THREAD: One Last Shot, a TROS fix-it fic.
Two years after The Rise of Skywalker, Rey is still in isolation on Tatooine.
One night she comes across a smuggler and occasional bounty hunter named Jacen who strikingly resembles Ben Solo. #fanfic #reylo
Two years after The Rise of Skywalker, Rey is still in isolation on Tatooine.
One night she comes across a smuggler and occasional bounty hunter named Jacen who strikingly resembles Ben Solo. #fanfic #reylo
Rey was haunted by Ben Solo.
Every night she closed her eyes she could feel his strong arms gently grasping her.
She also could see his smile. His beautiful, triumphant smile.
His deep dimples, the twitch of his full lips... the light crinkles around his eyes.
Every night she closed her eyes she could feel his strong arms gently grasping her.
She also could see his smile. His beautiful, triumphant smile.
His deep dimples, the twitch of his full lips... the light crinkles around his eyes.
But every night she dreams, he falls and disappears just the same - and she realizes that she is alone again.
She tried to find belonging with the Resistance, but everyday she felt empty. Almost like there was a gaping wound in her chest.
She tried to find belonging with the Resistance, but everyday she felt empty. Almost like there was a gaping wound in her chest.
So she stayed on Tatooine, just like she had on Jakku. Laying low, scavenging.
Occasionally she helped out strangers and force healed the wounded. Other than that she kept to herself and counted.
730 standard days.
Occasionally she helped out strangers and force healed the wounded. Other than that she kept to herself and counted.
730 standard days.
It had been that long since Ben’s death.
It had been that long since she had felt him.
It had been that long since she was whole.
It had been that long since she had felt him.
It had been that long since she was whole.
Every day she tries to commune with Ben through the force like she does with Leia, and occasionally Luke.
All she hears is silence.
Every day she wants to scream.
All she hears is silence.
Every day she wants to scream.
Leia and Luke assure her that Ben is around, but that they are not allowed to tell her where he is.
They told her this fact almost a year ago.
She almost wants to stop talking to them.
They told her this fact almost a year ago.
She almost wants to stop talking to them.
However, loneliness wins out.
Having Leia and Luke around is as close to Ben as she can be - so she clings to them.
Having Leia and Luke around is as close to Ben as she can be - so she clings to them.
She wants to call on them now, but she hears BB-8’s distressed beeps.
“What’s wrong, little one?”
She hears light footsteps approaching and she immediately reaches for her lightsaber.
“What’s wrong, little one?”
She hears light footsteps approaching and she immediately reaches for her lightsaber.
She ignites it, bathing her room in a soft yellow-orange light.
Whoever it is, she’s ready.
Whoever it is, she’s ready.
The door to her room creaks opens and she immediately goes into battle stance.
She sees a leather boot enter.
She sees a leather boot enter.
‘One, two -’ She counts in her head.
*Thud*
‘Three.’
She lets out a wail, ready to strike at her intruder.
Instead she freezes.
*Thud*
‘Three.’
She lets out a wail, ready to strike at her intruder.
Instead she freezes.
She drops her lightsaber and it audibly disengages.
The intruder stares back at her and she can feel the tears forming in her eyes.
Thick wavy hair, pale skin, full-pouty lips, eyes that have seen her soul…
“Ben.”
The intruder stares back at her and she can feel the tears forming in her eyes.
Thick wavy hair, pale skin, full-pouty lips, eyes that have seen her soul…
“Ben.”
She feels exultant.
After days of saying ‘Be with me’ and picturing his handsome face he’s here.
Hesitantly she moves towards him.
If it’s his force ghost or a dream - she doesn’t care.
He’s *with* her.
After days of saying ‘Be with me’ and picturing his handsome face he’s here.
Hesitantly she moves towards him.
If it’s his force ghost or a dream - she doesn’t care.
He’s *with* her.
She touches his face and he’s solid.
The bond, the force - it must be having mercy on her.
Meanwhile, he doesn’t say a word, he just stares at her with his deep brown eyes.
The bond, the force - it must be having mercy on her.
Meanwhile, he doesn’t say a word, he just stares at her with his deep brown eyes.
“I know Ben, I know.” She chokes out, as tears stream down her face.
She wraps her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest and breathes him in.
She can hear his heart beat.
Her blood runs cold.
She wraps her arms around his torso, burying her face into his chest and breathes him in.
She can hear his heart beat.
Her blood runs cold.
She pulls out of the embrace and looks Ben straight in the eyes.
“You’re alive.” She gasps.
She feels both anxiety and joy fill her body - she’s dizzy with excitement.
“You’re alive.” She gasps.
She feels both anxiety and joy fill her body - she’s dizzy with excitement.
Her vision becomes blurry and she feels herself slipping away.
She nearly hits the ground with a thud.
The last thing she remembers is strong arms encircling her.
She nearly hits the ground with a thud.
The last thing she remembers is strong arms encircling her.
She wakes up to an inquisitive gaze.
“Ben.” She says groggily, while trying to reach for his face.
He takes her hand and puts it by her side, as if he is unfamiliar with her.
“Miss, my name is Jacen.”
