Thread by @ft_shipper

“Long Shot” - Boss AU with Soulmate Twist @reylo_prompts

Dedicated to: @hiraeth_writes and @HerSisKeeper

#reylo #reylofic #fanfic

https://twitter.com/reylo_prompts/status/1161014254339809282

Panic button 🚨

💏

Finn to the rescue

Oh, Ben

😒

Spanking 👀

A twist!

HR warning

Kylo Ren

👀

Stormflower

Amilyn is understanding

Emo hour

😭

Finn is that blunt af friend that you need in your life

Stormflower is tag teaming

Ben tries

Rey knows

45 minutes later

Headed to the hospital

Poe is 🏃

At the hospital:

Rey abruptly bolted up from her bed. Her palms were sweaty and she could feel her heart racing.

“Where am I?”

“You fainted Miss Kenobi.”

She took in her surroundings and seized up - white walls, blue curtains, and a woman in scrubs - she was in a hospital!

“Are you okay to answer a few questions?”

Rey breathed in deeply and nodded.

“What do you remember last?”

“Yelling at my boss after my boyfriend went to the bathroom.”

“Was that stressful?”

She thought back to the moment. Once Poe left she was unrelenting towards Ben.

She called him a liar and an asshole and he didn’t yell back. He sat there and took it, while also having the nerve to tell her he understood her.

“It sounds like you were emotionally distressed?”

“Yes, I was.”

“The cause of you fainting must be from stress then.”

“We’ll monitor you overnight and keep you on fluids. I’ll have the doctor come by in a bit.”

“Sounds good.”

The nurse gave her a small smile.

“Should I send in your boyfriend? He looks worried sick.”

Rey beamed. “Send him in, please.”

“Lucky woman. He’s a real gentlemen - handsome too!” The older woman gushed.

“Yes, I’m very lucky.”

“I’ll go get him now.” She replied with a wink.

“What are you doing here?” Rey screeched.

Ben put his hands up in surrender and slowly eased himself to the seat next to her bed.

“I come in peace. Poe had to help out Aunt Shara but he was here.”

Her eyes softened thinking about Poe’s mom.

“Is she alright?”

“She’s fine - just a fever. Poe is worried because she’s by herself that’s all.”

Rey sighed in relief.

A silence filled the room. Rey wanted to yell at him but all she could feel was pity now that her mind was clear.

He thought she was dead this whole time and felt alone. Or as Poe described to her, ‘he was mad with grief.’

“Everything you said was right. I’ve been insufferable.” He said, breaking the silence.

Her widened in surprise. Ben looked remorseful. His eyes were pleading and she felt herself soften.

Though insufferable- whenever Ben looked this way her heart hurt indescribably bad. Like her soul was being torn apart if she didn’t make it better.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad. I have high standards in general but after some trauma a few years ago I get edgy easily.”

Gah typos! *eyes widened

“I don’t know if Poe told you but my soulmate is dead. I also lost my father when I found out so it kinda did a number on me.”

Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“But it’s no excuse. I’ll be better. Poe loves you and I love Poe like a brother.”

“Yeah, he told me. I’m sorry about your soulmate, Ben.”

“It’s been 4 years, I’ve accepted it.”

A tear slipped down Rey’s face and Ben instinctually wiped it away.

“I don’t like seeing you in pain, Kenobi.” He said quietly.

Rey felt the jolt of recognition. They had never touched each other before but the feel of his skin against hers made her feel awake.

She looked into his eyes and she saw the same recognition. He dropped his hand from her face and reached for her hand.

“You’re not alone.” Rey assured before closing the distance.

She felt his hand tremble beneath hers but he felt warm and utterly right. Her slim hands fit in his perfectly- like they were made for each other.

“Neither are you.” He whispered.

Her eyes flitted to his lips and she felt the pull. A pull that had always been there if she was being honest.

She wanted to give in - all she had to do was lean forward and capture his lips.

Before Rey could act on impulse, Ben backed away and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“I’ll call Poe and give him an update.” He assured.

She nodded and tried to ignore her labored breathing and the way Ben’s shoulders tensed up.

He had to know that his soul called to hers.

In the morning:

“Hey, babe.”

Rey looked into her loving boyfriend’s warm eyes and felt guilty. Instead of feeling warmth, she felt disappointment.

She expected to find Ben beside her. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep with their fingers intertwined.

“Shit, it’s Friday! I have to get to work.”

He gently grabbed her shoulder and pushed her back into the hospital bed.

“Slow down, tiger. Kylo cleared you. You have the day off.”

She sighed and sank further into the bed. “But I want to work!”

“Since when?”

He ruffled her hair and kissed her on the forehead.

“Let’s get you home. I’ll get the doctor.”

She watched his retreating form and felt the knot in her stomach tighten. She felt guilty but wasn’t quite sure if she was ready to let him go.

Poe is conflicted

At Rey’s apt. later that night:

“It’s nearly midnight, Poe! What are you doing here?”

A cloud of sadness cast over his features and she could see the discomfort radiating throughout his body language.

“We need to talk, Rey.”

