d it work?”, Raj said. “Qutu second hand arms lekar de ga aur tu naya bol kar pel de”, Cunning Soni said

Once Soni took all his men - Maddy, Jaggu, Kamat, Dig, Rajpil, Sas Farur & Nigga intern Raju to Italy for a picnic. As they reached her mansion, Dig peed in pants spotting a sniper. “Rani sahiba, bandook” he said. “BSDK mhaare hi aadmi se, pribate army se yo” she said proudly

“Yo mhari haveli se, intejam kar raakhe manne tumhaare aaram ki khatit, pool, spa, daaru, billiards sab hai yahan”, Soni boasted. She continued “Raat ko sone ki khaatir twin sharing kamre hain, Dig Jaggu ke sang, Maddy Rajpil ke sang aur Kamat Nigga ke saath room share karega”

“Kisi ne koi shaq ya sawaal toh abhi pooch le”, Soni was authoritative. “Rani Sahiba, ye Sas Farur kahan soyega, baahar to bahut machhar hain”, Dig asked. “BSDK Sas mere saath mere kamre mein soyega”, Soni said. Farur bowed & gave a lusty & muscly smile

“Clown padhai mein ghana kamjor se, khel kood bhi na aawe issne, ke karein chhore ka?” Soni said. “Find a home tutor”, Raj said. “Badhiya idea se, Sas Farur sahi rahega, farrate se angreji bole hai, Clown ki padhai bhi ho haavegi aur meri bhi”, Soni had twinkle in her eyes

As told earlier Raj was losing his charm as well has his hair. Soni could never afford to lose what she had accumulated in last few years. By now she had enormous wealth & power but worry of losing it was looming. She was evil & crooked beyond anyone’s imagination. She’d a plan

“Manne south India jaana hai ghooman ke liye”, She told Raj. “Alright, take someone with you, you don’t know much about south India and also I have some enemies there due to the blunder I committed”. Raj warned her. “Thhare dushmano se toh milane ja rahi hai Soni”, Soni murmured

There was a belief down south that Raj helped an island country kiII Indians. This belief was not unfounded & it was true that Raj, just to be popular in the international arena acted against his countrymen, but then it was in his blood, his ancestors too never cared for Indians

Soni travelled to Madras with Maddy. On a private plane she kissed Maddy’s lips hard & said “Maddy, Raj toh chutiya se, manne yo bata, iss south Indian problem ka solution ke howe?” Maddy suggested “Uss Maddarcho ko finish kar do”, Maddy was more concerned about his own career

Soni upon reaching a Madras hotel first quenched her thirst, she made Maddy lick all over her. After multiple orgasms, she told Maddy “Chal be chhore ab kaam pe lag ja”, Mandy followed her instructions without knowing he’d be her next target

“Tu ussne 💣 bamb se uda diyo” as Soni told a Tamilian woman named Nall, Maddy rushed to toilet. “Behenkiloyi marwaayegi”, he thought. As he returned back he whispered “Soni, this is not fair”. Soni was determined “Maadar tu kaam se kaam rakh gaandu”, Soni warned Mandy

Kaam ho jaawega?” Soni asked Nall who herself was hell bent to finish Raj because her husband was killed in attack by the security forces of the island in Indian Ocean. “Soni thhare ne paise mein nahla degi”, Soni said. “Gandu Raj pudli appa vylono Prabhakar ghannapa” Nall said

Soni didn’t understand Tamil & Nall didn’t understand anything but Tamil. Yet both of them understood each other. “Agar tu fail ho gayi to khatm kar dungi tere saare khaandaan ko” Soni warned. “Aiyyo Kottayalappu heinjuz juhpo clown chutium Prabhakar bhagwanam”, She reiterated

Maddy was worried. He advised Soni not to go for this plan but crooked as dog’s hind leg, Soni puffing a cigar threatened Maddy “Maadar agar tein beech mein aaaya toh teri naked photu akhbaar TV mein de dungi saale machhar”, Maddy never imagined Soni wd treat him like a mosquito

“Soni meri soni meri hor nahin koi honi koi, rabb se zyada tera naam leta hun, rabb mujhe maaf kare”, Maddy was singing. “Maadar manne jism ki bhookh se, band kar yo romantic Gaane”, Soni scolded Maddy & soon after Maddy continued washing dishes, cleaning floor & doing laundry

Much later Soni was introduced to a fascinating handsome bearded guy from Gujarat called Nar. An astrologer whom Soni has slept with had predicted that Nar would be the man who’d single handily demolish Soni’s dynasty. But Soni was condescending & arrogant as ever

In south India planning for Raj’s murdar, Soni asked Nal “Manne yoh bata woh bamb waali baniyan kisne pahnaavegi?”, Nal smoking a beedi said “Kanyam Dhan baamb phodumkodamai, LT zindabadapyai, Prabhakar goddam, Clown chutium” Date was finalised & Soni flew back to Delhi

This tweet was left out of the thread, now attaching it

https://twitter.com/ra_bies/status/1119292933293912064?s=21

Indu was an ardent Soccer fan. Though the WC matches were not live telecasted over TV, she was still watching it. “I love soccer”, she said. “Yo bhi koi khel hai kya ek ball ke peechey 22 chhore baawle ho raye se” Soni countered her. “You’re a bicth”, Indu said. Clown clapped