She feels like she can’t breathe.
She blacks out again.
“Ben.” She says groggily, while trying to reach for his face.
He takes her hand and puts it by her side, as if he is unfamiliar with her.
“Miss, my name is Jacen.”
She feels like she can’t breathe.
She blacks out again.
After what seems like days, she wakes up. Again, he is at her side, watching her closely.
“Miss, I’m so sorry. I’m not who you think I am.”
His baritone is the same.
He looks *the same*.
The confusion in his eyes doesn’t match the loving gaze Ben has.
He is a stranger.
“Miss, I’m so sorry. I’m not who you think I am.”
His baritone is the same.
He looks *the same*.
The confusion in his eyes doesn’t match the loving gaze Ben has.
He is a stranger.
She feels even madder with grief. This person that calls himself Jacen wears her lover’s face unapologetically.
She doesn’t know what’s crueler.
Ben’s death or seeing a ghost of someone like him.
She doesn’t know what’s crueler.
Ben’s death or seeing a ghost of someone like him.
The force really does hate her. Maybe this is her punishment for not trying harder to save Ben.
This is her penance.
This is her penance.
“Why are you here Jacen…” She manages to get out.
He’s intuitive and hears her silent question. ‘Jacen, who?’
“My name is Jacen. Just Jacen.” He says.
He looks away sheepishly. “I admittedly was here to steal your droid, but I couldn’t do that after you fainted.”
He’s intuitive and hears her silent question. ‘Jacen, who?’
“My name is Jacen. Just Jacen.” He says.
He looks away sheepishly. “I admittedly was here to steal your droid, but I couldn’t do that after you fainted.”
She raises an eyebrow, trying to gain some kind of normalcy to this bizarre situation.
‘He’s not Ben.’ She assures herself.
“And why couldn’t you do that?”
A smirk creeps up his face, reminiscent of an old rogue she once met.
“I’m not complete bantha shit, Miss.”
‘He’s not Ben.’ She assures herself.
“And why couldn’t you do that?”
A smirk creeps up his face, reminiscent of an old rogue she once met.
“I’m not complete bantha shit, Miss.”
She doesn’t wait for him to ask, she just says it. “Rey, my name is Rey.”
“Rey?”
She feels it come naturally to her - she doesn’t want to pretend anymore.
“Rey Solo.”
“Rey?”
She feels it come naturally to her - she doesn’t want to pretend anymore.
“Rey Solo.”
This is his life.
Wake up, eat , smuggle and/or bounty hunt, eat again, then sleep.
That’s what he had done everyday for two years.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Wake up, eat , smuggle and/or bounty hunt, eat again, then sleep.
That’s what he had done everyday for two years.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
It was comforting to have a routine because he didn’t know anything else before his accident.
His mind was blank and empty when he woke up on Takodana.
Luckily he was found by his aunt, Maz Kanata.
His mind was blank and empty when he woke up on Takodana.
Luckily he was found by his aunt, Maz Kanata.
It was hard to trust her at first considering his lack of memories, but she was persistent.
After making a makeshift home in the forest, Maz blew it up with a blaster. She was livid at him and insisted that he come back with her.
After making a makeshift home in the forest, Maz blew it up with a blaster. She was livid at him and insisted that he come back with her.
He hadn’t looked back since.
Maz stayed true to her word and took him under her wing. She gave him a place to stay, food to eat, and companionship.
She was a wonderful aunt and he was grateful.
Maz stayed true to her word and took him under her wing. She gave him a place to stay, food to eat, and companionship.
She was a wonderful aunt and he was grateful.
However, once in a while, he’d get a feeling.
An instinct.
*Something* that told him he was missing someone.
An instinct.
*Something* that told him he was missing someone.
Maz stayed mum about his memories per the med droid’s advice, but he just knew.
Something was off.
Something was off.
*Jacen.*
Even his name didn’t feel quite right.
Even his name didn’t feel quite right.
But still, he persisted with his routine.
Until today.
Today he felt a pull towards something.
Until today.
Today he felt a pull towards something.
The bounty puck for the BB-8 unit confirmed that pull. That droid would help lead to his belonging and hopefully the recovery of his memories.
And he was right.
It led him to her.
And he was right.
It led him to her.
He wasn’t sure what belonging meant, but once he landed on Tatooine, he started to feel at ease for the first time in what felt like forever.
“Rey, that’s a beautiful name.” He says sincerely.
Like before, he sees the flash of sadness through her eyes.
They’re hazel, he notes.
Then the tears fall.
Like before, he sees the flash of sadness through her eyes.
They’re hazel, he notes.
Then the tears fall.
Buckets and buckets of tears.
He just stays there, letting her cry, unsure if he should comfort her.
But then he feels that strange, magnetic pull.
He just stays there, letting her cry, unsure if he should comfort her.
But then he feels that strange, magnetic pull.
So he follows it and hesitantly pats her shoulders.
He feels her tense for a second, but then she quickly relaxes.
Before he can wrap her arms around her, she buries her face into his chest.
He feels her tense for a second, but then she quickly relaxes.
Before he can wrap her arms around her, she buries her face into his chest.