“Did you miss me? We just saw each other!”

She winced at the stupidity of her joke. She knew Poe meant business because his eyebrows were knitted and his left fist was clenched.

He sighed.

“Can we sit down?” He asked gently.

She nodded and they sat at her tiny coffee table. It was the one that Poe bought for her.

Vintage. Antique.

A little bit broken too if she was being honest. No matter how many times she fixed one of the legs it was always loose.

He folded his hands on the table and she could tell that he was gearing up for something big.

“What is it you want to tell me, Poe?”

Was he gonna propose? Ask her to move in? Guarantee that they were *it*?

Rey pleaded silently for either because *everyone* always leaves.

“I have a soulmate, Rey.”

Rey’s breath hitched and she could feel herself panic.

How did he find out? Should she fess up? Does he know about Ben?

Oh, god.

“Her name is Amilyn Holdo. I’ve known her for a long time.” He starts.

Rey felt herself becoming numb. Just like the moment before she fainted.

‘Deep breaths.’ She reminded herself silently.

“And what about her, Poe?”

The lump was rising in her throat and she could feel the bile forming. Her eyes were already brimming with unshed tears.

“I can’t be with you anymore, Rey. It’s not fair to either if you.”

Like a waterfall, the tears tumbled down fast across her cheek.

“But you promised! *You* said regardless of the results that we would be together. Me and you.” She said in a flurry of sadness and anger.

Poe looked at her and his eyes were sparkling with tears as well.

“You’re right. I did promise and I’m breaking that promise.”

“My friend, Hux...he slipped me my results to help spare my pain. I didn’t know what to do with them...I should have told you the minute I found out but...”

Rey let out a sob. “But, what?”

“I wanted to s-stay with you...” He stuttered out through his tears.

“Why can’t you stay?” She cried.

“Because now that I know, I can’t stop. Her soul always called to me.”

Rey frantically wiped away her tears and reached for Poe’s hands across the table.

“Poe, please. I don’t want to be alone anymore...”

He put his hands over hers and shook his head.

“You have a soulmate. Armitage didn’t tell me who, but he told me you had one.”

Rey could feel it bubbling within her. The self-preservation inside of her that said and did ugly things. She thought she could control it.

“Liar.”

“I’ve been stressed lately because I got *my* results early. Do you want to know who *my* soulmate is?”

He didn’t answer her - unwilling to stop her tirade.

And she? She couldn’t tame the monster inside of her.

“I *don’t* have one. He’s dead.”

She saw the blood drain from Poe’s eyes and instantly felt the guilt coursing through her veins.

But it was too late.

“I’m so sorry, Rey.”

She hung her head in shame.

“Yeah, me too.”

She got up from the table and opened the door, heart heavy.

“Goodbye, Poe.”

Ben is concerned

Sunday, 12am at Ben’s Apt. :

Ben’s stomach had been in knots all weekend. He was always like this when Rey was emotionally or physically hurt.

It was hard to explain - but it had been like that the minute that she came into his life.

No matter what he always felt compelled to be near her. It was *very* inappropriate as her boss to feel the way he felt.

The only solution that he could think of is to feign cold indifference. It seemed easier - but after seeing her faint he couldn’t stand it.

His heart hurt.

He was lost in his thoughts until he heard very loud banging on his apartment door. Immediately he jolted up and got the baseball bat he kept in his closet.

He tiptoed towards the door and tapped it.

“Who’s there?”

He heard a thud and what sounded like a head slam.

“It’s me.” A slurred voice mumbled.

He sighed with recognition and put the bat down and opened the door.

Across the door way was Rey sitting down on the floor. She looked bleary eyed and tired.

Her hair was in its usual hair style but it was a mess. Her buns were half tucked and the bottom half was slightly undone.

Ben instantly feel his insides turn to goo. He wanted to scoop her up and comfort her.

Hug her.

Hold her.

*Kiss* her.

He approached her and crouched down to her eye level. With care he tucked the stray strands behind her ears.

“What do you need, sweetheart. “

She let out a choked sob and wrapped her arms around Ben.

He instantly froze.

This was a bridge they hadn’t crossed before.

Whenever he was the slightest bit affectionate towards her it was always subtle - like remembering her coffee order and filling their section of the office with the fruit roll up snacks she adores.

*This* was something else.

“Stay with me, please.” Rey sputtered out between hiccups.

He sighed and deepened his embrace.

Ben couldn’t deny her - not when she was completely distraught and sad.

He couldn’t stand to see her hurt anymore.

“I got you, sweetheart.” He whispered softly against her temple.

In one fell swoop he lifted her into his arms and crossed the threshold into his apartment.

Sunday, 10am - Ben’s Apt:

Rey’s head was pounding and she couldn’t quite remember what happened the night before.

She looked at her surroundings and things started to register. High thread count sheets, minimalistic but tasteful furniture - she was NOT home.

What she also noticed was that she was carefully tucked in.

Like she was cared for.

Like she was loved.

She breathed in and could smell fresh coffee and waffles being made. She also could smell the faint hint of cinnamon and earthiness...something that was *distinctly* Ben.