“Bicth, have you ever played any sport” Indu asked. “Ghane khel khele manne saasu ma, abhi bhi khelun hun”, Soni answered. “Tell us more” said Pink, Clown’s sis. “Kal raat bhi kabaddi ka match khela Maddy ke sang, aaj ek Rajasthani pilot ke saath khelungi”, Soni said furiously

Much later when Soni out of desperation called a well respected person ‘mental’, an astrologer whom Soni had intimate relationship years ago predicted “Benkiloyi, toone ek deshbhakt patriot ko mental bola, ek din tere bete ko poora world mental bokega”. He was not wrong either

Soni called a Football coach & said “Mhare chhore ne football khelna sikha de”, coach replied “Alright send him at 6:15 in the morning, other boys come at 6”. Puzzled Soni asked “Sab 6 baje aur ye 6:15 kyon?” “From 6 to 6:15 boys scratch their balls”, coach smiled. Soni laughed

“Football sikhaane ki fees kya laga”, Soni wearing a short skirt sitting on a chaarpayi smoking hookah asked the coach. “I’m not stupid to charge fee from a pretty woman”, Coach tried to flatter. “Raat ne aa jayyiyo thoda khel bhi lenge aur fees bhi le jayoyo”, Soni winked & said

Once Raj’s cousin’s husband, a handsome hunk came to meet Raj. It was summer & he being from the countryside said he’d sleep on the terrace. Next evening during a drinks party Soni sang & danced this. Those were the days!

“You’re a man eater, you didn’t spare any of my friends. You don’t even care about their age caste creed religion”, Raj blasted on Soni. Soni applying nail polish replied “Thaari ma bhi kawe aur tu bhi bole tum secular se, mai bhi sab ko majje dun aur sabse majje lun samjha BSDK”

“What’re you cooking”, Raj asked. “Mere raja mai thhari ma ki naukrani na su”, Soni said, “Vaise aaj sandwich banaawenge, guest bhi aa rahein hain, Soni laughed. “You me & Maddy?” Raj was excited. “Nah re, Maddy, RajPil of Rajasthan & me, tu ja daaru le kar aa”, Soni was wicked

Once there was an Antakshari even between Indu & Soni. No guys, it was not about Bollywood songs but about the men they had slept with. Both named a man one after another.
Night was over but the completion didn’t end until General saab appeared & screamed “Ye kya Ra**khana hai?”

“Who was that turbned man you called for dinner last night”, Raj asked. “Wo Manmosi sei”, Soni replied. “Did you?”, Raj asked. “Abhi na”, Soni was candid. “He doesn’t speak at all”, Raj said. “Ghana padha likha se, mhari kathputli ban ke rawega saala”, Soni replied. Raj ran away

“Sasu ma tu toh ghani kheli khati sey, tanne kabhi threesome bhi kiya”, Soni asked Indu while eating Kurkere, smoking pipe & drinking Vodka”, Indu who generally used to maintain dignity blasted “BKL, I was the Principal of the school that you attended”. Soni left the room

Soni called a publisher to get a new book published. “We’d get your new book published”, a good looking woman journalist said. “Yo sleeveless choli pahne gori si chhori kaun se?”, asked Soni. “I’m Saggy, your servant Raju’s wife”. Soni gave her 101 rupees as Shagun. Soni so kind

“Thhara mard mhare jahan jhhadu pocha kare se”, Soni told Saggy, “Memsaab woh ussi laayak hai”, Saggy said. “Tu toh manne ghani saaf suthri laage se, kabhi aa na haveli pe”, Soni said dropping pallu & showing cleavage’. “Rani sahiba, ab majja aayega”, Saggy was already thirsty

Young Saggy was too happy listening praise for her beauty. She asked “When should I come to Haveli & can l bring Raju too?”, Soni laughed & said “Uss kaalu ne saag safai tak rehnde de, Maddy aawega aur hum sab sandwich khaaweinge”. Saggy imagining this has two & half orgasms

Young Saggy was slowly mingling with Soni. Sometimes they used to bathe together, after all Soni was firm believer in cleanliness. One Saggy told Soni if she could introduce her to Sas Farur. “Jyaada hawa mein kati na udd, naukraani hai naukraani ki tarah reh”, Soni scolded her

“Aaj mujra se haveli mein, tame par aa jaayiyo. Bade bade log aa rahein sei, Maddy, RajPil, Manu, Sam Pit, Dig, KamNat”, Soni informed Saggy. “Bada maza aayega mujra dekhne mein”, Saggy was cheerful. “BKLdi, tanne dekhna na hai, mujra karna sey”, Soni ordered, Saggy blushed

At the mujra party Soni opened the performance with “Salaame Ishq meri jahan zara kabool keejiye”, Maddy leched at her neck & below & sang “Kya te kya ho gaye dekhte dekhte”, Soni was hell annoyed. Saggy danced on Naagin

Saggo as Saggy was commonly known as was drunk. Raju was serving drinks, Maddy used to pay Raju heavy tips. Young Raju asked him “Sir, is there anything I can do for you?” “Do you know my room?”, Maddy asked. “She’d be there in your room soon”, Raju said, Maddy paid him 5K

Feeling unwell, Soni called a doctor “Daaktar, manne ulti jaisa lage, ji kachcha howe”, Doctor examined her & said “Congratulations, you’re 6 week pregnant, I’d inform Mr Raj”, “Ussne ke batawega, woh toh 3 maneene se amreeka gaya hua hai, tun apni fees le aur dafa ho”, Soni said