“I’m sorry, you just look like him and I ---” She pauses, as she inelegantly wipes her snot on her sleeve. “I cared about him very much.”
Jacen feels a tightening in his chest.
She loved this person.
Jacen feels a tightening in his chest.
She loved this person.
He doesn’t know if he’s gonna say the right thing, but he has to say it.
It just *feels* right.
“I know we just met, but I want you to know…”
It just *feels* right.
“I know we just met, but I want you to know…”
She lifts her head from his chest to look him in the eyes and his heart nearly stops.
“Yes?” She whispers.
“You’re not alone.”
He expects a smile or something hopeful.
Instead she bursts into tears all over again.
“Yes?” She whispers.
“You’re not alone.”
He expects a smile or something hopeful.
Instead she bursts into tears all over again.
Her tears keep falling and falling and then she feels it.
She feels *him*.
Like before it feel like light tendrils across her skin. Pulsing, teeming with life.
Their bond.
She feels *him*.
Like before it feel like light tendrils across her skin. Pulsing, teeming with life.
Their bond.
But he’s Jacen, *not* Ben.
She wants to accept it, but her body and soul scream otherwise.
There’s absolutely no way that anyone could replicate *that* feeling.
She wants to accept it, but her body and soul scream otherwise.
There’s absolutely no way that anyone could replicate *that* feeling.
She’d just have to do some investigating and prevent him from leaving somehow.
Because she can’t let him go.
Not again.
Because she can’t let him go.
Not again.
“I’m so sorry, I just wanted to comfort you…” He tries to soothe, clearly at a loss for words. “It felt right to say it, so I said it and -”
“It’s okay.” She manages through a choked sob. “I felt comforted, I promise. It’s just that I’ve been grieving him and he said the exact same thing to me once upon a time.”
He hits his forehead with his palm in frustration. “I’m such an idiot.”
Rey feels herself hurt, even though it’s clear that Jacen put little to no pressure in his hit. It still makes her heartache, because she knew that Ben would self-harm frequently at the instruction of Snoke.
Rey feels herself hurt, even though it’s clear that Jacen put little to no pressure in his hit. It still makes her heartache, because she knew that Ben would self-harm frequently at the instruction of Snoke.
“You’re not. I’m just an emotional wreck. It’s kind of what happens when your soulmate dies.” She says as deadpan as she could muster.
He stiffens when she says the word soulmate, but he tries to cover it up by gently moving her out of his arms.
He stiffens when she says the word soulmate, but he tries to cover it up by gently moving her out of his arms.
He sighs and she can’t help but stare at his full lips, which were currently pursed in annoyance.
It was endearing.
It was *Ben*.
It was endearing.
It was *Ben*.
“Can we start over?” She asks.
He hesitates for a moment, a flicker of worry passing through his features.
There’s a poignant beat and she almost thinks he’s gonna reject her.
He hesitates for a moment, a flicker of worry passing through his features.
There’s a poignant beat and she almost thinks he’s gonna reject her.
After all, she’s the psycho that basically told him he resembles her dead soulmate before unceremoniously passing out twice in his arms.
“Yes, Rey of course.”
His eyes flicker to BB-8, who is watching them inquisitively. “I’m sorry for trying to steal your droid. I get bounty pucks and I deliver. I don’t like killing though, so I only take the ones where I bring people back alive…” He rambles.
His eyes flicker to BB-8, who is watching them inquisitively. “I’m sorry for trying to steal your droid. I get bounty pucks and I deliver. I don’t like killing though, so I only take the ones where I bring people back alive…” He rambles.
A flush flickers across his face.
“Please, stop me from talking.”
She looks like a wreck. Her buns are undone, her face swollen from crying too much, and her nose is red from sniffling, but she laughs.
She laughs for the first time in forever.
“Please, stop me from talking.”
She looks like a wreck. Her buns are undone, her face swollen from crying too much, and her nose is red from sniffling, but she laughs.
She laughs for the first time in forever.
He smiles at her and lets out melodious laughter.
The bond sings in delight and the world is bright.
Her soulmate is alive.
The bond sings in delight and the world is bright.
Her soulmate is alive.
He feels relaxed and it startles him.
That feeling and instinct - it’s dancing around him and he swears he can even hear it.
‘This is right. Stay here with *her*.’ The essence repeats to the beat of his heart.
That feeling and instinct - it’s dancing around him and he swears he can even hear it.
‘This is right. Stay here with *her*.’ The essence repeats to the beat of his heart.
He also feels belonging and it is frightening.
With or without his memories, he is certain this hope swelling through his veins is something that he rarely feels.
With or without his memories, he is certain this hope swelling through his veins is something that he rarely feels.
Maz said he was a man with few friends and that his parents were separated from him at a young age.
She admitted that he was lonely, but nonetheless loved dearly.
She admitted that he was lonely, but nonetheless loved dearly.
He feels like there is more to his story, but he doesn’t press Maz.
The med droid continues to insist that his memories should come back naturally because of the extreme trauma he went through.
The med droid continues to insist that his memories should come back naturally because of the extreme trauma he went through.