Her head was pounding but she forced herself to get up, following the lovely and hopeful smell of food.

The scent lead her to a matching minimalistic and modern kitchen. The pan was sizzling and manning the cooking was a very casually dressed Ben.

She had never seen him like this before. He had on gray sweatpants that hung low and was wearing a fitted white t-shirt that was slightly too small.

Her mouth started to water for different reasons.

She thought about interrupting him, but couldn’t help but observe him.

He looked so carefree. He was bopping along to the jazz playing lightly in the background and humming beautifully in tune.

It was like he was a different person.

“I can feel your stare, Kenobi.”

Rey blushed at his words and shyly took a seat at his counter.

“I hope the omelette and waffles are all for me, Solo.” She teased.

On cue the toaster popped open, revealing perfectly toasted bread.

She squinted and noticed it was the fancy kind - like focaccia or artisanal sour dough.

Her stomach grumbled and he chuckled. He put the toast on a plate and slid it over to her.

“This should tide you over.”

Minutes later, Ben filled the counter with a beautiful spread: smashed avocado, a veggie omelette oozing with cheese, and her personal favorite - waffles.

Her eyes gleamed with delight as she zeroed in on the waffles. They were filled with chocolate and peanut butter chips.

Her heart melted just a little bit as the realization dawned on her.

“How did you know?”

Ben sat down across from her and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Chocolate and peanut butter chip waffles...they’re my favorite.”

A slight flush appeared on his face as he served himself half the omelette and shrugged.

“Just a hunch, I guess.”

Like a practiced routine, he poured himself plain black coffee and prepped Rey’s mug with four sugars and a dash of cinnamon before giving it a stir.

Her eyes started to water.

He reached over the counter to wipe her burgeoning tear, just like he did in the hospital.

“Are the waffles that bad?” He joked.

She gave him a watery smile and took a bite of her waffle.

She didn’t want to talk. If she did - she knew the word vomit would come out.

He’d know the truth and he’d hate her.

Instead she shoveled the the food down - thankful that Ben wasn’t pressing her for conversation.

As she bit into the third to last bite of her waffle, Ben cleared his throat.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

“As good post break up as to be expected.”

Ben looked down and played with the omelette on his plate...like he was nervous.

“I meant about not having a soulmate.”

Rey swallowed and met his gaze. She wanted to tell him.

She *really* did.

But what if Poe came back? How could she abandon the first person to stick by her aside from Finn?

“I’ve come to terms with it.”

Ben nodded, taking in her words.

“You were pretty distraught about it last night.”

He paused and made sure to catch her gaze.

“I’m here for you. Consider me a friend. If you need to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

Rey gave her best assuring smile.

“And to think it only took us 2 years and a breakup to become friends.”

He chuckled. “I told you that I’m just a hardass, Kenobi.”

“Can I tattoo that on your forehead?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Should I take away your day off then?”

Rey gasped and swatted his hand.

“Take it back, boss man.”

He doubled over with laughter, delighted by the mock outrage on Rey’s face.

“I’ll see you on Tuesday - you can even wear that ratty skirt.”

3 months later:

It wasn’t all talk. Ben made good on his promise - he was her friend. In fact, she found herself doing everything with him. Drinks after work, binging Netflix shows, and even that one time Ben convinced her that hiking was fun.

She was healing.

She was happy.

All the while, Finn and Rose were deeply concerned.

Every time they brought up telling Ben the truth to Rey, she dodged it - claiming that they had a good thing.

She didn’t want to ruin something so beautiful when she was still repairing herself.

Ben had also started to be more open to relationships. He even occasionally hung out with Finn and Rose without her there.

He also confided in her that he was starting to see his mother again. They had weekly dinners and he would come to her house and cook for her.

Sunday brunch was Rey and Ben’s sacred time. He’d make her favorite waffles and agree to go to the run down arcade across the street.

It was pure bliss.

Sometimes she’d even stay over after the arcade and watch nonsense on the couch, while playing with Ben’s luscious hair.

She hardly missed Poe - she felt the sting of abandonment once in a while but that was it.

Being away from him gave her clarity. She loved him but she wasn’t *in love* with him. She was just attached to him, almost unhealthily so.

But he was *not* her soulmate.

Ben’s birthday

✉️ An Invitation

At Gwen’s:

“If you keep staring at the door, you’ll combust.” Rose teased.

Out of nervous habit, Rey chewed on her lip in worry. She wanted everything to be *perfect* for Ben. He deserved the world.

The tiny brunette squeezed her hand.

“Don’t be nervous. Everything looks beautiful. He’s gonna love it.”

She was mostly worried.

What if her feelings were wrong? What if she *still* felt something for Poe?

Ripping the band-aid off, Poe waltzed in with a tall blonde woman with kind eyes. She observed that they were in sync with each other, almost flowing like a seamless unit.

Were her and Ben like that?

Rose whispered conspiratorially in her ear. “You and Ben are cuter.”

She snorted and let out an embarrassing laugh.

“We *are* the cutest.”

As she came down from her laugh and observed Poe and Amilyn at the bar she realized something.

