Still, Sumo needs to go out; he does better with a real walk at night, not just a snuffle around the yard.
Hank does too, he's realized.
So: as the summer progresses,
Sometimes Connor comes with him on these walks, and Hank enjoys that. He spends all day with Connor at work, sure, but just like he finds himself
Connor's current learn-to-chill-the-fuck-out plan
When Hank worries that eventually Connor won't want to spend time on him, he pushes that thought to the back of his mind as quickly as he can. Sometimes he has to chase it away with another beer or two.
Hank has a hard time picturing what the meetings are like. He imagines a dimly-lit church basement, a circle of folding chairs, a group of androids holding hands.
"Ready to head back, boy?" Hank murmurs, and leans down to ruffle
Connor is able to charm just about anyone, it seems.
Sometimes it's too much, and Hank feels like he has to get away from Connor and the way he
Even though Hank would have said, only a week before, that there was
But Hank couldn't think of anything more real, more substantial, than the feeling of Connor in his arms that first morning, and that feeling had led him to pull Connor along to his car, to
It hadn't been easy, adjusting to Connor's constant presence in his life, at home and at work, but even in the worst moments, when he drank too much (because he still did, of course, especially at Christmas when he couldn't leave his house without
(He thinks, occasionally, of Connor helping him into the shower when he isn't drunk and angry.)
Hank's mind slips off and around the idea whenever he tries to put into words how he feels about Connor, and Connor's place in his life. He can't quite hold onto it.
Sometimes Connor just *looks* at him, and Hank feels so much softness in his gaze, and the weight of all of Connor's attention on him, and it's like one of those weighted blankets he used to have; the pressure
He doesn't know if Connor understands what it feels like, when he looks at Hank like that. Has no fucking clue what Connor thinks in those moments. There's no way he can just ask him, of course. He can't ask him any of it.
Connor, of course, kneels
"What a good boy, I missed you too," Connor coos. He smiles at Hank as he catches up, and Hank imagines for a moment that it's meant for him.
"I take it as a compliment," Connor says, while rubbing Sumo's chest. "I'm happy to see him as well."
Hank turns abruptly, fumbling in his pocket for his keys.
"How'd your
Hank knows there's plenty that gets discussed in these meetings that's
(He maybe wants to pry a little, but he knows better than to try. He doesn't want to be rude, he's just curious sometimes, is all.)
But he usually asks, when Connor returns
Tonight, Connor seems a little on edge as he sits next to Hank. His gaze is fixed
"Bad night? It's all right if you don't want to talk about it," he mumbles.
"No, it's not that," Connor says quickly. "It was interesting, but I'm still processing what we discussed.
"Much of the meeting was spent discussing the newest enhancements that have become available. Antonia just underwent the procedure that allows her to ingest beverages, and she was eager to share her experience with us."
"Antonia, is she the one who's into, what was it,
Connor nods, seemingly pleased that Hank remembered. "Yes, she's trying to set up a small ceramics studio to teach classes."
"Does she have a favorite drink so far? Can she even taste anything, or just drink it?"
Connor makes his "how do I explain this concept to a
"The procedure didn't give her a true sense of taste, but she's able to differentiate between different different aspects of taste in other ways. She reported that attributes like
Hank imagines drinking a glass of pure lemon juice and winces. "So the drinking upgrade just gives you synesthesia?"
"It isn't that, although it might be nice to share a beer with you, Hank. There's a new package of genital components and sensory upgrades that allows models such as
Hank's hand slips on his bottle of beer and he nearly drops it in his lap. He opens his mouth to respond, but all that comes out is a strangled, choking noise. Connor presses on.
Hank pictures the same church basement he'd imagined earlier, except this time the circle of androids is taking turns touching someone's
He squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself not to think about Connor tentatively reaching out to wrap his hand around another man's cock. His face is hot, and he's sure Connor's noticed.
"I, uh."
Connor nods.
"And this guy just dropped trou in the middle of the meeting and whipped it out for you?"
"We don't have the same taboos around nudity that most humans seem to. While I understand this might sound strange to you, it was helpful to me."
"Yes, but." Connor frowns. "It feels like a complicated decision. I don't know." He looks at Hank with his soft puppy eyes. "What do you think I should do?"
🍎: Why are you asking me?
🍊: Hell yeah, go for it
🍋: Is there someone you want this for?
🥝: What do YOU want?
Connor looks down at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap.
"Okay." Hank wishes he had another beer, maybe four more beers. "But?" He prompts.
