Thread by @GailSimone

Come watch @CriticalRole with me right now! My first episode ever...campaign 2, episode 1!

#criticalrolewatchparty

Also, eat a cookie!

Look at their dice rolling boxes.

Wait, is this a nerd show?

Holy crap, look at that TABLE.

Should I livetweet or just watch?

I think that poster has launched more nerd boners than Farrah Fawcett.

I am already casting these players for a musical revival of Challenge of the Super-Friends.

I have never heard of 826 before but that sounds great!

Embarrassing secret: I met @rocketspouse playing D&D.

I love this community.

I didn’t know this was @GeekandSundry

This intro sequence is adorable. Plus these outfits are TIMELESS, goddammit.

This really should be a fashion show.

I am breaking them down by suspected lunchroom cliques,

Travis-dance class nerd
Marisha-overachiever nerd
Taliesin-A/V club nerd
Ashley- home ec nerd
Sam- glee club nerd
Liam- drama club nerd
Laura- future leaders of America nerd
Matt- forgotten Van Halen cousin

Matt is making the setting sound like Comicon.

‘Beasts and terrors,’ that’s just hall H.

Ha! I do this when I write fantasy.

“Deep in the dark woods of the Skwippydoo Forest, that is on the border of the city state of New Aggdwrniuednio...”

Matt!

You are workin’ it.

Also, which one has Talia Shire’s hairstyle?

Hint: it’s a dude.

The Nestle Nook Inn has hobbit PPV porn.

BEHIND THE GREEN ROUND DOOR.

BILBO DOES BURBANK

HELM’S DEEP THROAT

Too much?

MATT: Describe your character.

LIAM: I’m...I’m pretty filthy.

Liam.

It’s going to be okay.

‘I have a mess of red hair...’

Liam gets me!

MATT: Sam, describe your character.

SAM: I am a little goblin girl.

Everyone has a dark confession in this show.

Sam and Liam seem like one of them is about to do the walk of shame after promising to call real real soon.

Matt is thinking how to crush them, you can see it.

The Nestle Nook Inn is basically a Holiday Inn Express for orcs.

The breakfast buffet has a manflesh omelet bar.

Hour Two and they just got their orange juice.

There’s no saving throw for the raw sexual tension of this breakfast scene.

Goddammit, Laura is Russian Violet Beauregarde.

She is performatively quirky. JUST LIKE ALL TIEFLINGS.

She’s selling crocheted tea cozies at the Shawn Mendes concert.

Marisha is trying to act like she just threw on her outfit thoughtlessly but then describes the casualness of it in deep detail.

Man. She’s such a Laura.

“Looks like I put on makeup two days ago and I’m like ‘yeah, it still holds up.’”

Oh, Marisha. We see you. You don’t have to pretend any more.

Okay, is Travis the OFFICIAL bear of the group or is that purely subtextual?

Also, his voice knocked my Goop candle off the tv stand and now the whole living room smells like Paltrow pooch pouch.

Travis, “I’M SITTING HERE IN BEAT-UP LEATHERS.”

My question from the previous tweet is answered, thank you.

Wait, Laura is a blueberry quirky girl and MARISHA is named Beaureguard?

If someone waits at the waffle bar this is going to be two days long.

WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LIKE ASHLEY.

Ha, every player always freaks out when the gold pieces come out.

If they love Ashley so much how come we’re three hours into the breakfast and she hasn’t been introduced?

#JusticeForAshley

Ha! Travis rolled a natural twenty and I am more invested than the end of Citizen Kane.

Wait, the blonde girl bottom right isn’t Ashley?

These people are adorable.

Laura, speaking for all of us: you should take a bath right now.

Every girl at every rpg session in history.

Every time Travis speaks a bunch of elf girls ovulate at the speed of a falling anvil.

Oh, Sam, you gleeful dork! :)

I am not here for the anti-goblin sentiment.

Taliesin is a lavender tiefling with red eyes.

Are these people adventurers or cereal mascots?

I am guessing Matt’s notes for this first session are a notebook with just the word BRUNCH in big letters.

They should just call this show TWEET YOUR FETISH (BRUNCH EDITION).

ROLL FOR SYRUP

I came back an hour later and Taliesin is still describing his horn jewelry.

Ashley gets to speak and she’s Morticia, JR.!

#justiceforashley

You guys. Goddammit.

I guess I’m a critter now.

I have to stop though for a bit and do some chores.

But this is super fun, you guys. Thanks to everyone for inviting me!

I am stopping for now at the one hour mark, right about when they get the hash browns. @CriticalRole

And my favorite so far...?

I’m not gonna say. It’s way too early.

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#Jester4lyfe