She felt nothing.

*Nothing* at all.

Finn always had a sense when Rey was thinking deeply. Exchanging a look with Rose he joined them by the food table and started casually tapping his foot.

“So are you gonna Hulk out on him?”

She shoved his shoulder out of habit.

“Get your head out of your ass!”

Rey grabbed the punch she poured herself earlier and coyly took a sip.

“I’m taken.” She said casually.

Finn’s jaw dropped and Rose gasped.

“Wait, does he know he’s taken?” Finn teased.

Rey playfully shoved him again.

Prep for surprise

Rey headed to the center of the room and tapped her glass to get everyone’s attention.

She looked around and smiled at the sight. She had assembled everyone but Ben did an amazing amount of reconnecting with old friends over the past few months.

“Everyone! Ben will be here in ten minutes. I’m gonna turn off the lights so be ready to yell surprise. Phasma is on deck with Ben’s cake.”

The crowd cheered and Rey beamed.

Ben was gonna be so happy.

Everyone found their places around the room in anticipation of Ben’s arrival.

On cue, she heard the tell tale pattern of Ben’s heavy footsteps.

“Mom, it’s dark as hell. Maybe they’re closed.”

“Phasma’s a millennial, maybe this is some gimmicky bull shit.”

His sigh was audible as he opened the door to the event room.

“Let’s just go home, I don’t want to get arrested for breaking and entering.”

Leia smacked her son’s arm. “Shut up, Benjamin.”

The lights came on and before Ben could complain again, Rey emerged with a beautiful lit cake in her hands.

It was funfetti with fresh strawberry buttercream. The cake that he said was a secret favorite between him and his father.

“Surprise!”

Ben’s eyes lit up as bright as his birthday cake as everyone started singing.

It was exactly the reaction she was going for. He *deserved* this.

He deserved the whole world.

She presented the cake to him proudly and his eyes met hers.

The world seemed to stop.

She could make out the honey is his eyes under the glow of the candles.

Gosh, he looked handsome.

She ached to brush her hand upon his hair, right by the tips of his ears that he was so embarrassed by.

“Happy birthday, Ben.” She whispered softly.

He smiled at her. The crooked, beautiful, perfect smile that she swore was only reserved for her.

Rey’s eyes moved to his dimples, but before she could get more distracted Ben spoke.

“What should I wish for, Kenobi?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Ben.”

“Okay.” He said almost inaudibly.

Leaning forward he blew out the candles - his eyes never left hers.

Applause filled the room and Rey could feel herself start to flush. The weight of his stare was starting to make her sweat.

“I—I’m gonna slice up some cake.”

She tried to scurry away quickly but he gently grabbed her elbow.

“Thank you.”

She could feel her mouth start to dry.

“So strawberry buttercream - how’d you know?”

His honey eyes darkened and she wanted to burst into flames.

“I pay attention sometimes, you know?”

He rubbed his thumb gently across her skin.

“I know.”

Before they could continue, his friends started to swarm him with hugs.

She took this as a moment to sneak out to slice.

She was nearly there when she caught Amilyn’s eyes.

“Rey, can we talk?”

“Yes, of course. Do you want to join me in slicing cake?

Amilyn nodded and the two disappeared in the kitchen.

Unbeknownst to Rey, Ben was watching her the whole time with worried eyes.

Rey immediately got to work, while Amilyn assisted.

It was weirdly not awkward at all, much to Rey’s relief. They hit a steady rhythm and Amilyn was telling her little stories about Ben as a teenager as she plopped each mouthwatering slice onto a plate.

“I love these stories, Amilyn but is there something you wanted to tell me?”

The blonde’s crystalline eyes softened, as she fixed a slouchy strawberry on a slice.

“I really am sorry. You seem okay now, but I never wanted to cause anyone pain.”

Rey dropped her cake knife, and reached over to pat Amilyn’s hand.

“Really. Don’t apologize. It was the best for both of us.”

The blonde let out a tiny sob and put her free hand in front of her mouth. “Thank you for saying that.”

Rey reassured her with a small smile.

“Cake is ready!” Rey hollered at the crowd.

The ravenous guests headed towards the food table, where Amilyn was serving up slices with additional whipped cream. She gave her a thumbs up and Rey gave her one back.

They were all gonna be okay.

Instead of going towards the cake, Ben made a beeline for Rey. He had the most panicked look in his eyes.

Immediately his hands went to her arms.

“Is everything alright?”

Rey shushed him and steadied her hands on his forearms.

“Yes, love it is. Now enjoy the party!”

A blush creeped up his cheek at the usage of the pet name.

It had started to become a habit about two weeks ago and Rey stopped feeling shy about it.

“Okay, sweetheart.”

She smiled at him softly and shoed him away towards his guests.

“Go mingle! You see me everyday.”

The night went perfectly. Ben was laughing, joking, and smiling all night.

And her?

She was joyous. It was like she was on cloud nine.

*This* is what it felt like to see your soulmate happy.

The night was winding down and she was leaning against the food table, content with watching Ben laugh at one of Finn’s jokes.

“Being in love suits you.”