"The thought of initiating and navigating a sexual relationship is stressful, for many reasons. Usually I can predict possible outcomes to my actions, but it's more difficult, in this case, to know what could happen." He sighs. "I also know many
"I guess it's hard to know if you'd enjoy sexual feelings if you don't know what they
"Hank." Connor fixes him with a steady, serious glare.
"Huh?"
"I am more than capable of experiencing sexual desire."
"Oh." The implications of this sink in and Hank feels his
"I know what it feels like," Connor says quietly.
He's still not looking at Hank, but Hank nods anyway, and makes a small sound of acknowledgement. He isn't sure what to say.
"I'm aware that many people consider sex to be an important component
"I think you have to make a decision on what feels right to you, Connor. Don't get a dick to please some person you haven't even met."
"Is that the component you'd
"What?" Hank's starting to think he's hallucinating this entire conversation.
"I'm not limited to just a phallic component, or even one model if that's what I choose; all genital options would be compatible. There are a few different size and cosmetic options for a
"I'm not
Connor's hand is still resting lightly on his arm. What the hell, Hank thinks, and he covers Connor's hand with his own, giving it a little squeeze. Connor looks at him in
"Thank you," Connor says, and if it's for the touch or the advice, Hank isn't certain.
Connor seems content to leave the conversation there for now, which is a bit of a relief; Hank suddenly has
Connor's LED flickers. "There's a Sutton's Bakery on the current vendor list, although reviews report the pecan rolls usually run out in the first hour."
"We'll just have
"It's a--" Connor blinks. "It's agreed, then. Saturday morning."
"Sounds good," Hank says, "but now I really am gonna hit the hay."
Hank does go to bed, although sleep
It's a lot to take in, the knowledge that Connor can, and apparently DOES, feel desire. It's exactly the sort of knowledge Hank's been hoping to avoid, because it's easier, in theory at least, to keep his thoughts on track if he can categorize Connor
That's been the plan, anyway. It's worked all right, if imperfectly, so far.
But.
Fuck.
This is the exact situation Hank has been desperately been trying to keep himself from. It feels wrong to think about Connor like this, but he's honestly amazed he managed to avoid it for so long.
He'd been drifting before, close
"Fuck it," he grumbles to himself; the guilt can be Morning Hank's problem. He kicks off the covers and palms his cock, mostly hard already, through his boxers before shoving the waistband down. He imagines Connor touching him almost clinically,
And christ, if Connor was really here, really
He can't hold back any longer.
Hank holds his breath as he comes so he won't cry out, won't breathe Connor's name.
On the way to work, Hank decides he'll just detach himself a bit from the situation, and by the time the day's well underway he's sure he can stick to it. No mooning
Definitely no thinking about what he looks like naked now, before any changes have been made. Is his groin a blank, featureless curve, like a doll's? Does it have any sensation as it is now?
Or if he trailed kisses up Connor's inner thighs before tenderly licking and kissing that smooth expanse, would he say--
"Hank."
Shit.
Connor's standing
"You haven't
Hank shakes his head and follows Connor back to his desk. "I haven't, I'm sorry," he says, as he sits. "I didn't mean to ignore you, or zone out at the end there, I just." He shrugs, not sure what to say that isn't "I was too busy being curious about
Connor perches on the edge of Hank's desk and nudges his knee with his ankle. "Are you all right? You've been distracted and withdrawn since this morning." He frowns a little. "Is it because of what we
This is exactly the situation Hank wanted to avoid. "Hey, no, it's not that. You didn't upset me at all, okay? I'm glad you felt you could talk to me and that you're looking into new things. That's good. I just..."
"I could take care of Sumo's walk
Hank considers it. He could let Connor take care of Sumo, have another bit of time to himself where he isn't so caught up in how fucking good it
The thing is, though, that trying to ignore his feelings for Connor clearly isn't working. Maybe he's going about this all wrong.
"Nah," he says. "I was going
Connor smiles at him and hops off the desk. "Sure thing, Hank," he says, and circles around to his own terminal.
Hank swears to himself he won't lose focus again today.
Sumo picks up the scent of a rabbit or squirrel or something for half a block and tries to drag Connor along in his pursuit, but he quickly realizes it's not worth running in the heat and returns to his normal slow, snuffling pace before long.
After that, the three of them walk without speaking much, taking each turn based on where Sumo's nose leads him. Hank knows the neighborhood well enough to trust he won't get turned around.