Sometimes he thinks his memories will never come back. It’s a bleak thought, but sometimes he thinks it’s okay.
The few shadows of memories that he experiences are dark.
He doesn’t want to be that person anymore.
The few shadows of memories that he experiences are dark.
He doesn’t want to be that person anymore.
He wants to make amends but he’s not sure why. He just feels that unmistakable pull.
‘Be with me.’ He hears its whisper every night and he can’t deny it anymore.
‘Be with me.’ He hears its whisper every night and he can’t deny it anymore.
Though part of him - the part that is deeply afraid of his past, wants to go back to comfort.
Routine is easy.
Routine means he doesn’t hurt himself.
Routine is easy.
Routine means he doesn’t hurt himself.
However, his bravery outweighs his fear. He doesn’t want to be haunted anymore.
He wants to feel as whole as he does now.
He wants to feel as whole as he does now.
“Do you have a place to stay, Jacen?” Rey asks, breaking him out of his thoughts.
He looks at her and takes notice of her features for the first time.
She’s beautiful, tragically so, but she looks devoid of life. Her cheekbones too sharp, her figure too slim.
He looks at her and takes notice of her features for the first time.
She’s beautiful, tragically so, but she looks devoid of life. Her cheekbones too sharp, her figure too slim.
“Jacen?”
“Sorry, Rey. No, I don’t have a place to stay.”
“Be with me?” She asks.
His jaw drops as the words leave her mouth.
She was the voice.
“Sorry, Rey. No, I don’t have a place to stay.”
“Be with me?” She asks.
His jaw drops as the words leave her mouth.
She was the voice.
Even in the dark, she can see the telltale signs of a faint blush.
“I...ugh...whatever you want?” He sputters, clearly taken aback by her declaration.
She wants to die of embarrassment.
“I...ugh...whatever you want?” He sputters, clearly taken aback by her declaration.
She wants to die of embarrassment.
“I mean - stay with me in the hut. Not *that*.” She corrects. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but I just met you and -“
“It’s okay, Rey. I understand.” He says with a little twinkle passing through his eyes.
“It’s okay, Rey. I understand.” He says with a little twinkle passing through his eyes.
He winks at her, that smug bastard.
“And here I thought you were a Jedi.”
She drops her jaw in mock outrage. “You cheeky smuggler!”
“And here I thought you were a Jedi.”
She drops her jaw in mock outrage. “You cheeky smuggler!”
He bursts into a grin, his deep set dimples peaking through.
She aches to trace them with her fingers. The urge is so strong that she clenches her hand into a fist.
She aches to trace them with her fingers. The urge is so strong that she clenches her hand into a fist.
“Too far?”
She shrugs. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, that’s all I’m saying.”
His eyes light up. “Are you feeding me?”
She shrugs. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, that’s all I’m saying.”
His eyes light up. “Are you feeding me?”
She feels emboldened and steps forward. She waits for him to recoil at her invasion of space, but he gives her permission by stepping towards her.
Carefully, she puts her palm on his face.
She’s about to trace his dimple when his expression changes into a pained one.
Carefully, she puts her palm on his face.
She’s about to trace his dimple when his expression changes into a pained one.
“Jacen, are you alright?”
He puts his hand on his forehead and grabs her shoulder to steady himself.
He puts his hand on his forehead and grabs her shoulder to steady himself.
She places her hand over his heart and she hears it beating wildly.
Rey bites her lip in concentration and curls her force signature over his.
Rey bites her lip in concentration and curls her force signature over his.
His pained expression eases and his heartbeat steadies.
Minutes pass with just them breathing deeply.
Minutes pass with just them breathing deeply.
“I’m sorry. Sometimes I see shadows of my memories, but this one was more solid than in the past.”
Rey’s ears perk up.
‘Does he remember to her?’
Rey’s ears perk up.
‘Does he remember to her?’
“What do you mean?”
He looks down, as if he feels shame. It’s clear that he is hesitant to open up.
“It’s okay, you’re safe here.” She soothes.
He looks down, as if he feels shame. It’s clear that he is hesitant to open up.
“It’s okay, you’re safe here.” She soothes.
“I don’t know who I am.” He says sadly.
Rey aches again to reach out to him, but she has to quell the urge.
She is a stranger to him and she keeps forgetting.
Rey aches again to reach out to him, but she has to quell the urge.
She is a stranger to him and she keeps forgetting.
“All I know is that I’m thirty standard years and my name is Jacen. I lost my family and I’m alone.” His eyes are downcast, like he wants to sink like quicksand.
“But every night I hear her call me. When you touched me just then, I had a vision, a memory...I think.”
“But every night I hear her call me. When you touched me just then, I had a vision, a memory...I think.”
“I was bathed in blue and someone was touching my face, like you were just then.” He pauses before continuing. “I need to find her.”
Her breath hitches and she allows herself to bask in a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.
Her breath hitches and she allows herself to bask in a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time: hope.
He looks Rey in the eyes and he wonders if it’s her. He feels this invisible thread between them, but it seems almost too much of a coincidence.
*Too* convenient.
Crazy even.
*Too* convenient.
Crazy even.