She stiffened at the sound of Poe’s voice.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You love him.” He said simply.

Rey rolled her eyes. “Just because I like Amilyn, doesn’t mean you can give me advice.”

An amused expression flooded his face.

“Okay, Reyna. Whatever you say. I was just stating a *fact*.”

Rey couldn’t help herself, she started laughing.

“Shut up.”

It always felt easy being with Poe. It’s why she thought she was in love with him and why they were together for so long.

It took her a while to come to the conclusion, but she realized easy was boring.

There was never passion or heat in their interactions. It was simply comfy - like a sweater you liked to wear once in a while.

Perhaps for a season.

Or even a few years.

But *not* forever.

“Thanks for planning this. He’s really happy.”

Poe paused as he noticed Ben glare at Leia in mock annoyance.

“*Really* happy.”

Twenty minutes later folks were saying their goodbyes and shuffling out the door.

The only people left were Leia, Ben, Finn and Rose. The latter were helping her clean up.

“Finn, wanna help me in the kitchen?” Rey asked.

“Sure thing, captain!” Finn said as he joined her.

He quickly shut the door and went straight for a high five.

“Rachel Niima you really outdid yourself!” He yelled as their hands collided.

Rey grinned, ready to fist pump with Finn, when she heard a glass shatter.

Finn and her both turned around and saw Ben’s figure at the door.

He had a champagne bottle in one hand and at his feet were two shattered glasses.

“Hey birthday boy, let me clean that up.” Finn said immediately.

Ben didn’t say a word; he was frozen in shock.

Finn started to approach Ben but he stopped him by raising his hand.

“What did you call her?” He asked scarily slow.

“Rachel Niima. Old habits.” Finn said nervously, not realizing his mistake.

Without a word said, Ben hurled the champagne bottle, causing Rey to flinch.

The bottle instantly shattered and he stormed out the door.

“Ben, wait!” Rey shouted as she ran after him, not caring if she cut her feet on glass.

When she reached the hallway, Ben was nearly at the exit.

“Please, stop!”

She saw his form waiver, and she took it as a chance to catch up to him.

Her hands went instantly into his, but he wasn’t reciprocating.

“How long?” He said slowly.

Rey’s breath hitched. She was tongue tied.

She didn’t know what to say.

“I SAID, HOW LONG REY?”

He let go of her hands and caged her against the wall.

“Answer me, right now.” He asked, his voice now desperately soft.

“Please.”

“I-I don’t know exactly.” She stuttered out. “Maybe four months, give or take.”

He hung his head in shame and Rey wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

“You didn’t want me.” He said as he lifted his head.

“And this...” He gestured to the event space. “Was pity.”

“Or am I a consolation prize?”

He backed away from her, turning away and running his fingers through his hair like he was always did when he was anxious.

He laughed bitterly. “Am I so unbearable?”

She knew he was furious at her but she wanted to comfort him.

Despite her better judgement she wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face into his backside.

“I was a coward.” She choked out.

He took her arms and gently but firmly pushed her away.

Ben turned around, being sure to look her directly in the eyes.

“You’re a monster...” He said, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“And I *never* want to see you again.”

He turned away and ran out the door, leaving Rey sobbing by the exit.

He was right.

She was a monster.

1 month later:

Rey had tried desperately to talk to Ben right after that fateful night but he laid down clear boundaries.

When she arrived to work that Monday she was respectfully told that she was transferred. She no longer worked in the same building as Ben.

When she showed up at his apartment building, the doorman, Mr. Fett, who she had gotten to know over the past few months, told Rey that she was persona non-grata.

So she contacted Poe - who was kinder to her than she deserved.
After all, the lie she told originated with him.

He simply told her that he couldn’t betray his best friend’s trust and that he wished her the best despite everything.

She began to get desperate. She dropped by everywhere Ben went to her knowledge.

The track that he ran every Saturday morning, the arcade by his apartment, the farner’s market - even up and down that hike he had convinced her to do.

He didn’t want to see her and she couldn’t blame him. So she reflected and worked on herself.

She started to go to therapy and began writing letters as an outlet. She sent one every week telling Ben about her week.

She knew all about waiting.

And she would wait forever.

2 months later:

Ben was trying to heal too.

Abandonment.

Feeling alone this world.

These were things that he had shared with Rey. His darkest, innermost thoughts.

So when he had found out about her betrayal he lost it. His other half, his soulmate - she was there all along and she didn’t care to tell him.

He felt like an after thought, an option B...

He felt like he was nobody.

Part of him understood her. Rey had intense loyalty. She could see why she would hold on to a promise she made to Poe. He could also see her actions as self preservation.

Though, it was hard to forgive her.

But then the letters started to arrive.

When he got the first one, his first instinct was to tear it up. After all, that’s what Rey had done when she got her soulmate results.

She tossed them away like garbage.

Like *he* was garbage.

But he brought the letter to therapy and Cassian convinced him to at least keep it.

And like clockwork they kept coming week after week.

They were written in her distinguished half cursive/half print and sealed with Disney princess stickers.