While he does enjoy talking with Connor, Hank deeply
There are times when a silence between people feels like a void he has to yell into or it'll swallow
Another way that having Connor around hurts sometimes, because it feels like something it's not, but still Hank knows it's precious.
When they decide to turn around, Hank gives Sumo another few slurps of water, drinks some himself, then shrugs and upends the bottle over his head, letting the last few splashes cascade down his face and neck. "Sorry," he mumbles,
"Don't apologize," Connor says, and while he sounds tense, and Hank sees a flash of yellow from his temple,
"Thanks for this," Hank says, once they're only a few more blocks from home. At Connor's confused look, he gestures at the humid night around them. "It's good to have you out here with me. I'm
Sumo looks up at the sound of his name and noses at Hank's pocket, then at Connor's, hoping for a treat. "Big baby," Connor says to him, "you have to wait. Good boys get treats at home." Sumo just wags his huge
"I like spending time with you," Connor says quietly, after another silent minute.
"I know it isn't as exciting as all the other things you have going on most nights," Hank replies. He's finally feeling like he
Connor steps forward to
"I don't think about you like that," he says, still quiet. "You aren't less exciting." He reaches out and
"I mean it," Connor murmurs. His thumb strokes Hank's cheek and his fingers curl under to tangle in his beard. "I'm exactly where I want to be."
Hank feels a suggestion in the pressure of Connor's hand and allows his head to be tilted up
Connor just smiles, though, and trails his fingers down Hank's neck as he pulls his hand away. "Let's get you inside and cooled off," he says.
Hank has absolutely no idea how he's
"Gonna take a shower," he calls out to Connor, who's fussing over Sumo while he eats his promised treat.
"Good boy," Connor says, and Hank briefly thinks it's meant for him before he sees Sumo lick his face in response.
He shouldn't be jealous.
He hopes he's more than that, desperately wants to be.
But Connor has also said he likes physical contact, and Hank knows that while he was programmed with certain parameters
Maybe gentle face-touching is just a pat on the back, to him.
Standing under the stream of the shower, no longer ice-cold but still cool enough to make him shiver, Hank presses his hand to his cheek as if he can still feel the ghost of Connor's touch.
Should he:
He sighs. Not only would it be damp and
Connor's on the couch when he walks in, sorting through a half-dozen skeins of yarn in different colors. He flashes a
"I absolutely do," Hank replies, pleased that Connor remembered. He knows it's easy for him to remember small details like that, but it still feels
"Of course it is, Hank," Connor says, seeming pleased.
"What are you working on?"
"A few of us in my knitting group are all going to make the same sweater. I'm trying to decide what color will work best, so I can get started tonight and have
"Kinda hard to think about sweaters in this godawful heat, I'll be honest," Hank says, "but that's a nice color, sure. Uh, what kind of
"I don't have a physical copy of the pattern, but--" Connor holds his hand out, and projected on the little screen thingy Hank always forgets he has is a picture of a man in a cozy-looking cabled cardigan with a thick shawl collar.
Hank feels like he's going to
Connor nods.
"You realize I know absolutely nothing about knitting or fashion or whatever, right? My opinion's not worth much."
"Well then yes, smartass, I like it."
Hank had moved closer to Connor in order to peer at the projected sweater, but once Connor puts the picture away he doesn't bother to move away again. He grips his
Maybe he'd like it, though?
He gulps the rest of his seltzer; that thought seems like his cue to fuck off to bed so he doesn't do anything impulsive. He's been known to do shit he wouldn't
"All right, boss," Hank says, slapping his thighs as he stands up. "I probably should head to bed so I can be less of a mess tomorrow."
He can't help himself.
As he walks behind the couch
For a moment Hank thinks Sumo's chewing a squeaky toy off in a corner somewhere but nope, that's just a squeak of surprise coming
Hank really fucking hopes that was a good squeak, as much as a squeak can be positive, and not an "oh no why did he touch my hair" squeak.
By the time he settles in bed, he really is tired enough that there's no energy
"You said you'd help me," he says.
Hank doesn't know what he means, but he wants to help Connor if he can, so he sits on the floor next to him and waits.
Connor picks up a plum from the bowl on the table in front of him and
Connor bites into the plum, and a stream of juice slips down his neck and along his collarbone.
On his knees, Hank's still tall enough to lick lines
Once Connor's mostly clean, with only a thin sheen of stickiness remaining, he slips his hand into Hank's hair and tightens
He feels a hand on
"Are you mine?" Connor asks. He's been so quiet, this entire time.
