I have had a number of people reach out to me in the past few days w/friends they have in dangerous #domesticviolence situations. #Covid is making many homes far more dangerous. So here is a general thread on what to do if you have a friend in a #DV situation during #Covid 1/
First, courts are STILL OPEN in most jurisdictions for emergency orders of protection. They are closed for non-emergencies. And most courts can grant these 24/7. However most courts are also backlogged right now. If you can, take pictures of your important documents... 2/
Passports, birth certs, kids school & medical records, health & life insurance info, etc. Send those pics to a trusted friend and either erase them from your phone, or P/W protect them. DV hotlines can safety plan with you. If you are having trouble getting out of the house... 3/
Make an excuse (we got mail delivered for the neighbor, or you need to get something from your car. Make up an errand). Then call your local DV office. @ndvh can connect you to local orgs. Shelters ARE up & operating, & many have reserved blocks of hotel rooms in order for 4/
clients to be able to isolate. Many have arranged food delivery & reservations are ALL under the DV org, not the victim! Make SURE to turn off GPS tracking on your devices. If you have a trusted friend, create a code word: your birth city, or pet's nickname... something that 5/
will alert your friend to call the police. The police WILL not enter your home & DV advocates are not doing in-home visits, but the police can still make arrests. Try to encourage this as it buys you some time to gather essentials to leave (paperwork, kids stuff, etc). 6/
Stay out of rooms w/only one entry/exit whenever possible. DV orgs should also be able to connect you to free legal aid, but again... courts are closed for all but emergency orders. You will not be granted custody at this time. Know what kind of danger you're in by doing...7/
a danger assessment on yourself, via ncdsv.org/images/DANGERA… Make sure to do a timeline of incidents so you have a sense of whether things are escalating or not. This is important. Also, there are apps that can help. For example, myPlan gives you a sense of dangerousness and 8/
Keys to Courage can help you w/DV documentation (play.google.com/store/apps/det…) Remember, what matters in this moment is that you stay alive. Do NOT fight back, even if you normally would & do. Options are limited. If your abuser's name is not on your lease or deed, you can 9/
legally have that person removed from your residence. Locksmiths are changing locks. And police will do extra drive bys of your house if you ask (at least they should). Police will not be able to collect evidence for later use, so take pictures of a room in disarray from 10/
abuse (blood stains, etc.). I am not a lawyer and judge's rule against all sorts of evidence usage in court, but err on the side of caution and collect whatever you can. If someone threatens to kill his/herself, take it seriously. This is also a HUGE marker of dangerousness. 11/
Remember that neighbors can be super helpful. Slip a note under their door. If they've heard abuse, suggest police take statements from them. Give them a code word to call police for you. Give them a key in case you need to flee; they can care for pets, etc. possibly. People 12/
will and do want to help. Also, IT DOES NOT MATTER if you are in the US legally or not. DV organizations will help; shelters are available. Here is a list of resources: ncadv.org/other-organiza… or futureswithoutviolence.org 13/END.