He remembered when she got those stickers. She used to put them on sticky notes during work when he was being particularly grumpy.

They made him smile.

Occasionally, he even laughed.

But he still couldn’t bring himself to read them.

He wasn’t worthy of companionship. Her actions had proven that. In some ways it was easier thinking he had a dead mate, than an alive one who didn’t want him.

He was unloveable and he had to accept that.

3 months later:

He brings the stack of letters to his therapy appointment. It was his promise to Cassian - 90 days post “the incident” is what they had agreed on.

He was nervous as hell even though Cassian said that he didn’t *have to* read them.

They talk through his normal issues: guilt about his father’s death, not being there enough for his mother, his anger issues, etc.

He wanted to avoid talking about *her*.

But Cassian knew him better. 30 minutes into his session he picks up the letter at the top of the stack.

“Are you ready to open one?”

Ben grimaced, unwilling to commit to a yes or no.

“How about I open one?”

Not waiting for Ben’s response, Cassian moved to open the letter.

On reflex, Ben dove over the table between them and snatched it.

Cassian laughed and gestured for the lumbering man to get back to his seat.

Looking sheepish, Ben sat down, clutching the letter like a life line.

“It didn’t feel right for you to even open it.” He muttered.

“Would you like to read them?”

Ben looked down at the letter in his hands, still a bit conflicted.

“Can I just read one?”

Cassian nodded in approval. “How about we read one here, then you can choose to read as many as you want between now and our next session?”

“Okay.”

Dear Ben,

I broke your heart. With my righteous anger coupled with my abandonment issues I chose to perpetuate a lie.

It may be hard to believe right now but I also broke my heart.

You see - my past trauma has historically messed with my decision making.

I was abandoned at age 5 on the streets of Niima. I only knew Rey as my name. My eventual guardian named me Rachel.

He was emotionally manipulative. He would withhold food and sometimes be gone for weeks. Even though he was terrible - he perpetuated my fear of being alone.

I learned self-preservation quickly and to not let people get close.

When I let people in and I feel abandoned I become a different person.

I get manipulative. I get mean.

Feel free to ask Finn about how I almost ended our over decade long friendship. It wasn’t pretty.

I snapped when Poe decided to leave. He knew my fears and broke a promise.

I wanted him to pay and didn’t think to correct the situation.

I operate on deficits. I thought it was too late.

It was also around that time where I couldn’t reconcile you as my soulmate. I had this image of you but it had changed so rapidly.

I was conflicted.

But then I got to know you and everything started to make sense.

You brought clarity, light...love.

And I also realized I was always pulled to your gravity even from the very beginning.

Whether I was mad at you or annoyed I wanted to be around you.

You were my anchor.

I remember stupid things about you. What your footsteps sound like depending on your mood, the way you knit your eyebrows when you are mad or inquisitive, and even what you wear.

Navy blue for partner meetings and black for board meetings.

Jeans if you were feeling friendly.

You took care of me in your own way before we became friends.

Fruit roll ups in our snack section. Approving all of my vacation requests without question. The time you cussed out Snoke for being mean to me even though he was a huge potential client and so much more.

There’s so much I want to say but most of all, I want to say that I miss you and I’m sorry.

Contact me whenever you are ready.

I’ll be waiting, no matter how long it takes.

-Rey

A tear slipped down Ben’s cheek and soon it became a deluge. He hadn’t cried since Han’s death and finding out about his dead mate.

Even when Rey admitted his abandonment his response was to be numb. It *seemed* easier that way.

If he cried it meant it was real.

He expected crying to feel terrible, but it felt like a deep sigh of relief.

Maybe...*just maybe* he wasn’t abandoned.

Maybe they were two halves of a whole just waiting to heal.

“Do you want to read the others?” Cassian asked, once his crying had slowed down.

Ben let out a nervous laugh before inelegantly blowing his nose.

“Yes, yes I do.”

Dr. Andor gave him an encouraging smile. “Well, let’s begin.”

Appreciate everyone. I may not update until tomorrow but stay tuned 👍🏽

4 months later:

The letters continued to come. Thursday was letter day and It became the highlight of his week.

Rey’s first few letters were about being profusely sorry, but slowly they transitioned into talking about her life.

She talked about her new boss and how his choice in snacks was terrible. She talked about going on a few easy hikes by herself. She even talked about becoming friends with Amilyn.

She always ended every letter the same - telling her that she would be waiting.

He missed her terribly and wanted to go to her.

But he wasn’t quite ready - so instead, he wrote her a letter back.

It was Wednesday when she noticed a beautiful envelope amidst her junk mail.

Immediately she recognized the beautiful, calligraphy like handwriting.

It was Ben.

Dear Rey,

I’m sorry it took me this long to write back.

I’m healing but I’m still hurting. I think in order for us to move forward, you have to know everything.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I thought I didn’t have a soulmate for four years. I had accepted it and had moved on in my own way.

But god it was messy at first.

I lost my father and when all records showed up as you not existing I fell into a heavy depression.

I quit my job and was an empty shell for a year. Lots of drinking and traveling to remote places where I could be depressed in solitude.