Although he’s hesitant to claim that it is her, he knows he wants to stay.
“I’ll help you.” She says softly.
As the words escape her mouth, Ben feels the same dull headache start to bloom.
“I’ll help you.” She says softly.
As the words escape her mouth, Ben feels the same dull headache start to bloom.
Rey puts her hand on his forehead and he instantly relaxes. Something, *someone*, is pulling on that thread and it’s helping.
“How do you do that?” He asks.
“The force.”
“How do you do that?” He asks.
“The force.”
“So you are a Jedi?” He asks.
“I thought I could be...but I feel more comfortable being called a force user.”
She doesn’t have to say anything, but he feels as if there’s something larger behind her insistence on that label.
“I thought I could be...but I feel more comfortable being called a force user.”
She doesn’t have to say anything, but he feels as if there’s something larger behind her insistence on that label.
“I also technically don’t have a family name, but Solo feels right.” She pauses, and he sees that she chews her lip in nervousness.
He feels his heartache.
He feels his heartache.
“You don’t have to explain.” He insists.
She lets out a deep breath. “I want to honor him.”
“You are.”
She lets out a deep breath. “I want to honor him.”
“You are.”
Rey looks up at him like she wants to say something, but she just nods.
She has a soulmate and a selfish part of him doesn’t want to hear more about *him*.
‘He’s dead though…’ The more treacherous part of him thinks.
Before he can dwell on it, he speaks. “Let’s go to bed.”
She has a soulmate and a selfish part of him doesn’t want to hear more about *him*.
‘He’s dead though…’ The more treacherous part of him thinks.
Before he can dwell on it, he speaks. “Let’s go to bed.”
Rey raises an eyebrow as a smirk dances across her lips. “Now who’s being forward?”
He swears he can feel the tips of his ears turn raging pink.
“That’s not what I meant - I”
He swears he can feel the tips of his ears turn raging pink.
“That’s not what I meant - I”
Her fingers find her way to his lips and he can feel the heat start to bloom in his chest all over again.
“I know.”
As the words escape her mouth, he feels something deep in his bones.
How can her soulmate be dead, when he's right here?
“I know.”
As the words escape her mouth, he feels something deep in his bones.
How can her soulmate be dead, when he's right here?
Rey hasn’t slept a wink. Jacen was going to leave tomorrow and she has to make him stay.
She *needs* him to stay.
She *needs* him to stay.
BB-8 frantically starts to beep, scolding her to sleep.
“I’m sorry, BB.”
She looks outside her window and could see the telltale signs of daylight.
She has to think of something soon.
“I’m sorry, BB.”
She looks outside her window and could see the telltale signs of daylight.
She has to think of something soon.
Glancing at her drawer, she feels something click in her mind.
It was unconventional, but it could bide her some time.
‘Grandfather would be proud.’ She thinks distastefully.
It was unconventional, but it could bide her some time.
‘Grandfather would be proud.’ She thinks distastefully.
She opens her dresser, looking at the vast collection of pucks she has stolen from people up to no good.
She finds the puck she’s looking for and she feels her stomach lurch.
She finds the puck she’s looking for and she feels her stomach lurch.
Her hand hovers around the on button, before she presses it.
The image of famed war hero, Lando Calrissian comes up.
‘Forgive me.’
The image of famed war hero, Lando Calrissian comes up.
‘Forgive me.’
She doesn’t know when she manages to sleep, but she clearly does for at least a few hours.
The puck is still clenched in her fist.
The puck is still clenched in her fist.
She hears a timid knock on her door.
“Rey, are you up?”
The distinct baritone sends a wave of comfort down her spine.
“Yes! I’ll be out in a bit. Please make yourself comfortable.”
“Rey, are you up?”
The distinct baritone sends a wave of comfort down her spine.
“Yes! I’ll be out in a bit. Please make yourself comfortable.”
She puts down the puck and quickly heads to the fresher and bathes for the first time in days. Maybe weeks.
Part of her doesn’t want to be honest with just how bad she let herself go.
Part of her doesn’t want to be honest with just how bad she let herself go.
She wrinkles her nose as the layers of grime wash away.
‘Had she really allowed herself to be that dirty in front of Jacen the other day?’
‘Had she really allowed herself to be that dirty in front of Jacen the other day?’
In a hurry, she dresses and allows herself to wear her hair like she did on Ahch-To. Half up and half down.
It didn’t feel right to wear her hair like that since she abandon- *no*, left Ben in Snoke’s throne room.
It didn’t feel right to wear her hair like that since she abandon- *no*, left Ben in Snoke’s throne room.
BB-8 beeps with approval.
She fixes her hairstyle one last time and grabs the puck and her saber.
She’s ready to do whatever it takes to keep Ben by her side.
She fixes her hairstyle one last time and grabs the puck and her saber.
She’s ready to do whatever it takes to keep Ben by her side.
Ben’s not sure if he’s overstepping, but he takes the liberty of making a late breakfast.
He quarters jogan fruit and makes instant portion bread. It’s a humble breakfast, but he hopes she’ll appreciate it.