"What?"
Connor's grip tightens, both in Hank's hair and on his cock. "Are you mine, Hank?"
"Yes," he rasps.
"I'm yours," Hank pants. "I'm yours." He's so aroused he's struggling to remain still, to keep from rutting against Connor's hand.
"Of course you are."
Hank nods.
"Mine."
"Mine."
and then his voice shifts and warps; the repeating sound resolves not as Connor's voice, dark and possessive and hungry, but as his goddamn alarm.
Details of the dream are slipping out of his grasp as he tries to remember them, blurring and fading
"I'm yours," he says to himself, quietly.
The sheets are tangled around his legs, and as he shifts against them, trying to pull himself free, the fabric
Hank doesn't bother to assemble much of a fantasy; he just wraps his thoughts around the threads of the dream he can remember, the feeling of kneeling in front of Connor in
"Me and Connor both, apparently," Hank mutters to himself, as he leaves the bathroom in search of coffee.
If Connor hears him, he doesn't reply.
Hank catches Connor's eye as he stands from his desk and stretches. "I'm gonna run across the street and grab a sandwich, I think," he says.
"Should I come with you?"
"Okay, Hank," Connor says, and turns back to his terminal with a sweet smile.
Hank has an overwhelming urge to kiss him, which would obviously be a terrible idea for a few reasons, but he allows himself the indulgence of patting his
It's still hot and disgustingly humid outside; when Hank steps outside of the climate-controlled DPD building, he feels like someone's hit him in the face with a wet sock. It's cloudy, at least, so the sun isn't
Hank hears the first rumble of thunder when he's ordering his sandwich, and by the time it's ready, he sees speckles spread over the sidewalk outside as the first fat raindrops fall. "Shit," he mutters to himself. No umbrella.
There's a flash and more thunder, louder this time, when Hank's at the corner waiting for the light
Hank's distracted enough by his embarrassingly domestic fantasies that he nearly collides with Gavin Reed as he rounds the corner into the bullpen.
"Jesus, Anderson, you look like a drowned rat," he sneers. "What
Hank just raises an eyebrow and cocks his head towards the window. "It's raining outside, champ," he says. "You figure it out."
Reed rolls his eyes. "Why not send your plastic pal out to get lunch for you? I'm sure he doesn't care if he gets wet."
"He's my
"Fuck you, old man," Reed spits.
"You couldn't handle me," Hank says mildly, and walks away before Reed can formulate a response.
"You okay, Connor?" he asks, when he continues to stare, LED doing a slow blink in bright yellow. "Everything all right?"
Connor blinks and brings his focus up to Hank's face. "Everything's fine, sorry. You just caught my attention drifting for a moment." He frowns slightly. "Do
"Nah, but I'll be fine." Hank prods at his chest; his shirt really is soaked through. He thinking about the back of his chair pressing his cold, damp shirt into his back and says, "Maybe I'll
"Do you need help?" Connor asks, his voice tight.
"All I'm doing is taking my shirt off and sticking it under an
"I think you're underestimating your appeal, Lieutenant," Connor says, almost as if he's offended.
Connor's LED flashes red for a moment.
"Jesus, it's a joke, don't worry. I won't subject anyone to this." Hank laughs as he heads to the bathroom, but for
Hank tries to push all that out of his mind
He squeezes some out of his hair, too, although there's only so much he can do with it without a towel.
Connor stares as Hank walks away, admiring how his wet shirt clings to his wide back and shoulders. Not quite as enticing as the front view, but still a compelling sight.
He's thankful the rain came when it did, even though he feels a little guilty for being glad
He chooses his favorite of the images he took of Hank moments ago and overlays it in his field of vision. His damp shirt outlines every curve of his torso, and if he zooms in (which he does immediately, of course), he can see the stiff
He has plenty of work to do, an easy source of distraction right in front of him. It's important work, and when he's at work that's what he needs to focus on.
But.