Poe was actually the one that got me out of it. He begged me to go to therapy and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

It took another year for me to function again. That’s when you and I met and started at Resistance Holdings.

I felt an unexplainable pull to you, but I ignored it. I could feel it as deep in my bones then as I do now.

I thought to myself - “the feeling you have is phantom longing” and “this isn’t real.”

Not to mention the pull was so strong that it should have been an HR violation.

So I shut you out and was as strict as possible with you.

I acknowledge that I was beyond borderline mean and I’m sorry for that.

I want to let the past die but I’m so insecure.

Will I be enough for you this time?
Am I worthy? Is it because I’m the only option you have left?

You broke my heart and I don’t know how to put it back together.

I’m afraid. I don’t think I can deal with losing you all over again.

I want to try though. I will always try for you.

I’ll be waiting on Sunday at our usual spot.

Yours,
Ben

Sunday, Ackbar’s Arcade:

It was 11am. An hour earlier than Ben would come with Rey on Sunday’s.

He came early because he needed to let out some nervous energy. So he played pinball and also caught up with Mr. Ackbar who had scolded him for not being around for months.

11:45

He could feel the sweat on his palms begin to gather.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

*Maybe* he wasn’t ready.

As if reading his mind, Ackbar patted Ben on the shoulder.

“Your girl loves you. It’ll all be okay.”

12pm

His eyes are glued to the door and he feels paralyzed with fear.

What was he gonna say?

What if she *doesn’t* come?

12:30

Ben wiped some sweat from his brow as he sipped his glass of cola.

He could feel a knot form in his stomach.

“Kid. Give it a few more minutes.”

He gave Mr. Akbar a nod and he got up to play another round of pinball.

He could wait.

12:55

He could feel the tears forming in his eyes as he glanced at the clock.

Mr. Ackbar looked at him with sad eyes, letting his expression speak for him.

He was a fool.

Being abandoned again was always in the cards.

Where is Rey?

Ben’s Apartment, 2pm

There is furious knocking on the door.

And yelling.

*Unrelenting* yelling.

“Do not hurt, Ben!”

“Me? Hurt your 6’2 giant best friend? That’s rich.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Get out of my way, I need to see him.”

The bickering continued for another 5 minutes before they were interrupted with a slam of the front door opening.

“Poe, that’s enough. We can talk.”

His best friend looked at him with concern. Ben looked like a trainwreck. Red eyes, disheveled hair, and sickly skin.

“But you called me distraught like the last time you —.”

Ben put his hand up to interrupt him.

“That’s enough, I can take it from here.”

Ben made sure to look Poe straight in the eyes.

“I’m okay, I promise.”

Poe looked somewhat skeptical, but nodded in agreement. “Call me if you need me.”

Trusting his friend, he made his way past the person needing an audience.

They waited until the sound of the front door of the complex closing echoed all the way to the top of the stairs.

Time stood still for a moment as the reality dawned upon them both.

They were finally in each other’s gravity. The way it was meant to be.

“Hi, sweetheart.”

They sat at his kitchen counter like those many months ago, except it didn’t feel easy.

It felt tense.

Neither of them were sure what to say to each other.

“How’s your chai?” He asked her, trying to fill the silence.

She cleared her throat, stirring methodically at her tea. “P-perfect as always.” She stuttered out.

She winced inwardly at her awkwardness.

“So, I went to not one but three of our Sunday spots.” She blurted out.

Ripping off the band-aid - that’s what Dr. Erso said she was afraid of.

But she had to be brave - they both had waited long enough.

Ben put the teapot down and caught her gaze. “You did?”

She breathed in deeply to calm her nerves.

“Yeah, I eventually made my way to the arcade but I spent some time at each in case...I didn’t want to miss you in case I was wrong.”

He chuckled at himself in self-deprecation.

“Wow, I’m a moron. I completely freaked out.”

Rey frowned. “No, I don’t blame you. I would have too.”

“I’ve been going to therapy for a long time - I-I should have called you to clarify but I just assumed.”

He got up from the kitchen counter and started to pace. “I’m clearly not ready...we need more time, we need -“

“I need you.” Rey interrupted, breaking his rant.

Not knowing how to react, he turned away to grip the kitchen island.

He needed to steady himself.

“And I meant what I said, I’ll wait for you. I’ll take your lead - the mature plan, whatever...”

He turned, not expecting her to be in his orbit.

“It would only make sense. We take more time, see if this is what we really want and then move forward.”

“Yeah, more time.” Rey said as she moved closer to him, their eyes in an intense staring match.

He leaned towards her, crouching slightly to overcome their height difference.

“More time...that’s the mature plan? So, I guess this is goodbye?” He asked softly.

“You’ll still write to me, yeah?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Of course.”

She turned away, moving towards the front of the apartment, when he called to her.

“So there’s no more misunderstandings...I need you too.” He confessed.

She walked back towards him so that she could gaze into his eyes once more.

His eyes were that beautiful soft honey because the light was hitting them just right.

“Good. I’ll be off then.” She said slowly.

On instinct she put her hand on top of his to assure him, to comfort him.