He quarters jogan fruit and makes instant portion bread. It’s a humble breakfast, but he hopes she’ll appreciate it.
He also thinks about yesterday and his heart instantly beats with excitement.
The thread - that missing link. *She* is tied to it and that alone is a miracle.
The thread - that missing link. *She* is tied to it and that alone is a miracle.
But he also thinks about how gaunt and sallow Rey is - so he settles on giving her the much larger portion of the bread.
He divides the bread and smiles at the healthy portion he leaves her.
He divides the bread and smiles at the healthy portion he leaves her.
Much to his annoyance, he also thinks about her soulmate.
What was so great about him anyway? How long were they in love?
Was he tall? Was he handsome? Was he gentle towards her?
What was so great about him anyway? How long were they in love?
Was he tall? Was he handsome? Was he gentle towards her?
These bleak thoughts spew out, but then he remembers how broken up she was after he said he wasn’t him.
She was utterly devastated.
He barely knows her, but he wants to find that bastard’s corpse and resurrect him so that Rey can be happy.
She was utterly devastated.
He barely knows her, but he wants to find that bastard’s corpse and resurrect him so that Rey can be happy.
“Oh, you made me food!”
He turns and sees her bright smile and he wants to kick himself for thinking too hard. -for being *jealous*.
Rey was practically a grieving widow. The best thing he can do is be there for her.
‘As a friend.’ He reminds himself.
He turns and sees her bright smile and he wants to kick himself for thinking too hard. -for being *jealous*.
Rey was practically a grieving widow. The best thing he can do is be there for her.
‘As a friend.’ He reminds himself.
Taking a seat at the meager table, Rey reaches for the plate with the smaller part of the loaf, but he stops her just in time.
Before she can say anything, he hands her the plate with the larger piece of bread.
“I like a lighter breakfast.” He explains.
Before she can say anything, he hands her the plate with the larger piece of bread.
“I like a lighter breakfast.” He explains.
She grins at him, beautifully straight teeth and all, and he decides this may be the best decision he has ever made in his life.
Well, at least from what he can remember.
Well, at least from what he can remember.
They dig into breakfast and he notices that she wolfs it down in an obscene fashion. Juice runs down her lips and bits of bread stick to her lips.
He can’t help but be charmed.
He can’t help but be charmed.
“So, where are you off to next?”
He swallows his second piece of fruit and takes a swig of water. He wants to find an excuse to stay with her, but he has nothing.
“I’m not sure, I was thinking about going back to Takodana.”
Her eyes perk up in recognition. “Takodana?”
He swallows his second piece of fruit and takes a swig of water. He wants to find an excuse to stay with her, but he has nothing.
“I’m not sure, I was thinking about going back to Takodana.”
Her eyes perk up in recognition. “Takodana?”
“Yeah, my Aunt Maz lives there. The people who frequent her castle will surely have more pucks.”
She wipes her hand on her tunic - gray he notes, and she slams her hands on the table. “You know Maz?”
She wipes her hand on her tunic - gray he notes, and she slams her hands on the table. “You know Maz?”
He’s taken aback by the noise, but he feels like he may have hit the jackpot.
“Yes, she’s my Aunt.”
She sees her face contort, like she’s trying to control her reaction. At first it looks like she’s angry, the next like she’s going to cry.
“Yes, she’s my Aunt.”
She sees her face contort, like she’s trying to control her reaction. At first it looks like she’s angry, the next like she’s going to cry.
Eventually her expression becomes neutral.
“Coincidentally I need to go to Takodana as well.”
She wipes her hands on her tunic before whipping out a puck that projects an image of an older gentleman with a cape.
“Coincidentally I need to go to Takodana as well.”
She wipes her hands on her tunic before whipping out a puck that projects an image of an older gentleman with a cape.
“I know Maz as well...I heard rumors that Lando was last seen on Takodana.”
He lets himself feel elation. This was his big break. Not only would he travel with Rey, but he would also have the chance to further his reputation as a respected bounty hunter.
He lets himself feel elation. This was his big break. Not only would he travel with Rey, but he would also have the chance to further his reputation as a respected bounty hunter.
“Lando Calrissian? War hero Lando? People have a bounty on him?”
“Yes and I plan on finding him.” She says in a matter of fact fashion.
“Can we split the earnings?” He asks.
She sees her expression change and he wants to back track.
“Yes and I plan on finding him.” She says in a matter of fact fashion.
“Can we split the earnings?” He asks.
She sees her expression change and he wants to back track.
“Yes, absolutely.” She says immediately.
She offers her gloved hand to shake and he takes it without hesitation, hand smooth against the worn leather.
She offers her gloved hand to shake and he takes it without hesitation, hand smooth against the worn leather.
His hand in hers feels just right - like it always does.
She longs to feel his skin touch hers but she’s been wearing gloves for a while.
When she didn’t wear them, she felt too exposed. Naked.
*Vulnerable*.
She longs to feel his skin touch hers but she’s been wearing gloves for a while.
When she didn’t wear them, she felt too exposed. Naked.
*Vulnerable*.
Part of her still feels exposed so she fidgets with her gloves. He lets go of her hand and the loss of warmth is jarring.