He knows the other officers don't know exactly
Instead of turning his full attention to his job, as he knows he should, Connor spends the entire time until Hank returns on an elaborate
1: Connor has a book club meeting
2: They chill & watch terrible tv together
3: They cook a meal together
4: Questions about potential upgrades, etc are asked
The rest of the workday passes without any fuss, thankfully. His sandwich is delicious, and by the end of the day he thinks he's starting to make some connections between cases that were previously thought to be unrelated, and which might make them
"Friday's when your book club meets, right?" Hank asks Connor, as he's starting to wind things down for the day. "D'you want me to drive you somewhere on my way home?" Connor's happy to take cabs if he's going somewhere on his
"Usually, yes," Connor replies, "but several members had scheduling conflicts tonight, so we decided to cancel." He smiles. "My schedule's wide
"Great," says Hank. He's glad Connor has so many interests, that he's meeting new people and learning about what he likes, and he absolutely doesn't begrudge him that time. He knows it would be shitty of him to resent Connor for actually having a life, or for thinking he
But still, there's a spark of warmth Hank feels when Connor says he's free for the night. Spending time with him might feel complicated, especially lately,
Tonight, Hank declares the house a work-free zone the moment he starts cracking eggs for an omelette. It had
As he pours the beaten eggs into a pan, Hank wishes, not for the first time, that he could cook for Connor. He's glad he'd started cooking again, sure, but it feels so much better to cook for
Hank realizes this is veering dangerously towards "imagining Connor during sex" territory, and tries to course-correct. "Do you ever wish you could eat stuff?" he asks. "Feels weird to eat right in
"It doesn't feel rude to me," Connor says.
"I get it, but my ma really drilled it into me that it's rude to eat in front of someone without offering them anything. Sometimes when you watch me eat I can hear her in the back of my mind
Connor looks thoughtful. "I've considered it, but while I find the idea of eating and drinking interesting, I think I'm more interested in the ways people bond over shared experiences with food and tradition.
Hank feels his face flush at the thought of the other options; it's clear which ones Connor's talking about.
He busies
He clears his throat. "About the procedure you mentioned, y'know, earlier this week."
"The genital attachment and sexual
"You still making up your mind about it?" Hank carries his plate to the sink, plots it in the pan that's already soaking, and grabs a beer from the fridge
"I think I'm coming closer to a decision," Connor
"Okay, that's good," Hank says, and stumbles to correct himself. "I mean. I think it's good either way, just. What I mean is, it's good that you're feeling more certain about it." He's glad to have a drink to distract himself with.
He asks a question that's been at the back of his mind all week. "How safe is this whole business, anyway?"
Connor smiles. "Yes, I've been messaging him this week with questions as they come up. Of course I understand his experience won't
Hank's burning with curiosity at the
"The difficulty," Connor continues, "is that most of my apprehension isn't related to the
Connor's fingers fidget restlessly on his leg, a gesture Hank recognizes; he hands over the bottlecap from his beer and receives a grateful smile as Connor rolls it across his knuckles.
"I wonder, though," he says, "how
Hank feels a brief, irrational rush of anger aimed at the hypothetical person who would turn Connor down. "No way is someone going to reject you," he says. "I guess not everyone's compatible with people they're attracted to,
"If that's the case, maybe you'd be better off without them."
"It would still be a rejection, Hank. It would still hurt." Connor looks startlingly close to tears, now.
"Pretending no one could want to reject me isn't a kindness, Hank," Connor says, heatedly. His LED blinks rapidly between yellow and red, but Hank doesn't need to see it to know he's getting upset. "Don't tell me that. I know it isn't true."
Again.
Connor has the bottlecap clenched in his fist now, and his posture's so tight Hank's worried he'll squeeze it hard enough to cut himself.
"Aw shit," Hank says. "I'm making a mess of this, huh?" He covers
And it's selfish, he knows, because of course all he wants to do when he sees
Connor hesitates, just long enough that Hank lets go, not wanting to pull him
Hank wraps an arm around his shoulder, coaxing him a bit closer, and when Connor starts to curl against him he pats his chest, shifting a bit so he's leaning back against the corner of the couch.
"C'mere."
But Connor just melts against Hank's chest, face pressed into his shoulder, and there's
It's so tempting to nuzzle into Connor's
"I forget sometimes," Hank says, after a quiet minute, "how new so many things still are, to you. I feel like such a fucking mess, a lot of the time, and it's easy to think you have your shit together so much better than I do."
Connor lifts his head to
"But that isn't fair to you," he says.
"It's not,"
"I know, and I'm sorry," Hank says. "It's been a long time since I first tried to think about what I wanted from sex and relationships and stuff, and it's easy to forget how fucked up that whole process makes you
"People expect teenagers to be full of bullshit, though, right?"
"Oh yeah. It's required, I think."
"Hank."
"Hmm?"
"I'm absolutely full of bullshit and it's
Hank chuckles at this and squeezes Connor just a little closer. "God, I know the feeling."