It was *not* comforting - instead it lit a match.

His touch seared her skin and she could feel her whole body awaken.

Their breathing became labored as he lifted her hand into his, gently twining their fingers together.

The perfect fit.

She could feel the dam breaking as he pulled her closer.

How did they get *this* close?

His breath was tickling her skin and she could feel herself surrendering, falling into his gravity.

The connection between them was so raw and powerful that it reminded her of touching a live wire.

Her gaze fell to his lips and the dam broke.

His lips were softer than she could have ever imagined.

Line cred to Jason Fry.

Inspiration for this scene is from the tv series, Angel:

Warning: NSFW-Lite

The kiss became all consuming.

Rey couldn’t believe this was happening but it felt so right.

His mouth fell to the crook of her neck,nipping and soothing with his teeth and tongue so that he could coax more moans out of her.

She keened in delight as he doubled his efforts and lifted her up so that her legs wrapped snuggly around his waist.

She could feel him pressing up against her core and she needed relief.

As if reading her mind, he slammed her against the refrigerator - using the extra leverage to press tighter against her.

“So beautiful....” He crooned into the column of her throat.

Wanting to command his attention, Rey cupped Ben’s face in her hands, temporarily halting his ministrations.

“God, I want you so bad.”

He groaned at her admission and changed positions again.

Without any fanfare he wiped the kitchen island clean - not caring what broke.

He set her down gently on the island and climbed on top of her, kissing her with the same level of abandon.

To hell with waiting.

Visual Hack: Click on the Angel scene I tweeted earlier and scrub to 2:18.

The NSFW Lite scene goes somewhat like that. 😉

Happy reading - conclusion/epilogue will likely be up tomorrow.

Goodnight 😴

The morning after:

The afterglow is bliss.

Ben‘s enveloped her tightly in his embrace, cocooning her.

And *god* he looked beautiful.

His silky hair was a slightly tangled mess, but it somehow fell neatly to frame his face.

In his sleep he looked so much younger. Boyish even.

She ached to touch his face, but he had her completely encircled in his strong arms.

Whenever she would move he would murmur in protest.

She tried once more to squirm out and he growled at her.

*Growled*.

“Mine.” He said childishly.

She should have been annoyed, but instead it made her heart soar with bliss.

“Ben, I’m hungry.” She whined.

He cracked his eyes open and looked at her with a sleepy, devilish smile.

“Me too.”

She shrieked as he moved her on top of him.

He playfully mouthed her everywhere. Her face, neck, collarbone- he was having his fill.

“You’re so tasty.”

She giggled at his actions, but her laughter faded into whimpers as he started to put in the effort to nip and suck.

“So, delicious.” He said, smiling into her skin.

Ben eats a different kind of meal that morning.

It isn’t easy, despite their sweet reunion.

They fight.

There’s paranoia.

He thinks she’ll leave him.

And vice versa.

But they grow and bloom and thrive.

Their love is brighter than the sun.

Epilogue:

Rey’s nervous. This is the big day.

She’d been planning this for months and she’s almost 100% certain that Ben is clueless.

Almost.

Plotting 👀

“Mom, seriously. Where are we going?”

The older woman rolled her eyes. “I wanted to bring you to Phasma’s.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s my anniversary and I have this whole thing planned this evening. I don’t want to spend too much time at brunch.” Ben whined.

When they entered Phasma’s it was deja vu.

The lights were off and it felt like the place was closed.

“Mom, what are you up to, seriously?”

He entered the main dining area and the lights immediately came on.

In the space was everyone he cared about lined up to create a makeshift aisle. They were clapping and whooping and he was extremely confused.

“Guys! It’s not my birthday!”

He was pleased to see his friends, but really all he wanted to do was prep for the evening he had planned for himself and Rey.

Before he could protest, a vision in pink burst from the doors.

“Sorry, I’m late - I was just -“

Rey stopped in her heels, finally noticing that Ben had arrived.

“What’s going on sweetheart?”

She walked down the aisle that their friends had created.

Ben could feel his breath hitch and the weight of this visual.

*Soon*.

Rey stopped in front of Ben, a wide smile spreading across her face.

He beamed back as she stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

After kissing him, she looked like she was gonna say something, but she started to blush instead.

Finn started to chant her name in encouragement. Her friends, much to her embarrassment, started to do the same.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.”

Before she could lose her nerve - she did it.

She dropped down on one knee.

She was about to say something when Ben interrupted her. “Wait, no! “

Rey’s blood ran cold.

Everyone collectively gasped at his words, but he recovered quickly.

“Me first.”

He kneeled down to her level, his eyes shining with happiness.

Digging in his pocket he produced a familiar piece of jewelry.

His Nana Paddy’s ring.

“Marry me?”

Rey’s face went from happy to annoyed to triumphant.

“You, nerfherder. Why couldn’t you let me propose first?”

“Who’s stopping you?” He teased.

A beat passed and she revealed a ring that was attached to the silver necklace she wearing.

“Ben Solo, my infuriating soulmate - will you marry me?”

His smile lit up the whole room.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

-FIN-