“Miss Jedi, what’s the plan?”
She stops fidgeting and observes Jacen’s curious face.
“Miss Jedi, what’s the plan?”
She stops fidgeting and observes Jacen’s curious face.
Was she too obvious? Too transparent? Did her actions make her look desperate?
She feels the urge to take back her verbal vomit, but she knew she had to focus.
She feels the urge to take back her verbal vomit, but she knew she had to focus.
“First of all, just Rey is fine. Solo is acceptable.” She says, a little more bitingly than she intended.
“I think sweetheart suits you just fine.” He retorts.
“I think sweetheart suits you just fine.” He retorts.
She feels her eyes bug out of her head and she doesn’t know what to say.
The endearment coils around her and she instantly feels warm; the tips of his ears turn bright pink.
“I’m sorry, that was too much.” He explains apologetically.
The endearment coils around her and she instantly feels warm; the tips of his ears turn bright pink.
“I’m sorry, that was too much.” He explains apologetically.
“Rey is fine. If you’re on your best behavior, sweetheart is fine too.” She teases.
She finds the confidence to brush the tips of his ears with her hand. “Now, come on, J.”
She finds the confidence to brush the tips of his ears with her hand. “Now, come on, J.”
“J?”
She quirks an eyebrow and puts her hands on her hips like she is scolding him.
“And why can’t I give you a nickname?”
She quirks an eyebrow and puts her hands on her hips like she is scolding him.
“And why can’t I give you a nickname?”
There’s a pause before he breaks into a toothy smile.
“No issues at all, sweetheart.”
He walks past her and his arms ever so slightly graze hers.
She gets goosebumps; her heart is beating fast.
“No issues at all, sweetheart.”
He walks past her and his arms ever so slightly graze hers.
She gets goosebumps; her heart is beating fast.
On the Millennium Falcon
Jacen is completely in awe as he steps onto Rey’s ship.
It feels homey, lived in.
Jacen is completely in awe as he steps onto Rey’s ship.
It feels homey, lived in.
He also gets this sense of deja vu.
Had he been here before? If so...with *who*?
Had he been here before? If so...with *who*?
It's like he's in some sort of time warp.
He hears laughter echoing off the walls; he sees smiles exchanged; he feels hope, adventure, and wonder.
He feels *love*.
He hears laughter echoing off the walls; he sees smiles exchanged; he feels hope, adventure, and wonder.
He feels *love*.
It’s so jarring, that his headache comes back in full force.
He hears loud voices reverberating inside his head.
He sees visions of a man and woman hugging a young boy who looks eerily like him.
He hears loud voices reverberating inside his head.
He sees visions of a man and woman hugging a young boy who looks eerily like him.
The last thing he sees and hears is a man who looks like the war hero, Han Solo.
“I know.” He says.
“I know.” He says.
“Jacen.” A voice calls to him.
“JACEN!” A voice calls louder.
“JACEN!” A voice calls louder.
Suddenly everything is cut off.
The images and sounds fade away and all he is left with is ringing in his ears.
The images and sounds fade away and all he is left with is ringing in his ears.
Slowly, the ringing stops and he hears the whisper inside his mind. “Be with me.”
He opens his eyes and there’s Rey, looking at him with intense worry.
He opens his eyes and there’s Rey, looking at him with intense worry.
“What happened?” She asks.
He shakes his head - it’s *too* soon to lay so much of this baggage on her.
“Nothing, I’m okay.”
He shakes his head - it’s *too* soon to lay so much of this baggage on her.
“Nothing, I’m okay.”
She looks at him, clearly not believing what he says but she nods anyway.
“Would you like to pilot?”
“Would you like to pilot?”
He raises an eyebrow - surprised at her even asking.
This was *her* ship. *Not* his.
Though if he was being completely honest, he felt a connection to the ship. Almost like he was born to pilot it.
This was *her* ship. *Not* his.
Though if he was being completely honest, he felt a connection to the ship. Almost like he was born to pilot it.
“I couldn’t...” He starts to say, his voice trailing off.
Her eyes entreat him. “Yes, you can.”
She gestures to the pilot seat and he brushes his hand on the top of the seat.
Her eyes entreat him. “Yes, you can.”
She gestures to the pilot seat and he brushes his hand on the top of the seat.
“What’s the name of your ship?” He asks as he observes the controls.
He knows logically he needs to study them, but somehow he knows what to do. This fact startles him, but he chooses to ignore it.
He *must have* worked on a similar ship.
He knows logically he needs to study them, but somehow he knows what to do. This fact startles him, but he chooses to ignore it.
He *must have* worked on a similar ship.
“The Millennium Falcon.” She answers.
“*The* falcon?” He asks, clearly incredulous.
“*The* falcon?” He asks, clearly incredulous.
Jacen’s jaw drops as he plops down in the pilots seat, admiring the controls with a new gaze.
“Yes, *the Falcon* that did the Kessel run in---”
“Less than 12 parsecs.” He finishes.
“Yes, *the Falcon* that did the Kessel run in---”
“Less than 12 parsecs.” He finishes.
“You remember?” She asks him, her eyes hopeful.