Connor fixes him with a sharp look. "But you don't, Hank. I appreciate your sympathy, I do. But your experience isn't and can't be equivalent to mine."
"You can't say you're full
"I'll allow it."
"Here's my point, and then I'll shut up," Hank says. Connor relaxes a bit and tilts his head up towards him, and Hank has to focus on what he means to say and not on how easy it would be to
"I think anyone would be lucky to have a guy like you interested in them. For sex, or a relationship, or whatever. Whether or not you get any fancy new parts put in. I guess I'm biased because I'm." He scrambles for an end to that sentence that isn't "in love with you."
"Thank you," Connor mumbles into his chest, where he seems to have decided to settle.
He thinks maybe he should get up, or make some excuse to draw away, but he doesn't want to, and he doesn't think Connor wants him to either. It feels like they could both use the comfort, so he stays.
He feels a smooth
Oh.
Connor.
Who's cuddled up against him on the couch.
Hank's eyes snap open as the previous night comes into sharp focus in his memory. Connor's watching him,
"Good morning, Hank," Connor murmurs.
"Hey," he replies, and because this feels slightly unreal, and because Connor had chosen to stay there after all, he dares to brush a loose curl back from Connor's face. Connor closes his eyes and leans into his touch,
"Didn't mean to fall asleep," he says. "You could have woken me up and herded me off to bed."
Connor shrugs. "I was comfortable. You're comfortable." He emphasizes his
And maybe Hank should feel weird about Connor grabbing a handful of his chub, but the thing is: it feels good, and if it makes Connor want to stay curled up against him like this, all warm and sweet, he really can't complain.
Still. He'd rather just enjoy the moment. He tentatively rubs his hand down Connor's back, like he did the night before, but instead of trying to
"What is it?" Connor asks, and he starts to raise his head but Hank gently presses it back down and smooths his hand over his shoulders.
"Nothing, I'm just having a moment," Hank says. "It's still early, isn't it? Guess I didn't get enough sleep." He knows he could
"It's 6:21," Connor answers. "You could go back to sleep, if you wanted. The market doesn't open until 8, and there's no need to arrive right when it opens."
"Sure there is,"
"All right," Connor replies, but he doesn't get up, and Hank doesn't try to shift
Hank thinks: all that can wait, at least for a few minutes longer.
He thinks: I have no idea what's going on.
"Gotta get up for real, now," he says.
He starts up the
Hank's been trying so hard not to fall for Connor, but if he's honest with himself he
If he can't have what he really wants--it seems so silly to think Connor would want the same thing that he doesn't dwell on it too much--he wants to be okay with what he has. It has to be enough. It will.
Don't think about what else you want from him, he thinks. What you want to give him.
"Is this the sort of market you can bring dogs to?" he asks, once he's ready to go. "Should we bring Sumo along?"
He steps out into the living
Connor's clearly dressed for warm weather, even though he doesn't overheat in normal temperatures the way Hank does. He's wearing a t-shirt covered in a lively pineapple print and a
Hank shrugs and tries not to look like he just had a near-religious experience seeing Connor's bare legs. "Makes sense, I guess. Should we, uh, get going?"
This was his idea, after all; Hank figures it shouldn't be surprising that Connor's looking forward to it.
"Silly question, maybe," he says, as they step outside. The rain had stopped sometime overnight, but it had brought
"It's still appealing," Connor says. "Do
"Sure," Hank says. "Bonding over traditions, right? And you like watching me eat."
Connor gives him a little smile at that, although Hank thinks he'd be blushing if he had the ability.
Hank's glad he has driving to focus on, so his mind can't go too far down the road of contemplating all the things he and Connor haven't done together. He shoves thoughts about the pale expanse of Connor's thighs aside, although he's sure he'll revisit them later.
He has a thought.
"You've never been outside the city, have you? I mean really outside of it. Out in the country."
"What if--" Hank feels self-conscious as the suggestion starts to tumble out, but he may as well see it through. "What if some day we drive out somewhere, take a--a hike, or something? Out in the woods? Or whatever you want."
"Let's go in a few months, though. When it cools down a little, and when the leaves start to turn."
Connor rests his hand on Hank's shoulder for a moment, and when Hank glances over, he's giving him a sweet, soft
Hank thinks, not for the first time, how small Connor's world was designed to be. How limited. He deserves to see so much more, experience more, than he has so far. And Hank wants to be there for it, if he can.