“Isn’t that what legend says?”
Rey looks away for a second, clearly contemplating what she needs to say. It confuses him, but he tries to understand her.
‘Maybe she was feeling sad about Ben again?’ He thinks.
“Isn’t that what legend says?”
Rey looks away for a second, clearly contemplating what she needs to say. It confuses him, but he tries to understand her.
‘Maybe she was feeling sad about Ben again?’ He thinks.
“Let’s get going, shall we?” She redirects as she sits down in the co-pilot seat.
He gives her a thumbs up and flicks the dice on the dashboard.
“Alright, Rey - let's punch it."
He gives her a thumbs up and flicks the dice on the dashboard.
“Alright, Rey - let's punch it."
Takodana, Outside of Maz’s Castle:
She’s ready.
At least she’s telling herself that she’s ready.
Truth be told she doesn’t know exactly what she is going to say to Maz.
She’s ready.
At least she’s telling herself that she’s ready.
Truth be told she doesn’t know exactly what she is going to say to Maz.
Was she going to cry? Shout? Scream? All three?
All three *sounds* good.
All three feels like it would be cathartic.
All three *sounds* good.
All three feels like it would be cathartic.
“Hey, are you ready, Solo?”
She gets a hold of herself and BB-8 scolds her in worry - high pitched beeps and all.
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
She gets a hold of herself and BB-8 scolds her in worry - high pitched beeps and all.
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
They enter the castle and she sees Maz’s familiar face leaning by the bar.
“Jacen, my dearest nephew.” She says warmly.
Maz’s voice trails off, as she notices her presence.
“Jacen, my dearest nephew.” She says warmly.
Maz’s voice trails off, as she notices her presence.
“Hi, Auntie Maz.” Jacen replies back warmly.
He bends down and lets the older woman scruff up his hair.
Rey can’t help but smile at the sight.
He bends down and lets the older woman scruff up his hair.
Rey can’t help but smile at the sight.
“Ah, Rey of Jakku or shall I say Rey Pal-”
She instantly flinches. “Don’t you dare utter his name, Maz!”
Her yell echoes throughout the bar and Maz’s patrons look on in curiosity.
She instantly flinches. “Don’t you dare utter his name, Maz!”
Her yell echoes throughout the bar and Maz’s patrons look on in curiosity.
“I see you’re angry with me.”
“Yes, I wonder why?” She grits through her teeth.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on?” Jacen intervenes.
“Yes, I wonder why?” She grits through her teeth.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s going on?” Jacen intervenes.
“Mind the droid, dear nephew.” Maz says.
She looks at Rey behind her giant goggles and gives her a small smile. “Rey and I need to speak in private.”
Rey can sense Jacen’s panic so she curls her force signature around him to calm him.
“We’re okay, Jacen. We won’t be long.”
She looks at Rey behind her giant goggles and gives her a small smile. “Rey and I need to speak in private.”
Rey can sense Jacen’s panic so she curls her force signature around him to calm him.
“We’re okay, Jacen. We won’t be long.”
Maz’s Office:
The door shuts and she feels it.
The darkness.
It swells in her as she pulls out her lightsaber.
Maz tuts. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
The door shuts and she feels it.
The darkness.
It swells in her as she pulls out her lightsaber.
Maz tuts. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
She powers up the saber and points at her. “Why did you keep him from me?” She accuses. “Answer me.”
The older woman looks at her with pity. “I-I watched him die.” She chokes out.
The older woman looks at her with pity. “I-I watched him die.” She chokes out.
She senses Jacen’s apprehension from afar and she feels horrified. The bond is still active and she let herself succumb to the darkness.
Tears start to pour out and she turns off the saber.
She’s ashamed.
Tears start to pour out and she turns off the saber.
She’s ashamed.
She hunches down and sobs.
“My dear child, I am so sorry - but I needed to protect him.”
She looks up, skeptical, but listening.
“The world needed to believe that Kylo Ren was dead.”
“My dear child, I am so sorry - but I needed to protect him.”
She looks up, skeptical, but listening.
“The world needed to believe that Kylo Ren was dead.”
The look Maz gives her is solemn.
“It really is him then? I’m not dreaming?”
“No, you are not.”
“It really is him then? I’m not dreaming?”
“No, you are not.”
Maz bends down and pats her on the shoulder.
“You have to let him be though. His memories must not be forced out.”
“I’m not leaving him.” She hisses.
“You have to let him be though. His memories must not be forced out.”
“I’m not leaving him.” She hisses.
“I know you don’t, but know this - do not deceive him. It’ll destroy, Jacen.”
Rey recoils at her statement. “I’ll do whatever I damn well please, Maz.”
Rey recoils at her statement. “I’ll do whatever I damn well please, Maz.”
She abruptly gets up. “And what of *your* deceit? Calling him by a false name and making him a smuggler?”
“He needed routine, Rey.”
“No, Maz. He needed me.” She says, before storming out the door.
She *will* bring back Ben Solo.
“He needed routine, Rey.”
“No, Maz. He needed me.” She says, before storming out the door.
She *will* bring back Ben Solo.
• • •
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