The pecan rolls Hank's been looking forward to are
"Tell me about it," Connor says. "What does it taste like?"
"Well, shit, now I have to think about it," Hank grumbles, but he's
"Can I?" Connor asks, his fingers outstretched.
"Uh, sure, knock yourself out."
He dips his forefinger in the sugary spice goo that's started to drip out of the roll and brings it to his mouth. Hank knows he doesn't *need* to watch
"What do you think?"
"The sugar content's quite high."
Hank laughs. "Well yeah, I could have told you that, boss. 's what makes it so good."
Once Hank's finished eating, they head into
"I should have thought about what else I wanted to get, huh?" Hank asks, as they pass by the first booth of produce. "I guess tomatoes are probably in season, I'll grab some of those at least. Maybe make some sandwiches this week." He's peering at a display of
"Hank, do you want to try a plum?"
Hank turns slowly, half-expecting to see Connor in the gauzy robe, but no, he's dressed normally, even if those tiny
Still, he can see a hint of juice on Connor's fingers. He wants to suck them clean.
"Oh, uh. Yeah! Sure," he says, shaking himself out of his reverie and stepping
Connor's fingers stay chastely outside of Hank's mouth as he pops the fruit in; if Hank had leaned forward and taken the plum himself, he could have sucked a finger or two into his mouth along with it, and made sure they were clean before he let them go.
But he can't think about that at the moment, he really can't, because he doesn't want to be a creep with a huge, visible erection striding
Connor's watching him, of course, because he's eating
"It's good," he finally manages to say, in response to Connor's questioning look. "Really good, fuck."
"A little messy, though," Connor says. He lifts his fingers to his mouth and Hank has to turn away the moment he sees a
"Jesus Christ," he mutters. Between this...this plum-based torment and Connor's outfit, he's pretty sure he won't have a moment's peace for the rest of the day.
"Which one was that?" Hank asks the man holding the tray of samples, and he directs him to a
Sometimes Connor touches his forearm to
He picks up some tomatoes for sandwiches, a loaf of dark rye bread, a small, precious container of blackberries. Connor asks the man running a goat-milk soap booth so many questions about the intricacies of soapmaking
"I swear, Connor, you can charm the pants off of anyone in ten
"You say that, but somehow, your pants are still on," Connor replies dryly.
"You know what I mean," Hank grumbles, flustered. He's not entirely sure what
Connor just winks at him, and slings the tote bag over his shoulder. "I suppose I just need to turn up the charm."
Hank doesn't know how to say he's so enthralled by Connor's charm already that there's no
He does indulge himself just a bit and gently rests his hand on Connor's back as they re-enter the stream of shoppers in the market. Just to make sure they get through the crowd together. That's all.
"All right?" Connor asks, quietly.
"Yeah, just. Yeah."
"Anything I can help you gentlemen with?" the booth's attendant calls, from behind a huge bucket of gladiolus stems she's bundling into bouquets.
"Just admiring for now," Connor replies. "Hank, do you have
"When I was younger I tried to be an orchid guy for a minute," Hank says. "Couldn't keep them alive too well, though, they're fussy. These are nice, though," he says, pointing at a spray of dahlias, each petal fading from peach at the tips to a pale yellow
"Seems like a crime to have a handsome young man on your arm and not buy him flowers," the attendant says, and Connor's laugh in response is so sweet to hear that Hank can't help but agree.
It doesn't help that the booth attendant gives him a wink and a knowing smile, like she's in on a secret. Hank wishes he was in on it, too.
Hank thinks maybe this is just his life right now: a string of
Because the thing is,
It's been ages since Hank's been on one, sure, and he knows that as good as he can be at police work, he can be entirely clueless in his own life, but he doesn't know what else to call this feeling, this energy that's brewing between the two of them today.
"Do you want to take a break?" he asks, nudging them off
That sounds good to Hank; he's ready to get off his feet for a little while, and he's
Hank takes some deep breaths as he waits in the short line for his drink. He wants to enjoy this time with Connor without worrying
Maybe he's already failed.
He's probably going to have to say
Hank's mildly surprised to see Connor animatedly talking to someone as he approaches
Connor can see Hank over the
WHO IS THIS PERSON???
🧶: a friend from Connor's knitting group
🍆: Lukas (the android who got a dick attachment & did a show-and-tell presentation)
🥤: Antonia (the android who got the drinking upgrade)
It's nice to see. He knows Connor enjoys that kind of friendly
The thing
"Yes!" Connor chirps, almost manically. Hank can't tell if he's excited or nervous; likely it's a bit of both. "Lukas, this is--"
"Of course I know who this is," Lukas says, as if he's offended
It's at this moment that Hank remembers where he's heard that name before.
"Oh!" he says, and scrambles to continue so it doesn't sound like he just remembered
"We were just going to sit in the shade here for a minute, to take a break from the crowd," Connor says. "Would you like
The three of them settle on a patch of lush grass in the shade. Connor lets his legs stretch out in front of him, crossed delicately at the ankle, and it's such a temptation to stare. The mole Hank had noticed earlier on his
Hank fishes ice cubes out of his lemonade and sucks on them as Lukas and Connor catch up. He doesn't have much to contribute, which suits him fine; sometimes it's nice to just sit back and let
"Speaking of which," Lukas says, after a story
"Yes," Connor says. "I think I have."
Hank perks up just a bit at this, but he doesn't press for more info; he figures if Connor wants to let him know the details, he'll say something later.
Plus, he figures Lukas will do plenty of pressing on his own,
"Well? Are you going to share the details? Maybe a model number, if you've picked one out? Or a size?" He frames a few suggestive shapes and sizes with his hands, his smile getting wider as his hands travel farther apart.
"I do know what you're talking about, you
"Oh, of course he would have discussed this with you!" Lukas says with a giant, shit-eating grin. "What do you think, Hank? I assume you're
"I'm in favor of Connor doing what he wants with his own body," Hank says. It was awkward to discuss this with Connor himself, in the privacy of their own home, but doing so in a public park with a near-stranger is so weird he just rolls with it. "I don't think my
"That's a sweet thing to say, but surely you have your preferences?"
"I mean." Hank suspects he's stumbled into an entirely different conversation, one that he's not prepared for. "I don't see how my preferences should matter."
Hank glances over at Connor, who's been quiet for a minute; he's flashing yellow but
He's also hesitant to give this guy a monologue about what he prefers in a partner and in bed.
"I'm easy to please," Hank says, slowly, and that gets another sweet smile from Connor, although Lukas
"Come on, you have to have something."
"When I'm into someone it doesn't matter what I find when I get in their pants, you know?" Hank shrugs. "Really, I, um. I guess I'm into everything. All, uh. Options."
"Hank."
"Yeah?"
"Are. You. A. Size. Queen."
😳Hank's flustered, deflects/ignores question
🤷♂️Hank: not...particularly?
🤔Hank: yeah, kinda?
"Hank," Connor says, a bit too loudly, "I didn't realize it had gotten to late. Sumo's appointment at the groomer's is at 11, remember?"
Hank does not remember, but he's not stupid, so he nods and tries to look concerned. "Oh shit, yeah, what time is it?"
Lukas' smile wavers, though, as he accepts Connor's hand up; for just a
"It's all right," Connor replies with a smile, although Hank suspects it's not all right, whatever it is. "I'll see you Wednesday?"
"What?"
Connor walks quickly towards the car, not turning back to see if Hank's following; Hank has to hurry to catch up to him. "Hey," he says, when he reaches the car. Connor's staring at the passenger side window.
"Not really."
Hank unlocks the door and is at least glad Connor gets in; he
"No."
Hank takes a deep breath. He's been knocked entirely off-kilter; the easy closeness (affection?) that's been
"Not yet," Connor says. He traces his fingers over the delicate petals of one of the dahlias. "Give me time? I'll tell you later."
"Sure," Hank says, hesitantly. "I hope I didn't say something wrong back there."
"I'm not mad at you."
"Me too, Hank," Connor says. "I just need some time. Let me know when we're home." He closes his eyes, and
"What the fuck happened?" Hank mutters. He rests his forehead on the steering wheel and lets the a/c blast him straight in the face.
He steals
This time, though, he isn't sure just what he's done
That's what Lukas had said to him, right? What else had he said? Buy Connor more flowers?
Connor has the dahlias cradled gently to his chest, so he won't crush
Fuck, he feels like a dirty old man just thinking that when he knows Connor's in distress.
Hank had started the drive trying to give himself time to just sit
Connor blinks rapidly and Hank sees the moment the still mask of stasis drops and his face floods with life again. He pulls his hand back, in case Connor doesn't want to be touched right now (or at least, not by
He sighs. He can't let himself get so caught up in his own thoughts like this, although he knows it's too late to stop it from happening.
"We're, uh. We're back home."